always yours
by afstory1988
Summary: Buck is going through his lawsuit after a meeting he meets someone and he thinks its going well till it all starts going wrong
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

As buck awoke in his bed he rolled over to see what time it was

**_ '8am I can have another hour '_**

As he rolled over and nodded off again, he was woken up by his phone ringing he didn't look who it was just answered the phone

"Hello" he said in groggy tone

"Hi Evan its Chase your lawyer"

"Oh hey what's up? We're meeting at 1 aren't we?" he asked confused to why he was been called so early

"Yes Buck but that was 20 minutes ago where are you?"

"Oh shit I'll be there ASAP" Buck responded as he hung up and rushed round getting dressed to go to Chase's office and talk about the lawsuit and to get his job back. He stopped and looks in the mirror and started to think about everything that was going on.

Since the start of the lawsuit he was unable to talk to anyone at the 118 which was weighing on him as they were like family and always was talking to them outside of work, but he missed Eddie and Chris more as he had grown so fond of Chris and Eddie well he was his best mate but just before the truck explosion Buck had been having other feelings about Eddie which he always pushed down as he didn't want ruin his friendship

**_ 'I must stop thinking like this about Eddie he wouldn't be interested in me anyway' _**

He continued getting ready and headed out as he got to chases office they spent a few hours talking Buck explaining all the other problems the 118 team were having individually

**_ 'Should I be telling him all this'_**

It had been on Bucks mind for days weather not losing everyone was worth it but he just wanted to go back to work and enjoy the job he loved doing.

"Ok were all done here Evan you can go" chase said as he held his hand out for a goodbye handshake

"Cool so do you think we have a chance to get my job back?" Buck asked

"That and a big pay out" chase answered with a grin on his face

"I told you I don't want the money I just want to be back in the 118" Buck responded starting to get annoyed by Chase

"I know but we have the hearing tomorrow so let's see what happens" Chase explained

Buck shook his hand and went off **_'I need a drink'_** as he leaves the office building he heads towards the club he wants to go to knowing that no one would hate him he sits at the bar and orders a drink "not seen you in here before" a male voice from behind came "It's not very often I come here and normally I stay for one drink and go" buck explains

"Aaron by the way" Aaron said as he held his hand out

"Sorry im Evan but everyone calls me Buck" he responds

"Nice to meet you Buck" Aaron say as he smiles and Buck smiles back

"You want a drink?" Buck asks

"Sure JD and Coke please" Aaron replies

Buck orders the drinks and they both wander over to a table in the corner to talk, "so see anything you fancy?" Aaron asks with a wink

"Oh no im just here for a drink nothing else" Buck replies as he looks down

"My bad I thought you were Gay or at least bi, did you not know this was a gay club?" Aaron asked with a confused look on why Buck was here

"Yeah I knew it was a gay club and to be honest im bi vie been with one lad before but kept it to myself" Buck replied "my father wasn't nice about it when he found out and we stopped talking" he carried on but leaving out a big amount of the story on why they stopped

"It's ok if you don't want to talk about it we can talk about other things it looks like you have a lot on your mind?" Aaron quizzed

"You could say that, I just wanted to come somewhere no one hates me" Buck replied

"Well you're in the best place no one will judge you" Aaron said with a smile Buck smiled back and they continued to talk for a few hours Buck explaining everything that happened and what he does and Aaron explaining what he does and where he's from

"Hate to do this but I gotta go I have work early tomorrow "Aaron said

"Oh ok it's been nice talking and having someone to listen to me moan" Buck responded

**_'He must hate me to'_**

"Here" Aaron handed Buck a piece of paper and when Buck looked at it and was shocked it had Aarons number on it and message next to it, they shook hands and both left as Buck realised it was late and he needed be ready for his hearing tomorrow.

As Buck gets in his taxi he takes his phone and looks at the home screen no messages or calls, he pulls out the piece of paper and texts Aaron, hey nice to chat and meet you maybe we could do it again and hits send, as he sat in the back of the taxi the driver spoke to him and he kept a conversation going but eventually sat in silence as Buck really didn't want talk as they were getting close they drove past the cinema and Buck heart stopped as he saw Eddie and Chris coming out the cinema he missed there film nights just chilling with them both but more because he could be close to Eddie which made him feel safe

'**_I miss him but I messed it up as im a screw up'_**

He was snapped out of his own mind entrapment by his phone pinging it was a message back from Aaron It was cool to meet you to yeah id be down to meet for a drink again but kind of feels like you're asking me out on a date or have I got the wrong end of the stick again lol if so disregard the last bit, Bucks eyes went wide he didn't think that was the kind of reply he would get but instead of replying straight away he left it a while and thought about it and all the bad luck he had with women in the past maybe he should go for it and see what happens

**_'What's the worst that can happen?'_**

Before he can decide what he wants do the taxi pulls up and he pays the man before heading to his apartment once inside he sits down but then stands up and starts pacing he doesn't know what do and instead of texting back he calls Aaron

"Hey it's Buck"

"Hello I wasn't expecting you to call" came the reply

"Yes" was all Buck could answer

"Ermm yes?" Aaron quizzed

Silence passed for a few seconds

"Oh are you saying yes it's a date or yes I got the wrong end of the stick" Aaron laughed

"Yes to the date" buck responded

They continued to chat for an hour discussing where they will go and what time and decided to meet tomorrow after Bucks hearing as he would be in town and save him going back and to

"Till tomorrow" Aaron says as he hangs up

Buck puts the phone down smiling someone actually wanted to spend time with him and not hate him, he got changed and got his head down for an early night hoping to be fresh for the meeting and his date but during the night he had nightmares of the tsunami and loosing Chris he woke and sat there as tears fell down he couldn't ring Eddie to see if Chris was ok he was all alone in his flat, as day light entered the apartment he knew it was time to get his job back he got up from his bed and showered and put his suit on he put a bottle of aftershave in his pocket so he could spray some for his date which was pretty much straight after.

"Evan" Chase calls as Buck walks in to the hearing office, as he goes to greet him he sees the 118 team stood there not a single one says anything to him during the hearing Chase brings up all the personal information Buck told him in confidence

**_'Whys he saying that I didn't want him to use it, now they will hate me for ever'_**

As the meeting concludes the 118 team leaves in the elevator and Buck watches them go but he doesn't have time to waste he has a date to go to, he arrives at the restaurant and everything goes well and they agree to a second date the following week, during the time in between buck decides to drop the case against the LAFD as they settles outside of court offering Buck his job and a settlement much to the horror of Chase Buck turns down the money but accepts the job back at the 118 but he will have to do light duties till he's recovered, he rings Aaron to tell him the good news and arrange to meet later.

When Buck gets the to the bar he gets a message from Aaron saying he was going be 15 mins late as his train is delayed, he took this time to try and call Eddie he dials him but is met with him hanging up Buck tries again and again for a few minutes eventually it goes straight to answer machine to which he leaves a message

"hey Eddie its Buck I know a lot has happened but I could be coming back soon only on light duties and I would love to catch up and see Chris, im sorry about my lawyer bringing up all that stuff I just told him the stuff to help build my case I didn't know he would use it, but please Ed please call me "

"Should I be jealous" a voice comes from behind

Buck jumps and hangs up the message

"No was leaving a message for my best mate Eddie now I can go back" Buck replies

"Don't you mean EX best mate who hates you as you put it" Aarons remarks back

This took Buck by surprise as he thought he would be happy that he got his job back which he knew was so important to him but brushed it off

"Let's enjoy the date" buck responds

As they had there date they laughed and joked and as the finished and walking through the park Aaron stopped

"What's up" buck questioned

"just enjoying the view, I've been thinking we've been dating a few weeks and we speak everyday multiple times I feel we know each other so well" he states

"And" Buck buts in

"Well if you waited I was getting to it" Aaron snaps and starts to walk off

**_'Now he hates me to, no I can save this'_**

He chases after Aaron and catches him and grabs his hand

"Im sorry you know what im like, go on what were you saying" Buck explains

"You need to learn you shouldn't interrupt people it's rude" Aaron responds back, Buck looks at him "I know im sorry" is all he can reply

**_'I need to be sorry I can't have him hating me like everyone else'_**

"Its fine I suppose but anyway I was thinking how about we make it official" Aaron says with a smile on his face

"Official" Buck looks confused

"You are definitely not bright are you Buck, Im asking you to be my boyfriend, so will you?" Aaron questions

Buck is taken back he knew it was all going well to well he thought but he was just happy to have someone in his life that wanted him and wanted to show him attention and affection

"Earth to Buck" Aaron said

"Yes let's do it" Buck responds

"But can we keep it to just us im not ready for the world to know is that ok?" Buck asks

"If we must" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes

They continued to walk through the park then Buck realises something

"how will we make it work as you live the other side of the city and can take a good hour by car or more if you're in traffic" Buck asks

"Well I could always move closer I suppose unless you want to move in with me?" Aaron states

Buck looks at him and thinks

"wouldn't it be better if you move in with me as both are workplaces so close to mine" Buck asks

"Perfect" Aarons says as he leans in and kisses Buck, he loves the attention and the closeness he gets from Aaron.

They walk back to Bucks and spend the night together the next day they spend the day driving to and from Aarons moving his stuff.

As the days went by Buck had to grin and bear the meaningless tasks Bobby kept setting him and not letting him on calls yet as it was Bobby's way of punishing Buck, he would call Aaron his break to tell him how his day was going Aaron would tell him.

"What time will you be back ill have food ready" Aaron asked

"I get off at 8 so I'll be back for 8:30" Buck replied

Buck hung up his call as the team returned from a call it was 7:45 so Buck started getting ready to go

"Where do you think you're going?" Bobby questioned

"Home my shift is over in 15 minutes" Buck replied

"It's over when I say and you need clean that truck before you go" Bobby replied

Buck rolled his eyes and got his phone out to text to say he would be late, but as he did Bobby reached over and took it off him "not on my time now get cleaning"

Buck rushed to clean the truck so he could get home it was now 9pm and he packed the stuff away and got his phone off Bobby, he had 4 missed calls and 2 texts he read them

You're late where are you?

Answer me

Buck realised he would have some making up but he knew that Aaron knew his job sometimes can run over, Buck gets in his car and starts driving home as he driving he calls Aaron but no answer he tries several times no answer

**_'He must be busy or he's super mad that I have messed up plans'_**

As he got home he pulled up unsure of what he was to face he looked at the clock on his phone the time was now 9:45, he enters the apartment and is greeted by a lovely smell but sees Aaron scraping the plate of food in to the bin

"Im sorry im late things came up at work, you didn't need chuck the food I could have reheated it in the microwave" Buck explained

"It wouldn't taste the same as when I had cooked it for the time we agreed you would be home" Aaron said in angry tone

"Don't need be angry you know how my work is I can over run I was going send a text but Bobby took my phone off me and I have be careful I only just got my job back" Buck explained

Buck moved closer to Aaron but Aaron put the plate in to the sink and walked past Buck making sure to bump in to him

"If you want food make it yourself" Aaron said as he walked in to the living room to put TV on as Buck made a sandwich he started walking in to the living room

"What do you think you are doing?" Aaron asked

"Sitting down next to you and eating" Buck replied

"Were you raised in a barn you sit at the table to eat not on the sofa, talking of barns I think you need shower to" Aaron said

Buck didn't answer just walked over to the table and started eating whilst thinking to him self

**_'I must have really upset him, but at least he is here and not ignoring me'_**

As he finished the sandwich he went in the kitchen did the dishes and went for a shower as he went in to the bedroom and got a change of clothes and did his exercise routine to help his leg strengthen up p, he went and showered as he came out Aaron was waiting and greeted him with a kiss and log hug

"Im sorry Buck, I was just a bit upset I do understand lets go cuddle and you can tell me about your day" Aaron said as he led Buck to the sofa they sat and Aaron talked about his day and the stress of the new role he just took on whilst Buck mainly focused on talking about Eddie and Christopher and not been able talk to them

"Anyone would think you wanted him as your boyfriend the way you talk about him" Aaron butted in

"I don't" Buck responded

"You've just spent the last 10 minutes talking about him and not really anything about your day, im sure in your job there's plenty of things that happen that far more exciting than some ex solider and his son!" Aaron snapped at Buck

"Im sorry I didn't realise I had done" Buck replied

**_'I should watch what I say as I don't want loose him to as well as everyone else I've lost I can't afford to lose him he's my world right now'_**

"Aaron you're my world right now the only good thing I have going right now you came in to my life when I was so low and you picked me up " Buck explained as he teared up

"It's ok I understand, let me make a cuppa and we will head to bed" Aaron said

Aaron got up and walked to turn the kettle on as he did Buck got up came in to the kitchen and sat on the stool as he watched Aaron tapping the spoon on the cups as he waited for the kettle to boil

"What time you on shift tomorrow?" Aaron asks

"Im off tomorrow got some blood tests to go for" Buck answers

"Oh so does that mean you're working the weekend?" Aaron questions

"Yeh will be sorry" Buck replies

"That's fine I can start on painting the hall" Aaron explains

"When did we decide that" asking as he couldn't remember talking about it

"When I said to you about painting walls and change around" Aaron replied looking abit annoyed

"I thought you were on about work not here" Buck replied

"Oh Evan it's a good thing your beautiful as you are dumb aren't you" Aaron remarked back

"What's that meant mean!" exclaimed Buck

"I just mean it shows you don't really listen and you just go through the motions of nodding without thinking what you're doing and then making the wrong decision I mean look at the lawsuit" Aaron said

**_'He's right if I haven't had done the lawsuit and brought up all their personal problems I would have everyone on my side and not against me and I wouldn't be so lonely_**

"You're right" he answers

"Always with the sad tone with you isn't it" Aaron questioned

The kettle boils and he fills the cups up and picks the cups up as he forgot the milk and has he walks towards the fridge past buck he pretends to trip and the boiling water in the cups lands on Bucks legs, he screams out in pain Aaron looks at him and waits a few seconds as he watches Buck in pain before he starts to help him

"Omg im sorry buck I must have tripped over your leg im so sorry, why you have your leg out?" Aaron said as he grabs Buck

"I didn't have my leg out" Buck responds

"You did Buck how else could I have fallen, you were the only thing in my path" Aaron responds

**_'Maybe I did have my leg out he wouldn't just trip like that for nothing god im stupid'_**

"What do I need do buck" Aaron asks

"Run the shower with cold water need to start cooling it down quick" Buck

Aaron walks to the shower with a grin on his face knowing he got away with what he had done, he gets the shower going and Buck walks in and gets in

"Can you get the burn cream from the first aid kit in the kitchen" Buck asks

"Yeah" Aarons responds as he starts walking in the kitchen he finds it straight way but decides to take his time

"Where is it I can't see it" he shouts

"It should be by the microwave" Buck responds

"It isn't there buck"

He hears Buck turn the shower off and moves to the cupboard under the sink

"Found it" Aaron says

"It was under the sink, why you put it there?" he asks Buck

"I don't know I could have sworn it was next to the microwave, but anyway pass it hears" buck asks

Buck opens the kit and starts to apply the cream and cover up the burns

"It doesn't look that bad" Aaron says

"It sure feels it though, I best go hospital" Buck responds

"why don't you just man up, you know first aid you can bandage it up and look after them yourself fit is what your trained for plus you're at the drs tomorrow for blood tests and if your so unsure about your skills then ask them look at it, but to me it would look silly a first responder asking a dr to waste his time looking at something you can sort your self don't you agree" Aaron says as he rubs Bucks hands

**_'He's right you will look an idiot if you show this to your doctor just man up and deal with it yourself' _**

He dressed the burns on his thigh and knee, once done Aaron helped him to bed, once in Aaron pretty much fell asleep straight away and Buck lay there in pain

**_'How could I be so stupid to leave my leg out, I need to start been more careful'_**

And with this last though he nodded off.


	2. Chapter 2

It was an uncomfortable night for Buck as he found it hard to sleep through the pain, he was awoken by the sound of an alarm going off, Aaron stirred and turned it off and got up and went straight in to the bathroom to get ready and Buck fell back asleep he awoke again with Aaron above him

"Morning sleepy head" Aaron said as he kissed Bucks forehead

"Morning what time is it?" Buck asked

"Nearly 7:30 im heading off but made you breakfast" Aaron said as he held a tray, Buck sat up and Aaron placed the tray down

"Thought we had eat at the table as it not a barn" buck says with a smirk

"Cheeky, well you're hurt so I'll let you off" Aaron say smiling

"Im sorry about last night" Aaron started to speak

"What for I was the one who caused it all" Buck quickly stated as he drunk some orange juice

"But I could have done more to help you" Aaron replied

"Like you said im trained to sort these problems, which I am so don't worry about it accidents happen" Buck said

"What time is your appointment?" Aaron asks

"1pm then ill head shops to get food for a meal later" Buck responds

**_'Need to make up for last night; he has been so kind when I was such an idiot getting myself burned like that'_**

"We could always go out you know have a meal out" Aaron says

"Maybe I'll see how my leg is but I also got a long shift tomorrow as its Halloween so it can be busy" Buck says

"Ok well let me know before I finish work what you want do" Aaron says as he rolls his eyes but Buck was too busy eating the food to notice and just gave a nod of his head

"Im off see you later babe" Aarons says as he kisses Buck on the cheek and smiles at him and walks off out

**_'Can't believe how nice he's been to me'_**

He checked his phone to see if he had any messages off anyone he had only one off Bobby saying what time to start his shift tomorrow as he on light duties but it was so formal not like they use to be

**_'Everyone must hate me still but I can't moan it was my entire fault, I need to man up'_**

With that thought he finishes the food and moves the tray over so he can get out of bed and start getting ready as he stands he remembers about the burn as it starts to hurt, he takes off the dressing to look at it and see how bad it is in the daylight. He peels off the bandage and sees the red marks of the burn with some blisters appearing and knows he needs it looking at

**_'He will think your weak if you get someone look at it, do you want to prove your weak'_**

The thoughts in his head were confusing him so he shook his head and went for a shower taking care round the burn when washing and drying he then place ointment on the burn and while it soak in he took the tray down to wash up the dishes as he starting washing he heard a knock at the door and panicked he didn't want anyone to see the burn so he pulled a pair of shorts on and over and he could feel the fabric stick to the burn.

"One second" he shouted as he walked up to the door trying to take his time so the fabric didn't rub

As he opened the door he is greeted by his sister

"Buck" Maddie says as she pushed pass him and walks in to the apartment as he closes the door he turns round and she hugs him

"It's been a while since I last saw you "she says

"I know im sorry just been busy" he replies

"its fine I spoke to Bobby he said you were off today so I thought we could spend a few hours together before I go to work" she explains

"That be cool I have a Dr Appointment at 1pm so it near your work anyway we can have lunch before you go work and I go drs" he says

"Well hurry up and get changed" he says

Buck hobbles ups the stairs and Maddie notices

"What's up with your leg?" he questions

"Oh I forgot do my leg exercise last night so it playing up, I'll get it done while I get changed" he lied

**_'Why didn't I just tell her the truth, she could have help sort it no I can't I need to be man and deal with it myself'_**

His thoughts distracting him from getting ready "I'll be in the bathroom going do my exercises make yourself at home" Buck shouts down

"Ok" Maddie replies as she walks in to the living room looking round noticing different things that in the room that Buck wouldn't buy for himself and wonders what's going on

Upstairs Buck was using the time he brought himself with lying about doing exercises to sort out the burn he peels the shorts off and sees that it pulls some of the ointment off and pops a blister he bites his finger so not to scream and alert Maddie tears form as he takes them fully off, he grabs the first aid box and cleans it up and reapplies the ointment and places bandages and wraps it once done he cleans himself up and gets dressed and starts walking down the stairs.

"Buck, who's is all this stuff?" Maddie questions

Buck is taken by surprise as he forgot no one knew about Aaron and he wasn't quite ready to tell people, his sister knew he was bi already but to admit to her he had a bf and that he had already moved in was a bit too much

**_'Im such a fool why did I not just say ill meet her later'_**

"Do you have someone living here Buck?" Maddie asks again

Buck is unsure how to answer hoping that if he doesn't answer she will give in which she eventually does

"Fine don't tell me now but you know I'll get it out of you" she laughs and pokes him

"We will see "He replies with a grin

They head off in to town and wander the shops Maddie talking about her therapy and how it's all going asking Buck how his leg is and that she knows the team are giving him a hard time but they will forgive him, they sit down for lunch Maddie texts Chim while Buck texts Aaron asking what he fancies for food later as he wants stay in due to his leg hurting, once there food arrives they start eating and Maddie asks

"So who is the lucky person who gets to move in with my little big brother?" Maddie asks hoping to catch him off guard

"His name is" Buck stops midway as he didn't want to say just yet

"Ah so it's a he is it, you're so easy to get info out of Buck, dad was right diffidently not the brightest light in the harbour are you" Maddie teases

**_'Even she thinks im dumb, Aaron is right I really need to watch what im doing from now on'_**

"Yeh sorry I was going tell you when I was ready "he replies

"What no Whitty comeback from you?" Maddie questions as she was ready for his banter but thought with pretty much asking about this new guy kind of threw him off his normal response

"So come on tell me all about him? Must be serious if he's already living with you" she asks

Buck then goes on to explain how they met and why he moved in smiling as he talks about him

"You really like him don't you?" Maddie asks

"He's been so kind when everyone else has been so distant and unwilling to talk to me so we spent so much time together so we got to know each other and he makes me happy, but please keep this to yourself for now as Im enjoying it without people be nosy and I want the team to talk to me for me not because the want gossip" he replies

"I understand my lips are sealed but I still want meet him give him the Maddie talk" she jokes

"oh god that won't be happening" he responds

"Well best get the bill and head to work see what the day brings, Im dreading the calls tomorrow as it Halloween" she says

"Well you don't need a costume with that witches face you have" Buck jokes

"You wait I'll make sure you get punished for that remark" she laughs

They walk out the restaurant and head off in different directions Buck checks his phone and Aaron replied that he wasn't fussed about what they had to eat which made it easier for Buck to decide what to get later, as he walked in to the drs he sat and waited the pain in his leg throbbing deciding whether not to tell the doctor about the burn

**_'If you do Aaron will think your weak and leave you, do you want the best thing in your life to go because you fail to man up'_**

The doctor calls him in and discussed his scans and show him how much he's improved and takes the blood from him, as he talks to the dr he can feel his phone vibrating

"Sorry one sec" Buck says

He looks at his phone and sees Aaron Calling he swipes up and replies im with doctor call you after

"Sorry again, where were we" Buck says

"well Buck your scans are fine just keep taking your blood thinners and ill book you in for more scans see how the clots are doing, is there anything else you want ask or tell me ?" the doctor asks

**_'Tell him, tell him about the burn and how much pain you are in just tell him'_**

"No im ok" Buck responds

'**_Im not weak, ill man up'_**

"Ok Buck but if anything does come up you tell me, you've been through a lot with the explosion and then the tsunami, so it can take its toll but you have the support if you need it" the doctor explains

'**_The only support I have is Aaron and Maddie everyone else hates me'_**

"Oh thanks doc" he responds

He stands up and shakes the doctor's hand and starts to walk out his leg throbbing in pain

"Wait Buck" the doctor speaks up

"Yeah what's up" Buck asks confused

"What's up with the leg is it playing up? Do you want me look at it?" the doctor asks

**_'I've burned it and its killing me how much pain im in, just tell him but I can't look weak in front of anyone they will hate me if I do'_**

"No its ok just goes stiff when I sit down for long its fine once I get going" he replies

"Ok if it doesn't go come back and we will look at it for you" the doctor explains

He shakes Bick hand as Buck walks out he's greeted by Aaron

"What you doing here?" he questions

"Well im on dinner so thought I come see you" Aaron explains as he reaches over gives him a hug as he does he sees Carla walk out a room with Eddie, Buck releases the hold on Aaron

"What's up" Aaron asks

Buck didn't reply just looked over at Eddie and Carla who hadn't seen him yet

"Oh rather look at eye candy than me then is it" Aaron said

**_'I can't say that im attracted to Eddie or that I have deep feelings for a straight guy it will upset Aaron and that's not fair'_**

"No nothing like that at all, that's Eddie and Carla and im just not ready for them to know about you that's all" Buck explains

"So now im your dirty little secret" Aaron says getting annoyed

"No nothing like that he says, just not ready for all the questions that's all" Buck responds

"Buckaroo" Carla shouts over and Buck heart stops he doesn't know what do as Carla walks over luckily Eddie stayed where he was

"Hey Carla been a while since I saw you, what you doing here?" Buck asked

"Oh were here with Chris he speaking to his Doctor about his leg muscles and new walking sticks that he will be getting" Carla explains

"Why you telling him that he doesn't care Carla he didn't care when he sued the city so why will he care how" Eddie states as he walks over the tension is rising

"I do care Eddie and you know I do anything for Chris" Buck replied

"well he needed you when we were going through the lawsuit and you let him down you let me down and he's realised that yet another person he cared for has left him and it's all your fault" Eddie snaps at Buck

"Boys not here, Chris may hear you "Carla says

As this goes on Aaron just stands there watching it all unfold with a grin on his face, he reaches over and touches Bucks arm to get his attention

"Oh by the way this is Aaron he's a…. Friend" Buck states

"Yeh a friend" Aaron says in a dull tone not looking to happy that Buck referred to him as a friend

"Nice to me you Hun sorry about these two, they need their heads banging together" she joked

"More than banged" he joked back and Carla let out a huge laugh witch made Buck feel at ease that they aren't going question anymore

"Hey Buck can I use your phone please left mine at the office so need ring them see if anyone wants a coffee bringing back" Aaron asks

"Yeah sure, here you go" Buck passes him his phone and Aaron walks off round the corner

"Nice to see you have someone with you Buck I know it's been hard these last few months on you" Carla starts speaking before Eddie jumps in

"But he had no one because he's a selfish and doesn't care about anyone" Eddies states

"That's not fair" Buck responds

As this is happening Aaron is on Bucks phone, he opens up the message app to see the messages he had sent to Buck after he rung him in the doctors room but Aaron was outside the whole time so Buck hadn't been able to read them as he was busy with the doctor and when he left the room Aaron was waiting by the door, he opened the messages and read them so the notification disappears he then turned it on to airplane mode and sent a message back to himself saying ok knowing that when buck realised his phone was on airplane mode he would turn it off and the message would send to Aaron, As he does this Chris comes out and sees Aaron and knows the phone is Bucks as he would know Bucks phone anywhere

"Why do you have Bucks phone?" Chris asks

"Why does it matter to you, you little worm" Aarons replies with a grin

"It's not nice have other people's phone or to call people names" Chris states

"well its none of your business anyway, Buck doesn't like you never has or your dad he was just playing a game as he felt sorry for you he actually hates you and your dad that's why he hadn't been around for ages he just doesn't want to see you" Aaron states

"You lie" Chris says with tears in his eyes

"I don't lie, Buck hates you and doesn't want see you anymore and if you tell anyone what I said but will never forgive you "Arron states as he walks off leaving Chris crying to which a nurse comes to him and comforts him

He walks up to Buck and hands him his phone

"Want to get a coffee?" Aarons asks

"Sure nothing here for me anyway" Buck replies

"See you around Carla" Buck says completely ignoring Eddie

As they walk off the nurse brings Chris to Eddie who can see he's really upset

"What's up mate?" he asks

"Nothing I don't want say" Chris replies

"You gotta say otherwise I can't fix it and make you happy" Eddie replies

The nurse nods to Eddie that she wants to talk to him

"Just take him outside Carla ill catch up" Eddie says

Carla nods and takes Chris while Eddie and the nurse move to one side

"What was up with him" he asks

"im not sure I saw him talking to the man who left with Buck (everyone in the doctors knew Buck as he always talked to them all whenever he came in) and saw him upset but by time I got close the guy had walked off and Chris was crying so im not sure what was said" the nurse replied

"Ok thank you I'll speak to him later" Eddie replied

He walked off wondering what was said he didn't like the way Aaron was around buck just gave him a bad feeling, he caught up with Chris and Carla and they headed home he didn't really speak on the way back to busy thinking about what was said to his son that upset him so much and who was this guy that Buck was friends with something seemed off but he wasn't sure.

"You ok Hun?" Carla asks

"Yeh just want get Chris home so I can try find out what was said, what did you think of the guy Buck was with?" he asks

"All I know is he doesn't seem the right person to be round around our Buckaroo, he seemed so quiet but then again that's was most likely from the earful you gave him, why are you so hard on him?" she ask

"it's just he was there from the beginning helped me through everything with Chris introduced us to you and got the help we need when my wife dies he was there after the explosion and tsunami he showed how much he cared for Chris he makes me feel safe when he's around it's just.." Eddie stops as he doesn't want to admit it

"You're in love with him aren't you?" Carla asks

"No" Eddie said with a nervous laugh

"Oh hunny I know you are and I know you know you, I don't judge I think it's sweet" she says

"It's just complicated and he's straight anyway so I can't have him in the way I want" he says his cheeks going red

"But you have a chance to be his friend again all you gotta do is talk to him, you know he will have you back as a friend he's"

"Buck" Eddie says finishing off Carla's sentence they both laughed when they got in Eddie sat with Chris and tried to make sense of what went on at the doctors

"Come on bud tell me what happened" Eddie asked as he held his sons hand

"I can't say" Chris said

"Why?" Eddie asked

"I don't want Buck to hate me more if I say" Chris replied and walked off to his room

"Think I need a chat with Buck about his friend" Eddie says to Carla

"Well just make sure you keep your cool Mr hot head" she jokes

Back in town Buck and Aaron are sat at the coffee shop waiting for the office order be done so Aaron can take them back work

"You ok you seem distant after seeing that Eddie guy" Aaron asks

"It's just I thought he would have forgiven me and we can be friends again" Buck replies

"Well you did kind of did screw him and the rest of the team over remember some people can't forgive just like that, that's why you should use what cells you have in that head before you do things" Aaron said as he laughed

**_'Was that a joke or he was he right I do need to think about things god im so dumb'_**

As they got the drinks and Buck walked to Aarons work he saw Aaron smiling at him

"What?" Buck asks

"Can't I smile and look at my handsome boyfriend" Aaron replies

**_'He called me handsome and his boyfriend he doesn't hate me'_**

"Never got to ask what the doctor said" Aaron quizzed

"Oh everything is fine just more tests and scans make sure all is ok" Buck replied

"What about the burn?" Aaron asked with a concerned look

"Nothing I didn't tell him" Buck replied

"Good you're more than capable of sorting it yourself" Aaron replied

**_'What he mean by that I know I can do it ill show him'_**

They get to Aarons work and he heads in and Buck starts to walk to the shop he looks at his phone and see it on airplane mode

"must have knocked it by mistake" he says to himself as he turns it off he calls Maddie to let her know what the doctor said and what had happened with Eddie, not realising a text had been sent to Aaron, he hangs up and starts shopping getting all the food and heads home, once home he tides up and starts food its 5pm he knows Aaron will be home by half 6 so he heads up to get changed and showered and takes some painkillers and redresses his burn, he goes down and gets the table ready

**_'Perfect everything is ready and perfect'_**

Once 6:30 comes and no sign of Aaron he calls him and Aaron picks up

"Hey where you? Our food is ready" Buck says

"What you mean food is ready, I told you I was going out so won't be back till later" Aaron responds

"You knew I was cooking I told you" Buck replies starting to get annoyed

"And I texted you after I called you at the doctors to say I couldn't do food tonight as it a colleague's birthday and im going out and you replied after I went back work saying ok" Aaron replied

"You didn't send any messages" Buck responded

"Look at your messages I have them on my phone" Aaron said

Buck went quiet for a min as he looked at the messages and saw them there

"Im sorry I must have looked but not registered them" Buck replies

"Not good enough I've had to come out away from my friends to talk to you just because you can't be bothered read something from your boyfriend" Aaron snapped down the phone

"Im sorry, I must have missed it with everything that happened at the doctors and Eddie" Buck replied

"Him again you're always talking about him or worrying about him and that cripple kid of his" Aaron sounded so angry

"There's no need for that word to be used Aaron he's a sweet kid" Buck Stated

There was silence and then a voice in the background could be heard on the phone "come on Aaron it's your round"

"Look we will talk when I get back I gotta go" Aaron said and hung the phone up

As Buck put the phone down he started to cry as he realised he was to blame for the argument and not reading things properly

**_'Im such an idiot no wonder he's angry, I would be to im so useless'_**

He started to clean the table and chuck the food in the bin after he did the dishes he sat on the sofa waiting for Aaron to come home it got to 9pm and Aaron turned up, Buck got up to meet him he could tell he was not sober but not drunk either

"Im sorry" Buck started to say

"Don't bother, all you do is say sorry and mope why don't you just man up" Aaron says as he gets close to him

"I don't need man up im just saying im sorry for not" Before he could finish Aaron pushes Buck in his chest with his hands and Buck falls back and his back lands on the corner of the sofa and then lands on the floor landing on his burn so he is in lots of pain he looks up at Aaron

"Im sorry Buck I don't know why I did that I didn't mean to I was just angry and it just happened im so sorry" Aaron explained as he picked Buck up Holding his hand and stroking his hair and pulls him in for a hug

"im sorry Buck, I really am sorry" Aaron said again

He continued talking as Buck just stood there in shock of what had happened Aaron's arms around him

**_'leave right now, he hurt you, you don't deserve this kind of treatment, but I did mess up and made the mistake of not reading messages and then hassling him but he's never done anything like this and listen to him he sounds so apologetic and sincere maybe it's all the pressure off me not been my best and always bringing up Eddie and not focusing on him'_**

"It's ok I forgive you I know you didn't mean to hurt me" Buck says

Aaron didn't say anything just held buck tight and rubbed his back with a grin on his face knowing he got away with it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Its 5am and Buck looks at his phone as it vibrates, it's time to get up and head to work for a long shift, he was kind of glad he wasn't out on calls today as he didn't think he would last the shift with the pain he was in with his leg and chest and back that and the lack of sleep he had gotten these last few nights, he got ready trying to be as quiet as possible and not to wake up Aaron, he went and started the shower and got sorted covering the burn with the burn cream and dressing it up so it was well protected, then as he looked up in the mirror he noticed the outline of two hand prints on his chest he turned to look at his back and saw the mark on his back he could feel tears building looking at his bruises he flinched when he heard a voice behind him

"Im sorry again" Aaron said from behind as he walked up to Buck and held him in a hug pulling him tight, Buck did not saying anything as Aaron presses on his bruised chest and back

"I told you its ok, just got out of hand last night and mistakes were made by both of us let's just move on" Buck replied as he turned to kiss him on the lips

"You got time for a bit of fun" Aaron questioned

"No Hen is picking me to take me in to work" Buck replied

"When did you arrange that? What's up with your car?" Aaron asked

"I messaged her after well you know the accident and said my car wasn't working and that my leg was playing up so could I get a lift in" Buck replied

"You didn't tell her why you couldn't use your leg did you?" Aaron questioned

"No it's between us" Buck replied even though he did want talk to someone but with everything going on and the words of Eddie in his head that he was selfish and everyone else has problems he didn't want to say anything.

"Well message me when you're close to finishing and I'll come pick you up" Aaron said

"Ok cool maybe we can go out for a meal after depending on the time "Buck asked

"Yeh we will see what time it is after all it is Halloween" Aaron stated as he walked out and left Buck to get ready, once Buck was done and headed down the stairs he was greeted by Aaron and a cup of coffee to take with him, he handed Buck the drink and rubbed his hand

"Have a good day Babe" Aaron said as he kissed Buck and went upstairs Buck left the apartment and headed down to meet Hen who was waiting for him in her car, as he walked to the car he could feel her watching him walk and knew she wondering about his leg as he was walking funny due to the pain of the burn, once in the car he sat in the seat and didn't show that the seat on his back was hurting the bruise he had.

"You sure you should be working if your leg isn't good?" She asked

"I'm sure plus I have no doubt Bobby will have me doing so meaningless task just to amuse himself" Buck replied

"Give him time Buck you know how Bobby is deep down he cares for you as a son and doesn't want you to be at risk just enjoy the quiet time while you can you'll be soon there with us and the chaos it brings" she says to him

**_'Even now they still think I'm useless, there never going forgive me'_**

Once they got there buck headed in to the locker room hoping no one was there so he could get changed and no one would see the bruises or burn so he wouldn't have make up a lie of where they came from, Hen went upstairs and looked for Bobby who had watched them both come in

"Hey Bobby" Hen said as she walked up to him

"Hi Hen, how is he today?" Bobby asks as he points to Buck as they watch him go in to the locker room

"He's ok be better if you spoke to him yourself I bet" Hen replied

"You know I got to stick to my guns on this, in my eyes he is not ready to be working" he says

"I get that I do Bobby, but you can still talk to him he looks up to you and he seems so sad" she says

The rest of the team start walking in

"Hey Chim" says buck

"Hey Buck" chim replies

"Hey Eddie" Buck says

Eddie just looks at him and gets changed without a single word to Buck, as Buck watches Eddie he notices the bruises on his arms and knuckles and wants to ask but doesn't want cause another scene. Eddie just gives the occasional glare of pour hate when he looks at Buck but once he's done he picks up his jacket and walks out the locker room where once the door closes he was out he let a sigh out, he knows he needed to talk to him but every time he saw Buck he felt the hurt of the lawsuit and the hurt of being in love with him and unable to do anything and then the hurt he caused his son which was the worst of it all, but before he can think anymore he walks off to check supplies in the trucks to keep him busy

"Just give him time Buck" Chim says as he laces up his boots

"But how much time do I need give him Chim I miss having my best friend" Buck replies

"Look Buck you got remember some people won't forgive you so quick for what you did, me and Hen understand why you did it but some people don't" Chim states

"I get that it's just argh never mind , but where he get the bruises from on his arms and knuckles I didn't know you had any serious call outs last few days" Buck questions

"I hadn't noticed maybe I'll ask later when we get five" Chim replied

**_'If I was a better friend I would know if something was wrong with Eddie, I'm useless and selfish just like he said I was'_**

"Ok people here's your tasks for today, Buck you're staying here handing out candy to the kids and fire alarms to the adults" Bobby stated

"But Bobby im ready be out there with you" Buck states and everyone turns to look at Buck who just looks at Bobby willing him to say yes join the call he wants show them he can do it

**_'I know I'm not ready and in so much pain but I got man up and show im willing to do the work'_**

"No Buck my house my rules" Bobby says as he walks off and everyone gets to work the next few hours are long and tiring with the kids and parents coming in all dressed up for the occasion, normally Buck would love spending time with kids and talking to them and making silly jokes but with everything that was going on and the pain he was in he couldn't be bothered he just wanted to get them in and out as quick as possible and get the shift over and done with, as the night drew close he was packing up the table and candy and the left over smoke detectors

"Buck once you're done with that you can go" Bobby says

"Why I got ages left on my shift" Buck replies

"Well if you're going be out on call with us tomorrow I need you at your best which means a good night's sleep" Bobby said with a smile

Bucks face lit up he was so happy and couldn't wait for tomorrow and he packed up the table, he then text Aaron to say he would be done soon as he been able finish earlier than planned as we was going out on calls tomorrow and to come over to collect him, as he put his phone down Eddie walked past and just glared at Buck and it finally got to the point where Buck couldn't hold it in.

"So this is how it's going be you completely ignoring me" Buck says to Eddie

Eddie stops what he was doing and turns to Buck and looks at him

"No buck you don't get to play that card with me you're the one who screwed up and isolated yourself away from everyone with that stupid lawsuit and why because you wanted to be selfish, did you even think once what it would do to us having our personal problems been brought up in front of the hearing committee or having to relive it, or the fact that Christopher couldn't see you couldn't understand why yet again someone he cared for left him behind all because again you were been selfish" Eddie took a deep breath, Bobby heard the commotion and started to walk over but Hen stopped him

"They need to do this Bobby" Hen said and Bobby looked at her and agreed one way or another this needed to be hashed out and sorted and if it did get to out of hand he was ready to jump in but for now they both stood and watched

Buck was taken back at how Eddie was been so forward with how he felt towards Buck, he had put them through so much and it was unfair on them on Christopher but especially Eddie who he never wanted to hurt

**_'I have been so selfish I don't deserve all the kindness off the others, why have they been so nice to me when all I did was bring them hurt'_**

"Eddie I had no idea, im sorry I just wanted my job back and to be back with y.. I mean you guys as I missed you so much and you're all my family and we were strong together, I'll do whatever it takes to make this right but please Eddie forgive me" Buck pleaded

"Also what did your friend say to Chris to upset him so much that he won't tell me as he thinks you will hate him if he tells me" Eddie questions looking at Buck who is shocked at what Eddie has just said

"I don't know what you're on about Eddie I haven't seen Chris and which friend" Buck replies

"The one that was at the doctors yesterday with you when Chris came out he was there the nurse said he was saying stuff to Chris and then you both went" Eddie tells buck

"I have no idea Ed I was with you and he never said anything to me when we left and went to get coffee, but you know I'd never do anything to hurt Chris but I'll ask and find out what was said and put it all right with him I promise you know how much he means to me" Buck responded

"You always did wear your heart on your sleeve Buck and that's what I admire about you, I do forgive you but promise you won't do anything like this again" Eddie says

"Really" Buck says as he looks at Eddie with a smile on his face knowing he was getting his friend back

"Yes just don't let us down again" Eddie replies

"But what is with the bruises and don't say what ones I saw them earlier?" Buck asks

"Wrestling with Chris" Eddie states and before Buck can say anything back he walks up to him and gives Buck a big hug pulling him close but Eddie unknowingly brushes Bucks Bruises on his back and Buck held in the scream of pain he felt but enjoyed the hug as it was so familiar and he missed it.

"Am I interrupting" a voice from the front came

Buck looked in shock there stood Aaron and he didn't look impressed, Buck just looked at him not knowing what to do especially as he was just hugging Eddie, who he knew Aaron already didn't like from when he would talk about him at home, Aaron started to walk in to the firehouse

"Can I help" Bobby shouts over

"Im here for Buck im his lift back" Aaron stated

At this point Buck was worried what will be said and what could happen as he sees Eddie walking over to Aaron, Aaron stands and Eddie gets close at this point there near the front and everyone else is at the back by the locker room so they can't hear what is going on, Buck is worried something bad will happen but doesn't know what to do for the best if he picks Aarons side everyone will hate him if he picks there side Aaron will hate him

**_'I have pick Aaron he's been there for me so much and cares for me, whereas my so called friends can drop me just as quick like the last time as they don't care for me like he does'_**

"What did you say to my son" Eddie questions looking Aaron up and down

"And who is your son" Aaron remarked back just staring at Eddie

"The one the nurse saw you talking to yesterday at the doctors" Eddie replied

"Oh him" Aaron says as he leans in to whisper in his ear "you mean the pathetic cripple boy who was been nosy so I told him some home truths" Aaron smirked

That was it Eddie launched himself and jumped at Aaron but Bobby and Chim ran to them and dragged him off and Buck looked in horror he couldn't believe his so called friend would attack his boyfriend even though they didn't know that's who he was to see Eddie just attack for no reason was worrying enough

**_'Look at what I cause I'm a mess and I bring all the violence and sadness it's all me'_**

"Are all first responders so violent" Aaron said getting off the floor and dusting his legs, Buck starts walking up to them dreading what will happen next

"Eddie what are you doing" Buck shouted looking at him in horror who is this man he use call his best mate he was just pure anger

"Go on say it again see what happens" Eddie said staring straight at Aaron and completely ignoring Buck

"I didn't even say anything and then you attacked me like some crazy mad man" Aaron replied

"Are you ok Aaron" Buck said looking at Aaron checking him to make sure he wasn't injured

"Is he ok are fucking joking Buck, what kind of people do you hang round with? " Eddie snarled at Buck

"Hen, Chim take Eddie upstairs" Bobby said to them with this instruction they both grab an arm of Eddie and basically drag him to the stairs and make him walk up them as he climbs the stairs he can feel so much anger he then stands at the top looking down at Aaron and Buck

"Im sorry about all of this, are you a friend of Bucks?" Bobby asked

And then words Buck was not wanting to hear came out of Aarons mouth "no im his boyfriend so I guess all partners get attacked when they pick up there other half's from here" Arron explained but loud enough for everyone to hear, Bobby just looked at Buck and Bucks heart fell he didn't know what to do or where to look he just wanted out as quick as possible

"I I I wanted to tell you when I was ready im so not prepared for this" Buck says as he walks off to the locker room and Aaron chases after him

"Buck wait" Aaron says as he catches up and stops Buck

"Why, why did you say it I wanted to do it on my own terms?" Buck started saying as tears formed in eyes knowing it was out there now which meant everything was going be weird with everyone in work

**_'Everyone will hate me again because I didn't tell them and there going judge me for what's happened I hate it all'_**

"Im sorry but you saw what he did, you saw him attack before I could say anything and when they questioned me it just came out im sorry" Aaron explained grabbing hold of Bucks hand and holding it tight before pulling him in for a quick hug which Buck ended quickly as he felt uncomfortable

"It's done now "Buck said as he turned round to get his stuff from his locker when they walked out the locker room Bobby was waiting

He didn't say anything at first he just grabbed hold of Buck and hugged him, pulling him close again Buck tried not wince in pain from his injuries, Bobby released the hug so talk to him

"it's ok Buck, go home and we will talk tomorrow" Bobby said and he hugged him again and again Buck was in pain from his injuries but kept quiet and enjoyed the hug as the hug ended Buck reached for Aarons hand and they walked out he saw Hen and Chim waiting by the exit they had come down now that Eddie was upstairs with some other responders Buck looked to see where Eddie was worrying he would start again

"Don't worry he's upstairs he won't come down he is with the other responders" Hen said noticing Buck was worried she embraced him as Chim shook Aarons hand

"Nice to meet you" Chim Said

"Shame it had be like this "Aaron replied

"go home and we will talk tomorrow" Hen said as she stopped hugging him so Chim could hug him and as they focused their attention on Buck, Aaron turned round to look at Eddie who was watching them leave from upstairs and just smiled and winked at him which made Eddie angry even more, they then walked out and headed back home.

Meanwhile Eddie had gone to the fridge after watching them walk out feeling the anger of what Aaron said and then that cocky smirk and wink he wanted to bash his head in it then came back to him what Aaron had said he let out a angry scream and punched the fridge door leaving a dent and busting a knuckle open

"And what did the fridge do to you" Bobby asked looking at Eddie who was leaning against the fridge door

"Im sorry I know I need watch my temper it's just he got under my skin" Eddie said pushing off the fridge and looking at the blood coming from the cut on his knuckle

"What did he even do to you to get that kind of reaction off you from what I saw he said nothing? " Bobby quizzed walking towards the table

"He did he whispered it though, he's a clever prick I'll give him that" Eddie stated as he picked up a first aid kit form the cupboard

Bobby sat at the table and Eddie joined him so that Bobby could clean up the cut using the first aid kit

"So what did you think he said?" Bobby asked

"He called my son a pathetic cripple" Eddie said as he flinched when Bobby put some antiseptic cream over his cut before the bandage

"You sure" Hen said as she came up the stairs Chim following her up

"I wasn't close but it didn't even look like you gave him time answer before you jumped him, and Buck wouldn't be with someone who thought like that you know how much he loves Christopher he adores him" Hen explains as she fills a glass with water to get a drink

"Maybe your right" Eddie says looking down on the table, feeling embarrassed as he lost it in front of everyone but more importantly that he lost it like that in from of Buck

"Well let's get you home so you can get some stuff and you are staying with us tonight Eddie no arguments last thing I need is police telling me you went round to Bucks and cause more trouble that none of us want right now" Hen said

"What about Chris?" He asks worrying about his son

"He can have a sleepover with Denny and we can say you just fell asleep there so when he sees you in the morning he doesn't suspect anything and he doesn't need know what has happened" Hen says

"Ok I'll go get him from Carla and meet you at yours" Eddie says he goes down stairs to the locker room to get changed once he's changed he leaves to go get Chris driving through the roads gave him time think about what had happened and how he could have done things so much differently but it was too late and by the time he got to Carla's she was waiting for him at the front door and greets him with a poke to the stomach with her long nails

"What was that for" he says as he rubs his chest

"You're lucky it was a slap, what kind of idiot goes around attacking someone for no apparent reason but also in your place of work putting everything at risk, especially when that someone you attack is Buckaroos Boyfriend" She says

"You heard about what happened "He says as he looks down to the ground not wanting to look her in the eye

"Dam right I heard I was told to make sure you get to Hens so you don't get your ass in any more trouble, Chris is ready but he doesn't know anything just that he's staying at hens for the night and having a sleep over with Denny " Carla explains

"Thank you, I've blown it with him haven't I" Eddie says referring to Buck as he looks at Carla hoping she will make it all better by giving him some sage advice on how to fix everything

"All I know is you have a lot of grovelling to be a doing to Buck and Aaron, but how does this affect your feelings you know for how you feel for Buck?" Carla asks

"I am not grovelling to Aaron no way ill sort it with Buck but not him and it hasn't changed if anything it's made it worse as I feel like there's something wrong but I know for certain that Aaron is bad news " Eddie responds

"Or is it you don't like him because he has Buck and you don't" Carla said

"No I went for him before I knew who he was to Buck after he whispered about my pathetic cripple son" Eddie explains using air quotations

"so he was the guy from the Doctors, maybe I need have a word with Buckaroo and find out what is going on" Carla says

"He will deny it and I doubt Buck will say anything he seemed clueless when I questioned him and most likely will stick up for his boyfriend, anyway I best get to Hen before she comes looking for me" Eddie says laughing

With that he goes inside to go get his son who's sat there all ready and waiting to go

"Why am I having a sleep over at Denny's" Chris asks his farther he was a clever child and knew something wasn't right with his dad

"I just need sort some things out and Hen offered have you over for the night so I didn't worry about you" Eddie explained the thing is he did have things to sort just couldn't explain them to his son.

Eddie picks up his son and his backpack and leaves the house they both give Carla a hug and climb in to the truck and drive to Hens

In the car ride back Aaron tried speaking to Buck

"Im sorry it just come out" He tried to explain

"Its fine it was a weird situation I just don't understand why he would attack you like that, and what did you say to Chris yesterday at the doctors that's upset him so much?" Buck questioned

"I didn't say anything, you heard me say that when I told Eddie before he jumped me, don't you believe me?" Aaron said

"I do its just He wouldn't unintentionally attack someone, he's a kind and sweet guy" Buck says

"Oh so im not kind or sweet, I came to pick you up I get attacked and he's the kind and sweet one you always have his side don't you" Aaron looked at Buck

"No I was just saying" Buck replied

**_'Why did I say that I knew it would upset him, im useless'_**

They pull up at the apartments and head up to the apartment and walk in to the living room, where Buck falls on to the sofa just wanting to go sleep after a long day and with everything that has gone on tonight he doesn't want do anything he just wants go to sleep, he then feels a tap on his knee

"Come on time to cook food" Aaron says looking at him with a smile

"In a min im beat" Buck says unwillingly wanting to move off the sofa

"No! now after everything I've been through tonight it's the least you can do considering you caused it all as usual" and with that he grabs Buck by the arm and drags him up squeezing hard on Bucks forearm leaving a mark imprinted on his skin, but Buck doesn't say anything just walks over and starts cooking as Aaron receives a call on his phone and disappears upstairs to speak to whoever is on the phone whilst Buck cooks the food

**_'im so useless why can't I do anything right and make people happy, all I do is stupid things that anger people and make them hate me, no wonder he has to be so angry with me it's the only way he can get through to me and I deserve it'_**

After about 30 minutes Aaron walks down the stairs as Buck is finishing up cooking the food he made a quick curry with some rice as it was just a basic cook the meat add the sauce and made it easier on him not having to stand for so long.

"Smells well nice Buck" Aaron says as he walks over and kisses him on the cheek and rubs his back

"Thanks "Buck says as he dishes up the food on to plates as he carries over the plates and sets one down for Aaron and starts walking he trips (Aaron had stuck his foot out just enough to throw Buck off walking) and drops the plate and it smashes and the food goes everywhere and goes everywhere

"Why you drop it" Aaron shouts

"I didn't I tripped and it fell out my hand, I didn't mean "Buck started before been cut off

"to do it, the same line all the time isn't it and what magical thing did you trip on I see nothing there or you just making excuses" Aaron says as he watches Buck pick up the food and starts on the plate shards as he picks them up holding them in his hand he notices that Aaron stands up and walks over to him and Buck looks up

"Are you going help me? " Buck asks

"You mess you clean it up, but you need be taught a lesson" Aaron says staring down at Buck

"What you mean" Buck questions and with that Aaron presses his foot on to Bucks hand which has shards in it

"Please Aaron I'm so.." before he could finish it Aaron presses harder

"if you finish that word Ill really hurt you I've told you before about always saying sorry, why are you so pathetic I thought you were going man up and show me how good you are, I'm only doing this because you keep doing things wrong and letting me down is that what you want do let me down like you let everyone else down? do things right first time and I won't have do this" Aaron says as he releases the pressure on Bucks hand Buck drops the shards on the floor and blood starts to come down all he can do is look down he doesn't dare look up in fear of what could happen next, he looks at the shards of the white plate scattered on the flood tainted with the colour of his blood there's also blood dripping on to the floor mixing with the bits of curry he hadn't sorted.

"You best get it all cleaned up down want you staining the floor and we don't live in a barn" Aaron says as he picks the other plate up and looks at the food and then at Buck on the ground and smiles as he tips the plate so that the food falls off and all over Bucks head and smashes the plate as close to Buck as he can get it smirking the whole time.

Aaron disappears and Buck stands up looking shocked at what had just happened he walks to the side by the sink and gets a towel and wraps it round his hand so he can start cleaning the food off himself and then starts cleaning the floor once making sure its spotless and no mess is anywhere to be seen once it's all done and tidy he heads upstairs and gets in the shower to clean himself up and breaks down and starts crying as he cleans himself not knowing what to do he is broken.

**_' I deserve it all like he said if I did things right I wouldn't get in trouble I won't learn, im selfish just like Eddie said, no can't think about Eddie I'll get in more trouble I just need to make sure I do everything right' _**

Once he had finished showering and cleaned up he bandaged his hand and sorted the burn on his leg he could see the bruise on his chest still showing strong and the one on his back going a darker purple, as he got dressed and opened the door Aaron was stood there with a smile on his face and arms crossed

"You done a good job cleaning up Buck im proud of you" Aaron says

**_'He is proud of me I've done good see I can do good things I just need to be taught if I do it wrong and learn from my mistakes'_**

"Im sorry I did what I did but I did it because I love you Evan I really love you" Aaron said as he reached for Buck hand and started rubbing his arm

"You love me?" Buck said confused

"Yes silly, all I want is the best for us and for us to be happy don't you want the same?" Aaron asks

"Of course and I love you to" Buck says

**_'Someone actually loves me and doesn't hate me, he wants me to be with him and I want to be with him, he loves me I can't mess this up'_**

They went down stairs and watched TV Buck cuddled up to Aaron and fell asleep in his lap the pain killers he had taken to help the pain had worked and he was comfy, as Buck lay there sleeping away Aaron looked down at him and smirked he got his phone out his pocket and sent a text to someone saying the plan was going better that expected it should be all in hand soon and sent and smiled as he looked back down to Buck knowing the fun was just beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

As morning broke Buck awoke on the sofa where he had fallen asleep minus Aaron but his head rested on a pillow from the bed upstairs and a blanket over him, as he stretched and move the sharp pain of the burn which he had fallen asleep on hit and when he placed his hand down to help raise himself up he felt the pain from the cuts on his hand, he sat up and felt the twinge in his chest and the thump on his back from his bruises, he reached over to look at the time it was 7am he was due in work in the half hour

**_'I can't face them today it will be so awkward, I don't want people saying I'm making it all about me because everyone now wants to talk to me, they only want talk to find the gossip not to actually be my friend they all still hate me'_**

He opens up a new message to Bobby and texts he won't be able to come in due to his leg playing up so doesn't want to be a burden and put extra pressure on the team and sends it, he puts his head back on the sofa as he figures out what he will do when he eventually has to go back to work, he's going have face them at some point he knows Bobby, Hen and Chim will be fine its Eddie he's worried about after yesterday he saw a completely other side of him how could he be so wrong about him.

He hears movement upstairs and realises that Aaron must be waking up Buck decides to get up off the sofa and make a brew and some breakfast, as he's making the breakfast and coffee his phone goes off it's a text from Bobby it says that he understands and not to worry about anything, and that they can chat when he's back in. Buck sighs in relief knowing he hasn't got to face anyone today he places the breakfast on a tray and carries it up the stairs taking his time as his leg hurts a bit when he gets to the top and walks over Aaron is still in bed but awake and looks at Buck

"You didn't have make me breakfast babe" he says as he takes hold of the tray and places it on the bed and pulls Buck in for a kiss stroking his cheek as they lock lips, buck breaks the kiss to speak

"I know but I wanted to, try and make up for the mess I've caused you and us these last few days" he says as he sits on the bed with Aaron

"Was the sofa ok? I wanted to wake you but you looked so peaceful and I know you hadn't been sleeping so good recently so I just brought a pillow and blanket down for you" Aaron explains as he starts eating the food

"It was ok and to be honest I must have needed it as I didn't wake until about 20 minutes ago so thanks" Buck replies smiling at Aaron

**_'I'm so lucky to have him'_**

"Shouldn't you be on way work?" Aaron quizzes Buck

"No I messaged Bobby about not coming in today as my leg was hurting don't worry it's not hurting but didn't want face the barrage of questions I know I will be subjected to once I get in, I just need a day or two to process it all" Buck says as he looks at Aaron

"I don't blame you babe, the people there are no good for you at all!, all they want do is make you there bitch and ignore you once you've done what they need, but now because you have some gossip they will talk to you and seem interested in what you're saying building your hopes up but then drop you once they got the information off you" Aaron explains

**_'He's right why would he lie he loves me, and they haven't spoke to me much at all just when it pleases them'_**

"When was the last time they went out as a group?" he asks Buck, already knowing he hasn't been out in ages with them

"Just the other day I saw it on Facebook" Buck replies

"You never said I would have said go out and enjoy yourself with them bit of team bonding m..." Aaron started talking but Buck cut him off

"They haven't invited me out to anything in a long time I just see it on Facebook or Instagram" he looks down on the bed

"Doesn't that show they don't really care for you at all if they don't invite you out, but I'm shocked your sister doesn't have anything to say about it all after all she is your sister and should have your back shouldn't she?" Aaron asks as he finishes off the coffee

"She is with Chim so she's in a hard place with it all" Buck explained but deep down he knew his sister wasn't impressed with it all even after their lunch out the other day he could still tell she wasn't happy about what he had done, more about the facts he had given the sleazy lawyer who then used it but she got the whole reason he sued

"You don't need them in your life, all you need is people who love you like I do Buck no one else matters and sod the rest of them you saw how quick Eddie attacked me what's stopping him from doing it to you, my answer is distance yourself from them only do what you need to at work and that's it otherwise they will rope you in and hurt you again when they drop you" Aaron says as he gets up to go get ready for work

**_'he's right all I've done is try win them over and I don't need to now I have Aaron and that's all I need sod the lot of them from now on its just him and me and our love'_**

"What you got planned with your day of freedom?" Aaron asks

"Im so drained for everything I just want go back bed so may try getting a few more hours kip" Buck replies

"Ok, sounds like a good idea, but don't forget there's stuff that needs doing round the house so don't sleep to long will you" Aaron shouts from the bathroom smile on his face as he runs the water in the sink for a shave.

"Yeah ill get the jobs sorted later and maybe go out for a walk try stretching my leg" Buck says

"Who with?" Aaron asks

"Just myself not like anyone else would want walk with me is there" He says looking down on to the bed

"Very true no one cares for you like I do I mean if they were real friends they would have come round last night or even try call you but they didn't so that says it all, told you best thing do is just talk to them as a work colleague that's all they are now they don't want to be your friend" Aaron states and the sound of water be used came from the bathroom as he started shaving

**_'he's right if they cared like they said they would have turned up last night or even this morning or at least tried ring, Booby only said about talking after I had text him they do hate me, but Aarons right I don't need them I have him'_**

"you are right" Buck responds as he gets up and picks the tray up a knife falls and lands on the bed sheet, Buck realises its left a mark on the bed and covers it with the duvet

"I'll deal with it later" he talks to himself not realising he said it out loud

"What did you say" Aaron says as he walks out the bathroom

"oh nothing just talking to myself lack of sleep finally catching me up even after lasts night sleep" Buck jokes and walks up to Aaron kisses him on the lips and walks down the stairs to clean up from making breakfast, once at the sink he feels relief he hadn't been caught making a mess and that he managed lie his way out when questioned as he was doing the dishes Aaron had come down putting his shoes on and looking in the mirror to do his tie

"Come help me do the tie im no good at them" Aaron speaks to Buck

"Ok" Buck responds drying his hands completely before moving up to Aaron and grabbing hold of the tie

"What kind of man doesn't know how to do a tie" Buck jokes as he kisses Aarons cheek

"I can just want you close to me" Aaron says as he pulls Buck in for a kiss they share I long passionate kiss for a while and Buck pulls away and chucks the tie round his neck and starts doing it up, while Aaron kisses him putting him off

"Stop it or it won't go on straight" Buck joked as he finally got Aaron still and did the tie up once done he hugged him and could smell the aftershave on Aaron

"have a good day at work" Buck says as he starts walking to the kitchen to finish the dishes, he looks at the clock its 8am plenty of day left to do things he thinks to himself, as he walks he feels a smack on his bum cheek not hard just a playful smack

"Till later babe" Aaron said with a wink and Buck smiled to him as he heard the door close he continued to do the dishes, as Aaron starts walking down the hall to the lift he sees it open and there in the lift is Carla but also Chris, he continues to walk down the hall towards them and Chris sees Aaron and moves behind Carla

"What's up hun" she asks

"Nothing just moving out the way so people can get past" Chris responds

"So courteous aren't you" she says smiling at him and then she notices Aaron walking towards them and wonders what he wants

"Hey your Carla right?" he asks her knowing already

"Yeh and your Aaron Bucks boyfriend so I believe" she says as she looks the tall man up and down

"The one and only" he says in a cocky tone "if your after buck he has gone out and won't be back till later and even then we have plans so don't want to be disturbed" Aaron explains knowing full well Buck is in the apartment, Carla looks at him and then down to Chris who doesn't look happy at what he just heard

"Oh Bobby told us he was off as his leg was hurting so I thought we would come cheer him up especially after everything that's gone on" she explains

"Why? You haven't bothered with him for weeks and now all of a sudden you find out about me and him and you want come round to get the gossip to be honest I think it's a bit rude, why don't you just leave him and us to process everything that happened yesterday and I'll get him to call you" Aaron states to Carla who just looks at him, Chris tugs on

"You ok?" she asks

"Let's just go ill see my Bucky another time" Chris replies

"He isn't your Bucky he's mine" Aaron snaps at Chris

"oi, Back off he's just a kid" Carla says as she gets in Aarons face, he just laughs in her face and she turns and holds Chris hand and walks towards the lift Aaron stands there smirking and watches them enter the lift and as the doors close he winks at her and the door closes he walks up to lift and waits a few minutes and presses to go down once he gets in and walks up the car he sees Carla and Chris driving off Chris crying and laughs.

In the car Carla calls Eddie and explains what has happened and that they were ok and that Chris was upset, she said she will text Buck later and see what he reply's with but she agreed with Eddie Arron was no good

Back in the apartment Buck is busy cleaning up the kitchen and cleaning downstairs, once he's done he sits on the sofa feeling tired and nods off for a few hours and wakes up at 3pm again lying on the sofa, he reaches over and sees he has missed calls of Aaron and a text from Carla he reads the text from Carla which states while he's with Aaron she won't be round to see him, Buck looks at it and tears form why was she been like that, he doesn't reply just selects Aarons number and calls him

"About time" Aaron says answering the phone he did not sound impressed

"Yeah after cleaning the bottom floor of the apartment I fell asleep on the sofa again" Buck explained

"That's ok at least I know the Apartment will be clean later" Aaron says

"Will be once I do upstairs, still haven't been on my walk yet" Buck replies

"Well can you head to that little deli and pick me up some things when you go on your walk ill text you a list and ill cook tonight" Aaron says hatching another plan

"erm can do but will have go now as they shut at 5 and its 3pm now and a good 30 – 45 min walk with my bad leg" Buck answers

"ok just take it easy when you walk don't want you over doing it too much" Aaron says with a concerned tone

"I won't plus gives me time to process the fact Carla text me" Buck says

"What did she say?" Aaron wondered just in case he had think of something fast

"That while im with you she won't be round see me" Buck tells Aaron to which a smile appears on his face

"well its obvious who's side she is on and been listening to isn't it I told you they didn't want know you, there trying split us up just so you can be all on your own again" Aarons states

"Your right" Buck responds "anyway I best head off to the deli text me the list" Buck says

"will do, I love you" Aaron responds and hangs up, Buck gets up and starts getting his shoes on and places his jacket on he hears a text its Aaron with his list of food he wants

**_'everyone hates me and now there forcing me to choose between love and friendship which they can drop me the second I end it with Aaron and he won't have me back, I can't lose his love'_**

Buck heads to the shops and gets there just before 4pm while he shops and picks up the ingredient's he hears a familiar voice walk in, its Athena he knew he didn't want to speak to her and listen to her go on about how everyone was and then try find the gossip out about his boyfriend

**_'All she will want is the gossip she doesn't care for you'_**

With this in his head he kept out of sight until she left the building and watched her dive away

"Hiding from the police that's never a good sign" a voice from behind the checkout came

"Yeah sorry I just know here and don't want see her" Buck replied

"well as long as you don't rob me im cool with it haha" The clerk joked and Buck walked up to pay for his items as he walked home he was enjoying been able be out in the fresh air stretching his leg till he heard sirens coming from behind he turned to see a fire truck speeding up the road it was the 118, he didn't want them to see him so he turned his back till they went past once they had passed he continued to the apartment it was just after 5pm when he got in with all the stopping he had to do to stretch his leg, he set the bags down and started putting the food away as he did he felt something hit his back right where the bruise was

"owww" he screamed in pain

He turned round to see Aaron there and he didn't look happy, when buck looked down at what had been thrown at him he saw the tv remote for the stereo system upstairs, he took a step back to balance himself against the side

"I come home early to surprise you as I knew you be out at the shops and what do I come back to a mess up here I thought you said you were cleaning it" Aaron snarled at Buck

"Im sor… I forgot as I had get to the shops before it closed" Buck said stopping himself from saying the word he knew would get him in more trouble

"Not good enough and why did you lie this morning to me?" Aaron questions him

"I didn't lie" Buck replies

"so when you said to yourself you will deal with it later and moved the duvet cover over the stain and I asked what you said and you were talking to yourself from lack of sleep you were lying I watched you the whole time" he says as he walks down towards Buck, as Aaron gets close to Buck he takes his belt off from his suit

"If there's one thing I hate its liars" Aaron said as he grabbed Buck and moved him to the sofa , he bent him over so his bum was facing Aaron and the next thing Buck knew was he felt a stinging pain go across the left cheek and then the right Aaron was lashing him with his belt

"Please stop im sorry im really sorry I didn't want disappoint you" Buck lets out between his screams

"what have I told you about using that word you pathetic excuse of a man, I thought you had learnt you less on but obviously not" Aaron states as he lashes Buck a further 5 times across his bum making each one harder than the one before once he stops he picks up Buck who has tears rolling down his face and turns him round to face him

"You understand why I did that don't you, it's because I love you and want you be a better man" Aaron says as he embraces Buck in a hug and kisses his cheek and wipes away the tears

**_'run you fool he will hurt you again and again, I can't I love him plus it's my fault for lying and using the word sorry if I had just done what I said I would it wouldn't have happened it's because im useless and I have no one else'_**

"I know and I'll be a better man I promise" Buck says as he hugs Aaron, after a bit Aaron lets go and walks over to the kitchen where he starts getting the food out and preparing tea

"You done good Buck, everything I need is here" Aaron says as he looks at Buck "why don't you go get the upstairs all sorted and cleaned and tea will be ready in a bit" Aarons says

"Ok" Buck says as he struggles to walk up the stairs his leg hurting and back aching and the stinging pain on his bun cheeks he heads to the bathroom to start cleaning and stops so he can look at his bum he peels his jeans and boxers down to see the belt marks across his cheeks and lets out a gasp

**_'Remember you deserved this use it as a reminder to be good from now on'_**

He pulls them up and continues to clean once the bathroom is done he walks in to the bedroom and to the cupboard to get a new duvet set and swaps it over he then takes the dirty duvet downstairs to put it in the washing machine as he walks down he sees Aaron in the kitchen cooking food, he walks to the washing machine and puts it on, as he turns Aaron is there

"Taste" He says Buck leans forward and tastes the food on the spoon and smiles

"Tastes good" Buck says and an Aaron smile back and kisses him on the cheek and walks back to the pot and starts stirring getting the food ready

"Want set the table please Buck" Aaron asks

Buck walks over and gets the plates and sets them as well as the cutlery and drinking glasses, once set Aaron plates up and puts it down they both start eating

"How was work?" Buck asks

"It was good babe better now im home with you as I missed you so much" Aaron responded

**_'He missed you see he cares for you so much, you can't keep letting him down you will lose him to'_**

"missed you to" Buck said and they carried on eating have idle chat about random things once they finished Buck got up and started clearing you, Aaron came up behind him as he did the dishes and started hugging and kissing Bucks neck

"Stop it im trying to clean up, maybe later "Buck Says as he turns round to look at Aaron

"ok then" Aaron said with sad look on his face and he walked over to the sofa to put tv and started to watch what ever came on whilst Buck continued to clean up the dishes after the dishes he cleaned the table and moved the clean duvet out the washing machine in to the dryer, once all that was done he looked dover and saw Aaron still watching the tv so got a glass of water to take some pain killers as he was in a lot of pain but didn't want show it

**_'Must be strong, must not be week, man up'_**

He looked at the clock in the kitchen it was now 8:15pm where had the time gone he thought to himself and slowly walked over to the sofa to sit with Aaron and watch tv, as he sat down he could feel the pain on his bum but didn't show anything as he didn't want Aaron to start again saying he was weak he wanted to prove he had maned up,

"What do you want watch" Aaron asks looking at Buck

"Not fussed, stick a film on and we can chill out till bed time" Buck replies as Aaron starts flicking through the channels he runs he hand through Bucks hair Buck looks at him

"Im lucky to have you, I love you" Buck says

"I love you to im so happy im with you" Aaron replies and finds a channel with a film on they sit and watch it and Buck starts to nod on the sofa

"come on bed time" Aaron says and turns the tv off he gets up and holds his hand up for Buck to hold as he pulls him up in to his grasp of a hug and then a kiss as they kiss Aaron runs his down bucks body and tugs at his shirt

"Not tonight" Buck says as he breaks the kiss and looks at Aaron

"Do you not find me attractive anymore is that it" Aaron spits out

"no nothing like that far from it think your hot just not feeling it tonight with the pain killers in me" Buck explains

"But I bet if it was Eddie you wouldn't say stop" Aaron says

"What no I don't like Eddie like that, where did you even get that from "Buck replies shocked at the remark

**_'Can't let him know I do want Eddie like that he won't be happy if say it'_**

"I saw the way you looked when he hugged you the other day, I guess im just second best even to someone who hates you, where as I love you" Aaron starts

"I know you love me and you are second best to no one, im just not in the mood like I said" Buck replies and Aaron pulls off him and storms upstairs

"Im Sorry" Buck shouts before he realises he said that word and starts to panic on what will happen

**_'How could I be so stupid I promised to be good and man up and I break the promise he's going leave me as im useless'_**

Buck starts to walk up the stairs and looks for Aaron who isn't anywhere in the bedroom, and walks to the bathroom thinking he's in there as he gets close he feels something hit his head and he starts going dizzy

"what did I say to you about saying that word you never learn" Aaron said as he pulls on Bucks shirt so he falls on to the bed, he climbs on top of Buck and pins his arms down to the mattress as he kisses Bucks neck

"Please Aaron stop I'll be good I promise" Buck pleads

"You will do once im through teaching you a lesson" Aaron smirks as he puts Bucks hands under his knees while he gets his tie once he has the tie in hand he takes Buck left hand and wraps the tie around it and then round the bar above the head and the takes the right hand and does the same and ties it tight so Buck can't move his hand he then starts kissing Bucks neck again his hand rubbing up and down Bucks body he starts ripping the shirt off and throws the tattered shirt to the side of them as he kisses Bucks body

"Please Aaron stop I don't want to please NO" Buck pleads nut is cut off when Aaron gags him with his shirt

"Be a good boy and it can be over soon, I love you buck I just want to show you how much I love you" Aaron whispers in to his ear

Aaron climbs of top of him and then off the bed and goes in to the bathroom Buck tries to move his hands but no joy he's tied to the bed, Aaron walks in to the bedroom smiling at buck he positions something on the side but Buck can't see what it is, Aaron smiles at him and walks up to him as he undoes Bucks jeans and pull both his jeans and boxers down at once

"Well aren't you a sexy boy" Aaron says looking at Buck who can't say anything back as he is gagged up but can see the tears in his eyes, with that Aaron climbs on top and starts kissing Bucks neck again and rubbing his down his body,

"im going enjoy this and so will you Bucky" Aaron says and with that he moves to the lower end of the bed and starts to penetrate him but when Buck squirms to try and stop him Aaron grabs hold of the legs and squeezes them till Buck stops but as soon as he stops squeezing Buck tries again this time Aaron smacks him on the burn on his leg and this stops Buck in his track as tears pour down from his eyes from the sheer pain, Aaron carries on without a care in the world how much he's hurting Buck, smacking his already marked bum cheeks and gripping on his legs leaving hand marks there, once Aaron has finished he comes up and kisses Buck on the forehead as he unties the tie from round his hands and gets up to walk to the bathroom

"never knew you were in to that kind of kinky thing Buck diffidently a first for me but I enjoyed it" He says as he picks up the object off the side which was Aarons mobile and he presses stop on the recording smiling as he walks in to the bathroom and gets in the shower to clean up, back in the room Buck doesn't dare move he just rolls over pulls the cover over himself and starts to cry thinking about what happened

**_'look what you caused just because you couldn't learn to keep your promise to him but I said no I didn't want to so why didn't he stop, he loves you and you wouldn't show it to him how else is he meant know you love him if you don't show it to him'_**

As Aaron comes back in and gets in to bed Buck closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep after a while he can hear Aaron soft snores and climbs out the bed and goes in to the bathroom he's aching all over he quietly cleans himself up, after which he looks in the mirror and thinks to himself

**_'tomorrow I start new I won't let him down ill show him how much I care for him and how much I love him, I can't lose him to because of how selfish I am'_**

Once he has cleaned up and got some pjs on he climbs back in bed and falls asleep, not knowing how he would explain the bruises if someone sees them at work he would have find a way of getting changed without anyone seeing them


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after Buck sits up in bed as daylight hits the apartment he hadn't slept much and didn't know what to do but he had decided first things first is go and make breakfast he walks down the stairs and starts making food he looked at his phone and still no messages

**_'No one cares for you, all you have is Aaron and you're going end up losing him if you aren't careful, im such a useless idiot'_**

He thought about texting Bobby and saying that he wasn't going go in but he decided he would have to bite the bullet and go in and face the onslaught of questions from people who just want the gossip and not because they care for him.

As he finishes making breakfast he jumps when a hand brushes across his shoulder and turns his head to see Aaron stood there behind him smiling at him

"Morning beautiful" Aaron says as he leans and kisses Buck on the cheek

"You're not mad at me for last night" Buck asks

"Why would I be mad with you silly" Aaron asks

Buck is confused he was expecting to be shouted at but he didn't dare question it to start an argument he was tired, both physically and mentally drained, he plated the plates and they sat down to eat breakfast

"What time you due on your shift?" Aaron asks looking at Buck who is only pushing his food round on the plate instead of eating as he has no appetite

"On at 10am today till 10pm but at least I'll get to go out on calls today" Buck said with a tiny smile

"They actually going let you go out or did they say that to get your hopes up again and keep you on the right side of them" Aaron asks

"No Bobby promised I could" Buck replied, Aaron just looked at him then continued to eat his food once finished he got up and put the dish in the sink he looks at Buck

"How are you getting to work?" He questions

"Ermm I don't know I think I'll have drive, which shall be fun" Buck replies

"No Chance not with how your leg is, I can take you im not due in till 12 having half day then got meeting with a big client later so I might not be able pick you up, but suppose you could ask one of your colleagues for lift" Aaron says

"Thanks and I doubt they will give me a lift if you can't get me I'll get a taxi back its fine I'll go get ready and I'll do dishes and clean when I get home later" Buck says as he scrapes the food in to the bin and puts the plate in the sink and wanders upstairs to get changed, Aaron watches him walk up the stairs once buck is out of sight he gets his phone out to send a message it reads, sent the video you asked the dumb fool has no clue to what is really going on, ill meet you later and we can plan our next move but I think it's time we bring it to the end he's broken and everyone hates him but I think one or two people may suspect something but can't be sure, he sends the message and drinks his coffee as he smiles to himself.

Upstairs Buck is getting changed taking care while he changes as he's sore pretty much everywhere everything hurts his body has marks all over in different forms of colour, once he gets his clothes on he walks down and Aaron is waiting with a drink for him to drink in the car, the drive to the station was ok Aaron was explaining what he was doing in his meeting which was a lie as he hadn't got one Buck just answered in the correct places he could feel his anxiety building as they got closer to the firehouse

**_'Don't let him see you been weak, you promised you would be better remember stop been so useless'_**

As they pulled up to the firehouse Buck could see Bobby and Chim talking and then Eddie pulling up in his truck next to them as he got out and walked past Aaron's car he looked over at Buck and didn't say anything his stomach turned when he saw Aaron kiss buck on the lips .

"I'll see you later babe" Aaron said and gave Buck another kiss, Buck got out of the car as he got out Eddie just stared at Aaron and Aaron smiled at him and gave him a wink before driving off once Buck had closed the door, Eddie glared at Aaron as he drove off

"Why you with that prick" Eddie shouts at Buck in the hopes he would get some form of reaction from him

Buck ignores him and walks off in to the fire house and straight to the lockers, Bobby stops Eddie following him to the lockers seeing that no good would come from them two been in the same room at the moment

"Let's give him a minute last thing I need right now is to have break another fight up, ok" Bobby says giving Eddie the look

"Ok boss I just need know what's going on with him while he's not around that werido I may actually get some proper answers out him instead of him ignoring me, I promise I won't shout" Eddie says hoping Bobby will let him pass

"Later I need talk to him first ok" Bobby states

They carry on talking between themselves and Chim joins in, whilst back the locker room Buck stands at his locker hands shaking and his chest thumping he was so nervous and didn't want to be there

**_'Stop been a wuss man up, do you want lose Aaron, no well man up'_**

Buck clenches his fish and holds it till they stop shaking only to realise he forgot about the bandaged hand which starts hurting, he can see people coming so quickly gets changed even though it hurt he didn't want anyone seeing the bruises, he decided to wear his long sleeve shirt as well so no one could see the one on his wrist he managed get all done just as Hen walked in to the lockers

"Hey Buck you ok?" She asks

"Hey yeah im ok" he replied normally he would ask how the whole of Hens family but the words from Aaron were in his head to keep professionals as there not his friends

"Are you sure? What's wrong with your hand do you want me look at it?" she asked hoping get abit more out of him

"No im more than capable to look after a cut ok" Buck responds and slams his locker shut and walks out past a shocked Hen, he then sees Eddie walking towards the lockers as he is walking out

"Hey Buck wait a min can we talk" Eddie asks

"oh now you want talk Eddie well guess what I don't, I will be professional and talk to you about work stuff but far as im concerned were works colleagues nothing more ok and from now on its Buckley to you only friends can call me BUCK" Buck says as he walks off upstairs to get a coffee, Eddie is shell shocked at what just happened and didn't understand where the outburst had come from as just the other day Buck was trying win his friendship back, he didn't know what to do so he walked in to the locker room where Hen was

"Did you hear what he just said" Eddied asks Hen

"Sure did but can't blame him the way we have all been treating him lately and especially after well you know the other day and you attacking his boyfriend" Hen said

"Yeah wasn't my greatest move was it" Eddie says as he starts to get ready he could feel the anger building up and ends up punching the locker

"Whoa Eddie what's wrong?" Hen says as she walks over and grabs Eddie by the arm and Eddie looks her in the eyes and she can see something is up and its more than Bucks Boyfriend she starts thinking about all the nights and how close they were and it clicks with her

"Come on tell me what is up, I can tell you know" Hen Says

"Am I that obvious?" He says

"well up to just now no not really, but with how angry you are just off him not wanting to speak to you it made me think, are you in love with Buck?" she asks not knowing if she had crossed the line by asking such a question, she looked at Eddie and he couldn't look her in the eyes, in the corner of her eyes she could see Bobby coming over so she signalled for him to stay away he turned round stood outside the locker room to stop anyone else coming in.

"Yeh but now he's with someone I know is wrong for him and I can't prove it and just look at what happened just that's not Buck that's someone else" he says as tears form and Hen grabs him into a hug

"it's ok let's all we can do is just play along and see what happens" Hen says and to be honest she didn't really know what else to say she noticed it herself the way Buck was but she thought wait till Bobby speaks and it could all change, she let him go

"Does he know that you like men?" She asks

"No and I thought he was straight how could I have been so stupid not to notice I've made such a mess of it all and lost my chance not just mine but Chris as well as Chris adores him "Eddie says

"Not just you both have you have, best get ready we start in a min" she says as she hugs him one last time and walks out and speaks to Bobby

"How is he?" Booby asks

"Which one?" Hen asks not sure who cap was on about

"Start with Eddie" he replies

"He will be ok just feel stupid about the whole thing and how it's gone down I've told him we just got play along and see what happens" she replies

"And Buck" He asks dreading the answer

"To be honest cap im leaving that to you in my eyes he's changed and I can understand why especially how we have been and then the whole Eddie thing but there's more I just know but he wouldn't say" she explains

"Ok thanks Hen" Bobby says as he goes to the stairs and walks up to see Buck sitting there just staring in to his cup Hen was right there was definitely something wrong but he couldn't put his fingers on it as he walked up to him Buck looked at him

"Hi Captain" he said

"No need to be so formal Buck lets go have a chat in my office" Bobby says as he pints towards the stairs

"Ok but its Buckley not Buck" Buck says as he walks past Bobby heading to the stairs as he walks down the stairs Buck can see Eddie Chim and Hen all talking and they stop as he walks past and sees Eddie about to talk but turns and carries on walking so they can't talk to him and just goes straight in to Bobby's office, once in Bobby closes the door and sits down

"How are you?" He asks buck

"Im great ready to go out on calls today" he states with a smile on his face

**_'Can't wait show Aaron how strong I am even when im in such pain I must be strong mustn't I?'_**

"About that Buckley you aren't going out today I feel with everything that's gone on it be too risky for yourself and the team to put you in the field" Bobby says and he can see the smile on Bucks face disappear and the look of resentment take over his face

"You promised me Captain, you stood there and said I could go out, and now because Eddie attacks my boyfriend im been benched how is that fair? If anything Eddie should be benched no me" Buck starts and stands up from the chair he was sat in

"SIT Buckley" Bobby says in a semi loud voice

Buck drops in to the seat and winces in pain as he sat funny and caught one of the many injuries he was keeping hidden

"Yeah I promised but im concerned not only as your captain but as your friend that you are not ready and I don't want anything to happen to you so you will stay here and get the chores done and that's that and yes Eddie was in the wrong for attacking your boyfriend but he hasn't been injured like you have and I want make sure your 100% ready" Bobby says and gets up and walks to the door

"You can leave Buckley" He says as his hands gestures to the door

Buck stands up and looks at Bobby "yes sir" and walks out

**_'See Aaron was right they just build you up to knock you down they hate you they all do as your weak and useless'_**

Buck heads out and heads towards the kitchen to awaits his chores list as he walks towards the stairs he sees everyone staring at him

"Next time eh" Chim says but Buck just ignores him and carries on up the stairs once up he sits down he gets his phone out to message Aaron he tells him he was right and that they have kept him in the fire station and puts his phone back in his pocket, Bobby comes up and gives Buck the list of things that needs doing as he looks at the list the alarm goes off and they all go off leaving Buck to get on with his jobs

**_'Pathetic aren't I, not even aloud on calls because im useless'_**

As he walks round cleaning up and packing things away and getting through his list he didn't hear someone come up the stairs

"Keeping you busy I see" the familiar voice hit Bucks ears it was Athena there she stood in her uniform looking at him through her sunglasses

"I think we need a little chat don't you" She says as she takes her glasses off and sits down

"What about Sgt, im pretty busy and I don't need Cap on my case" he says

"Oh don't you worry about Bobby he won't tell you off" she says giving a smile to him he reluctantly sits down and awaits the grilling that's about to come

She sits and looks at Buck she can tell something is diffidently off and her husband was right in getting her to come and chat to him if anyone can get through to him it was her

"So Buck where shall we start" looking at Buck who can't even look her in the eyes

**_'this is the time, you need come clean and tell her the pain you're in and what's been happening, come clean she will help, no I can't I love Aaron and cant loose him he's the only one who loves me who will love me if I do tell, NO ONE'_**

"come on, stop thinking and just spurt it out Buck if you want it stay between me and you, you know I will keep it between us" Athena says

"There's nothing wrong Athena just no one here can forgive me so I've decided to be professional and just do my job then go home" Buck replied

"Ok but you know everyone cares for you, but you know im here if you ever need to chat ok, so who is this new man that's on the scene?" Athena quizzes

"His name is Aaron we met after I had my hearing about the lawsuit and we hit it off" Buck starts to speak smiling as he talks

"He treating you good though Buck because if he isn't you know how protective I am of my babies" She says smiling at him

"Im not one of your babies and he treats me good" Buck smiles back

"Oh Buckaroo your always be one of my babies don't you ever think otherwise both me and Bobby adore you" She says

**_'She's lying she just wants you to mess up your relationship with Aaron so that you have no one like he said they would try to do'_**

"Thank you it means a lot" he smiles and they sit in silence for a minute until it's broken by the radio on Athena's shirt going off requesting assistance

"Well looks like im back to it I'll see you later Buck" she says as she gets up, Buck also gets up and walks over and she gives him a hug which he flinches and Athena looks at him

"What's the matter Buck?"

"Nothing I twisted my back the other night so it playing up im ok till I get a hug or move to quick" he lies quickly

"As long as you get it checked out if it still hurts" Athena says and she walks off walking down the stairs and out of the building, Buck turns around and starts to get more work done whilst he cleaning the crew come back they all come upstairs and start to eat so Buck moves down stairs to start resupplying the trucks mainly so he can keep out the way of everyone but as he fills the truck up he feels a hand touch his shoulder and he jumps

"What the hell you doing sneaking up on me" He says to Eddie

"Well it the only way I can get close to you without you walking off, can we talk please" Eddie said looking at Buck with his big puppy dog eyes

"to be honest Eddie no, we had our chance to patch everything up and start again and the first thing you do is attack my boyfriend in front of everyone which leads to everyone finding out about me, do you know how humiliated I felt, I was picking my time to tell everyone and it was taken away from me and what for tell me what was so bad you had to attack someone in front of everyone, im guessing you been getting into a lot of fights with that kind of anger, I've seen the bruises on your arms explains alot" Buck says as he walks off from Eddie not wanting to hear the reply

"Buck Wait" Eddie shouts but it's too late he walked off and sorting something else out Eddie turns and see Hen waiting at the bottom of the steps she holds her hand out

"come on let's get food, you can try before the end of his shift he may listen" Hen says as they walk up and Eddie turns to watch Buck walking round moving things and cleaning, they sit down but the alarm goes off so they all rush out and as they drive out Eddie just stares at Buck and buck turns off and walks back in and starts cleaning up the mess they leave, it gets near the end of Bucks shift the rest of the team is still out he goes down and gets changed ready to go as it gets to 10pm he sees Aaron pull up as he walks out the locker room to go and meet Aaron the crew turn back up, he waits till they pull so he can leave as the trucks are reversing and he doesn't want to get in the way

"Buck before you go can I just say" Eddie tries to speak

"No Eddie will you just take the hint and leave me alone will you, you have done enough" Buck snaps at Eddie

"Just wanted to say your always welcome at mine no matter what and Chris is dying to see you especially after the other day when he came round with Carla but Aaron said you had gone out" Eddie says

"you lie no one came round I was in and Aaron would have told me you're just trying mess up my relationship because you don't like Aaron, just go Eddie" Buck says as he walks out and gets in the car

"You ok Babe?" Aaron asks

"Yeh you were right all they want do is befriend me, let's go home" Buck says as he closes his eyes and rests his head against the window, as they drive off Aaron just looks at Eddie and winks, he knows he has Buck and he won't leave him, the drive home was quiet at Buck had fallen asleep as they got home Buck lumbered in and went straight to sorting the cleaning he said he would do earlier as he's cleaning Aaron is upstairs and Buck can hear a lot of banging

"You ok up there" He shouts up

"Yeah just looking for my suitcase" Aaron shouts down

"Why you need your suitcase?" Buck asks confused

Aaron comes to the top of the stairs and looks down to Buck

"I've got go away for a week with work I have a couple of meetings out of the state and if I can get them means big money I know it last minute but I can't pass the opportunity" Aaron explains

Buck looks up and looks dishearten realising he was going be left on his own for a while

"When will you be back?" Buck asks

"Round the 13th November" Aaron replies

"That's over a week, can I come with you?" Buck asks as he really doesn't want be on his own for that long

"I thought you be glad be rid of me for a while to be honest but as much as I would love to have you with me I can't, but when I get back how about we look at holidays and get an escape away" Aaron asks

"That sounds perfect" Buck replies

"Will you be ok while im gone?" Aaron asks

"Yeh I'll be fine I promise just call me so I can talk to someone "Buck asks

"Of course babe I love you" Aaron says as he blows him a kiss

**_'Even he's had enough of you and needs a break away from you useless fool'_**

He finishes off the dishes and gets tea all served up and plated and waits for Aaron to come down as he comes down he brings his suitcase and leaves it by the door

"When do you go?" Buck asks

"First thing in the morning" Aaron replies

"oh" Buck says looking sad and Aaron walks over and rubs Bucks shoulders and kisses his cheek then sits down to eat as they eat they don't really talk Buck is just thinking of how he's going be all alone from tomorrow

"Im sure you will be fine Buck, you can man up about been alone for a week can't you" Aaron asks

"I Can" Buck replies as he finishes of the food on the plate, once he finishes he gets up and picks up Aarons and starts cleaning with it been so late they head to bed for an early start, as morning comes the alarm goes off at 6am for Aaron to get up and go Buck gets up to as he wants to wave him off

"Have fun and good luck with your meetings I love you" Buck says

"I love you to, till I see you again" Aaron replies and off he goes.

During the week Aaron is away some of Bucks injuries have healed and are just faded bruise marks they take their time to go due to the blood thinners he's on and the burn is just a red patch, at work everything is as basic as it can be he keeps to been professional and still not doing calls so spending time at the fire house which can be boring sometimes everyone is trying to talk to him like a friend but sticks to his guns and only speaks to them as work colleagues and nothing more, Aaron calls him in the morning and evening to see how it's all going and Buck tells him all about how bad work is whilst Aaron explains how the meetings are going.

It's the 12th November and Buck is excited as Aaron will be home tomorrow so he has lots planned when he gets home from his shift so it's all perfect for him when he gets in, as the end of shift gets closer he heads down to the locker room to get changed and Eddie follows him in and stands in from of the door so Buck can't leave

"Buck we need talk" Eddie says making Buck jump once again  
"Eddie what are you doing and its Buckley to you" Buck responds as he grabs his stuff he doesn't even try get changed he wants to leave so he walks towards the door and Eddie refuses to move

"Eddie move please" Buck asks

"Not till you hear me out" Eddie replies

"look Eddie we've said all we need to say I don't have time to play your games I need to go so move" Buck says as he tries to push past Eddie with no luck as Eddie is stood firm

"Told you I want to talk give me five minutes please" Eddie pleads

"Well I don't have much choice considering im trapped in here so get to it" Buck says

Eddie looks at Buck the Buck he loves but can't tell him he loves him, he looks at him he is so pale and thin like he's not been eating much he can tell there and lack of sleep as he has dark bags under his eyes there is something wrong with Buck and he just wants to hold him and make it better.

"Buck I don't know what's going on but I know something isn't right and you were right my bruises were from fights I've had anger problems and that's why I lashed out I didn't mean to but I've been seeing a therapist and its helping" Eddie pauses a moment hoping that it might push Buck to open up to him

"Eddie what do you want me say that im glad for you that im happy for you, after everything you've said to me these last few months has been forgotten about well they haven't, I just can't deal with you, look im glad you're in a better place im happy where I am and I don't want things to change so let's just keep it professional and get on with the work ok, so can I leave now" Buck says gesturing towards the door, as Eddie thinks about it a car pulls up outside Aaron is it to surprise Buck and sits and watches the locker room, Eddie steps to one side and Buck goes to leave but Eddie pulls him in for a hug wanting to smell him just once as he's missed the smell of Buck as he holds him Buck lets out a moan of pain as Eddie has hugged over one of his many still tender Bruises

"What's up I didn't hug you that hard did i?" Eddie asks

"No just have a bad chest as I fell whilst cleaning the other day" He explains " plus who said you could hug me" Buck says as he barges past Eddie and heads out to his surprise he sees Aarons car he runs up to it

"What you doing here I thought you weren't back till later" Buck asks

"Wanted surprise you "He replies "looked cosy there what he want" Aaron asks

"He's trying get on my good side but I've been ignoring him so he thought by locking me in there with him I would talk but didn't" Buck explained

"Get in lets go home lots to tell you" Aaron says

As Buck gets in he sees Eddie walking to the door of the fire station, Aaron gets out

"Aaron don't" Buck says but can't get out the car quick enough and watches as Aaron approaches Eddie and waits for the fists to start flying but they don't it looks like Aaron is saying something.

Eddie watches as Aaron approaches and keeps his cool

"What do you think you are doing locking him in there with you are you some crazy animal?" Aaron asks

"No I just wanted talk to him he seems to not want talk to any of us" Eddie explains

"well why do you think that is , you ignore him give him for weeks then give him mouthfuls of abuse and what u expect him to roll over and take it from you, everyone else here might like to do it for you but im glad he has stuck up for himself" Aaron states

"You think you're so clever but im on to you" Eddie says

"Really and what's that? actually to be honest i don't want hear it, so how about you go back to your own lonely sad life and look after your cripple boy, wouldn't want anything bad happening to him now would we " Aaron says with a wink as he walks off to the car and drives off, Eddie is left there feeling so angry, angry at himself for letting him get to him, angry because Buck won't speak to him, angry because he can't admit to Buck he would be better with him and no one else as Buck as his heart he is all bucks and no one else's, he turns around and texts Buck, look Buck if you ever need something you know im there just like I said the last time we spoke and put his phone in his pocket and went back to finish up.

On the car journey back Aaron just ranted of how much he hated Eddie and couldn't understand why he kept messing with their relationship Buck just looked at him and knew it wouldn't end well, with all the shouting he never heard the phone go off, once they got home Buck got straight to getting tea started he gets food out the fridge and places it on the side, he gets his phone out and puts it on charge in the living room, then heads in to the kitchen where he starts cutting the veg and meat and starts cooking

"Smells good" Aaron says as he walk past Buck and goes in to the living room, he sits down on the sofa and noticed Buck phone is flashing to say he has a message he opens the phone and see the message Eddie has sent, worrying that people are watching he gets his own phone out and sends a text having move plan and do it tonight as if we wait might lose the chance so get here asap Aaron hits sends and smiles, he gets up and walks towards the kitchen as he walks past shelves he picks up a glass vase and as he approaches Buck who is too busy plating the food to notice Aaron walking up to him until he hits him over the head with the vase the glass shatters and goes everywhere and Buck falls to the floor screaming in pain

"What have I told you about lying to me" Aaron says

"I haven't" buck replies holding his head and then he feels a kick to his ribs followed by another

"really so what does Eddie mean in the text he sent you saying that he is there is you ever need him like the last time you spoke, so what did you tell him" Aaron shouts at Buck

"nothing I promise, he just kept pestering me but I never said anything I promise" Buck says and then he feels another sharp kick to his ribs as he moves his hand down to try and get up Aaron stamps on the hand which makes Buck fall down again and is followed by several other kicks to his ribs and legs as Buck pulls his legs up to make a ball to help prevent anymore damage to his ribs he hears Aaron pace around him and then smack another kick this time to his back

"Stop lying Buck tell me the truth and I will stop" Aaron snarls at him and kicks him again

"Im not lying im telling the truth" he can whimper out he's in so much pain, Aaron looks down at him and smiles at the broken man before him, he looks at the pan of food left on the side from which Buck was plating the food with and picks it up and pours it all over Buck whilst laughing, he stands over Buck for 10 minutes just watching Buck lie in pain crying and letting out painful moans.

Aaron moves round and bends down so he can see Bucks teary face

"So are you going tell me the truth, have you been secretly meeting Eddie behind my back" Aaron asks

"No I promise" Buck says

"LIES" Aaron shouts

He stands up and kicks Buck in the face he's about to kick again when there is a knock at the door

"About time" Aaron says as he walks to open the door and is greeted by another man

"Chase what took you so long" Aaron says as he pulls Chase in to a hug

"Traffic was bad and I wasn't near here as wasn't expecting it to happen tonight" Chase explains

"Yeh like I said things have had to be moved up due to people getting involved" Aaron explains as he points over to Buck who is now sitting against the cupboard door, they both walk over leaving the door open and approach Buck

"Please no more" Buck pleads

"See Buck I told you not to screw me out the money" Chase says

"What you on about" Buck replies, Aaron bends down and picks Buck up so he is standing against the side and once he's steady he feels another hit, Chase lands a punch in to Buck stomach

"You know how much I would have got if you had just taken the money and gone through the lawsuit, you cost me money, money I could have retired off why because you are weak" Chase says as he punches Buck again, this time Buck goes to fall but Aaron holds him up Buck looks up and sees that they have left the door open and know its only way to escape

"See Buck me meeting you in the bar wasn't a mistake" Aaron explains

"You see I and Chase well were family and if you mess with one member you mess with the family so we decided to play a game to make you pay and suffer and it worked so well I made you feel worthless and unloved by everyone but me, making you only want to spend time with me as you actually thought I could love a thing like you please I have standards you were just a game I played and a fun one at that" Aaron says as he starts to laugh

"I knew you were dumb Buck this is a new level of dumb, but it helped that your own team disowned you making it easier here for Aaron to get you emotionally attached and break your heart" Chase explains as he hits buck square in the face this time they let him fall to the floor

"by the end of tonight you're going wish you never met me" Aaron says with a evil laugh as he kicks Buck in the back again followed by Chase kicking him in the stomach, they high five and Aaron goes to the fridge and gets 3 beers one for him and chase and he opens the other and pours it over Buck then lobs it at Bucks thigh and Buck screams in pain, Chase and Aaron head upstairs and Buck can hear them trashing the place

**_'This is the time make a run for it now, you may be weak but get out _**'

Buck slowly crawls towards the door looking up at the stairs to make sure he's not seen and as he gets close to the door he stands up and starts limping towards it and gets through he runs as best he can but he's covered in cuts and his vision isn't the best as he makes it to the lift and gets in, once he gets to the car lot he realises he doesn't have a key and makes a run through the back alleys avoiding the main streets in case they try get him he walks for what seems hours but it's only been 30 mins since he got out the apartment.

Back in the apartment Chase and Aaron start coming down after they trash upstairs

"Where is he" Chase asks Aaron

"He was just there" Aaron says and they both look at the door and notice he has gone

"Shit the door was left open why you do that you fool" Chase says as he pushes Aaron, Aaron notices that the car keys and Bucks phone are still here

"He can't get far he's injured and has no Phone or keys so he be on foot and where's he going go no one wants him" Aaron says

"You sure about that" Chase says

"We will have to go look for him if we can't find him we need disappear for a bit" Aaron says as they both head out to look for Buck

Buck is walking through back alleys and carparks keeping off the main road as best as possible the cold breeze brushing past his face and making the cuts tingle, he keeps moving putting one foot in front of the other

**_'Must keep moving, can't let them find me'_**

He battles through the pain until he reaches where he wanted to get to he stands by the door ready to knock

**_'They will think your week, they will look at you and not want to know, they will slam the door in your face as they hate you'_**

Before he has time to think what to do he hears a car coming scared it might be Aaron he runs round the side of the house and hides in the bush

"Buck" Aaron shouts quietly from the car window looking out at the house as he drives by, he doesn't see Buck hiding and drives off once the car is well in the distant Buck moves round to the back of the house to knock on the back door but before he can he collapses to the floor and passes out in the cold night sky the toll of his injuries finally catching up with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Buck slowly awoke he could feel the cold damp snow under him which had started to melt from his ever dwindling body heat, he tried to move but could barely move due to his injuries and the cold making it hard to stay awake he manged to roll on to his back as he did he noticed the red stain that was in the snow and knew he was bleeding as he rolled on to his back he started looking up at the clear dark sky seeing all the stars in the sky hoping that someone would save him, but who would no one knew where he was or what had happened to him as he lay looking up he just wanted someone anyone to save him, as he looked round through the one eye that hadn't swelled up he saw a window with s dim light on and knew it would be the only way he would get any help.

**_'I'm so weak everyone would be best if I died here, no I must survive I will survive'_**

With what little strength he had he got to his knees looking at the window then down to the ground looking for something anything he could use to make a noise as his hands searched the snow he found a small pebble as he looked at the window he looked he could feel the dizziness coming back and knew he didn't have long as he throws the pebble at the window he starts to fall as his face hits the snow he hears the pang of the glass as the pebble bounces off it and passes out

"BUCK" screams Chris as he's awoken by the sound of something hitting his window he was dreaming of Buck as he missed him so much and with everything that had been said to him by Aaron it was giving him nightmares that he would lose Buck forever, his door flung open a shirtless Eddie stood there in just pjs bottoms

"What's up son?" he asks Chris looks at him a tears rolling down his cheeks

"I dreamt something bad happened to Buck again and that he needed us but we weren't there to help him, but then something hit the window and woke me" Chris says as he points to the window in his room

"It was just a nightmare buddy don't worry about it Buck is safe and sound, you will see him I promise, now let's get you all tucked in" Eddie says as he tucks Chris in and kisses him on his forehead

"just check the window dad please" Chris asks as he points to the window, Eddie walks over to the window to put his son at ease that there wasn't anything hiding out there, as he stares out in to the dark void of the outside world he looks out surveying the garden he doesn't see anything as he turns to tell Chris there's nothing there he catches a glimpse of something on the floor

"Stay here Chris" He says as he runs to the back door

"Is it a monster dad" Chris asks as he ducks under the covers to hide

"no don't worry its nothing scary most likely a stray dog, just stay in your bed" Eddie says as he reaches the back door laughing to himself at the thought of a monster in his garden with a smile on his face he opens the back door and turns on the rear light and as it lights up the backyard and his eyes adjust he is shocked when he sees Buck laying there the snow turning red from the blood leaving his body around him.

"Buck, no no no it can't be, what's happened?" Eddie says as he picks Buck up and rolls him on to his back he can see Buck is out cold and in bad shape, he scoops Buck up and brings him in to the house and places him on the kitchen floor so he can assess what is wrong with him he can see the bruises and cuts on his hands and arms the swelling of his eye Eddie didn't want look but he slowly lifted the wet shirt up and off and gasped out when he saw the black bruises all over his torso, as he looks at the body he doesn't notice Chris walk towards him

"Daddy what's wrong with Buck" Chris says as he walks out to see his dad with Buck on the floor not looking good

"I need you to be a big boy and get me your cover he's very cold ok" Eddie asks his son who wanders off to his room and brings him his duvet

"Good boy now go get my phone for me we need call for help" Eddie says as Chris wanders off he looks at Buck who could do such damage to gentle Buck, his first responder instincts kick in and he knows he needs to get him warm and quick, he picks up Buck and cradles him Bucks shirtless torso against his shirtless torso trying get buck warm as he wraps the little duvet over him, he sees Chris coming to him as quick as he can

"Here daddy I got towels to" He says as he passes the towels and phone, Eddie wraps the towel round the back of Bucks head and over his hands to try slow the bleeding as he doing this he calls 9-1-1 as they answer he knows who it is straight away

"9-1-1 what's your emergency" Maddie states down the phone

"Maddie its Eddie I need police and ambulance at my house now hurry please" Eddie says

"What going on" Maddie asks

"Just do it please" Eddie says as he drops the phone not hanging up the call as he is so distracted with Buck and Maddie can hear what's going on

"Please hold on Buck I've got help coming I can't lose you to Buck I'm in love with you please be strong and ill say it when your awake I promise" Eddie says to Buck as Maddie hears this she arranges the first responders and a colleague takes over as she explains it's her brother and knows Eddies isn't far away.

Chris is watching his dad hold Buck trying to get him warm so he grabs Bucks hand to try and help to noticing the blood on Bucks hand but he doesn't care he wants his Buck to know he's there

"Hey Bucky im here so is dad please wake up" Chris says as he starts to cry

"He will be fine ok mate I need you go get me my duvet from my bed ok he's still very cold and we need keep him warm till help arrives" Eddie ask and Chris goes to get the duvet

He sees Buck stir abit and open one eye as the other has now swollen up and unable to see out of it, Buck starts to shake as he doesn't know where he is but calms once he hears a friendly voice

**_'Im safe'_**

"hey you're ok your with me now im not letting you go Buck I should have told you a long time ago I love you so please hold on" Eddie says as he stokes Buck face and Buck passes out again and Eddie starts crying, Chris wanders through dragging the duvet through the hall and passes it to Eddie who places it on top of the other duvet Bucks under, Eddie reaches for his phone he needs to let people know he dials and the phone rings knowing there will be an answer no matter the time of day

"Eddie do you know what time it is "Athena says down the phone as she rolls to turn the light on her bedside lamp

"please Athena its Buck he's hurt and its bad the ambulance is on its way but I don't know what do" Eddie says as he cries down the phone looking at Buck his tears dropping on to Bucks forehead he looks up watching Chris hold Bucks hand trying to get him wake back up

"We are on our way" She says as she wakes Bobby up "come on we need get to Eddies now and call Hen and Chim on the way Buck is hurt" she says the shock on Bobby's face said it all

"I knew something was going on, why I didn't ask" He starts saying but Athena cuts him off

"No time for the I knew BS, let's get to Eddie and help best we can" They get the car and drive off to Eddies and Athena calls Hen and Chim

Back at Eddies there's a knock at the door

"Hey buddy can you go get the door I can't move Buck and it could be the ambulance and they need get in so they can help" Eddie asks Chris

"Ok" he replies and goes to open the door and there stands Maddie who picks Chris up and sees Eddie on the floor with Buck held against him and under duvets she runs towards Eddie holding Chris tight to her as not to drop him

"What's happened" she asks as she sees Eddie on the floor holding Buck close under the duvets

"I don't know I was sleeping and got woke to Chris shouting for Buck he's been having nightmares recently about Buck and said he heard a bang on his window I looked and saw something and I opened the door and there was Buck" He replies as she looks down at her brother she is taken back to how bad he is worrying just how bad it really, she hears a sound of people turning up at the door she looks to see the first responders and police turn up and the responders slowly take Buck off Eddie so they can start their work as they lay him down

"We need to work please stand back, what's his name and any medical conditions?" They say looking at Eddie who's in shock not knowing what to do

"His name is Evan he's on blood thinners to please help him" Maddie says as police offices move them to the front room to give the ambulance crew space to work, as they sit Eddie takes hold of his son and holds him tight

"Will Bucky be ok daddy" Chris asks but Eddie can't answer he just stares at Buck laying on the floor not moving worrying what is going to happen to the man he loves

"He will be fine mate don't you worry" Maddie says noticing Eddie just watching knowing what she had heard Eddie say to Buck she knew it must be hitting him hard

The police can be heard at the door

"Im sorry no one can enter the building" the police officer states

"Son im Sgt Athena Grant so move and let me in the rest will stay outside" as she turns to look at Bobby, Hen and Chim the officer stands to one side and lets her pass as she walks in she can see the ambulance crew working on Buck and is taken back at the way he looks the crew had him strapped to the monitors and working on bandaging the cuts over his body.

"Athena" Maddie shouts and Athena walks over to them and gives Maddie a big hug and then looks at Eddie and Chris

"You ok pumpkin?" she says asking Chris

"Im ok im just sad Buck is hurt" he replies

"I know hunny but he will be ok, can you go with Maddie outside so I can talk to your dad please" Athena asks as Chris nods and climbs on to Maddie and she walks outside carrying Chris where they are met with by the rest of the team who wrap a blanket round them to keep them warm

"What's going on" Bobby asks

"Im not sure all I know is I was at work got a call from Eddie saying Buck was hurt and I got here as quick as I could, he found him outside the back door I don't know what's going on" She replies

Back in the house Athena sits next to Eddie who hasn't stopped looking at Buck as the ambulance crew continue to work on him, there is a flurry of things going on

"Want tell me what's going on" she says taking hold of Eddies hand

"I can't lose him I can't I love him" he says realising he has said it out loud and that Athena heard

"well wasn't what I was expecting but look our boy needs you be strong for both him and Chris , just explain what happened how did he end up here?" she asks

"To be honest I have no idea I was in bed Chris woke up shouting Bucks name as he had a nightmare he explained he heard something at his window I looked out caught a glimpse of something so went to the back door and there he was" Eddie explained

"Ok we will get to the bottom of it don't you worry" Athena says as she rubs Eddies back "go get dressed we will need go the hospital" She says and Eddie starts to wander to his room to get dressed but stopped in his tracks as the sound he didn't want hear started on the monitor

"He's flat lining" One of the responders shout

"Starting compressions the states as they start cpr and the others work quickly injecting and getting the paddles ready, Athena rushes over to Eddie who just crumbles to the floor and holds him as they watch the paddles placed on Bucks chest

"Clear" the responder shouts as the paddles shock and the sound of the flat line continues

"Buckkk" Eddies shouts as the shock again, this time the heartbeat comes back

"Ok we have a weak but steady pulse let's get him moved" the responder says and the move him on to the stretcher and start walking out wheeling him past Eddie

"Don't worry Buck I will be at the hospital waiting for you" Eddie says as he rubs Bucks passing hand on the stretcher, Athena points to Eddie to go get changed as she starts to walk up to the back door she turns to watch the ambulance team walk out the front door

"Hold on Buck" she says trying to hold back the tears she continues to walk to the back door, she looks at the red stained snow and gets her phone out and turns on the torch she sees a trail of blood and follows it to the bush where he had hid from Aaron and then round to the front and sees a big stain from when he stood at the front door and it trailed down the street she walks up to 2 officers

"I need you to go to this address and tell me if someone is there or the apartment is empty" she explains as she writes down Bucks address

"What is it Athena" Bobby asks as they watch Buck been put in to the ambulance

"Im not sure but It looks like where ever he was attacked he walked all this way to get to safety I'm guessing his apartment as he had no jacket or wallet or keys, but whoever it was must have followed as he was at the front door but then hid in the bush round the corner before finally ending up at the back door" she explains

"Shouldn't we call his Boyfriend" Chim Asks

"I don't think that's a good idea till we know what's going on" Athena replies

"You don't seriously think he did that to Buck" Maddie's ask

"I do, I said there was something wrong with that lad" Eddie says as he walks out the door zipping up his grey hoodie, they watch as the ambulance drives off and they start to pile in the cars to head off to the hospital Eddie and Chris ride with Athena and Bobby, in the car Eddie holds his sons hand as he texts Carla to meet them at hospital as Athena drives she gets a call from the officers she sent to Bucks apartment

"Hey Sgt we got to the apartment there no sign of anyone but the place is a mess and there's blood stains what do you want us do" The officer asks

"You stay there do not let anyone in or out, call for forensics and I'll be there in a min" she says as she looks at the others in the car

Once they got to the apt block they got out the car and walked to the lift where police were stood and they could see the little blobs leading to the lift

"I need one officer come with me and the other to stay here, Eddie I need you and Chirs to wait here ok" she says looking at Eddie

"No I want go with you please" Eddie says looking at her

"I'll stay with Chris, Eddie and don't worry he will be ok with me" Bobby explains

Eddie hands Chris to Bobby and follows Athena in to the lift with the other office they press the button to Bucks floor Athena can see Eddie getting agitated

"Eddie no matter what happens I need you to keep you cool do you understand me" Athena says looking at him

"yes" He responds as the lift door opens they can see the trail of blood leading them straight to Bucks door which is ajar Athena signals the office to open it and she charges in her gun pointed ready but no one is there they look round and are shocked to see the place trashed and Eddie looks at the kitchen and realises this is where it happened where Buck was attacked looking at the shattered glass and food on the floor mixed with blood

"How, how could someone do this to Buck" he says as he starts to break down, Athena walks over to him and takes hold of him as the forensic team turn up

"I know but we need be strong for Buck lets head to the hospital the team needs space to go through the apartment" she says before they head out and back to lift once at the car they get in and head to the hospital dreading what news awaits them.

Back at the hospital everyone is sat at the waiting room waiting for answers they see Athena, Bobby, Eddie and Chris turn up and Maddie looks at Athena and just nods she knows what has happened and breaks down

"How could I not notice he was in trouble" She blurts out as Chim holds her

"We all didn't notice" Hen explains rubbing her arm

"We all thought he was ok he was coming to work doing his jobs and not once moaning about anything, he wanted things to be kept on a work level and nothing personal I knew I should have pushed him to explain what was going on" Bobby says

As they stand there Carla comes in and Eddie just hugs her

"I couldn't protect him, I've let him down big time" he says

"Don't be silly you weren't to know, the main thing now is were here for him and focus on him" she says as she looks at Eddie and he nods as they talk about the situation in which he found Buck the doctor comes down the Corridor

"Can I talk to a Maddie Buckley please" she asks looking at the crowd

"That's me "Maddie's replies and the doctor gestures that they move to one side to talk

"There all family so you can speak in front of them" she explains knowing it be easier for the doctor to explain what has happened than her having to explain after

"Ok if you're sure, as you know Evan was in bad shape and lost a lot of blood and he flat lined but we didn't know how serious till he got here, he has several broken ribs, ones that aren't broken are badly bruised he has multiple bruising up and down his body his left eye socket has been fractured and bruising on the spine as well as been underweight and showing signs of exhaustion and malnutrition " she explains as everyone looks in shock at just how bad he is "also has he been injured recently at work? "The doctor asks

"No he's been at the fire station doing chores and hasn't been on any calls why" Bobby asks

"Well we found evidence of a pretty bad burn which looks like he took care of himself it's all healed just some scaring from where it was but after we found that we looked and he has serval other older bruises all over" she explains

Everyone just looked at each other and realised this had been going on for ages and no one noticed they just thought he was been funny with them as they were funny with them but didn't expect this

"Why didn't he just say to us something was wrong" Eddie says

"Because depending on what's happened he may have been made to feel asking for a help makes him weak, I don't know till we speak to him" Maddie says

"well for now he's stable and is going need plenty of rest so the best thing now you can do for him is go home and come back in the morning he's in safe hands" the doctor explains

"Im staying till he wakes" Eddie says "I... We all failed him so I will stay and wait till he wakes up, Carla can you take Chris to yours for the night please" he explains

"Of course I can, come on Chris lets go back to mine while your dad looks after Buck ok" She says

"Ok, but dad give Buck a hug from me when he wakes up and say I'll be back soon to visit" Chris says as he hugs his dad goodbye, everyone disappears and leaves Maddie Chim and Eddie,

"Chim can you stay with me tonight?" Maddie asks knowing this has hit home everything she had been through

"Of course" He replies

"I'll meet you at the car just need speak to Eddie" She says and Chim walks off to go get the car

"Eddie I need ask you something" She looks at Eddie

"Yeah what's up" He replies

"When you rung for help and told me to send the first responders you dropped the phone but I heard you say to Buck that you can't lose him to I need you and need him to be strong and that you love him" she looks at Eddie who can't look her in the eye

"Might as well come clean to you, im in love with Buck have been for a while but I didn't say or do anything as I didn't think he would feel the same and then this new lad comes on the scene and messed everything up" he explains

"well now you need be here for him and show him he's got the support and don't forget you promised him you would tell him when he's awake so ill hold you to that" She says as she hugs him and leaves the hospital and Eddie walks up to the room where Buck is and looks at him through the window lying there wires coming in and out of him

"You can sit with him if you want" A nurse says looking at Eddie

"I thought only family could go in "He replies

"Yes normally but the doctor said that you were all family so let you if you wanted to just be quiet he needs his rest ok" The nurse explains and Eddie smiles as he walks in and sits on the seat next to Buck and take hold of his hand and starts crying

"Im sorry I let you down, I promise I won't let you down I'll be there for you from now" He says as he kisses Bucks hand, he feels Buck move a finger and looks at his face and can see Buck is awake and tear roll down his cheek he stands up and goes to wipe it and Buck flinches and tries to move away

"It's ok Buck I won't hurt you" He says not moving any closer

"You lie everyone lies, just leave me alone" Buck replies

"Whatever he did im not him Buck I promise I will be here and I won't leave you," Eddie explains looking at him he then walks and holds Buck hand as he looking at his hand " I made a promise as I held you at mine that when you wake I would tell you so here it is Evan Buckley I'm madly and deeply in love with you I just wished I said it sooner" Eddie says not noticing that Buck had drifted back to sleep, he looks down and smiles realising what had happened

"Next time" Eddie says as he smiles down at Buck, he decides to nip out and get a drink and some chocolate before he settled down for a long night next to Buck

Buck woke when he felt something touching his hand when he woke up he saw Aaron smiling down at him not knowing where Eddie was

**_'Eddie said he would be here and he wouldn't leave me, oh god what is he going do to me'_**

"I've been so worried about you Buck why you go run off like that and look your all alone" He whispers and Aaron starts squeezing Bucks wrist "we haven't finished yet" Aaron says


	7. Chapter 7

Buck lies there frozen stiff as he sees Aaron standing there smiling at him.

"P..Please leave" Buck manages to get out.

"Why would I want leave my boyfriend who needs me I mean look at how weak you look" Aaron says.

"I thought you were tougher than this" he starts moving closer, running his hand down Bucks arm. Aaron looks when they hear a noise outside the room

**_'Please someone come in' _**

Aaron looks at Buck and grins "Oh don't worry we won't be disturbed. Chase is outside so this time there will be no escape, just you and me now." Aaron says as he strokes Bucks face and puts a hand over Bucks mouth.

He slaps him across the already swollen side so that Bucks screams are muffled. He looks down and sees Buck connected to the IV feed and smiles. Aaron positions himself so he has a knee on Bucks arm and keeps his hand on Bucks mouth and then roughly pulls out the needle from Bucks hand ripping the IV out. Buck feels the blood run between this fingers as he screams but they're muffled no one is going to hear him.

**_'Please make it quick, it's not like anyone will miss me'_**

Aaron starts scraping the needle up Bucks arm, making sure he presses it in to puncture the skin leaving a trial of cuts that start to bleed. Aaron starts to laugh as Buck feels the tears running down his cheeks.

Eddie is in the lift heading back to Bucks room with drinks and chocolates. He didn't know what Buck would want so he got a wide Varity of stuff. As the door opens and he walks into the corridor he starts thinking how Buck is now safe. He can be there to show him he is safe. As he turns the corner he sees a guy standing outside Buck's room with a police jacket on. _'Athena must have sent someone to watch him'_ he thinks to himself but as he gets closer he realises he recognises the guy.

"CHASE!" Eddie shouts as he starts walking faster towards Bucks room. Chase looks down the long corridor and sees Eddie coming; he turns and bangs on the window signalling Aaron.

"Ah looks like my fun will have to finish here babe, but don't you worry your pretty little face. We will see each other soon. Remember I'm the only one who cares for you!" Aaron says as he kisses Buck on the forehead and gets up and walks out the door.

As he walks out Buck jumps out of the bed and cowers in the corner, pulling off all the heart monitor pads, setting the alarms off.

"What is it?" Aaron asks Chase.

"Oi!" Eddie shouts

"Ah lovely to see you Eddie, but we best be off. Till next time!" Aarons shouts and winks at him as both he and Chase run off, pushing past the Drs and Nurses who are running in to Buck's room.

"Buck, Oh god please!" Eddie panics as he gets to the room dreading what he will find.

As he walks in the nurse tries to stop him but he pushes past her, his heart is pounding. There's no one in the bed, but he can see drs and nurses looking at the corner. He hears Buck.

"Leave me, don't come near me." Buck tells the dr as he hides in the corner behind a chair, using it as a shield

"Evan, we aren't here to hurt you we're here to help. How about you let us look at you that cut, it looks bad?"

"No stay away!" Buck shouts as he sobs. Eddie walks to the front he sees Buck hidden behind the chair and his heart aches. If he had just stayed he would have been ok. He looks at the dr.

"Can you all leave please and give me 5 minutes? Just get security look for them and call the police. I will talk to Buck" Eddie looks at the dr and gives her a pleading look.

"Ok 5 minutes, but we really need to see his new wounds. Everyone outside please." the dr ushers everyone but Eddie out. He sits on the floor and looks at Buck.

"Hey Buck, can I come to you so I can look at your cut please?" Eddie asks just staring at Buck. He didn't recognise him at all. He looked like he had been broken.

"You left me, you said you wouldn't leave and I woke and he was here instead you promised!" Buck weeps out.

"I'm sorry, if I had known I wouldn't have left you. I went to get some food and drink as I know the food here sucks." Eddie says as he shuffles closer.

Buck just tries to move further in to the corner.

"Can I come sit next to you? I will just sit next to you so you can see I'm here with you." Eddie asks

Buck doesn't answer he just nods and Eddie slowly shuffles closer and closer till he's sat next to Buck. He looks at the new wound on his arm and thinks what could have happened if he was any longer, but shakes the thoughts away. As he looks at Buck who can't even look at him, the dr slowly opens the door and looks at Eddie.

"Look Buck, the dr needs come and look at this. Let's move you to the bed so she and her team can look at you." Eddie says holding Bucks hand as he waits.

Buck slowly gets up and Eddie walks him to the bed. Once he's settled Eddie signals for the drs to come in and they start working on patching up the new cuts and putting in the iv drip. Eddie stays close so Buck can see him. He doesn't flinch or move once, he just stares at Eddie.

**_'He's here, he's watching us seeing how weak you are, he's only hear to pity you'_**

They lay him down on the bed and tuck him in and start to leave. Eddie moves to go and speak to the dr outside but he feels a tug on his shirt. He turns and sees Buck looking at him, tears coming down his cheeks.

"Please don't leave me." Buck sobs and Eddie feels his heart ache and tears form in his eyes. He bends down and hugs Buck.

"I'll be right next to you." Eddie whispers to Buck, as he rises he sees the dr waiting and takes hold of Bucks hand and walks as far as his arm will stretch so Buck knows he is still there and talks to the dr.

"He has long cuts from what we can only assume is the iv needle which was ripped out of his hand. We can tell by looking at the skin which has been ripped upwards. We patched and stitched him back up and put a new iv in. I'm also going to give him a sedative to calm him and help him sleep till tomorrow." The dr explains.

"Thank you and what about the guys that was in here?" Eddie asks.

"They got out of the hospital, but we have security on alert and a guard outside. The only people allowed in are the night nurse and you for tonight. Anyone else will be turned away, but I will say now he's got a long recovery not just physically but mentally and emotionally. He is going need a lot of support." The dr says.

"I understand and he will, just let us know what we need do. I can explain to the team so we can start. Thank you again" Eddie says and the dr leaves the room.

Eddie looks to Buck to find he has fallen asleep, his hand still clutching his. He walks back to the bed and gently places his hand on his stomach. He makes his way to the loo.

Once inside he looks in the mirror and sees blood on his hoodie. He hadn't realized he had blood on him. He washes his hands and face and walks back in the room. The night nurse has come in with some blankets and starts cleaning the blood from the floor where Buck was hiding.

"Thanks for the blankets." Eddie says as he smiles to the nurse.

"If you need anything just give me a shout and I'll try sort it out" she explains as she heads out.

"We should be fine; I'm going try get some sleep before he wakes." Eddie says as he moves the chair so it was next too Bucks bed so if he looks he will see Eddie there.

He wraps up in the blanket and lifts his arm up and takes hold of Bucks hand. Falling asleep holding it so if he wakes he knows Eddie is there.

As the hustle and bustle of hospital life moved past his room Buck slowly opens his one good eye to take in his surroundings, hoping it was all just a bad nightmare. But as he wakes and feels the numb pain as he tries to move it all comes flooding back exactly what had happened.

As he moves his hand he feels something holding it and freezes and looks down dreading who maybe the one holding it. As he looks she sees the dark hair and olive coloured skin of Eddie sat there with his arms crossed on Bucks bed and his head asleep on top of his arms. With one hand holding Bucks, Buck smiles knowing he's safe.

**_'He didn't leave, he stayed why did he stay for me? I'm an idiot and useless look what I have caused.'_**

Buck lies there looking at his surroundings which look totally different in the day light he starts to fidget as he wants sit up, but doesn't want to disturb Eddie. Which he fails at as he moves his leg knocks Eddie who shoots up.

"Everything ok?" Eddie says looking round making sure no one else was in there. He turns to Buck and sees he's awake.

"Well morning sleepy." Eddie says as he smiles at Buck.

"Morning. I'm sorry for the mess I've caused; you should be at home with Chris. Oh god I'm sorry he saw me like this! I didn't know where to go." Buck starts to sob as he turns away not able to look Eddie in the face.

"I've most likely scared him again and he will have nightmares. I'm sorry." Buck continues.

"Buck, there is nothing to be sorry for and I'm glad you turned up at mine. Don't know how you managed walk through it, but I'm glad and Chris will be fine once he gets to see you later and sees you are ok." Eddie explains as he gets up and starts pouring some water for the both of them. He walks up to Buck and helps him drink from his glass and places it on the side as Eddie drinks from his

"Eddie..." Buck turns to look at Eddie "I'm sorry about the lawsuit."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. We sorted it remember. My main focus is getting you better. The team and I will help you through this and I'll make sure no one turns there back on you again. I'm sorry we pushed you in to the arms of that freak. I won't push you, but you know you need tell someone about this." Eddie says as he sits in the chair next to Buck.

"I know, but not yet I just want to sleep please." Buck says as he starts to doze and starts to sleep again.

Eddie moves the blanket and covers him and can see movement outside the door and walks to it. He sees Maddie outside and she doesn't look too impressed.

"Eddie, why didn't you call me and tell me what happened?" Maddie asks as she pulls Eddie from in front of the door and in to the middle of the corridor.

"I'm sorry Maddie; it was I just forgot ok. My main priority was Buck and getting him help as he wouldn't let anyone near him and he needed medical attention. Once it was sorted I fell asleep but they wouldn't have let you in as the guard would only let me and the night nurse in. Everyone else would have been turned away so I'm sorry." Before Eddied can finish Maddie pulls him in to a hug.

"I know you are and I'm glad you were here if could have been so much worse, but how is he now?" Maddie asks.

"He's not ok. He thinks it his entire fault. He is blaming himself for coming to me and Chris seeing him like this, but I explained he shouldn't. I think it will be a long recovery and we need be there for him." Eddie explains.

"Do you want have some time alone with him I can go get food from the canteen and bring drinks back to the room gives you some time?" Eddie asks.

"Thank you that be great." Maddie replies, she hugs Eddie and he heads off as she walks in to the room.

She can see Buck sleeping and walks up his bed stroking his hair as she surveys the damage caused to her baby brother.

"Hey ,little big sister." Buck mummers to her.

"Hey, big little brother." She replies as Buck moves to sit up properly so he can talk.

As he gets up he sees Eddie goes and Maddie sees the panic in his face and the sound of his heart monitor getting faster.

"Buck breathe, please! What's up?" Maddie asks.

"He said he would stay; he said he wouldn't leave me! Where's he gone?! He hates me that's why he's gone, Eddie hates me!" Buck starts rambling and Maddie stands looking and listening to her brother and is concerned she needs to calm him down.

"He's gone to the canteen to get us some food and drink, but also to let me talk to you. He will be back I promise." Maddie says.

"LIES!" Buck shouts and starts to try to get out the bed.

"He said you all lie, that all you do is make fun of me because I believe all your gullible lies and I do every time." He manages to stand up the wires pulling on him.

Maddie runs round to stop him moving more and raises her hand to grab him to which Buck jumps to the side and runs back to the corner dragging the machines with him Maddie stands in shock.

"I'm sorry please don't hurt me" Buck says cowering in the corner, Maddie tries to walk closer and she sees him cower more and just stops and stands there. She starts to cry, the door behind her opens and the nurse comes in.

"I need some help in here!" She shouts as she moves pass Maddie.

"Stay away!" Buck shouts and the nurse complies as the Drs Come running in.

"Come on Evan, no one is going hurt you we just want to help you. Come back to your bed please." The dr asks but he doesn't move.

"Where did Mr Diaz go?" The dr asks Maddie who is still in shock. She comes out of the shock state when she feels the Drs Touch "Where is Mr Diaz?!" she asks again.

"He went to the canteen." Maddie replies as the dr gets one of the nurses to go fetch him. She starts to walk Maddie out of the room and sits her down.

"I didn't mean scare him." Maddie says.

"I know, but he's been through a lot and it will take a long time." the dr explains and she sees Eddie running down the corridor.

"Maddie what's happened?" Eddie asks looking confused.

"He started panicking when he couldn't see you, saying that we all lie and break promises. He tried get out of the bed so I went round to stop him I raised my hand up and he freaked and went running to the corner. He looked so scared." Maddie says as she starting crying.

"It's ok. I'll go speak to him, just give me a minute." Eddie says as he walks in the nurse leave the room and Eddie walks up to Buck to sit next to him.

"You came back." Buck says as he starts crying.

"Of course I said I wouldn't go. I just wanted let your sister talk to you alone, but I'm here now so how about we get you back in the bed so the nurses can check you out." Eddie says as he stands up and holds out his hand for Buck to hold. They walk back to the bed and the dr and nurses walk back and start sorting out the tangled wires.

"There we go all fixed up, your sister wants to come back in is this ok?" The dr asks.

"No, I don't want see anyone just Eddie please." Buck states.

"Buck you got speak to her, she didn't mean scare you." Eddie says.

"I just want be left with you, you're the only one I can trust please." Buck says looking at Eddie with tears running down his face.

"Ok then just until you're ready." Eddie says.

"Let me go explain to Maddie. I'll leave you with the dr and you can see me through the window ok?" Eddie says looking at Buck waiting for a response.

"Ok." Buck replies as he starts to drift off again, Eddie walks outside and looks at Maddie who just grabs him in to a big hug.

"What am I going to do?" She asks.

"At the moment, there's not much you can do." Eddie replies.

"What has he said?" She questions knowing he has something say.

"He doesn't want anyone coming in to visit him; he wants me to stay but no one else. I'm sorry Maddie, I don't know what do. I have to respect what he wants" Eddie says as he looks through the window and to Buck.

"It's ok. I understand I will explain to everyone to stay away and give him time. Just keep me informed please?" Maddie asks.

"Of course I will, you know that." Eddie says

"I best get back in so he doesn't panic again." Eddie says as he gives her a final hug and walks in.

Maddie stands there hand on the window and start crying some more as she starts to walk down the corridor.

Eddie is back in the room with Buck who is out cold again, which gives Eddie time to clean up the room once done he sits back down and falls asleep on the seat again.

A few hours later Eddie feels something on his head he turns and looks up to see Buck staring at him and he seems panicked.

"Hey what is up?" Eddie asks but his own question is answered when he hears the sounds of people outside and he looks up to the window and sees familiar faces.

"Eddie I can't face them please get them to leave!" Buck says.

"Ok I will." Eddie says as he gets up and walks to the door, he opens and closes it and is embraced in a big hug from his son.

"Daddy!" Chris says as Eddie bends down and picks him up. He looks around and sees Carla, Bobby and Athena. He smiles at them.

"How is he?" Athena asks.

"Well, after the visit last night he's not in a good place. We had a thing earlier with Maddie and he freaked. He doesn't want anyone round him, just me." Eddie explains.

"Even me daddy? I'm his best buddy though he will want see me you know he will." Chris asks.

"I tell you what how about we go in and see if he wants to see you." Eddie says, he looks at the others who just nod and start to walk past him to leave.

"I'll come back for Chris later hun, and here is a change of clothes. I figured you might need them." Carla says as she hands him a bag, he gives her a hug and she walks off.

Eddie carries Chris and walks in to the room closing the door shut but also closing the blinds on the window to put Bucks mind at ease. Buck turns to look at Eddie and smiles when he sees Chris.

"Hey Buddy." Buck says.

"Hey Bucky, daddy said you didn't want see anyone but I told him I'm your best buddy so you will want see me." Chris says as Eddie places him on the edge of the bed. Buck sits up and brings Chris in to a big hug but lets out a moan of pain because of his ribs.

"Be careful Chris, Buck is tender and needs a lot of care." Eddie says.

"It's ok Eddie. I'm just glad have my best buddy here." Buck says smiling.

Buck moves to make more room for Chris to get on properly as they sit there Buck pulls the bed table over the bed so Chris can empty his bag as he brought things to do and keep them busy.

"I'm going to get changed. I'm just in the other room; Chris will be here with you." Eddie says to Buck who nods to him.

Eddie walks in to the room and starts cleaning himself up and swaps the clothes to fresh ones. He then looks at the mirror and starts feeling angry at everything that's gone on and goes to punch the wall but stops himself.

_"Anger got Buck here, I can't be that man" _he says to himself after a few minutes and in a calm mood he walks out and sees that Buck is laying back down and has fallen asleep but with Chris next to him and holding him close.

Eddie walks over and covers Chris with a blanket and moves the table out the way and takes in the image of his son lying down with the man he loves. He wants to tell him, but knows he can't as it's too soon.

_"He just needs his best friend now nothing more." _He says to him self

He moves round and sits in the chair and relaxes, after an hour the nurse comes in and taps Eddie on the shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't want wake you, but I need do some checks would it be ok move your boy so I can check things?" She asks Eddie.

"Yeah, sure." Eddie gets up and slowly picks up Chris who wakes up and they sit in the chair while the nurse sorts out Buck.

"When can he leave here? "Chris asks.

"I'm not sure mate, when the dr says he can." Eddie replies.

"Will he come back to ours?" Chris asks.

"I'm not sure mate that will be down to him." Eddie says.

"I hope he does. We can play videogames all the time then and he can make you lose." Chris starts explains but stops when he hears Buck coughing and they watch as the nurse finishes her checks and leaves the room.

"How you feeling?" Eddie asks.

"I'm ok, better now my buddy is here." Buck says holding his hand out to Chris.

"Think he's more excited to see you than me." Eddie laughs.

"Equal. " Chris says with a big cheesy grin as he signals his dad to place him back on Bucks bed.

"When can you leave?" Chris asks.

"Chris, I explained he needs get better before he can leave." Eddie says.

"But can he come back ours; me and you can look after him." Chris says and Eddie just looks at Buck who is smiling through everything Buck keeps smiling.

"Hey Buddy, if they let me out I don't know where I will go." Buck explains.

"That sucks, you could just live with us and you will be safe. Daddy will do anything to protect you." Chris says sulking.

"Chris!" Eddie says and sees a hand go up from Buck.

"I know he would, I heard you both when I was laying on the floor at yours. You kept me going just hearing your voices I knew I was safe." Buck starts saying as he starts crying.

Eddie looks at Buck 'did he hear what I said? He would have said if he did surely' he thinks to himself

"You will be ok kid, I got you my Bucky." Chris says as he wipes the tears away.

Buck just pulls him in to a hug, they sit there and Eddie pulls the table round and they play games for a few hours. Eventually Carla comes and takes Chris away for the night and Eddie settles down for a night's sleep next to Buck in the chair.

"Thanks for being here Eddie." Buck says.

"I'll be here always, now get some sleep and I'll try break you out tomorrow." Eddie laughs.

"Well, I don't think the dr will let you. She's a hard ass." Buck jokes back.

"I'll use the Diaz charm on her works all the time." Eddie laughs.

"Well it doesn't work all the time otherwise you would be fighting the women off." Buck laughs and starts coughing, Eddie stands up and passes him the drink of water, wishing he could say the only one he wants charm is Buck.

"Well, we both know you're a sucker for the Diaz charm. Chris has you wrapped round his finger." Eddie Jokes.

"That he does. I love him like he's mine, and I know he isn't but you know I would do anything for him. I'm tired. Let's sleep and hopefully I can escape this room tomorrow." Buck says.

"But where are you going stay, you can't go back to your place?" Eddie asks.

"Well, I was hoping the offer Chris made was something you would let happen." Buck responds.

"If that's what you want we can sort something out. Off to sleep now." Eddie says.

"Night." Buck says as he turns to go sleep.

"Goodnight, mi amor." Eddie mumbles.

Buck lays there wondering what Eddie had said in Spanish, but was too tired to ask and drifts off to sleep. Everything was starting to go his way.


	8. Chapter 8

As morning came Buck awoke to the sound of voices and he could tell one was Eddie and the other a female it sounded like his Dr so Buck just pretend be asleep and listened in to the conversation

"So doctor, when can we take him out of here?, surely today as he will be looked after at home?" Eddie asks trying to use the Diaz charm

"Mr Diaz as you know he had had a very tough night so we will want keep him a few more days just to make sure he is getting the fluids and meals in him for his malnutrition, as well as antibiotics to fight off any infection" The Doctor explains

"But I can do all that at home for him, I am trained, so he will be safe in these qualified hands" Eddie says with a cheeky grin

"Im sure he will be but the answer is still no sorry, I have put his health first" The Doctor replies

"Ok I get ya, How about we compromise and if he is loads better tomorrow I can take him home, you know I will look after him and I'll bring him back if there's anything I can't deal with scouts honour" Eddie says holding up the scouts gesture the Doctor looks at him and rolls her eyes

"Fine he can go tomorrow IF he feels fine and I see a good improvement in vitals if not then he stays" The doctor says and walks out with the files and as she leaves Eddie swings his arms in joy

"Well that was cringe to listen to" Buck jokes which makes Eddie jump but also blush

"Hey it worked you could be out tomorrow" Eddie says as he walks over to the bed and passes Buck a drink of water

"Would have been better if I had the other Diaz working his charm I would be out already" Buck jokes and as he laughs he starts to cough

"I take offence to that, well he will be here soon to keep us busy, Bobby text me earlier says I can be off to look after you on compassionate leave so that's good" Eddie explains

"So I get nurse maid Eddie to look after me, but it's nice of him to let you have the time off" Buck says and starts to look down

"What's up?" Eddie says as he sits on the edge of the bed and sees Buck flinch a bit and move so Eddie jumps off the bed

"Sorry I didn't mean scare you Buck" Eddie says

"I know, it's just I just can't stop you know thinking what did I do wrong" Buck says as he starts to cry, Eddie places a hand on the bed to see if Buck will take it in his own time which he does

"Look Buck you did nothing wrong you were mistreated by them and we will get them, in time you will be able to do things and not worry about been hurt I promise" Eddie says as

"I know but can we talk about other things and not this please" Buck asks looking up at Eddie

"Of course what do you fancy chatting about" Eddie says as he moves to sit in the chair

"Well first of what does mi Amor mean?" Buck asks looking at Eddie, Eddie is taken back by the question he didn't think he had said it out loud and he can feel is cheeks going warm so he quickly adjusts to hide his redding cheeks

"Oh it means my friend" Eddie says trying make sure his voice holds out, Buck smile and sits up the bed

"oh right, ok, so you sure im ok to stay at yours I mean is there even room for me as I know you only have two bed rooms which are both occupied I can get a hotel I don't mind" Buck says

"no its fine you can have my bed and the sofa pulls out so I will crash on there and before you say you will have the sofa the answer is no as it's not the comfiest thing to sleep on when your fully ok and it will hurt you more with you been tender, plus Chris will never forgive me if I don't bring you back" Eddie laughs

"True he wouldn't, but thank you Eddie" Buck says as he starts to lie back down feeling tired again from the pain killers,

During the few hours he slept Eddie made a few phone calls asking Maddie if she could pop round to his with some of Bucks things and explaining that he would look after Buck but also try and see if he will would let others come round, Chris had turned up and was sat on the seat playing games on his tablet as he waited for Buck to wake.

Eddie was on the phone to Athena who wanted people to come and take a statement from Buck and Eddie was trying to put her off but she was like a dog with a bone saying it needed be done and she would just turn up but Eddie explained it would only make things worse, he finally gave and said he would speak to Buck but no promises and hung up the phone.

He sat on the arm watching Chris draw on his tablet, they both looked up when they heard mummers coming from Buck he was talking in his sleep

"Please Aaron stop I don't want to please NO" Buck says in his sleep

Eddie walks over and takes his hand and rubs Bucks arm to wake him up, when he wakes Eddie can tell it wasn't a good dream Buck had started crying he helped Buck in to the sitting position and held his arms open waiting for Buck to make the move and he did and leaned in to Eddie and hugged him so tight Eddie hugged him back making sure not to squeeze to much

"It's ok Buck were here, your safe" Eddie says as he rubs his back

"Hey Bucky can I have a hug to" Chris asks as he climbs off the chair and moves to the bed, Eddie breaks the hug and bends to pick up Chris and Buck and Chris hug, Buck holding him tight as Chris runs his fingers through his hair.

As Eddie enjoys the site in front of him there's a knock at the window and he turns to go to it, knowing Buck is watching like a hawk, when he opens it there stands 2 police officers

"Hi SGT Grant sent us to get a statement is it ok if we have a chat" The officer asks

"Not really, I did say that now's not the best time for him to talk, plus have you got you id, had some trouble so want make sure" Eddie states

"Of course" the officers say and show Eddie their badges and id and looks at Buck and is about to say no when Buck jumps in

"Eddie its fine I need do this" Buck says

"Only if you're sure, I will be here the whole time" Eddie explains

"That's fine but maybe it's not the best place for a child to be" the office says as she points to Chris who's sat on the bed

"I'll put him on his tablet with his headphones on he won't hear a thing, but he isn't going anywhere he stays with us" Eddie says as he walks over and moves the chair to the other side of the room and then helps Chris off the bed and sets him up on the chair with his tablet and headphones

"Now mate I need you to put these on and play on your tablet I'll be with Buck while he talks to the police" Eddie explains

"Why can't I listen in daddy" Chris asks

"Because its adult stuff and one day when your older you will understand why you can't hear it now ok" Eddie says with a smile, Chris pops his headphones in and once Eddie can hear sound coming from the Headphones he gets his phone out to text Athena wanting to know why she had sent the police round once its sent he walks back over to the bed where the cops are stood at the bottom waiting to start.

"In your own time Mr Buckley, please explain what has happened" The office asks

"it started off all ok and then there was once thing where I had stuck my leg out and tripped him as he was carrying boiling water in cups and it went on my leg but I swore I never had my leg out but he insisted and I was tired so I could have but looking back I know I didn't and he did it on purpose" Buck says as he wipes a tear away

"Did you report the burn or seek medical advice" The office asks

"No, I was going to but then he got it in my head as was a first responder so I should know how to deal with a burn and that I didn't need to seek advice from anyone else so I treated it myself and never mentioned it even when I was sat in the doctors getting my results I felt like I should have but his words were in my head and I didn't, as I didn't want look weak" Buck explained

"Were there anymore instances after that" The office asks

"Yeah he pushed me and left marks on my chest and back when we had a disagreement because I kept saying sorry" Buck explains

"What was the disagreement over" The office asks

"I missed a text saying he was going out which he said he had sent but I never saw it so I was explaining and then he said I needed to man up and stop been so weak im sorry can we have 10 minutes please" Buck asks

"Yeh take all the time you need" The officer explains

Eddie stood there in shock at what he had heard Buck say and knew it was only the tip of the ice berg that someone could be so cruel to him and what for it made no sense at all, the guilt started to take over Eddie only if he had been there when Buck needed, the officers stand by the door while Buck takes 10 mins and Eddie checks on Chris see if he's ok before heading over to Buck again

"You sure you want continue?" Eddie asks

"Yeah I need to do this otherwise they get away" Buck replies and looks at the officers to signal them over

"You ready to continue Mr Buckley?" the officer asks

"Yes" Buck replies

"After he pushed you in the chest and left the marks on you what did you do?" The officer asks and before Buck could answer the door opened and in walked Athena and another man in plain clothes

"SGT Grant" The officer says looking sheepish

"What's going on?" Buck asks

"I'll Explain in a min Buck I just need a word with these two outside" Athena explained and signalled the officers outside, Eddie was about walk out when Buck stopped him

"Just stay here please" Buck pleaded

"ok I just want know what's going on, im sure she will explain to us in a min" Eddie says as he takes a seat on the bed and looks at Chris who is happy in his own world on his tablet, Both Buck and Eddie watch through the window another 4 officers turn up and Athena looks pissed and can tell she is having a serious go at the two officers who were interviewing Buck, then they were been escorted off by the other four officers while Athena and the plain clothes man entered

"im sorry about this, this is Detective Layhe, I don't know how to say this Buck but we didn't send them to interview ive kept people coming to you till you were ready" Athena explains

"So who were they?" Buck asks

"They are police officers but they were not following orders from us and we will be investigating why they were here" Detective Layhe explains

"Not good enough" Eddie says starting to get angry he had let them in he should of told them go away

"I understand Eddie, but if you hadn't had text we wouldn't have even know they were here, how much did you tell them?" Athena asks looking at Buck who now has is head in his hands

"How could I be so stupid "Buck says aloud and Eddie starts to rub his back

**_'He said there was nowhere for me, and he would find me, im so stupid'_**

"Buck you aren't stupid" Eddie says and Athena walks up to the side of the bed and Buck shifts away closer to Eddie

"Buck I won't hurt you" Athena says shocked that this once bright and bubbly man was reduced to this, she takes a step back to give him room

"I need to know one thing what has Chase got to do with all this?" Athena asks

Buck slowly looks up and looks at Eddie before he turns to Athena his eyes full of tears

"Chase is related to Aaron, the whole thing was a set up so he could get payback for me dropping the lawsuit and him losing the money" Buck explains as he starts sobbing in to Eddie

"I think that's enough now Athena can you go please" Eddie says looking at Athena who has her hand over her mouth and can see the tears starting to form in her eyes, she looks at Eddie and straightens herself

"Ok but if you need anything you contact me and me alone" She says to Eddie giving him a mothers look of you best do as your told and turns to walk out with the detective once there gone Eddie just holds Buck as he sobs and strokes his head

"Im here Buck, whenever you're ready you can tell me ok" Eddie say but Buck doesn't answer just holds him tighter, Eddie just holds him close and looks down watching Buck head bob as he cries.

After a few mins Buck lets go but doesn't look at Eddie he just lies back down and faces away from his, Eddie tries to walk round to the other side but Buck turns again, Eddie takes the hint and goes over to Chris and sits on the arm watching Chris but looking up at Buck frequently hoping he will signal to come back over.

"What you drawing buddy" Eddie asks as he watches Chris drawing a picture on his tablet

"It's for Buck to make him happy" Chris says

Eddie smiles knowing it most likely won't help but the positivity Chris gave out made anyone smile, he checks his phone to see if Athena had texted him any information but the only messages he had were off the team asking how Buck is doing he messaged back explaining what had gone on, after a while the nurse came in to do some checks and Eddie took this chance to go and see if he could get close to Buck

"How are you feeling Evan?" The nurse asks

Buck didn't reply just shrugged his shoulders and looked at the nurse as she checked his bandages and then marked down his vitals on the clipboard

"Do you need any more pain killers?" she asks

But again he just shrugged and lay back down on the bed, she turned to Eddie

"Yeh can we get some please" he says to her and she smiles and walks out, Eddie sits on the bed Bucks back facing him and rubs his shoulder Buck flinches at the touch and Eddie stops

"Buck please look at me, tell me what's on your mind" Eddie says

**_'Don't talk they all lie look what happened you just get played, you're the freak that no one wants'_**

Buck doesn't move just lays there with Eddie sat behind him, Eddie doesn't know what to do he doesn't want push him to much but needs him to talk to him

"Buck I get you don't want talk but I need you to, I know it's hard and it must feel like you don't know who to trust, I know ive not the bin the greatest friend these last few months but I have your back now and I'll never stop now" Eddie starts saying as Chris wanders over to the bed placing his tablet on the bed and Eddie picks him up and sits him next to him so there both behind Buck

"Me to Bucky" Chris says wanting to touch Buck but looks at his dads who nods not to

"see Buck were both here for you we were fine earlier and I know what happened has pushed you back but please turn and look at us even if you don't want talk just look at us" Eddie pleads

**_'He is lying, he is just using you to make you look silly, but Chris wouldn't lie, im so confused'_**

After a few mins Buck finally rolls over and is greeted by smiles from Both Diaz men, he starts to cry again and Chris leans in to hold him and bucks holds him close as Eddie wipes the tears from his cheeks, the nurse comes in and passes Eddie some painkillers he moves Chris so he can sit Buck up and give him the pills

"Do you want see the picture I drew for you Buck" Chris asks and Buck nods so he gets his tablet and shows Buck the picture he drew it has 3 stick figures outside a house each

"It's me you and Daddy all outside our house" Chris explains Eddie smiles he likes the sound of that, Buck looks and smiles

"Its brilliant mate, but what's the brown blob next to your dad looks like he had an accident" Buck jokes

"No silly that's the dog we get" Chris says with a cheeky grin

"Thank you, for been here both of you" Buck says looking at them both

"its fine I said we would be, how about you get some sleep need get you in tip top shape so the doctor will let you out" Eddie says and he climbs off the bed and then picks up Chris and walks him to the chair and then walks back to the bed where Buck has lied down but looking at Eddie but also can see Chris and smiles, Eddie smiles back and watches Buck sleep

After a few hours Carla turns up at the window and Eddie walks out to talk to her making sure to watch Buck through the window

"How is our Buckaroo doing" She asks

"it's been a tough day didn't help with the police asking questions to which then we find out they weren't meant be hear so then he clamed up and wouldn't talk but we got him talking again and hopefully he can come home tomorrow, thanks for having Chris again tonight" He says

"Any time hun, have you told him about how you feel?" Carla asks

"No I don't want push that on him, I heard some of the things he went through and me adding this to all that wouldn't be fair, I just have be there for him as his friend" Eddie says looking at Buck

"I understand well I'll take Chris and you get some rest you look like you need it" Carla says and Eddie smiles as he walks in to the room and signals to Chris it's time to go so he packs his bag as he wanders over to Buck who is still asleep

"Bye Buck, I'll see you tomorrow" Chris says as he strokes Bucks cheek, Buck wakes up and smiles

"You will see you later mi amor" Buck says in a sleepy voice, Chris looks at his dad as Chris knows what it means but Eddie ushers Chris out before he says anything to Buck once outside he passes Carla the bag and hugs his son

"Dad why did Buck say Mi amor doesn't he know it means my love?" Chris questions and Carla looks at Eddie and smiles

"He's just confused I think he wanted say mi amigo, it will be because of the pain medicine he's on" Eddie says knowing he's going red he stands up and is greeted by Carla's big smile she embraces him in a hug "so mi amor, eh" She whispers

"yeah I kind of said it when I fell asleep last night and Buck thinks it means my Friend I panicked when he questioned me this morning when he asked me what it means I didn't think he would use it" Eddie explains

"Its fine it's funny that he heard you say and you said it meant something else so he's using it not knowing" Carla says as she breaks the hug

"See you soon buddy" Eddie says as he kisses the top of Chris's head and watches them both walk down the Corridor

He walks back in the room Buck is out cold so Eddie brings the chair over to settle and try get as much sleep as he can as he starts nodding Buck starts talking in his sleep

"No please I'll be good I don't want to I said no" Buck says as he sleeps and starts tossing and then wakes up screaming which makes Eddie jumps up and go straight to Buck taking hold of him

"It's ok Buck im here it was just a nightmare" Eddie says

"But it happened I can't ever forget it Eddie I said no and he didn't stop" Buck says as he sobs

"When you say he didn't stop after you said no do you mean he…" Eddie couldn't bring himself to say the word he knew if he said it he wouldn't know what he would do

"Rape me, he raped me Eddie it's something I can't forget and every time I try sleep I see him" Buck says and holds Eddie tight, Eddie doesn't know what say he just hold him the anger building up inside he wanted to beat the monsters up for what they had done but knew it would help.

Eddie held Buck till he felt him go sleep and place him back down his head on the pillow and pulled the cover up to keep him warm and Eddie sat back down on the chair the thoughts of what Aaron had put Buck through all for money, he sat there all night unable to sleep just watching Buck making sure he was ok he didn't know how he was going make this better for him but he was going to try


	9. Chapter 9

Eddie was awoken by the sound of Buck coughing loudly, as he woke he saw Buck with the nurse he was stood up and she was checking his ribs and to see how the bruises were going Eddie couldn't help but stare at Bucks black and blue torso and he wished he could kiss them away, after she had finished checking him he sat back in the bed and was just quiet not making a sound.

"The doctor will be in shortly to see you" she said as she smiled at Buck who just looked blankly at her

Eddie wanders over to the bed to see how Buck is

"Hey how you feeling" He asks knowing its stupid question but didn't know what else say

Buck just smiled and looked at him not wanting to speak; Eddie smiled back at him and handed over a glass of water for him to drink

"So do you think I can break him out today?" He asks the nurse

"His bruises don't seem to be getting worse, his ribs all he can do is rest and his cuts are all covered and looking fine I'd say he be ok to go but it's down to the doctor" She says as she walks out

"Hear that it sounds like you can be coming back with me today" Eddie says smiling at Buck who just looks at him and says nothing, so Eddie sits on Bucks bed waiting for him to say something but after 20 minutes no words came out just the odd glance at Eddie.

The nurse comes back in with some breakfast for Buck and also passes Eddie some and smiles

"You shouldn't get any as you're not a patient but I won't tell if you don't" she says with a wink and she sees Buck smile, as she walks out he sits down at the chair and starts to eat his food but notices Buck not eating so he hops back on to the bed in front of him

"Come on mate you gotta eat if you want get out of here" Eddie says pushing the bowl of porridge close to Buck

"What's the point" Buck replies

"The point is I want get you out of here and I bet you want out as well don't you" Eddie replies

"What so people can take pity on me and only talk to me because of what happened" Buck says in a low tone

"no people won't think like that we all handled everything badly but we can sort that when you're ready but I want you home so we can try get the happy Buck we all know and love" Eddie says

"What if I can never be that Buck again" Buck say looking down at the porridge pushing the spoon round in it

"we can cross that bridge once your healed up, let's get you back where you can be comfy and away from this horrible food" Eddie says pointing at the porridge

"Well it tastes better than your cooking" Buck smiled and looked at Eddie and laughed

"Im glad you can joke but I think you'll find im a better cook than you, I know you buy takeaways in and try pass them off as your own cooking" Eddie says laughing

"Well ill have prove you wrong then" Buck says as he takes a mouthful of porridge pulling his face as he eats it, Eddie just looks and smiles even if it was a short thing he still got see that smile of Bucks, as they finish up breakfast and Eddie tidy's up the Doctor walks in, and Buck looks straight at her

"Hi Mr Buckley, How are we feeling today?" She asks

"Sore but better" He replies

"Well that's good to hear and I'm happy with your progress and knowing you will be looked after when you leave so I'm happy to let you leave under the condition if you have any trouble you come straight back" She says

"I'll bring him back if there are any problems" Eddie pipes up and Buck smiles

"Well ill go get your discharge papers sorted so if you want to get changed so you're ready to go when I have them" She explains "let me get these off you" She says as she starts to take the wires and iv off him so he was wire free, she then takes her leave and Buck looks at Eddie who is messing in the bag that was dropped off by Carla the other day.

"What you doing?" Buck asks looking at Eddie

"Oh I got Carla pack you a change of clothes as I knew you would need some when we come to leave, good thing you left some at mine a few months ago before everything" Eddie says as he walks over and passed the clothes to Buck

"I was wondering where my hoodie had gone it's my favourite, I'm surprised you kept them and didn't just chuck them" Buck says

"Well I knew we would eventually sort everything so I kept them" Eddie states

Buck climbs off the bed and heads to the restroom to get changed, as he walks Eddie watches him wishing he could be there to see a naked Buck, but then he shakes his head

"Can't think like that" he says abit too loudly

"What you say?" Buck shouts from the restroom

"Nothing just hurry up" Eddie states

In the rest room Buck starts to get changed taking off his hospital gown he stopped and spends a couple of minutes looking at his damaged body

'Look at what you caused been so dumb got you this way, Eddie is only here out of pity'

He runs his hands over the bruises and winces at the pain, and then looks at his face it's not as swollen as it was when he first got in the hospital but still see signs of swelling he could feel tears forming and running down his cheeks at how weak he had become and how he couldn't stop it happening nor the fact he let it happen.

As Buck is busy looking at the mirror he jumps as there's a knock at the door

"Hey you ok in there?" Eddie asks

"ermm yeh fine won't be long" Buck says back and starts to get himself sorted slowly pushing his arms through the sleeves wincing as he stretches his arms he pulls on the joggers and slips on his trainers, he quickly washes his face to try hide the redness from his tears to try hide he had been crying, he tossed the gown in to the basket and walked out Eddie was sat in the chair looking at his phone smiling

"Anything good?"Buck asks

"Just Chris informing me of how he's making Carla run him round" Eddie replies

"That kid is diffidently a charmer" Buck says with a smile

Buck sits back on his bed and Eddie walks over to him and sits next to him

"So can we talk about last night? I understand if you don't want to but you need to tell the police" Eddie asks

"Please Eddie, I don't want to not yet especially after the other day where we had them Officers come I can't trust them not yet" Buck replies and Eddie can see the tears forms so he opens his arms and Buck leans in and holds him close

"It's ok Buck ill leave it for now, let's get you back to mine and get you settled" Eddie says as they break and sit there, Buck uses his sleeve to wipe away the tears and smells a different aftershave on his hoodie

"Have you been wearing my hoodie Eddie?" Buck asks and Eddie is caught off guard and doesn't know what say he can feel his cheeks going red; he had in fact been wearing it as it made him feel close to Buck even though they were apart

Before Eddie could answer they were interrupted by the doctor coming in

"well Mr Buckley here is your discharged papers and prescription of painkillers and antibiotics, Mr Diaz any problem please bring him back, your free to go" She says with a smile, Buck gets off the bed and shakes the doctors hand while Eddie slowly gets up thanking god for making the intervention happen, he walks over and grabs the bag and takes the prescription bag and places it inside and they start walking out to the car park where Eddie had his truck, taking their time as Buck couldn't walk fast, they arrive to the doors that lead outside and Buck stops and Eddie looks at him

"You ok? I know it going be tough leaving but you are fine I promise" Eddie says

"It's just here I was ok from everything and when I go through them doors people will see how weak I am" Buck starts to say and Eddie touches his hand to distract him

"You aren't weak, you are strong lets go and show everyone how strong you are" Eddie says with a smile

"Ok but promise me that no one will come visit today I just want be on my own" Buck asks

"I can put people off but you won't be alone you will have me and Chris with you" Eddie says

"that's fine" Buck says and starts walking out the door, Eddie walks behind as Buck walks through the door and stops to take in the fresh air after a minute he starts walking and Eddie points to where the car is parked once they get in to the car Eddie opens it and Buck climbs in, as Eddie places the bag on the back seat and walks round to the driver's side.

As he opens the door to the driver's side he looks down past his car and sees a figure stood in the bushes he moves to the back of the car and realises who it is, Aaron is stood there watching Eddie turns and gets in the car and starts to drive off but knows they will have to pass Aaron on Bucks side

"Hey can you get me my sunglasses out the glove box they may be at the back" Eddie asks

"It's not even sunny" Buck says

"still there's glare on the road so please" Eddie says and Buck bends and starts looking just as they pass Aaron Eddie just looks at him and Aaron waves at him but Buck doesn't see him. The drive to Eddies was filled with silence Eddie thinking about Aaron and Buck was just thinking how he got himself in to this mess

"Nearly there" Eddie says trying to break the silence he quickly, Buck just looks over and smiles

"Yeh can't wait to just shower and sleep, I can smell the hospital still" Buck says

"Well when we get in you can shower and I'll get pizza ordered save cooking, Chris is staying at a mates" Eddie says as he starts to pull in his drive

"Oh I thought he be here" Buck says looking sad

"He wanted to but I thought you could do with a quiet night especially with it been your first night, you will see him tomorrow I promise" Eddie explains

"Ok thank you" Buck says as he gets out the passenger side and Eddie walks round and grabs the bag off the back seat and he opened the front door to let Buck in, but Buck stopped once he got on the porch and was looking down at the faded spot where his blood had pooled and stained the wood.

"what did I bring to your door Eddie I'm so sorry" Buck started to sob and Eddie just chucked the bag in and grabbed hold of Buck pulling him in to a hug as he held him close he could feel Buck sobbing but Buck hadn't lifted his arms to hug Eddie just kept his arms at his side

"It's ok Buck, let's get you inside ey" Eddie says breaking his hold and moving Buck in to the house he sits him on the sofa and goes to the kitchen and starts making coffee as he does he sends a text to Athena to let her know what happened when they left, he put the phone down as he made the drinks and took them to where Buck was sat and passed him a cup and he just sat in front of Buck not saying anything just watching his friend who he loved but couldn't tell tears rolling down his face.

Eddie just sat there he didn't want push Buck to much he knew coming out the hospital was going be hard it could have been a lot harder if he had seen Aaron, just as he sat there he heard his phone go off in the kitchen and he got up to go see who it was when he unlocked his phone he saw it was Athena she said they had looked at the cctv but couldn't see him but would send someone round to watch the house tonight.

Eddie sighed in relief at least that's one less thing to worry about he finished his coffee and read the messages Chris had sent him.

Buck sat there just looking at his coffee seeing tears fall to the floor he tried to drink some but couldn't face it so he placed it down on the table where Eddie had been sitting and put his hood up on his hoodie and got up he noticed Eddie was on his phone and not paying any attention so headed to the back of the house to go and sleep, he found Eddies room and the bed the room was a mess and Buck smiled, he climbed on to the bed and curled up as he started to drift off.

Eddie put his phone down and looked over to the sofa Buck had gone panic had set in he knew he hadn't heard the front door go so he quickly checked the bathroom and Chris's room and it clicked he must have gone for a lie down, Eddie knew his room was a mess he was going sort it but forgot so he pushed the door open and saw Buck on the bed hoodie up and asleep he grabbed a blanket and draped it over him and left the room whilst he slept

As he closes the door and walked in to the front room there was a knock at the front door Eddie knew no one was due to come so he opened the door slowly and smiled when he saw his abuela

"Edmundo mi querido nino (my dear boy)" She says

"Abuela what are you doing here, I said for no one come round" He says shocked she was there

"I know but I have food can't have poor Buck eating your food" she says as she holds up a bowl with tin foil over

"First I can cook second I was going order pizza in when he wakes up "Eddie explained

"No haras tal cosa (you will not do such a thing)" She says as she pushes past him and heads to the kitchen and places the bowl on the side

"Thank you but you didn't have to we are fine" Eddie says

"I know but I worry about you, it will keep till later" she says as she brings him in to a hug

"Thanks for been here, I'm just worried about Buck, I don't know how to help" Eddie says resting his head on her shoulder she breaks the hug and looks at him

"You are helping he's here with you where he is safe and know he is loved by both you and Chris" she says

"Well that's what friends are for" Eddie replies

"Come on Edmundo I maybe old but I ain't dumb I know you love him more than a friend I've seen the way you light up when you see or speak about him and how much you missed him" She says

"Abuela shhh he's only in the other room" Eddie says knowing he's gone red "I can't say anything not after everything that's happened to him I just need be a friend and support him "he says

"What about you though Eddie you deserve happiness after everything you've been through too "she asks

"I will be fine, I am happy I have Buck here as a friend and he's safe and that will do for now" he says

"Ok Eddie but please just think about what I said, call me if you need anything" She says as she heads to the door to leave

"I will" Eddie says as he hugs her and she leaves the house he closes the door and walks back to the kitchen and moves the bowl of food in to oven for later on, he heads to the front room and puts the TV on its 4pm he starts watching some random cooking show and nods off.

"Chase I'm sorry about the money" Buck says in his dream

"Not good enough you cost me so much" Chase snarls at him

"Please I'm sorry" Buck says

A slap comes across his face and he sees Aaron

"Told you about that word" Aaron laughs as he stands next to Chase the both of them looking down at Buck.

"If I could take it back I would and you could have had you money" Buck says

Chase lifts his foot and goes to kick Buck in the face which prompts Buck to wake up screaming as he does Eddie comes charging in

"Hey I'm here you're ok, it's just a nightmare" Eddie says sitting next to him

Buck still doesn't realise he wakes and still continues to mutter things much to Eddie horror

"Please Chase I can sort money to make up for the millions I lost you I promise, just please don't hurt me" Buck says looking blankly into the room

"Buck I'm here, what your seeing isn't happening it's a flashback just breathe" Eddie says as he starts stroking Bucks arm trying to break the flashback which he can tell is causing loads of distress, Buck has tears rolling down his eyes and he turns to Eddie

"Eddie, I'm here with you, what happened I was dreaming but then I thought I woke and it was still happening" Buck says crying

"It was a flashback, but you're fine, let me go get some tissues" Eddie says as he walks in to the bathroom to get some tissues

"Did he really give up the all that money to come back to work but why would he do it" Eddie thinks to himself as he walks back to the bedroom and passes Buck the tissues so he can wipe his face and sits next to him, he notices the clock and its now 9pm he had nodded off for a fair few hours but he needed it.

"How about I make us a drink and get some food, and don't worry I haven't cooked it my Abuela dropped us some food off ill just reheat it I didn't think we slept so long" Eddie says

"Ok" is all Buck can mange

"Come through when you're ready, will take about 20 mins to get it warm enough eat" Eddie says as he gets up and heads to the kitchen to start warming the food up and making a drink

'So pathetic, can't even see what's real and not Eddie must think I'm a joke'

Buck sat there thinking these thoughts for a few minutes and then decided to head out before Eddie came back looking for him as he walked down the hall he was looking at the floor not wanting to look ahead as he walked past he caught another glimpse of where he had left blood from where Eddie had him on the floor all he could do as look at the little stain of blood and then like a flash he was back in his apartment with Chase and Aaron he shook his head to bring him back to reality but could hear them still he ran in to Eddies bathroom jumped in the shower and turned it on and just sat with the water bouncing off his hooded head drowning out there voices.

'I'm messed up, no one will want me now I'm broken, I can't even keep it together anymore'

"I'm such a screw up, it would have been better if they finished the job" Buck says out loud

"You're not a screw up Buck and everyone would have missed you" Eddie says as he turns of the water

Buck looks up he hadn't realised he had said them words out loud and can see Eddie sat on the other side of the tub looking at him

'Great now he thinks you're crazy'

"Hey Buck what are you thinking? And don't say nothing its obvious it's not nothing" Eddie asks as he can see he is thinking

"Its just.." Buck starts but can't continue

"It's ok Buck remember no pressure, is it about the attack?" Eddie asks and Buck just nods

"ok well how about we get you out the tub get you changed and we sit and talk if you don't want to just say and ill drop it, but keeping it bottled up doesn't help I should know" Eddie says standing up holding his hand out for Buck to hold on to as he stands up once stood he feels Eddie wrap a towel round him

"It's a good thing I have so many of your clothes here isn't it" he says as he passes Buck some clothes to change in to and leaves the room wishing he could stay but now is not the time, he walks to the kitchen and starts plating the food and placing it on the table as Buck walks through and takes a seat

"Smells good" He says smiling

"You're just saying that because you know I haven't cooked it" Eddie says trying to lighten the mood and making Buck feel at ease

"True" Buck smiles

Buck looks at the food and starts eating it, knowing he needs to start eating better so tries to finish the plate and he does

"Hungry I guess" Eddie asks

"Yeh it was better than hospital food" Buck replies

"Can I ask you something? If you don't want say just tell me ok" Eddie says

"Ok" Buck replies

"How much did you give up from the lawsuit?" Eddie asks and Buck looks at him shocked

"How did you know about that?" Buck asks not sure how Eddie had found out

"You were talking during you nightmare and flashback" Eddie says looking at Buck

"Errmm a few million, but I didn't take it" Buck replies

"Why didn't you take it? You could have been set for life" Eddie asks looking puzzeled

"I wanted get back to y.. the whole team you were all family that's why I dropped it" Buck answered looking flustered

"so it explains why Chase did this im guessing payback" Eddie says

Buck didn't know how to answer so he just nodded and wiped the tears away he could feel forming, Eddie stood up and Buck flinched at the quick movement but tried not show it

"Sorry I shouldn't have moved to quick" Eddie says noticing Buck flinch

"No I'm s" Buck says stopping himself from saying sorry

"you can say it you know I don't mind" Eddie says knowing that Buck is scared to say the sorry word, he moves over to Buck and takes his empty plate to go clean it

"I'll do it you sit down" Buck says ushering Eddie to sit

As buck places the plates and other bits in the sink to soak he drinks his drink and Eddie gets a call

"I got take this I won't be a min" Eddie says as he turns and starts talking Buck knows its Carfla he can hear her down the phone he smiles and starts cleaning as Eddie continues Buck finishes up cleaning so starts drying them and as he picks the last plate it slips falling to the floor and smashing and Buck instantly drops to the floor

"I'll call you back" Eddie says after seeing Buck fall to the floor

"Buck you ok, what you doing get up" Eddie says looking at Buck who's just on all fours his good hand over the shards

"Im ready for my punishment, I shouldn't have broke the plate" Buck says you can hear the fear in his voice

Eddie didn't know what say he was in shock at what he is seeing

"Bbuck get up" Eddie says

"No I need to be punished "Buck says as he grabs Eddies leg and tries to pull it over, but Eddie stands firm and doesn't let his leg move, he bends down and hooks his hands under Bucks armpits and pulls him

"Buck" Eddie says as he gets Buck up and sat on the seat and starts checking the hand to make sure no shards were there, but it was fine he looks at Bucks face tears streaming down his face, Eddie just wraps his arms round him Buck buries his head in to Eddies shoulders and crys

"Buck you are safe, you never have be like that again ok" Eddie says just holding Buck and he feels Buck put his arms round Eddie and they stay there for ages until Buck lets go of Eddie so Eddie lets go of Buck and looks at his face

"I'm sorry about the plate" Buck says

"It's a plate, nothing to worry about you sit there while I clean up ok" Eddie says as he gets the dustpan and brush and starts sweeping up the plate shards and putting them in the bin, he quickly makes a coffee for him and Buck and ushers Buck to the sofa so he has something more comfortable to sit on.

"Better" Eddie asks as he hands him a cup of coffee

"Yeah I'm sorry again" Buck says looking down

"It's ok Buck all I care about is that your ok" Eddie says taking a seat next to Buck

"Thank you Eddie" Buck says looking at Eddie with his puffy red eyes

"Its fine, you know I'd never hurt you don't you?" Eddie asks

"I know you wouldn't Eddie its just how…. Never mind can we just watch tv please" Buck changed his mind and wants to forget

"Of course here is the remote" Eddie says as he passes the remote to Buck

who starts flicking through and ends up putting the Simpsons on, after the first episode Buck shifts so he's leaning on Eddie his head resting on Eddies shoulder and starts yawning, Eddie doesn't say anything he's enjoying been this close to Buck and sits there while the next episode starts and they sit watching it after a few minutes Eddie notices Buck has nodded of so he uses a hand and brushes Bucks hair he's waited so long to do this he's so happy but wishes it was under better circumstances, he fishes out his phone and takes a picture of them both, he puts his phone away and sits there watching the show as Buck sleeps knowing any sleep he gets will help.

After a few episodes Buck still hasn't woke and Eddie decides maybe to just sleep there so he moves one arm slowly knowing there a blanket down the side of the sofa and brings it up and spreads it over him and Buck, he turns the TV off and nods off in to a happy sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Morning came and Buck slowly woke up and blinked his eyes at the light. He realised he was on the sofa, lying down but was unsure where his head was. The last thing he remembered was he was resting on Eddies shoulder. He slowly moved and realised his head was now resting on Eddies lap and Eddie was asleep sitting up and one of Eddie's hand resting over Bucks body.

**_'I don't want this to end it's so nice'_**

Buck decides he wants to stay like this for a little longer so he just nods back to sleep smiling, after a while he is awoken when Eddie tries to lift his head gently and not disturb him which he fails.

"Hey." Buck says wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Ah sorry, I was trying to be careful." Eddie says getting up and stretching.

"It's fine I was waking up anyway." Buck says as he sits up.

Buck looks up and stares at Eddie who looks a bit rough from sleeping sitting up, he smiles at him, who is busy stretching so he doesn't see Buck looking. He then looks down and removes the blankets off him.

"So, what you fancy for breakfast?" Eddie asks looking down.

"I'm not that hungry if I'm honest." Buck said.

"You got to eat Buck. I'll make some pancakes." Eddie explains as he heads over to the kitchen and starts to get the ingredients out and started mixing them together.

"Can I help?" Buck asks, walking over.

"No, you go freshen up. I was thinking we need chat after." Eddie says with a serious tone.

"Oh right, what about?" Buck asks concerned.

"Don't worry it's nothing bad. Just go get freshened up and I'll make the pancakes." Eddie says

**_'He thinks your useless he is going want you gone'_**

Buck heads towards to the bedroom and grabs a change of clothes and heads towards the bathroom. He closes the door and strips out of his clothes, peels off the bandages coverings his cuts. He needs to replace them, so he plans do them after he's showered. Once they're all off he looks in the mirror at his still bruised ribs along with the other bruises along his body he could feel tears forming at the state of himself.

**_'You deserved it all, you brought it on yourself'_**

He looked at his cuts and knew they would scar eventually. He shook his head and leaned in to the bath to turn the shower on once it was warm enough he stepped in and started to shower washing himself but taking his time not to catch his injuries to quick. Once he's done, he steps out and dries off and puts his clean clothes on and picks up the bag of bandages and cream and heads towards the kitchen where he can smell pancakes. He walks in and smiles at the sight of Eddie who has flour over him and looks stressed.

"What is going on?" Buck asks, smiling at the sight.

"Ermm it's all going wrong, I've burnt the first ones, then tried making more but I dropped the bag but it's going to be ready soon, so take a seat." Eddie says as he continues to pour the batter and make more.

Buck sits at the table and gets the cream out and starts applying it to his cuts, wincing at the pain as the cream settles on the wounds. He closes his eyes for a minute while he waits for the stinging to pass. As his eyes were closed, he heard something in front of him he opened his eyes to a stack of pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Give me a minute and I'll help bandage the wounds up for you." Eddie said, pouring two cups of coffee. He places them down along with the two plates and heads to the sink and washes his hands, and once his hands were dry, he heads back to the table and takes a seat next to Buck. Buck turned to Eddie and handed him the gauze and bandages. Eddie then starts to cover them with gauze first being as gentle as possible not wanting to hurt him. Once all the gauze is on he starts wrapping the bandages round them and taping them so they don't fall off.

"Thanks, it's easier with a second pair of hands." Buck says, gratefully.

"Well, I did promise the doctor to look after you." Eddie says getting up and moving round the table picking up three pancakes and placing them on Bucks side of the table and 4 on his own side of the table before sitting down in front of his plate.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Buck asks in a worried tone.

"I don't know how say it without sounding harsh." Eddie says running his hand through his hair "I think you need go to the police and give your statement. I know you don't want talk about it, but the longer you leave it, I'm worried they won't be able to do anything and that will play on your mind." Eddie says looking at Buck trying figure out what he was thinking and if he had crossed the line with what he said.

Buck looked at Eddie. To be honest he knew Eddie was right, but at the same time he didn't want relive the whole ordeal. But he knew Eddie was right. If he left it to late there would be nothing the police could do.

"Okay." was all Buck could say, he didn't know what else to say. He was so unsure about doing it but he wanted to show he was strong.

"Are you sure?" Eddie says as he takes another mouthful of pancake.

"I'm sure; just promise me that you will be with me when I do it." Buck says looking at Eddie hoping for reassurance from him.

"I will be, I told you I have your back remember" Eddie says smiling

"Thanks, Eddie." Buck says as he slowly eats the food.

They sit in silence as they finished breakfast. Once they were done, Eddie heads to the shower to get freshened up. When Eddie was in the shower, Buck sat at the table finishing the last bites of the pancakes, he heard Eddie's phone going off he looked at who's calling in case it was Chris, but it wasn't he saw Maddie's name he didn't want answer it, so just left it and finished eating. He placed the empty dishes in the sink and went to sit on the sofa.

**_'They will see how weak you truly are later'_**

He sat there for what feels like hours, but it was only minutes and his deep thoughts were disturbed when he saw Eddie stood there by the shower all dressed and looking mighty fine.

"So you ready? I know we only just talked about it but let's get it out the way and then we can spend the rest of the day together. You can play games and build Legos with Chris." Eddie says.

"Yeah let's get it done." Buck says as he signals Eddie to pass his trainers. He slips them on and gets up he slips on his jacket; he looks at Eddie who just smiles at him.

**_'He is so dam cute, stop it you will ruin it all stop been useless'_**

They head to the door and head on out and jumping in Eddie's car. They drive to the police station. During the whole way there, Buck hadn't said a single thing. Eddie could see he was deep in thought, he didn't know how today was going go, but he was happy the fact Buck had agreed to go and give his statement.

"We're here, are you ready to go in, or do you want to wait?" Eddie asks.

Buck didn't answer, he just stepped out the vehicle and started walking to the door of the station, and Eddie jumped out quickly and locked his pickup and caught up with Buck as they entered the station. As they walked up to the desk, there was an officer at there.

"Can I help you sir?" the officer asks.

Buck just looked and didn't say anything.

Eddie intervened "Is it possible to speak to Sergeant Grant please? If yes, please say its Eddie and Evan she will know what it means."

Buck looks at Eddie and mouths _thank you_, the officer points for them to take a seat on the chairs in the hallway. As they sat there, Eddie watched as Buck started tapping his foot and picking at his nails. He could tell Buck was getting anxious, so he put his hand on Bucks shoulder which made Buck jump a bit but turn his head to Eddie.

"It will be ok, I promise." Eddie says giving him that Diaz smile.

"Boys, what are you doing here?" Athena asks as she walks up to them.

Eddie stands and gives her a hug; she looks at Buck who can only just stare at her.

"What can I do for you?" She asks.

Eddie stares at Buck waiting for Buck to say it as he doesn't want to push him too much.

"I'm here to report the abuse I've suffered at the hands of my ex." Buck says as he stands up

Eddie smiles at Athena who lets out a sigh and walks over to Buck and holds her arms open for a hug, Buck is hesitant but he leans in and hugs her.

"That's fine I'll get a detective and I will be in there with you." She says

She leads them down to an interview room and asks them to wait there while she gets a detective. Once she returns, she opens the door and they go in, but Eddie is stopped.

"Sorry, you can't be in there while we interview." the detective states.

"But I promised him I would be there." Eddie explains.

"If you are in there with him, it can put what he says in to dispute and a conflict of interest as they can claim you pushed him to say it." The detective explains.

Eddie looks over and sees Athena she leans over to Buck and says "Look Buck, I know you want Eddie in here with you and I get this is hard, but he has to stay outside okay?" Athena explains

"I don't want do it if he's not here, please Athena." Buck says tears starting to form

She smiles at him and walks to the door ushering the detective and Eddie outside

"Eddie, I need you speak to him and explain you can't be in here when he gives his statement it's important that we get this done, but I don't want push him too much." Athena said.

"Ok, give me a minute." Eddie says as he walks into the room and sees Buck there head in his hands, sitting at the table. Eddie walks over and sits next to Buck, who turns to look at Eddie his eyes are red from where he had been wiping the tears away.

"Hey bud, I know I promised to be here but I can't, if I stay they can turn what you say into a lie as they may try say I pushed you to say it, but I will be outside the whole time. I will not move from the door and you have Athena in here with you. She will look after you and once you are done ''I will be at the door." Eddie explains as he rubs Bucks arm.

Buck doesn't say anything, but he nods and Eddie gets up and walks out the door. As he passes through the door, the detective and Athena walks in. Athena rubs his shoulder as she passes Eddie to silently say thank you and closes the door. Eddie just stands there staring at the door.

Athena and the detective take a seat in front of Buck and press the record button.

"Today's date is 17th November 2019, time is 10:45am, I'm Detective Tapping, in with Sgt Athena Grant and interviewing Evan Buckley, can you explain to us why you are here today, please Mr Buckley?" The detective asks in a level tone.

"I'm here to report abuse I received from my ex boyfriend Aaron Jackson." Buck explains

"Can you give us the details of exactly what kind of abuse and where it happened?" Athena asks.

"The first time was when he dropped boiling water over my leg, he made me think I had tripped it but now the more I remember, the more I now know that I hadn't had my leg out and he had done it on purpose." Buck stated.

"Did you report the burn?" The detective asks.

"No, Aaron made me think I could deal with it with me been a first responder." Buck replied.

"Did you tell anyone about the burn like a family member or work colleague?" The detective asks.

"No, at the time I wasn't speaking to anyone at the firehouse so I kept it to myself as I thought they would think I was silly for causing the accident." Buck says as he wipes a tear away.

They spend the next 40 minutes going through all the physical and mental abuse Buck had been subjected to in such a small amount of time and going in to details of everything.

"Would you like to take a break?" Athena asks.

"No, I need to finish." Buck says looking at the door knowing that Eddie was behind it, which gave him the courage to continue.

"The next question may be hard to answer, but we need to know, did he ever force himself on you?" The detective asks and Athena could only look at the detective she didn't want look at Buck till he had answered.

"Yes, on the 5Th November he forced himself upon me after hitting me over the head, he tied my arms up and-" Buck stopped as he starts to sob "He-he raped me. I said no, I told him I would be good and to stop and he didn't, afterwards he made me feel like it was my idea but it wasn't." He just let out a loud sob.

The door opened and Eddie came running in.

"Interview suspended at 11:35." Athena says and looks at the detective, who nodded grimly.

"We will give you 5 minutes" Athena says and nods to Eddie who is holding Buck close as he sobs on Eddies shoulder.

"It's ok bud, you've done so well, I'm so proud of you. Look, you have told the worst parts. you now have got a tiny bit more to do and we can leave. Remember I'm right outside that door. I'm sorry what he did, but I'm here okay?" Eddie says as he holds Buck.

Athena walks back in the room and taps Eddie that it's time for him to go outside the door again. he pats Buck on his back and he looks up. Eddie smiles at him and breaks the hug.

"I'm right outside." Eddie reminds him once again as he gets up and heads out.

"You ready Evan?" the detective says and Buck just nods once with a determined look on his face.

"Interview resumed at 11:45, Detective Tapping, Sgt Athena Grant and Evan Buckley." The detective says

"Ok Evan, after he raped you what happened?" asks the detective.

"I laid there and drifted off to sleep the next day I went to work and just got on with my job." Buck explains

"So, you didn't inform anyone?" the detective asks.

"No, I thought they wouldn't care and would only think I was saying it to get them to talk to me so I didn't bother." Buck explains and he looked up and could see Athena was trying to hold back the anger.

"Do you have any evidence of this happening?" The detective asks

"No, why would I, I'm not making this up, why would I?" Buck asks getting a bit angry.

"Evan we aren't saying you are its just without any evidence it makes it harder and were just after all the facts to help your case." Athena calmly says, making Buck nod in understanding.

"Why don't you explain what happened on the 13th November?" The detective asks

"Yes, it was a long day at work and Aaron came back from his work trip early and met me at work he had a run in with Eddie, on the way home he wasn't happy once we got in he went upstairs and I started dinner, as I was plating it up, he came behind me and hit me with across the head with something made of glass I fell to the floor in pain, as I lay there he kicked me and told me to stop lying." Buck states.

"What did he think you were lying about?" The detective asks.

"Eddie had texted saying I could talk to him anytime, he thought I had said something about what he had done to me but I didn't, he kicked me again I put my hands down to try get up and he stamped on my hand I fell and he kept kicking me in the ribs he then walked round and kicked me in the back." Buck says.

"Would you like to take a break?" Athena asked.

"Can we continue? I just want this over" Buck replied.

"So, you're on the floor what happened next?" The detective asks.

"He picked up the pan of food and poured it over me, he watched me for a while before asking if I had been meeting Eddie in secret which I hadn't. He then kicked me in the face as he went to do it a second time there was a knock at the door." Buck continues as he wipes the tears away.

"Who was at the door?" asks the detective.

"It was Chase Mackey. He was my lawyer for the lawsuit against the fire department; he had turned up as Aaron had messaged him. They talked about the plan moving quicker than they expected as people were getting too involved, they walked over and Aaron picked me up and Chase punched me in the stomach and he told me this was payback for costing him the money from the lawsuit." Buck starts to cry "Aaron explained that him and Chase had set the whole thing up him meeting me at the bar, saying that they knew I would be easy as I was dumb, they used the lawsuit to cause distress between me and the team so I would depend on Aaron more and basically only trust him and what he asked me to do, they kick me a few more times then get some beer out they drink some as they pour some over me, they then go upstairs and start trashing my flat I saw the door open and made my escape." Buck sighs as he finished his story.

"Once you escaped, you walked to Edmundo Diaz's house, why?" The detective asks.

"What do you mean why? I knew he would be there for me and would protect me." Buck says

"Well, I'm just asking as you said the team disowned you so I find it weird you would go there." The detective says looking confused.

"After everything that happened, I knew Eddie would help even if we weren't talking." Buck said confidently.

"That's all, Mr Buckley thank you for your statement." The detective said to Buck.

"Interview finished at 13:10." The detective says formally.

As soon as the stop button is pressed, Buck is up out his seat and straight out the door as he opens it he see's Eddie standing there, he grabs hold of him and holds him tight to himself and falls to the floor. Eddie drops with him just holding him close.

"Buck, you did so well I'm proud of you." Eddie said.

"If you want to, you can use the interview room till your ready leave." Athena says looking at Eddie.

He nods and helps Buck up who is sobbing so loud, they walk into the room and Athena closes the door and stands outside. Eddie breaks the hug and sits Buck down.

"I'm sorry Buck that you felt you couldn't talk to me or to the team, we never wanted to do that, I knew I should have pushed when you started distancing yourself, but I was so wrapped up in myself, I didn't and I'm sorry. But right now I'm here for you." Eddie says looking at Buck who just sits there, his arms on the table and his head on top of it.

After five minutes there's still no answer from Buck, and Eddie starts to worry. He places a hand on Bucks back and rubs it.

"Hey, how about we pick up Chris and go back to mine?" Eddie asks.

Buck sits up and looks at Eddie his face is red from the crying and nods.

"I'll go speak to Athena and then we shall go, just wait here okay?" Eddie asks as he gets up and heads to the door and walks through it closing it behind him.

"Athena, what happens now?" Eddie asks seriously.

"We process the interview and bring them both in for questioning, but the problem is lack of evidence, but I'm more concerned how Buck will cope. He looked so broken just now." she replies, looking sad.

"I know, we will have to take each day as it comes," Eddie says.

"How are you dealing with this, Eddie? I know this is a lot to take in and I know how you feel for him so it can't be easy." She says shaking her head.

"I've just pushed my feelings for him to the side. My main priority is helping him through this." Eddie explains.

"Well, you know where Bobby and I are if you need to talk, I know he might not want to, but try and see if he wants to come round for Thanksgiving" Athena says.

"Thank you. I will see what he says, we have a few days, but I'm hoping he will. Well, I'm going get him out of here. Thanks for today." Eddie says as he gives her a hug.

He walks back in to the interview room and walks up to Buck.

"Let's get you home," Eddie says.

Buck gets up and they head to out and to the car. The whole walk out, Buck keeps his head down not wanting to see anyone. They get in the car and head to pick up Chris, Buck stays in the car as Eddie fetches him and puts him in the backseat of the car.

"Hey Buck." Chris says with a smile on his face.

"Hey Buddy, did you have a good time?" Buck asks, his tone sounding down.

"I did, why do you sound sad?" Chris asks worriedly.

"Hey bud, how about we let Buck rest as we drive home, you can play with your tablet." Eddie says looking at Chris and Chris nods realising his Dad's specific look on his face.

They drive home and all get out and head into the house. Buck walks straight to the bedroom, closes the door and just climbs under the covers.

"Dad, what's up with Buck?" Chris asks, looking at the closed door.

"He's just had a bad day which has made him sad. How about we sit and watch TV and he may come out in a bit, what do you fancy for dinner?" Eddie ask

"Can we have pizza it will cheer up Buck too?" Chris asks.

"Of course." Eddie says.

With the TV and Chris being distracted by it, the time has passed and it is 6pm and Eddie decides it's time for dinner so gets his phone out to order pizza.

"Hey Chris, why don't you go see what pizza Buck wants and I'll pour some juice for you." Eddie says smiling at Chris, knowing Buck won't say no to him, he felt bad for using Chris but he didn't want Buck to wallow on his own.

"Okay Dad." Chris says as he walks towards the bedroom.

He knocks on the door and walks in; Buck looks up to see who's there. He had fallen asleep the toll of the day had caught up on him.

"Hey buddy, what's up?" Buck says as he sits up

"Dad is ordering pizza what kind do you fancy?" Chris asks, sitting next to him carefully.

"Superman, I'm not hungry." Buck says.

"You got to eat, remember what you told me, eating makes you big and strong." Chris reminds him, smiling at Buck.

"Ok, you got me. Let's go order the biggest pizza we can." Buck says, with a small laugh getting up and giving Chris a hug.

"Please play with my Legos with me until it comes." Chris asks, giving Buck that look.

"Of course," Buck replies quickly, knowing that he could not deny the littlest Diaz anything he wanted from him with that look on his face.

They walk out the room and head to the front room where Eddie was sat on the sofa and three glasses of juice were on the coffee table.

"So, what's it to be?" Eddie asks with a raised eyebrow.

"The super duper pizza isn't it Buck?" Chris says, with a giggle.

"That it is, Bud." Buck says nodding.

Buck smiles and sits on the floor as Chris pulls out the Legos out his toy box and Eddie watches as he orders the pizza over the phone. He knew the next few days might be tough but if they worked together it would be all ok.

It had been a week since Buck had been to the police station and things hadn't been easy for Buck. His cuts had started to heal and bruises had started to fade, he had a few days where he wouldn't come out only to eat and other days he was like the old Buck, the police had informed him they hadn't found either Chase Mackey or Aaron to question that had set Buck off. He started worrying whether they would turn up and attack him out of no-where but Athena had reassured him they most likely had left the State now.

"Hey Buck, I need to talk to you," Eddie says, sitting up from his seat. They were on the couch watching TV.

"Yeah, what's up?" Buck asks, looking away from the TV to look at Eddie.

"Bobby as asked if I can start going back to the station as they're short and need help, which means I'll have leave you here on your own for a while." Eddie explains.

"I don't need to go back to my place, do I?" Buck asks, worriedly, wondering if he has been staying here too long.

"Of course not, you're welcome to stay here and look after Chris." Eddie says with a smile.

"That's okay. I mean, it might be tough but I'll have Chris to focus on and I'm sure I can call you if there is a problem, when do you have to start?" Buck asks.

"The 25th so, that's tomorrow, also Athena asked if you want go round their place for Thanksgiving I told her that I'd ask, but no pressure. If you don't want to, we can do our own thing instead." Eddie says

"Wow, that's so quick. Can I think about it? Thanksgiving I mean?" Buck asks smiling and Eddie nods, then they turn back to the TV and resumed to watching TV.

The next day, Eddie goes to work and leaves Buck to sort Chris out. The day goes well and he messages Eddie whenever he got nervous and Eddie would quickly call him when free to set his mind at ease. Buck fetches Chris from school and helps him with his homework and when Eddie returns they sorted out dinner. Buck also decided he would bite the bullet and go to Athena's and Bobby's for Thanksgiving. He knew it be okay, as Eddie and Chris would be with him so he got Eddie to say yes to Athena.

It got to the 28th and it was Thanksgiving day, Eddie was on shift with the rest of the 118 so he had agreed to take Chris to Athena's and help out before everyone turned up, he was sitting on Eddie's couch with Chris waiting, for Abuela to turn up with a pumpkin pie to take over to Bobby and Athena's. As they sat there, waiting they heard a car alarm going off. Buck looked out and saw that it was his jeep's alarm going off so he grabbed his keys and went out to the car to turn the alarm off and check it in case someone had accidentally hit it, Chris walked to the door and watched Buck as he went round the side he saw no damage and turned to head back to the house he stood still as he looked at the front door there stood a man in mask and he had hold of Chris with a knife in his hand held close to Chris.

"Let him go please." Buck said, scared at what was in front of him.

The figure didn't answer the next thing Buck knew he was hit over the head and started to fall he looked at Chris and saw the masked figure push Chris to the floor and saw Chris bang his head, the next thing he knew he was been picked up and chucked in the boot of a car.

"Told you babe, we would get you." He recognised the voice and the two mask figures pulled their masks off. It was Chase Mackey and Aaron, his ex-boyfriend.

"Is Chris okay?" Buck asks the first thing that came to his head.

But there was no reply from them, just another punch to the face. Buck was still awake and he could hear a woman scream Chris name. He vaguely thought the voice was familiar.

"Let's get out of here." Aaron said and they slam the boot shut.

"Get back here!" Abuela shouts angrily at the two men, but they had jumped back into the car and raced down the street.

Buck, in the boot now knows that Abuela is there with Chris but he doesn't know how badly injured he is, and then the thought set in: **_'what will happen to me?_**', he finally passed out.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Get back here!" Abuela shouts angrily at the two men, but they already had jumped back into the car and raced down the street. She then went over to Chris and she could see blood starting to appear she quickly called 9-1-1 to get help.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?" Maddie asks automatically.

"Help, my grandson is hurt. His head is bleeding," Abuela says panicking.

"Okay, can you tell me his name and what happened exactly?" Maddie asks calmly.

"His name is Christopher Diaz, I don't know what exactly happened I came round to bring some food over, and oh my god they took him." Abuela frantically says as she remembered the horrific scene she happened to see.

Maddie doesn't answer; she knew straight away who Abuela was referring to. That it was Buck who was taken.

"Hello?" Abuela asks confused when Maddie didn't answer.

Maddie then quickly said "It's okay, I've got people on the way there now. If you can get a towel and place it on Chris's head for me." Maddie says calmly.

"How do you know where we are?" Abuela asks not realising who was on the line.

"It's Maddie, Buck's sister. Don't worry, I have people on the way. I'll call Eddie now and explain what happened to him." She says.

"Oh, thank you." Abuela says as she hangs up.

Maddie looks at Josh for permission and he nods at her, she gets up and starts scrolling her phone contacts to call Eddie but she realises if she tells him he will rush off in a instant without any explanation, so she decides to call Bobby instead.

"Hey Maddie, what's up?" Bobby asks.

"Are you on a call or at the station?" She asks, biting her lip in hope that it was the latter.

"We are at the station. It's been quiet today, why?" Bobby enquires.

"Is Eddie close by?" She asks.

"No, I'm with Athena in my office sorting out the last minute things for later, what's going on? You're worrying me." Bobby says his tone laced with concern.

"I've just had Abuela on the line and Chris is injured and she said they took him. Oh my god, multiple people took Buck, you need to send Eddie home now. I have paramedics and police on the way and I'll meet you there." She says trying not cry. She jumps as a thump comes through the phone. she decides she needs to get off the phone, so as she starts heading out the centre as she looks for the hang up button, she heard Athena's voice quietly in the back ground but then she found the button so she hung up.

In the office at the station, Bobby had dropped his phone at what he just been told, he had to sit down at his desk a second to absorb the news.

"Bobby, you've gone white. What has Maddie told you?" Athena says urgently.

"Its Chris, he's been injured and whoever hurt him t…. took Buck." Bobby says trying not to tear up at the thought of Buck being kidnapped.

"No, they couldn't have. We need go now." Athena says urgently, as she realised who took Buck.

"I need tell Eddie. Oh my god he is going hate himself for leaving them, I hate that I had to ask Eddie to come back in. I knew I should have pushed it off longer. It's my entire fault." Bobby puts his head in his hands.

"No one could have predicted this. Don't start blaming yourself. We need to focus on getting Eddie to his son and trying to figure out where they took Buck and getting him away from them." Athena says

She holds her hand out and Bobby takes hold of it and she helps him up from his seat and they walk out and start to look for Eddie. They found him cleaning the truck, oblivious to everything that had been going on. Bobby stopped mid stride. He couldn't tell him. The words were stuck in his throat, and he had an expression of almost grief upon his face.

"You go start the car, I'll go tell him." Athena says, handing her car keys over to him.

Bobby nods and walks over to the car and starts it, as Athena walks over to Eddie she sees Chim upstairs on the phone and straightaway she knows Maddie is telling him what had just happened. He just nods to her and she nods back as she gets close to Eddie.

"Eddie, I need talk to you." She says.

"What is it? Have you found them? Or is it about later?" Eddie asks puzzled.

"Eddie, I don't know how say this but you need stay calm and listen okay?" She says knowing how he will react.

"I can't promise you that." Eddie says, with a worried expression on his face.

"There's been an incident at your place, Chris is injured and Buck... He's been taken, don't worry your Abuela is with Chris and the paramedics are on the way." Athena says dreading what will happen.

Eddie drops the rag he was using to clean the truck and punches the truck leaving a dent in the door; he didn't even flinch as his anger had taken over.

"Eddie, I need you calm down, Bobby has the car ready. Let's go." Athena says.

"How? How could you let them get Buck and oh my god, they hurt my son you were meant to protect him and get these idiots." Eddie snapped at Athena.

"Look, now's not the time for the whole blame game let's go." She says as she starts pulling him to the car.

Eddie climbs in the back and Bobby pulls off as there driving along Athena is on the phone getting the latest news and also trying see if there's any way they can track the car, she gets the patrols on full alert but she knew that he could be anywhere, as they're driving she gets a message saying Chris was in the ambulance and on its way to the hospital, and she quickly relays the message to Bobby and Eddie so Bobby turns and heads there.

"Eddie, you ok?" Bobby asks looking in the rear-view mirror at Eddie.

"No, it's your fault. I should have stayed home, they both would be safe, I hate that I couldn't protect them." Eddie says wiping away the tears.

"I know, I shouldn't have pushed for you come back. I can only say I'm sorry." Bobby says focusing on getting them to the hospital.

"Sorry isn't going keep Buck from being killed is it?" Eddie snaps.

"No, don't you talk like that, we will find him." Athena turns round looking at Eddie with that look on her face.

"What!? Come on, you saw what they did to him on that night, if he hadn't gotten away that would have been it, what do you think they will do now that they have him. Now, we have no idea where he is, he's going be all alone and scared and I blame myself." Eddie says and starts sobbing.

"It's not your fault Eddie, they could have been waiting for days, and Chase knows all the protocols so they laid low and waited." Athena says.

"If I hadn't had shouted at him and pushed him away over the lawsuit he would be safe, he wouldn't have met that bastard, only if I had told - oh god I never got to tell him." Eddie sobs even more at the realisation.

"Tell him what?" Bobby asks curiously.

"We will talk about that later, we're here now let's go see your boy." Athena says and gives a smile to Eddie.

They walk into the hospital and see Maddie, she explains where they taken Chris so they head that direction as they walk the long corridor. Eddie see's his Abuela waiting. He ran to her and wrapped her in a hug.

"Eddie." She says as he hugs her tight.

"I'm sorry, they took him I gave them a description of the car I hope they find it, and Chris is with the doctors. I'm just waiting on them to come out." She explains.

"It's okay Abuela, there's nothing you could have done, I'm just glad you were there." Eddie says.

They sit there for what feels like hours but in reality it was only 30 minutes. Eddie was pacing around, he can't sit still with so many thoughts going round his head. Athena was making constant calls, using any contacts she can think of to find the car that took Buck. Eventually, the doctor starts walking towards them and Eddie rushes over.

"Tell me doctor, is he going to be okay?" Eddie asks urgently.

"Mr Diaz, Christopher suffered a fractured skull and lost a bit of blood but we have managed to stem the bleeding. We are going keep him sedated while we look at the options but we may need to operate to fix his skull." The doctor explains

"What about brain damage? I know from knowledge that certain skull fractures could cause brain damage." Eddie asks dreading the answer.

"We won't know until he wakes up, but like I said we will monitor him and then decide what the best course of action is to be, but it could possibly be a long road to recovery Mr Diaz, you can go sit with him but I would like to keep it to no more than two people at a time." She explains.

Eddie nods and walks off, his whole world is crumbling around him he's unsure what he's to do, he can feel the anger coming as he sees his son laying there head wrapped up, he just wants head to the ring and beat the crap in to someone, but he knows he can't, he needs be here for Chris. And what about Buck? He could lose Buck and he doesn't know how he would cope without him.

A hand is placed on his shoulder he looks behind and it's Bobby, he turns round and hugs Bobby and starts sobbing he knows if he doesn't let it out now he won't be able think straight.

"It's okay Eddie, let it out." Bobby says as he pats him on the back.

"I'm sorry for saying it's your fault, I know it isn't. I'm just so angry." Eddie says as he breaks the hug.

"Eddie I understand. I'm angry too, we just got him back and think the drama is all over and this happens, don't worry. You know Athena will find him, she won't stop and neither will I." Bobby says firmly.

"I know and I won't either, they will pay for what they have done." Eddie says clenching his fist in anger.

"You need to focus on Chris, and we will focus on Buck." Bobby says looking at Chris

"I have to focus on Buck until I know he's safe, at least Chris is here and safe." Eddie says as more tears start.

"Is it because you love Buck and I mean that you're in love with him, that's what you were on about in the car wasn't it?" Bobby asks suddenly.

Eddie didn't want to answer; he looked at Bobby and could see there was no way he could lie now, so he nodded before he had to sit down the stress of the day was catching up to him.

"Thought as much. You two are so alike and need each other, yes everything is crazy and you feel like you should have said something sooner but that's life Eddie. We just got be strong and we know Buck is a fighter. Past experience says so." Bobby says.

"I know, I swear if I get him back I'm going tell him straight away Bobby, no more hiding. It's not just for me but for Chris to he loves Buck too." Eddie says looking at Chris who was lying in the bed unresponsive.

"We will get him back, I'll leave you to it. I'm sure your Abuela will want come in and see him too." Bobby says.

He gives Eddie one final hug and leaves the room, leaving Eddie to sit and look at his son holding back the tears that he can feel burning to be let out, he hears the door open and close and footsteps walk over to the bed he looks up and sees his Abuela who is just staring at Chris and tears start falling.

"Eddie he looks so peaceful." She says.

"He does but we don't know... exactly how bad he is till he wakes and how he will handle it he already has CP and it's tough on him already. This will make things even harder." Eddie says shaking his head.

"We must think positive and pray that the good Lord will bring him back and with no complications." She says holding her cross on her necklace.

"I will I'm just…" Eddie starts saying

"Worried about Buck, I know and I'm sorry I couldn't help more, I hope we find him." She interrupts him.

"I know and its fine. You did what you could and you had Chris to deal with as well, I can't sit here knowing he's out there. I'm going have to help to look for him. Are you okay to stay here for a while?" Eddie says as he stands up

"You can't, it's dangerous and you don't know where to start." Abuela says looking worried

"I can't just sit here its going drive me crazy I need do something, it's been over two hours since he was taken, anything could have happened." Eddie says, with a worried look on his face.

She looks at him and nods, she knows better than to argue with him, he leans over Chris and gives him a kiss on his cheek.

"Volvere a ti, hijo mio, y tender a Evan conmigo (I will come back to you my son and I will have Evan with me)" Eddie whispers as he leaves the room and is greeted by people outside. Bobby, Athena, Maddie and Chim are there waiting,

"How is Chris?" Maddie asks concernedly.

"He is asleep. We're just waiting on the doctor to let us know which way we go." Eddie says holding back the tears.

"That kid is a fighter just like his dad." Chim says in a positive tone. Eddie smiles thinking to himself '**_Yeah, he is just like Buck.'_**

"Any news on the car or Buck?" Eddie asks.

"Nothing yet, don't worry yourself we have got this. You focus on Chris." Athena says rubbing Eddies arm.

Buck wakes to a shock as he feels the cold water hit him, shaking his head he can't see anything as it is dark he looks round he hears voices, he tries to remember what happened Chris he thinks of straight away.

**_'Chris is hurt, look what you did to him, Eddie will never forgive you for this one'_**

"Looks like he's finally awake" Aaron says as he moves forward in to the light

He is followed by Chase who is smiling, Buck feels his hands are tied behind him, he tries to move his legs but they are tied to the chair he is sat on.

"What do you want from me?" Buck asks in a stubborn tone.

"We weren't done, when you decided to run" Chase says as he lifts Bucks chin up

A loud smack is heard as Chase slaps Buck across the face, Buck drops his head he knows he's done for, and no one knows where he is or how long he was out.

"Chris, is he okay? Please tell me, I don't care what you do to me but I need know if he's ok" Buck pleads

"Last I heard he was rushed to hospital with a serious injury and they were unsure if he made it." Aaron says smugly.

"You monsters, how could you hurt an innocent child." Buck snarls at them trying break out the restraints.

"Looks like he has some fight now, shame you didn't have the same fight to go through with the lawsuit then none of this would be happening, what happened to the kid is on you not us, you went there and then went back after you left hospital so we're not the monster you are." Chase says with a sneer.

As Buck looks at Chase a thump to the side of the face and he knows his lip is split as he turns he sees Aaron who has just punched him in the face with a evil smile, Buck knows he's most likely going die here but he was sure he would make them pay one way or another.

"Look, it's late and we are tired, So enjoy your night and we have a big day tomorrow, oh and don't worry there's no one around to hear you scream." Chase says gleefully.

He pats Aaron on the back and walks out closing the door and locking it, Buck hears them drive off and knows he alone, he uses the first few minutes and listens to try and get an idea where he could be, as he listens he can hear moving water, it's too dark to see anything round him he tried to move the chair see if he can get a better idea of what was around him. He manages to move the chair round and see's what's behind him he can see a door and it's barricaded up but there's a window but its night time and dark outside so he can't see anything.

After several minutes taking in his surroundings he knows he needs to escape, he tries to break the rope on his hands but no luck there just rubbing and cutting in to his skin, he tries his legs but same again but realises if he can get on his back he might be able slip his legs of the chair legs, he rocks the chair so it falls with him on it with a thud, he wriggles his legs and manages to his left leg now he works the right one and gets it off, once he wriggles a bit he manages to get his back loose from the chair and he's does some yoga move, wincing at the pain of the ribs that are still sore as he pulls his hands over and manages get them to in front of him.

He stands up and starts walking round trying to get a feel for where he was, he could tell it was an empty factory or warehouse and close to water so he figured only place like this would be the docks but which exact one, he started thinking to what he would say to Eddie if Chris has died.

**_'He won't want know me, he will hate be for hurting Chris, I'm a monster.'_**

His train of thought is broken when he hears a phone ring and recognises the tine it's his ringtone for Eddie, he rushes over to the phone, as he picks it up he sees lights appear outside and panics.

"Hello Eddie?" Buck says.

"Buck, how, where are you?" Eddie says with a panicked tone.

"I can't talk, they have come back must have realised they left my phone, I'm so sorry for everything, I'm in a warehouse or factory and by water so I think it's the docks I'm not sure though." Buck quickly says.

"Okay, we will start looking is there anything you can see to help us." Eddie says

"No it's too dark…"Buck doesn't finish as he falls to the floor.

"BUCK!" Eddie yells through the phone as he heard the thump.

"Try again." Aaron says in the phone with a smirk.

"You, where are you? Let him go." Eddie says furiously into the phone.

"Why? When we were going have so much fun." Chase says with a laugh.

"What do you want?" Eddie asks.

"What we want s to teach this punk why you never screw me over, but you can free him without him having to be hurt." Chase says

"What, how?" Eddie asks

"Ring this phone, when you have seven million dollars which I'm owed, for every hour we don't get it, well let's just say it won't be pretty, oh and officer grant we know your there so don't bother we disabled the gps on his phone when we took him, so tick tock" Chase explains

"Yeah Eddie, tick tock don't want keep the man you love waiting, yes we know you love him makes this even more fun" Aaron says as he hangs up the phone.

Eddie looked at his phone in horror, he never expected it to ring never mind the fact Buck answered at least he knew he was ok for now but _seven million dollars where was he meant get that amount of money?_

"Eddie, we will get him, at least we have some idea on location we have move quick." Athena says and starts making calls.

Eddie looks on Google for any locations of docks in the greater Los Angeles area and is shocked how many there are, he thinks to himself,

**_'There must be someone who may know if any have empty buildings to help narrow the search.'_**

He looks in his phone looking at the contacts everyone he looked at no help there then he stopped when he saw a name, he thought to himself **_it's worth a shot_** and dialled after a few rings there was an answer.

"Wow, I was not expecting hear from you." Lena Bosko says surprised.

"I know and I'm sorry how everything went down." Eddie apologises.

"So let me guess, you aren't calling for a chit chat most likely after something as that's all it was with you." She snaps down the phone.

"I deserve that but this isn't about me, it's about Buck." Eddie tries to keep calm.

"What? Does he want to get in to fighting? I thought he wouldn't with everything that happened to him." She says

"How did you know about that? No, I need info if you can help." He says

"Word gets round especially when you screw Chase, he isn't to be messed with, but what exact information do you need that involves Buck?" She asks

"Chase and his ex took him, they injured Chris and now they're asking for seven million dollars and every hour I waste they start hurting Buck and I can't have that, so please help me." Eddie says tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

"You mean they attacked Chris? That's low. What exactly do you know? How could I help?" She asks curiously.

"Well, he managed to briefly tell me that he was by water and in an empty building and obviously we had the fights at empty buildings didn't we? So, I was hoping you would know anyone who would have information on any that are empty but not used by fights but Chase could only know." He explained

"I'll ask round and see what I can do." She says as she hangs up.

Eddie look at the clock already ten minutes have gone and he hasn't got any further he decides he needs speak to Maddie so leaves the hospital after explaining to Abuela what was going on and headed off to her place. By the time he got there, the forty-five minutes had passed and he hadn't heard from Lena and knew in fifteen minutes they would do something, but then they could be beating him right now, so he quickly ran to Maddie's door and explained everything.

Buck started to stir, he felt himself tied up again but this time he was standing. He looked round and saw he was tied to a post, there was more light as they all pointed to him which made it hard to see in front of him but he could see the two figures in front of him and knew who it was, at least he got to speak to Eddie before anything happened even though it was brief.

"Ah look princess is awake and with five minutes till the first deadline passes." Aaron says as he walks up to Buck

"What you mean deadline? What's going on?" Buck asks confused.

"Well we said if they bring us Seven million dollars we will let you go and for every hour that passes we hurt you, you been out cold for fifty-five minutes so the first hour is up, but I don't think they will Eddie didn't sound to happy especially now." Chase says

"What do you mean now?" Buck asks

"Show him." Chase says looking at Aaron

Aaron walks up and holds up his phone so Buck can read what's on the screen and tears start to fall

"A young boy dies after kidnap of a fire fighter today, and following the altercation, Christopher Diaz was hit and suffered a head injury once arriving at the hospital they did the best they could but the bleed on the brain was too much and he passed with his father at his side, the fire fighter is still missing with police looking." Aaron read

"No, not Chris please no!" Buck screams.

"Told you, it's all your fault that things happen if you just did as you were told nobody would have got hurt, can't see Eddie wanting to find you now do you?" Chase says

"Just kill me, you're not going get the money just get it over." Buck says with a tone of sadness

"Well looks like an hour is over time teach them we aren't messing round, rip his trousers over his left leg" Chase says to Aaron.

"So we are starting with my idea then." Aaron says with a wink.

"Yes, we are go get the rod ready" Chase says as he walks up to Buck and punches him in the face then the stomach.

Buck stands mainly because he's tied but doesn't make a sound and then a few more hits he sees Aaron walk over smiling, holding a rod in one hand which is glowing and he can see letters AJ and in the other hand a blow torch which he uses to heat up the metal more.

"You will never forget me after this, I'll always be a part of you always." Aaron says as he kisses Buck on the cheek.

Buck starts to move but can't move much Chase smacks buck again, Chase grabs Bucks phone and starts recording as Aaron places the stamp on his skin, a blood curdling scream is let out of Bucks mouth and tears role down his cheeks and passes out from the pain, and Aaron pulls it away and laughs looking at the phone.

"Now Eddie, we told you what would happen after a hour, you have another hour otherwise we do more, I mean he's branded mine now don't think you want my sloppy seconds especially now." Aaron says.

Chase moves the camera back to Buck taking in his beaten face and blood dripping from his mouth mixed with tears and down to the brand they just burned in to his skin, he turns the camera to himself.

"So, Eddie tick tock."

He then sends a message to Eddie.

'Seems you don't care, first hour as passed, Eddie tick tock to the next one.'

He attaches the video and sends it to him.

Eddie is sat with Maddie in her kitchen looking at locations on the laptop when he hears a text message arrive he turns white he knows the first hour is over and dreads to think what's in it, he picks up his phone and looks at the text and then sees a video on it and a picture of Buck and he doesn't want play it, he's scared what they have done but also doesn't want Maddie to see.

"Eddie what is it, you have gone pale." She says

"It's from Chase and Aaron the first hour has gone by." he swallows hard as he says it.

"Show me." She asks trying to take the phone from him.

He turns so she can't take it and they hear a knock at the door, so Eddie runs to it and see it's Athena, she walks in and sees Maddie looking pissed.

"What's going on?" She asks looking confused.

"He's received a message from Chase and won't show me." Maddie says.

"I can't let you see it, Maddie I'm sorry." Eddie says tears starting to come as the horrible image of Buck burned into his memory.

"Okay Maddie, you stay in there and Eddie and I will watch it, if I think it's okay for you to watch, I'll let you okay?" Athena says giving her a look and she nods in agreement.

Maddie walks back in to the kitchen and Eddie and Athena step outside the front door, Eddies hand start to shake as he presses play, as the video ends, Eddie turns and throws up on the front porch and Athena can't believe what she has just seen, she rubs Eddies back and helps him in. As they enter, Maddie is standing there and Athena just shakes her head curtly.

"Can you get me some water for Eddie, please?" Athena asks Maddie and she runs to get some.

"How could they do that to him, that's beyond evil. Athena what will they do next? I'm scared for him." Eddie says breaking down.

"What happened?" Maddie asks concernedly.

"It's best you don't see, it's bad but he's still alive which is the main thing to know. Have you any luck on any locations?" Athena asks trying to keep Maddie distracted.

"Not yet." she says "You okay Eddie?" Maddies asks.

"I'm so sorry Maddie, if I had the balls and just told him he would be safe." Eddie says.

"What are you on about?" she asks, confused.

Eddie just breaks down and curls in to a ball on the sofa sobbing to himself. Athena stands up and takes Maddie in to the kitchen to quietly explain.

"He's in love with Buck, he blames everything on himself for not telling him sooner." Athena says.

"They're both their own worst enemies." Maddie says nodding.

"The main thing is we have to find him soon." Athena says and then they hear Eddies phone going off.

"Hello?" Eddie says wiping the tears away.

"Hey, I've done some digging and I have three locations, but I can't guarantee you anything." Lena says.

"It's better than what we used to have, thank you." Eddie says gratefully.

"I can come and help, you know safety in numbers." Lena offers.

"That would be great, which area do you think be best to try?" Eddie asks

"I would say we try the Port of Los Angeles but there are 27 terminals so without any more info we could be looking for a needle in a haystack literally." She says.

"I'll meet you there." Eddie says straight off.

He hangs up the phone, looks at the time fifteen minutes have gone already there's no way he can find him in the next 4fourty-five minutes, he walks in to the kitchen and Maddie walks over and gives him a big hug.

"It's not your fault Eddie, when we have him back you tell him." She says holding him close

"I will, Lena gave me three more locations, but they're big places." Eddie says as he shows Athena the list.

Athena instantly gets on the phone to the police station to organise the officers to start searching the list of the docks, Eddie knows it is a long shot but what else could he do if he had the money he would get it. He starts moving towards the door. He can't wait any longer he needs meet Lena.

"Where do you think you are going?" Athena says with concern.

"I need to help with the search." Eddie replies.

"No, you need stay with your son." She replies knowingly.

"He is safe, Abuela and Bobby are there to watch over him. I can't be there knowing that Buck needs me, Chris would tell me to go find him." Eddie say trying hold back the tears.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you." Athena explains as she opens the door

"Me too, he came for me when Doug took me. It's my turn help him." Maddie says in a determined tone, grabbing her coat.

They head to Eddie's pick up and drive off, it takes them almost forty minutes get to the docks, once Eddie pulled up he froze he knew he soon be getting another video of the horror there inflicting on Buck, they get out the pickup and meet Lena and start looking.

"Well, looks like another hour has passed, what fun shall we have now?" Aaron says looking at Buck who was just coming round, he felt a punch to his gut but didn't care now, Chris had died nothing could hurt him more than that.

"Let's get started." Chase said with an evil grin.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – Always yours

Buck opened his eyes slowly, his vision was blurred and he felt disoriented. The light hanging above was dim, but the sharp pain throbbing in his eyes made the pain even worse. He tried to focus his eyes to no avail. As he woke up properly, his body begun to ache as a sharp pain shot through hit him as he grinded his teeth trying to hold in the agonising scream. Buck's vision was slowly coming to as he went to move his head to look around, he felt someone grab it forcing him to look forward. Buck looked forward seeing a blurred figure in front of him as he got his eyes to focus on who it was, he saw Chase, he was smirking as Buck saw the enjoyment in his face.

"So? What shall it be?" Chase grinned as he walked slowly towards Buck, grabbing his chin and lifting it up to get a better look in his eyes, Chase was enjoying every moment of this.

"Just… kill me." Buck shakes his head moving Chase hand off him.

"Who said you could talk?" Chase snarled as he tightened his fist hitting him with a hard blow to the face.

Buck looked down to his side as he spat the blood out and felt the sore throbbing pain erupt in his jaw as Chase stepped back smirking.

"Cut his shirt off, I think we need to teach him a lesson. To talk when spoken to." Chase snarled as he walked round him inspecting him.

Aaron grabbed a pair of scissors from the table as he begun to cut his shirt off catching him with the scissors on winced in pain and he gritted his teeth, not wanting to let these jerks know how much it hurt. Aaron threw the scissors on the table as he picked up the belt off the table, Chase turned his head and smirked as he looked over.

"No, that won't do it." Chase said. "I think he needs a harsher lesson."

"Then what?" Aaron stared at him confused.

"Get your phone out." Chase told Aaron as he complied and got his phone out to record. "I was inspired for this, I decided to make my own Roman Scourges whip, they used it on the slaves and called it the cat nine tails, one handle, nine whips attached to cause more pain."

Bucks eyes widened in horror as he looked at the whip as Chase held up his own hand made, Chase moved round getting a grip on the handle as Buck heard the leather in his hands as he twisted his hand around the handle to make sure his grip was secure. Within a second, Buck felt the most excruciating pain as Chase whipped him, Buck tried to hold in the screams as tears rolled down his cheeks as Chase continued Buck begun to cry out in pain, with each forceful whip his back was split and ripped as blood begun to seep down his back, each whip tearing through the open wounds even more. Aaron stood filming the ordeal grinning as he moved round to get a better view of Buck's back as Chase turned around stopping, the blood seeping out of Bucks back as he dug his fingers in as Buck screamed in pain begging him to stop. Chase took a step back laughing slightly as he smirked and looked to Aaron as Aaron panned the camera to him.

"So then Eddie, we know you don't care for Buck but surely his sister cares about him? She would want nothing more than for poor Bucky to come home safely." Chase smirked running his hand through his hair. "So, I suggest you get a move on, you have one hour counting from the minute this video ends, next time we may not be so kind."

Aaron pans the camera round to Bucks face laughing as tears fell down his face, his back was on fire as Aaron grinned.

"Anything to say babe?" Aaron grinned as he leaned close.

Buck remained silent as Aaron smirked and ended the video sending it to Eddie, he looks over at Chase who stood cleaning off the whip as Aaron walked over the two begun to talk to each other, Buck couldn't hear anything but felt weak, tired and felt his body just giving in as he gritted his teeth.

Eddie stood leaning on the bannister over the docks, as he looked around he saw the other docks across the coast in the distance. Ssilence fell as he was left alone with his thoughts, the reality soon hit him. The challenge ahead and everything hanging on him. He turned his head to see everyone stood behind him, their faces begun to lose hope in their eyes as he knew himself, he was losing hope.

"Hey, we will find him." Lena said softly as she tried to lift the atmosphere and raise their hopes.

"We'll find him?" Maddie snapped in frustration. "Where do we start, Lena? Where do we even start? It may not even be here!"

"He's here, I feel it he's somewhere here its just where…" Eddie turned his head back to face the docks.

"Well how do you know that?" Maddie barked at him.

"In here." Eddie pointed to his heart. "You have to trust your gut, your gut it always right."

Amongst their passive-aggressive attitude towards each other they fell silent when Eddies phone went off. Eddie looked over at Lena and Maddie as Lena grabbed Maddie's hand who gripped it tightly. Eddie pulled his phone out he knew what it was and who it was, an hour had passed. He should be heading to the destination already. He unlocked his phone and saw a message as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Maddie let go of Lenas' hand and walked a few steps away shaking her head, she could not face it anymore. Eddie moved over to Athena and Lena as he clicked the video and it begun to play as their eyes widened in horror at the video, Eddie felt his heart drop and felt the sick forming in his stomach, Lena clasped her hand over her mouth in horror and disgust at the brutality of the video. Athena moved away in horror, covering her mouth breathing heavily as she crouched down. Eddie turned the video off pausing at the end of the video and seeing how Buck face look defeated he couldn't speak he just couldn't take it anymore. Tears flooded Eddies eyes as he gripped his phone hard as Athena moved and begun to throw up, the brutality of the video and the gore twisted her stomach as Lena looked over to Eddie.

"I'm so sorry Eddie, I didn't realise how bad it was when you told me over the phone… We will get him back and they will pay for what they've done I promise you." Lena said as she grabbing his arm reassuring him.

"What's the plan though? Look at this place it's a maze, endless turns, where do we even start? We have an hour you heard him." Eddie wiped the tears from his eyes as he looked over at Athena as she was leaning against the bannister as she covered her mouth.

"We can't waste any more time then." Athena said slowly as she looked over to them. "The longer we spend here talking about what to do instead of doing it we will get another video and this time it will be worse."

"She's right." Maddie spoke as she turned around to look at them. "I'll go and ask at the security desk; they may have seen Chase or Aaron around or at least be able to point us to some sort of direction of derelict old buildings."

"I'll go with Maddie, just in case, it's better to go in pairs." Lena said as she walked over to Maddie as she put her hand on her back and lead her away as Athena looked over at Eddie as Eddie looked at her, she hung her head shaking it.

Eddie pulls Athena up as they head off in a different direction scanning the area for any clues or any signs to them. Maddie and Lena walked up to the security desk in silence.

"Hey, excuse me. Have you seen these two men around here at all or hanging around?" Maddie asked as she turned her phone round showing a picture of Chase and Aaron to him.

The security guard took the phone to get a better look but shook his head handing the phone back to Maddie.

"No sorry, I only started the other day, the best person to ask would be Max down by the boats." He turned pointing down to the gentleman by the boats as Lena looked round.

"Why?" Lena quizzed.

"He's always here, I wouldn't be surprised if he lived here honestly. He's got eyes and ears here, he's your best person to find those two." He shrugged.

"Okay, thank you." Maddie smiled as she turned and headed over with Lena to Max, Lena noticed the security guard walking off as she thought fthat was odd for a second she glanced at Maddie unsurely, but she cme to a decison.

"Hey, you go check with Max and get some information off him, I'm going to check something out." Lena said as she walked off.

Eddie and Athena walked round, looking in empty buildings after empty buildings, their hopes fading faster by the minute. Eddie checked his phone it had already been thirty minutes as he sighed running his hand through his hair as he looked at Athena.

"Athena its been thirty minutes already. What are we going to do?" Eddie sighed

"We will find them, and we will get him back I promise, and they will pay for what they've done." Athena smiled at him weakly.

"They will pay for this; we will make sure they can't hurt anyone ever again!" Eddie snarled as Athena noticed a different look in his eyes.

"You're not going to do something stupid. Those two boys need you and you won't be any good being locked up because you didn't think clearly." Athena glared at him her voice like a mother's tone.

"I know, I won't do anything stupid I'm just… so angry." Eddie sighed.

"We all are Eddie, but you got to remember your counselling and remember to keep calm and think clear." Athena sighed.

"I will… I wonder if the others have had any better luck." Eddie looked back towards the docks.

"They will call if they do." Athena said softly as she gestured them to continue.

Back at the docks, Maddie walked down to the boats as she approached Max as she gave a soft smile as Max looked up noticing her instantly.

"What's a pretty lady like you doing out here? Never seen you 'round these parts before. Do you need a boat to somewhere?" Max asked wiping his hands.

"No, I just wanted to ask you something. I spoke to the security guard and he sent me down here said I'd have a better chance of getting answers from you than him as he only started the other day." Maddie smiled at him softly as Max raised his eyebrow.

"Well I can help you he's honest about that but he's lying there about how long he's been here sweetheart; he's been here for years. Strange for him to lie. What did you ask him?" Max asked curiously.

"Have you seen these two guys around here at all?" Maddie asked handing her phone to him with the pictures of Chase and Aaron on it as he scanned the photos.

Max eyebrow raised curiously as he looked at Maddie and looked at the photo as he handed the phone back.

"Actually, yes I have, it's a bit interesting actually." Max said.

"What do you mean?" Maddie asked confusedly.

"They've come down for the past few days, never really spoke to them but the security guard you just spoke to he spends some time with them. They go down to dock 21, it's a maze down there full of run-down buildings." Max said firmly as Maddie eyes widened slightly as she realised Lena had vanished.

"Thank you for your help." Maddie said softly. "I guess he's made a break for it."

Maddie walked off as she pulled her phone out and rung Eddie as Eddie picked up the phone.

"Any luck?" Eddie asked.

"Actually yes. The security guard claimed he had been here for a day so he sent me to a man called Max. He's seen Chase and Aaron here and they spend time down dock 21 he said it's a maze down there full of rundown empty buildings but here's the best thing I was told the same security guard we asked apparently he spends a lot of time down there with him." Maddie said as she looked around.

"Great, that's all we need, 21 is going to take us ages, meet us at the truck." Eddie said as he hung up and turned to Athena.

"Well?"

"Maddie and Lena quizzed a guy called Max. Apparently they come down here for the past few days, they're at dock 21 and worst of it all the security guard they asked lied and he spends time with them in dock 21." Eddie said his anger flaring up.

"Eddie, it took us thirty minutes to get here; its going take us thirty minutes to get back, we're not going to make it before the next deadline. If the security guard has caught on, he's going to let them know now and they may move him." Athena said anxiously as they begun to speed walk back. "Right, I'm going to call it in, going to get the area blocked off and every vehicle searched, no one in nor out now."

Athena and Eddie turned and begun to run back to the truck trying to beat the deadline.

"Okay. Thanks for the heads up." Chase hung up the phone turning to Aaron.

"What's up?" Aaron asked

Chase pulls Aaron over away from hearing range as he whispered to Aaron as Aaron turned.

"You're joking!" Aaron yelled angrily as Buck lifted his head slightly to look over at them.

"_Somethings wrong, I need to hold out a bit longer… could it be Eddie? Maddie… What is the point, no one wants me…" _Buck deliriously thought, with pain hammering at him.

Buck looks up as he was greeted with Aarons fist to his face.

"This can't be happening." Aaron hissed as he landed a few more blows to Bucks face and chest as Buck begun to cough as Aaron used him as a human punching bag.

"Calm down." Chase snapped angrily. "Look the hour is nearly up, its time. You want to get your frustration out then you can lead this one. We need to move before they have this place locked up."

"Sounds good to me… can start the video early and send it when the hours up." Aaron grinned.

"Well, well Bucky, looks like we got to move." Chase smirked as he cracked him in the face.

"Grab the bar." Chase pointed as Aaron looked over at the metal bar on the floor and grabbed it

"Why?" Aaron asked

"Break his ankle." Chase demanded.

"So, he can't run?" Aaron smirked as he passed the bar over to Chase as he took it, tightening his grip around it. Aaron walked over grabbing the phone as he begun to record.

"Well times up pretty boy… well, I mean he isn't so pretty anymore now is he?" Chase smirked. "Let's break that precious ankle of yours, got make sure you can't run."

Chase swung the bar as it smashes against Bucks ankle. He screamed in pain as the sharp stinging pain shot up his leg as it begun to throb. Soon enough, the blow was followed by another as he screamed in pain. Chase smashed it against his ankle two more times as he threw the bar on the floor stepping back smirking. Buck felt the pain striking up his leg throbbing as he soon passed out from the excruciating pain. Chase grinned as he walked over grabbing a surgical knife as he turned looking at Buck as Aaron looked over smirking as he continued to roll the video, Chase walked over and lifted bucks face slapping his cheek to see if he would wake up, dropping his head down he moved the blade over bucks chest as he begun to cut into Bucks torso slicing his flesh as he does it several more times and begins to laugh manically as he throws the knife and turns to the camera.

"We know you're on your way, sadly by the time you figure it out and get here we will be long gone before you arrive and he's coming with us. We told you what we wanted, and it seems like you don't care nor could comply so I guess this is the last time you will see Buck sort of alive." Aaron smirked as he ended the video and sent it.

They take Buck off the restraints and drop him to the floor, grabbing his arms they drag him towards the door ready to leave as they're about to open the door they hear a commotion outside so they decide to head out the back way and into another part of the buildings to hide.

"What do we do? They could be out there." Aaron asked.

"It's too soon." Chase said shaking his head in disagreement.

They look around trying to see if they could see where they could go, they notice there is a walkway leading across the waterfront and it leads into the hills.

"There, we go for the hills?" Chase pointed

"That's a good ten-minute walk and that's not including the dead weight here." Aaron pointed to Buck.

"We don't have a choice, put this bag over his head and tie him up." Chase demanded.

They quickly tie him up and place the bag over his head and head out keeping low so no one can see them as they walk along the waterfront, they hear a woman's voice.

"BUCK!" Lena screamed at the top of her lungs

Eddie pulls to the side, he pulls his phone out and opens up his video and begins to watch it as he begins to cry as he watches what they do to Buck, he hears a gasp as he hadn't realised Maddie had come up behind him.

"Eddie, please tell me they all haven't been like that?" Maddie pleaded as she begun to cry.

"Maddie I'm so sorry." Athena said softly as she grabbed her hand squeezing it.

"I didn't mean for you to see this Maddie." Eddie sighed as he closes his phone ending the video. "Wait… Where's Lena?"

"She went off." Maddie said looking round.

"You don't think she's with them, do you?" Athena asked looking over to Eddie

"No, she wouldn't have brought us here if she was." Eddie responded

Eddie goes through his phone looking for her details and contact number and calls her.

"Lena? Where are you?" Eddie asks.

"I had a suspicion on the security guard, so I followed him." Lena responded

"You're at dock 21?!" Eddie snapped

"How do you know?" Lena asked confused.

"That guy Max, he told Maddie. Be careful were on our way." Eddie said as he hung up and they all got into the truck.

Eddie begins to drive as he puts his foot down, Eddie was determined to get there and save Buck. They approach dock 21 they saw Lena she was coming from the buildings and heard her screaming for Buck. Eddie jumped out his truck and rushed over to her grabbing her.

"Where is he?" Eddie asks

"They must have left. He must have tipped them off." Lena panicked as she looked around.

"But they only sent the video ten minutes ago." Eddie looked confused as he scanned the place.

"Well they wouldn't have gotten far. We need to spread out and search." Athena responded as her and Maddie finally caught up. "Lena go with Maddie and stay with each other; I'll go with Eddie and let's go we haven't got much time."

They all split up and begin to walk around, Lena and Maddie round the outside and Eddie and Athena in the centre of it all. Asthey walk through buildings, they can see blood. Eddie closed his eyes and clenched his fists, he instantly knew it was Buck's and the images of Buck and the tools and the torture he endured begun to become into his head as Eddie stomach churned. He looks over to Athena, who's on the phone calling it in, getting whoever, she can to the docks as soon as. They continue searching around but they couldn't see anything, Eddie wises there was a sign to where they could have gone, he looks to Athena who was looking back at him and shines his torch towards the back and sees something reflecting as he walks over to it, there's more blood on the floor, he looks round the area and walks round the corner and hidden in the corner is a door.

"Athena! Over here!" Eddie shouted.

Athena walks over quickly as she pulls her gun out and opens the door slowly and points it up as they walk through, they end up outside they look around and they see Lena and Maddie walking towards them.

"Any luck?" Maddie askes nervously

"Nothing, you guys?" Athena asks looking over to them.

"The guard didn't know where they had gone." Lena said shaking her head.

"I persuaded him with my boot after he thought it be smart to try pull a gun on me." Lena hissed.

"He did what?" Maddie asked in horror.

"Yeah he knew where they were so I followed, once he got here I knew this was the place so I asked him politely where Buck was and he tried pull the gun on me so I managed get it off him and broke his arm and then he begun to sing after that." Lena said as she ran her hand through her hair.

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked confused.

"They've been planning this for months, Chase got the guard off for some illegal charges so that's why he was helping, repaying his debt to Chase in a way. They were originally bringing Buck here after Aaron had got more closer to Buck but because people kept interfering, they moved the plans up and then Buck managed to get away." Lena responded.

The whole time they were talking Eddie is looking around, hoping to see something, some sort of sign, in the distance he sees two figures moving and they begin to make their way to them, he gets closer and he sees its Chase and Aaron as everyone else begun to follow Eddie.

"Stop right there!" Athena shouted. "You have nowhere to go!"

Chase and Aaron stop and turn around to see everyone stood there, Chase pulls a gun out and holds it to the bag over Bucks head.

"Two choices here, you either let us go and we let him go or you try to shoot us, and I will his empty head with bullets." Chase responded

"Don't hurt him!" Maddie screams begging them.

As they stood there the tension built as the guns were drawn. Buck begins to slowly to come round to the commotion, he opens his eyes but sees nothing but darkness, he moves his head slightly and feels the bag against his head and something pressed against his skull as he freezes.

"Where am I? Where are you taking me now?" Buck questioned.

"If I was you, I'd stay quiet unless you want something bad happen because you don't know how to keep quiet." Chase snarled.

"Buck! Were here for you. I told you I would come." Eddie shouted.

"_Its Eddie! He's here he does care for me, even after everything…" _

"Stand him up." Chase barked.

Aaron places Buck to his feet as Buck groans in pain, his body ached and was sore and in pain all over, it had suffered severe torture throughout the entire situation, he feels his body weakening and as he feels like he's about to pass out.

"Look, let him go and we will let you leave." Athena shouted as Eddie turns his head to her.

"Yeah, and I bet there's cops all over this place." Chase shouted.

"Aaron bend down and grab that rope, wrap it around Buck's waist." Chase whispered.

Aaron bends down and picks the rope up tying it around Bucks waist.

"What are you doing?" Eddie quizzed angrily. "Leave him alone, take me!"

"You would love that wouldn't you? Doing something heroic for the man you love." Aaron shouted as Buck head turns in shock to what Aaron just said trying to comprehend what was just said.

Eddie is floored by what Aaron shouted in front of everyone as he froze for a moment.

"You're asking yourself, now aren't you? How do we know this?" Chase grinned

"Come on we have people everywhere who owe me a lot of favours, that kind nurse in the room, yeah her. you remember her, right? She told me exactly where you were, what she heard you say to him as he slept, looks like you may miss out on telling him. The cops that came to take the statement they were mine too." Chase starts.

"You're evil." Maddie shouted angrily.

"No evil is your brother for screwing me out of my money." Chase snarled.

Eddie takes a step forward as Chase cocks his gun up.

"Eddie I'm sorry about Chris." Buck shouts as his head begins to swirl with all kind of thoughts as he begins to believe he is about to die.

"He's okay, he's in hospital but he will be okay." Eddie shouted

Aaron and Chase begin to laugh as they grinned.

"What?!" Eddie shouted angrily as he felt his temper flaring up.

"We told him the kid had died, even made fake news to make it so believable." Aaron smirked.

"You're both sick in the head." Athena shouted angrily.

"Well maybe we are, but you're not so innocent yourself. Because of you lot you pushed him straight to us, you made it so much easier to get to him. So really this is all on you." Chase stated

"Look I'm getting bored and I want to get out of here, so what choice you are making." Aaron snarled.

"The one where we get Buck and you guys get put away." Athena shouted responding to Aaron as he shoots her a dead glare.

"Yeah… I don't really like that; I much prefer this." Chase smirked as he moved pushing Buck into the water as Aaron kicks the rock off with him as Eddie screams.

"No!" Eddie runs as he dives into the water.

As he was diving, he hears a gunshot then a burning pain as he realised, they shot him through the shoulder as he hit the water, he dives into the water. Athena begins to fire as Lena pins Maddie down to the floor to get her undercover as Chase and Aaron moved to cover.

"We need to help him!" Maddie cries. "They shot Eddie!"

"Stay here." Lena held her hands up gesturing to her to stay as she runs and jumps into the water.

Lena swims down looking for Eddie as she can see him, he has hold of Buck pulling the bag off his head and working on the rope trying to get it loose, Lena swims over and pulls her knife out as she cuts the rope and helps Eddie to swim to the surface with Buck. They break through the water gasping for air as they hear gunshots in the distance, they swim to safety by the side of the docks so no one can see them.

"Oh god Buck! You're okay. I've got you." Eddie panics as they keep Bucks head afloat.

"I'm sorry for everything." Buck gasped.

"Don't be sorry, none of this is your fault. Let's get you out of here." Eddie said

They slowly swim along the wall keeping low and quiet, Eddie leading the way as Lena helped Buck, once they got to the ramp, they pulled Buck out of the water as they take a deep breath.

"Stay here." Lena said. "I'm going to tell them were out stay here."

"Please be safe." Eddie said softly.

They watch Lena run as she keeps low, Eddie looks down at Buck and sees him beaten up nearly upon recognition but took comfort in knowing he was still alive, Eddie starts to cry the shock of nearly losing him catches him up.

"Eddie. I'm…" Buck starts as Eddie cuts him off.

"Buck… I love you, I mean I really love you, I wish I had told you sooner but after everything you had been through I kept quiet to help you heal and put you first, I promised myself when I found you I was going to tell you and I'm sorry I didn't sooner…" Eddie cries as he held Buck.

"You love me? Like really love me?" Buck quizzed

"That's what I just said." Eddie smiled slightly.

"You're not just saying this? Not just messing with me?" Eddie asked

The question hurts Eddie, but he understands where Buck is coming from, he couldn't imagine the torture of what they said let alone the physical aspect as Eddie leans down and kisses Buck softly.

"Does that answer your question?" Eddie smiles weakly.

"Yes…" Buck smiled slightly as it begun to face. "Is Chris really okay?"

"Yes, he may need surgery but he's going to be okay… Like you are." Eddie said softly

"They told me he died Eddie, they made it look so real…" Buck stuttered as gunshots fire above as Buck darts his eyes above.

"It's fine it's fine, I've got you, Athena won't let them near you." Eddie soothed Buck.

Amongst the gunshots firing above in the distance sirens wailed drawing closer.

"If I'm going down you're coming with me!" Aaron shouted.

They both look up to see Aaron stood above them pointing the gun at Buck, soon the area falls silent as the wind passes through and the ocean moving and hitting against the docks, in the moment the sound of the sirens drown out as Aaron fires one shot and then fired a second. Buck looks up and sees Aaron falling to the ground, blood forming in his torso as he drops the gun, as Aaron hit the floor they saw Athena stood behind holding the gun up still. Buck didn't feel any new excruciating pain rippling through his body, he looks down to see Eddie laying on top of him as blood begins to pool through his stomach to the side as Buck begins to scream in hysteria.

"Eddie! No, No, No. Don't quit on me, please!" Buck pleaded as he rolled Eddie onto his back wincing from his own injuries, the adrenalin pumping through Buck gave him enough energy to move Eddie to his back.

Athena runs down to their side to help Buck, they apply pressure to the shot as Maddie comes down and moves Buck, as she feels her instincts kick in as she begun to treat Eddie to the best of her ability.

"Buck, speak to him! Keep him awake." Maddie spoke firmly to Buck as he Buck nodded in agreement. "Athena help me turn him, I need to see if its gone through."

They turn Eddie slowly, applying pressure when Eddie lets out a scream in agony as Buck strokes his face and kisses his head to try calm him down as they put him back on his back.

"It's still inside, we need to hold pressure. I'll apply, Athena you need to go get that ambulance down here now we can't risk moving Eddie and the bullet moving." Maddie commanded as Athena looked over at her, her eyes wide in horror and anxiety rushing through her.

Athena gets up as she looks to see the flashing lights as she takes off to them.

"Hold on, Athena is going to get help." Buck reassured Eddie as he ran his hand through his hair. "You owe me a date Diaz, you can't quit on me now."

"I…I promise… I'll take you on a… magical date." Eddie winced through his words as he begun to feel light headed.

"Stay awake Eddie, come on you can do it, think of Chris. He's going to need you when he wakes up." Buck reassured him some more.

Buck looked down and noticed there was more blood coming out of Eddies shoulder wound, Buck moves applying pressure to the wound as he looked up to Maddie in horror.

"Maddie I can't… I can't lose him." Buck stutters as tears begin to form in his eyes.

"We wont, just keep pressure on him. Yes! the medics are here, look." Maddie nodded her head to their direction.

The paramedics rush over and start working on Eddie instantly as another starts on Buck, checking the wounds, giving them both some morphine to help with the pain, once they got them stabilised enough they got Eddie onto the stretcher first and got him to one of the ambulances as the placed Buck onto another stretcher as Maddie held his hand.

"Don't split us up…please." Buck begged.

"We can't fit the two of you in the ambulance on stretchers, you know that." The medic reassured him. "We will take good care of him, I promise you."

"I'm sorry, but you can't sir, I promise we will do everything we can to make sure he survives and you do as well." The medic said as Maddie looked over at him.

"Buck, you've endured a lot you need medical help as well, they will look after him I promise you." Maddie spoke softly squeezing his hand.

Eddie is whisked away in the ambulance as they get Buck into the other ambulance, Buck looks up to see Aaron lying on the floor, no motion from him, his face pale and his eyes wide. He knew straightaway that he was dead. He turned his head slightly, he could see Chase being dragged out of the area in handcuffs. It was over, it was finally over, and he knew it. They couldn't get him no more, Buck took a deep sigh of relief as he relaxed as the doors shut and the sirens blared as they begun to move, he turned to see Maddie holding his hand as he gave her a reassuring smile as she smiled at him softly as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I'm so happy I found you." Maddie said. "I don't know what I would do if I lost my big brother…"

"I'm not going anywhere…" Buck smiled as he closed his eyes to rest.

Bucks eyes open when he hears the radio from the front stating that there was a cardiac arrest and that they were losing the patient from excessive blood loss, Bucks heart stopped he didn't know what do he was stuck in a separate ambulance and Eddie was in another dying. He looked at Maddie who was listening her face said it all.

"No, no not Eddie, please." Buck says panickily as he tries to stand, he passes out.


	13. Chapter 13

They arrive at the hospital and both are taken in to different areas Eddie straight to the theatre he was flat lining and Buck to x-rays to see what damage had been done, Maddie didn't know what to do as she stood in the lobby of the hospital, until a hand touched her shoulder and she turned around and saw Abuela.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" She asks concernedly.

Maddie didn't know how to answer the question. How does she explain that Eddie is in theatre and that Buck is also possibly heading the same way?

"Maddie, where's Eddie?" She asks, in the same concerned tone.

"I'm sorry, we found Buck and Eddie got shot twice, he's in theatre right now. I'm sorry its all a mess." Maddie says as she breaks down she didn't want say he was flat lining as they went into the hospital.

"It will all be ok, they are all in the best place. Here in hospital." Abuela says and takes her in a hug "Lets head to Chris's room and wait for some information." She continues.

As they head into Chris's room there is a nurse checking on Chris as she walks out Abuela stops her.

"My grandson Edmundo Diaz and his friend Evan Buckley have been taken in can you find out any information and let us know this is Evans sister." She says, then introducing Maddie to the nurse.

"Of course, as soon as I find out anything I will come and tell you." the nurse explains and heads out.

"Abuela." Chris says in a groggy tone as he slowly awoke.

"Chris your awake." Maddie says In a uplifted tone.

"Yeah, the swelling has subsided, and the doctor is happy with his improvement." Abuela says.

"Where's dad?" Chris asks

"He has had an accident while finding Buck, so he is with the doctors. He will visit when he's done, he will want you to rest." Abuela explains

"That mean Buck is ok?" Chris asks worriedly.

"That he is buddy, and he said to give you a hug from him and he will be in to see you once he's allowed to." Maddie says as she gives him a hug.

Chris starts to nod off again and Maddie sees Athena outside, she quietly gets up and heads out closely followed by Abuela.

"Hey, how is the little guy?" Athena asks.

"He's a fighter, the swelling has decreased and he's awake but resting at the moment. We have explained that both Eddie and Buck are in hospital and will visit later." Abuela says.

"Good, well Chase isn't talking and Aaron, well he's deadand even if Chase doesn't talk, we have the video evidence and witnesses so he's screwed, any news on the boys?" Athena asks.

"No, we told the nurse that we will be here if they have any information but nothing as yet."

"Okay, I need head back to the station; but I will need a statement from you soon, and I will call Bobby so he can pass on the news to the rest of the team. Take care and let me know when you know something okay?" Athena asks.

"Yes, we will do and thank you for finding him." Maddie says.

They hug and Athena heads off, Abuela and Maddie head back into the room. After a few hours the nurse finally comes in and signals for them to come outside so not to disturb Chris.

"How are they?" Maddie asks.

"Eddie was touch and go, but they stemmed the bleeding and removed the bullet, he lost a lot of blood but he's had a transfusion and is in intensive care and we will see how he will progress from there. Buck he's definitely been through it, we have stitched up the wounds, the burn on his leg we have done our best but it will scar but for now we have it covered. He has a few broken ribs and a lot of bruising, his ankle is now in a cast and he will need time to recover, we have given him a sedative just help calm him and so that he doesn't try do something rash." The nurse explains

"What you mean rash?" Maddie asks

"He woke up while we were x-raying him, screaming for Eddie and trying to get off the bed, when he wouldn't listen we didn't have much choice but to sedate him mainly to stop him from making his injuries worse." She explains

"Oh dear, what rooms are they in so we can go visit?" Abuela asks.

The nurse explains what rooms they were in but would be a day or two before either of them would likely wake up there was a lot of trauma and their bodies would need to recover.

"Hey, I'll go check in on Eddie before I head to see Buck and let you know how he is." Maddie says noticing Abuela's indecision.

"Are you sure?" Abuela replies.

"We both know Eddie would want you to stay with Chris." Maddie says smiling.

"That he would, thank you." She says giving a hug to her.

Maddie heads off up to the ICU wing, as she entered she spoke to a nurse and asked which room was Eddie's as she walked in she let out a gasp seeing him all tubed up and asleep the sound of the monitors indicating he was alive, she walked over and took his hand.

"Eddie, I need you be strong, I need to say thank you when you wake up, you found my brother and he will need you now more than ever, plus you promised him a date, I'll send your Abuela up later." She says with a smile.

She lets go of his hand and heads out going back to Chris's room, she sees a text from Chimney she explains everything that the nurse said and asked if there was anyone who would help sit with them as they rotate. She then texted Athena to let her know what is going on. She enters Chris room and finds that he's still asleep with Abuela next to him.

"How is he?" Abuela asks.

"He Is sleeping, I've asked if someone from the 118 can come in, so we can rotate sitting with them that way you can see Eddie and someone will be here with Chris." Maddie explains.

"Thank you, you go see your brother." she says, waving Maddie away.

"I'll be back later, so you can go and see him too." Maddie says as she leaves.

Maddie walks down the corridor towards Buck's room, Chim had texted her back saying that Hen will come and sit with them and that he will take over later. She arrives at Buck's room she takes a deep breath and then walks in. Buck is asleep, his leg raised up and in a cast his face has a few stitches on the cheeks and forehead from cuts his arms also covered in bandages and the gown hid the rest of the damage. She sat down next to him and took his hand.

"Hey little brother, I know you are asleep but I just wanted to say you are safe and I'm so proud of you. You hung in there and survived I know it's a long road to recovery but just know were all here and we always will be." She says as she sits there with him.

A day passes and Buck wakes he sees day light and the smell of hospital hits him, he was free.

**_'it's a dream, I'm not free.'_**

"Hey sleepy head." Maddie says softly.

Buck looks to his side and sees Maddie sat there. He feels tears start to form, the realisation that it was not a dream sunk in then the memories came flooding back.

"Eddie, is he? Please tell me he is okay?" Buck panickly asks, looking at Maddie.

"He is fine, they managed stabilise him, he is in the ICU maybe he'll be there a while. Chris is also okay, but but let's focus on you for now." Maddie says.

Buck starts fidgeting but he looks down sees his leg in a cast and stops and stares at it, but then tries to sit up and move but Maddie jumps and sits on the side of the bed.

"Buck, stop just relax." Maddie says, putting her hands on him.

"No, I need see them, I need see them with my own eyes so I know it's true. Please, Maddie take me or I'm going on my own." Buck says giving Maddie the stubborn and determined look she knows oh so well.

"Fine, sit right there and I'll get a wheelchair, but the second you whimper in pain we come straight back, no ifs or buts." Maddie says, pointing at him.

"Ok, deal." Buck quickly says as he slowly turns to sit on the edge of the bed.

Maddie walks out the room and Buck sits there the pain killers were definitely helping him, but he could still feel the dull ache and knew once they wore off he would feel it all, but for now all he wanted do was go see Chris and then sit at Eddie's side

**_'I can't believe Eddie loves me, but why didn't he say sooner, or was it a ploy keep me going, I need answers.'_**

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear Maddie come back in with the wheelchair and a nurse.

"I advise against this but after the struggle we had when we first brought you in I agree to let you go, but if you start to be in pain I have told your sister to bring you back and if you act up we will sedate you again, you need to be resting." The nurse says with a smile.

"Don't worry he will behave, if not I'll drag him back screaming." Maddie says with a giggle.

"Scouts honour, I'll be good I just need see them with my own eyes that' they're okay." Buck says.

They help him off the bed and into the chair, making sure theIV drip was on the pole on the chair before they started their trip out.

"What day is it, Maddie?" Buck asks suddenly.

"It's Sunday, you were out for a day, mainly through the sedative and general exhaustion I guess." Maddie explains.

"Why did they sedate me, I have no memory of it?" Buck asks

"You passed out in the ambulance and woke in the x-ray room and started screaming for Eddie and wouldn't settle so they had no choice, they needed get you assessed and checked over properly." She explains.

"So, I caused a scene, great." Buck says flatly, looking down.

"You were injured and wanted know about your friend, everyone understood." Maddie says gently.

They roll down the corridor and arrive at Chris's room Buck signals to stop.

"What is up?" Maddie asks confusedly.

"I don't know if I should go in, last time I saw him he was on the floor, what if he hates me?" Buck asks.

"He doesn't hate you; he keeps asking after you and his Dad, he wants see you are okay so lets go in." Maddie says

"Okay." Buck replies

She turns the chair round and starts going in backwards so she can open the door and wheel Buck in as they enter the room and she turns the chair Buck is greeted by the bright smile on Chris's face.

"Bucky!" Chris shouts delighted.

"Hey, Superman." Buck replies in the same tone.

Maddie wheels him over, once by the side of the bed Buck tries to stand and Maddie helps him up and helps him sit on the edge of the bed, as soon as he is on Chris leans over and gives him a hug. Buck rests his face on top of Chris's head gently and holds him tight.

"You're okay." Chris says happily.

"I am because of your Dad and our friends and your okay too, I'm sorry this happened to you." Buck says holding back the tears.

"Its not your fault the bad men did this, not you." Chris says

Buck looks at Chris head it still bandaged up and he looks round to see Abuela and mouths _I'm sorry._

"Don't be sorry, Chris is fine and so is Eddie and you're now safe that's all that matters." She says.

"I know but if I had been stronger, it wouldn't have happened." He says.

"We can't play the what if game, it happened so now we move on and make a better future for all of us." She says with a smile.

They spend the next thirty minutes just talking about mundane things and the whole time Chris doesn't let go of Buck nor Buck lets go of Chris, until he feels Chris start nodding off so he lies him down and kisses his forehead before he climbs off the bed and Maddie helps him back in to the wheelchair.

"We will leave you, going go see Eddie now." Maddie says looking at Abuela.

"Okay, see you both later." she says.

They leave the room and head to the lift and head up to the ICU department once they got there and head in through the doors of the long hall way filled with sounds of machines beeping and moving and keeping people alive. They start towards Eddie's bed, Buck could feel his stomach start turning what was he going say to Eddie when got there, he needed to process everything that happened to him these last few months but he needed answers about what Eddie had said, but if Eddie wasn't awake how could he get answers. They arrive at the room and he starts to panic and feel the nerves come up and then thoughts start rushing through his head.

**_'Remember he said you were exhausting and selfish, why would he love you when he thinks that, it was to keep you alive so you can live a lonely life, remember no one wants you only just to use you.'_**

Maddie could see that Buck was starting to panic so she stopped in the hallway, they could see Eddie's room in front of them, she moves round and leans in front of Buck taking his hand.

"Buck he is fine, tell me what's going on in that head of yours." Maddie says smiling

"It is nothing I promise." Buck says

"Evan, I know you. If anything with all that's happened, we should talk more, I'm guessing its to do with what Eddie said before he got shot." Maddie asks

"You mean when he saved my worthless life." Buck starts but is cut off by Maddie.

"It's not worthless, I know you've been told that over and over, but you worth it." she said with confidence.

"Even Eddie said I was exhausting and selfish, so why now does he say he loves me is it another game?" Buck says with a tear forming

"He told you so you would hang in there, I spent the day with him. He broke down when they sent that horrible video, he blamed himself for not protecting you and when he said that the whole team were angry with the whole lawsuit, I thought you sorted that out?" She asks

"We did but with everything that's happened, I think I'm second guessing everything." Buck explains

"Want some sisterly advice?" She says with a smile.

"At the moment I think it's the only advice I want." Buck says.

"Someone once told Chim tomorrow is never promised, so grab each day as it could be your last. You do not have to jump into another relationship if you don't want to, but just know he has waited for you already and will wait till your ready." She says smiling at him

"When did you become so wise?" Buck chuckles.

"I've always been wise, you just don't listen. So how about we head in there and you say what you need to say to him?" Maddie says giving him a look.

"Okay, let's do this." Buck says.

They start their way back down the hall and to the door of the room Buck takes a deep breath which hurt and looked at Maddie and nods, so Maddie wheels him in and he sees Eddie lying there, with tubes going in and out of him, his chest moving to the beat of the heart monitor, he then see's Bobby and smiles.

"Buck, glad to see your up and about." Bobby says with a smile, as he walks over and hugs Buck.

"Glad to be out, sorry for all the trouble I've caused again." Buck says with a sour tone.

"Nonsense! You couldn't have know what was going happen, they took advantage and used you. Lets just get you both better and back to work." Bobby says

"You want me to work at the station still?" Buck quizzed

"Why wouldn't I, like I said none of it was you, we will take it easy and no rushing back understand?" Bobby says

Buck smiles and pulls him in for another hug and then Maddie wheels him next to Eddie's bed again Buck stands up and sits on the edge of the bed, he looks at Maddie and she knows he wants some alone time so she takes Bobby out so that Buck and Eddie were alone. Once the door closed, it was silent apart from the beeps from the monitor Buck looked at Eddie laying there peacefully knowing it was his fault he was lying there like wipes the tears out of his eyes and takes hold of Eddie's hand, it feels so warm but also so right.

"Eddie, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here and I'm not moving until you wake up, I need to know why." Buck starts and moves a bit trying not let out a whimper knowing his sister would be in like a shot "Why did you say you love me? Was it real or just you trying get me through what was happening at the time and then the kiss was it just to convince me?, I wish you were awake so I could get the answers as my head is so messed up and I don't know what to think anymore." Buck continues to say

He sits there for a while just looking at Eddie and willing him to wake up, he decides to move and sit back in the chair. As he gets up, he feels the hand he's holding grip him and looks to see Eddie slowly opening his eyes.

"Eddie, don't move you have a breathing tube in." Buck says to Eddie

"Can we get help in here? He's awake." Buck shouts and sounds from outside could be heard and nurses and doctors come swarming in and they place Buck in his wheel chair and push him outside with Maddie and Bobby as they work on Eddie, after ten minuets the Doctors and nurses come out.

"Diaz family?" She asks.

"Yeah, that's us" Buck replies.

"He's awake and alert, we have removed the breathing tube, we want him to rest so we won't allow visitors to stay to long but as asked to see an Evan though." The doctor says.

"Okay, I'll push you in and then leave you there until you're ready." Maddie says looking at Evan

"Thanks." Buck says as he smiles as they go into the room.

Once in Maddie helps him up and sits him on the bed and takes her leave, Buck looks at Eddie who is looking back at him both have tears in their eyes, Buck feels Eddie's hand pressing against his and takes hold.

"I'm so glad you're okay" Buck starts "Well, you're not obviously okay, but you're here and Chris is okay too, that's all that matters and I'm sorry you both got hurt because of me, I promise I never meant for it to happen. If I knew what would happen I would have gone somewhere else." Buck says

"Don't." Eddie says gruffly and continued "No one could have seen this happening, so don't blame yourself." Eddie finishes.

"But look at everything, it's a mess." Buck says

Tears start to drip down Bucks cheek and down on to the bed Eddie raises his hand and wipes them away, Buck looks at Eddie and smiles.

"I need know something." Buck says

"Yes, I meant it, I wanted to tell you after you ended up in here and I did but you were asleep, but then I talked myself into not saying anything, as it wouldn't be fair on you and with everything you had been through and had so much to process." Eddie says

"You're not messing with me? I'm sorry to ask again, but my head is all over." Buck says looking away.

"Don't look away, look me in the eyes as I say this please." Eddie says and Buck turns to look at him "Evan Buckley I'm in love with you, if I had the balls to tell you this sooner we wouldn't be here but I didn't, and then I failed in protecting you. I promised myself when I found you I would tell you and when I had you on that ramp, I know it wasn't the best place but I had to say it. I also understand you may not feel the same way, and that it is too soon but I needed you to know someone does love you for you, and I will wait and when you are ready that magical date I promised will be waiting too." Eddie says with a smile.

"Thank you, it means so much and at the moment I don't know how I feel, I need process everything that has happened but knowing you are in my corner means the world, you and Chris are like my family and I nearly caused both of you to die. I know your both here but still it could have gone so wrong, I need to leave you for a bit so I can process everything." Buck says as he starts to climb off the bed

"Buck, please don't go." Eddie says holding on to his wrist.

"I don't want to Eddie, but I don't want ruin this moment" Buck says

"You can't ruin this moment, it's just you and me, I trust you, Buck you know that. You can trust me, tell me what's on your mind." Eddie says

Buck does not move for a while and Eddie has not let go of his grip finally Buck looks at Eddie tears dripping.

"Eddie I've loved you for ages, but then the lawsuit happened, and you hated me so much and then the whole rant at the shop got to me and I understand why you said it now, after we talked and sorted it all out, but I also had him in my ear saying you were all just saying the stuff I needed to hear to keep me sweet. I know now that it was all a lie, but I still can't shake it. My love for you never went away I just had to bury it deep down and keep it a secret, especially when he started - you know to hit me, as it would cause more problems especially if he saw you speaking to me or text me." Buck says looking at Eddie.

"Come here." Eddie says holding his arms up and signalling Buck to come in for a hug.

"Are you sure? I don't want hurt you." Buck says looking at him.

"I don't care if it hurts, I need hold you." Eddie says with a smile.

Buck bends down and feels the arms wrap round him and that's all it takes for him to let go and the tears to really fall and the sound of sobbing and crying fill the room. Eddie looks over at the window and can see Bobby and Maddie looking through obviously they can hear Buck, but they smile and turn round so there backs are facing them. He runs his hand through Buck's hair and feels Buck's arms close round him a bit tighter it starts to hurt, but he doesn't care he has hold of Buck and needs him to feel safe.

"It will all be okay now, just let it out." Eddie says.

"Thank you." Buck sobs.

They spend five minutes like this and are disturbed by the sound of the door opening and Maddie coming in.

"Hey, I don't want to intrude, but I need get Buck back to his room he needs rest too. I'll bring you back tomorrow." She promises the latter as she rubs Buck's back.

"I don't want to go." Buck says.

"I'll be here, I promise I won't go anywhere, not like I can even if I wanted to. Go get some sleep and you can come back tomorrow." Eddie says.

"Okay." Buck says as he starts to rise up from the bed.

As he rises, Eddie moves his hands to either side of Bucks face and leans up and kisses him tenderly on the lips and then lets Buck sit up and smiles to him.

"Until tomorrow." Eddie says with a smile on his face

"Until tomorrow." Buck replies agreeably with a smile.

"We will try bring Chris in as well, now you go sleep and rest up." Maddie says looking at Eddie.

"Thank you, it be great to see him if possible." Eddie says with a smile upon his face.

She wheels Buck out and heads back to his room where he climbs into his bed and falls asleep pretty quickly. Back in Eddie's room Bobby is sitting with Eddie.

"So, you finally told him, I'm guessing." Bobby says.

"Yeah, I know it's like the most inappropriate time to do it, but I couldn't hold it back any longer not after almost losing him." Eddie says

"I understand that. Just you know there's a long way to go, and that's for both of you." Bobby points out the latter.

"I'll be fine after a few weeks rest." Eddie says determinedly.

"No, I'm not having you rush back. Look what happened when Buck rushed back, so your both off until I say so, use this time to help each other through everything. He's going need you now, Eddie. More than before and the rest of the team as well." Bobby says

"I know, its going be hard for him, but I'm ready to show him that I'm here and I won't go anywhere, no matter how mad he gets with me." Eddie says

"There are going be some hard days, but with the help of everyone we will all make it through this I promise." Bobby says

"Thank you it means a lot, I just need sort out how I will look after both Buck and Chris once we get out, were all injured." Eddie says

"Well I think Maddie will be having Buck, and you have your Abuela and your sister is coming, Abuela called her." Bobby explains

"Oh great, as long as its just her and not my parents. I can't face the whole, this is why you should be in Texas with us speech." Eddie grumbles.

"Yeah just your sister, so you have the support at home." Bobby explains

"Thank you Cap." Eddie says with a smile and starts to yawn.

"I'm going leave you to get some rest, they will want move you tomorrow to another ward so rest up and I'll see you tomorrow." Bobby explains

Eddie just nods and watches as Bobby leaves the room, knowing everything was falling in to place but it would take time, he feels sleep come over him and he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

"Buck, wake up, it's just a nightmare." Maddie says as she squeezes Buck's hand.

He was having a nightmare, the memories of his torment were playing on his mind, then watching Eddie bleeding out right in front of him after he had been shot. Maddie was now sitting on the bed she leaned down and rubbed his forehead.

"I'm here Evan, wake up." She whispered into his ear.

As she sat back down and held on to his hand as his nightmare continued, she could see the sweat forming across his forehead.

"EDDIE!" Buck screamed as he woke and sat straight up right.

"Its okay, I'm here, Eddie is safe. Remember you saw him yesterday; it was just a bad dream." Maddie says as she pulls him in to a hug.

"It felt so real, I thought I was dreaming the hospital and I was still back there, at that place." Buck said as he broke down crying "Am I to broken to be fixed?" He asks as he holds his sister tight.

"No, we will get you all better I promise." She says as she lays him back down and takes a seat in the chair again.

"I don't want go back sleep." Buck says looking at her.

"Well you don't have to; we can talk if you prefer." She says smiling at him.

"Yeah, please keep me distracted, how's things with Chim?" Buck asks.

"It's fine. We are good, I'm just not ready for the full commitment thing." She says

"Well, remember what you said to me - tomorrow is never promised, so practice what you preach sis." Buck says with a grin.

"Oi, just because you're in a hospital bed doesn't mean I won't beat you up, I do like him I just don't know yet but I'm enjoying the slow pace we have." She explains.

"I understand, but it's obvious that you're head over heels for him and he feels the same way. You only got to look at you two." Buck says.

"Yeah, well… the same could be said for you and Eddie, you were so close." Maddie starts but is stopped as Buck interrupted.

"Then I went and got the stupid lawsuit started and then met the wrong man which made it worse and ruined it all." Buck says

"Well, you can sort it out now. You know how he feels, and I know you feel the same, just take it slow and don't rush anything, you have to heal." Maddie advised, giving him the concerned sister look.

"I know, I explained that I loved him and had to bury it deep down, how do you dig up something you had to keep so buried for so long?" Buck asks rhetorically, twiddling his fingers.

"I can't pretend to have the right answers Buck but talking to each other properly will be a start on the right path." Maddie replies taking hold of his hand.

"Thank you for being here." He says seriously.

"Where else would I be?" She says.

As they sit Maddie turns the TV on so they can watch some shows to keep Buck's mind busy. After a few hours the nurse comes in to do some checks to make sure everything is okay and then leaves. Then there is a knock at the door and Athena walks in.

"Hey Buckaroo, how are you feeling?" She asks worriedly.

"Like I've been through the ringer." He jokes.

"Well that you have, I'm here to let you know Chase has been charged and you won't be seeing him for a long time, so you can focus on moving forward." she says as she takes a seat on the bed holding his other hand.

"That's good to hear. See Buck, everything will be okay, and you can move on." Maddie says.

"Yeah, I just have sort out the mess that is me now." Buck says looking down.

"You're not a mess, you were mistreated by them and the people closest to you didn't notice, they all feel bad for what happened, and we are all here for you." Athena says

"Have you spoken to Eddie?" She questions.

"Yeah, we had a chat. It went better than I thought it would." Buck responds

"Well, are you going keep me hanging in suspense, what was said?" Athena asks

"We both agreed it's a long way to go till I'm ready for anything like another relationship, but he said he would wait. But Athena, how can I unbury my love for him when I pushed it so far down?" Buck asks.

"That's a question only you can answer. Once you are out of here, you can start working on that. But for now, let us focus on healing." She says

"I don't even know where I'm going when I get out of here. I can't really go to Eddie's and I can't face my place yet." Buck says

"You're staying with me and Eddie's sister is coming up to help look after him and Chris, it's all sorted out." Maddie explains.

"Before you start to worry, we have worked a rota so you're not alone when Maddie's at work." Athena says smiling.

"Thank you so much, when can I go see Chris and take him see Eddie?" Buck asks

"Well, I have to head to the station, so ill leave you to go see them. Take care and I'll see you later." Athena says as she gives him a hug and leaves.

"Come on, your chariot awaits." Maddie chuckles as she points to the wheelchair.

She helps him into the chair and makes sure he has everything he needs before they head down towards the level where Chris was as they headed their Buck started to think to him self

**_'He wants you, you could have a family, but what if I do something to ruin it like I always ruin everything?'_**

His train of thought is broken when he hears the clunk of the door being opened.

"Buck, your back!" Chris says happily.

"I'm here buddy, how are you feeling today?" Buck asks.

"I'm great, my head hurts a bit, but the doctor says all is okay and I don't have to have any surgery." Chris says with a smile.

"That's good, that means you will soon be out of here then, how about we go see your Dad?" Buck asks with a smile.

"Can we? How are you feeling?" Chris asks.

"I'm good buddy, the doctors have worked their magic on me. is it okay with you, Abuela to take him?" Buck turns to ask her.

"Of course, it is, he's been moved to another ward anyway. The nurse explained to me earlier." Abuela replies, seeing his worry.

"Oh right, that's good then. Soon we all will be out of here." Buck says.

Buck watches as Abuela and Maddie help Chris into his wheelchair once in they make there way up to the level where Eddie had been moved to and it was the same level as Buck's. They find a nurse and ask which room it was and head to it, it was a few rooms down from Buck's own room. They arrive at the door and they stop as Buck signals for them to wait a second.

"Look buddy, when we go in your dad isn't going be able move much, so just be careful okay?" Buck explains.

"I know Abuela explained that he saved you and got hurt when he did." Chris says with a smile

"That he did, he's a hero." Buck says smiling.

They head into the room as they do Buck sees that Eddie is slightly sat up and awake

"Christopher!" Eddie says with a smile.

"Daddy!" Chris says as Abuela wheels him next to the bed, Buck signals for Maddie to help put him on the bed.

Buck watches as Chris hugs his Dad and see's the smile on both of their faces and smiles to he knows it's a long road but seeing that makes him hopeful, he then feels his chair been moved closer to the bed to.

"Hey, thanks for bringing him." Eddie says looking at the them.

"He needed see you and we did say we would bring him." Maddie explains.

"You look rough, Buck." Eddie says with a chuckle.

"That's rich coming from you, at least I can move." Buck responds with a teasing smile.

"Maddie, shall we go get a coffee and something for the boys?" Abuela asks pointedly.

"Yeah, we can do that." She smiles, getting the hint.

Maddie helps Buck up and sits him on the bed and gives him a hug and they leave just leaving them on their own.

"Come on, group hug!" Chris shouts reaching out an arm

"Yeah Buck, group hug." Eddie smiles his other arm reaching out as well.

Buck laughs and leans down an arm round Chris and the other round Eddie his head nestled in to Eddies neck and he feels both arms enveloping him.

"I'm glad we're all okay." Chris says.

"I know me too." Buck replies.

"Me three." Eddie says

"Dork." Buck replies rubbing his head on Eddies neck.

"Thank you, Dad." Chris says.

"What for?" Eddie questioned.

"I heard you when you said you will come back and have Evan with you, and you did. You brought Bucky back." Chris said as he squeezed them

"You heard that? And I did." Eddie asks, then finished with a tone of agreement.

"Yeah, I'm happy we have our family back." Chris says

"Me too." Eddie replies.

"Me three." Buck laughs.

"Now who's the dork?" Eddie says he watches as Buck rubs Chris back and smiles.

He is taken by surprise when he feels lips on his cheeks and then the missing of them, he turns to look at Buck, he mouths what was that for?

"For saving me." Buck whispers in Eddie's ear.

"What did you say Buck?" Chris asks as he heard the whisper.

"Nothing, just thinking out loud how perfect it all is right now." Buck replies they all break the hug and sit up.

"So, when can we all go home?" Chris asks

"It will be a few days before you both can head home and same for me but I'll be staying at Maddie's and you have your aunt coming up to look after you." Buck explains

"Why can't we just look after each other?" Chris asks confusedly.

"Because we all have different injuries, which means we are unable to look after each other, but Buck will still visit don't you worry." Eddie explains.

"We can talk over the phone too" Buck adds.

"That sucks." Chris says, starting to pout.

"It does doesn't it? I have loads of things to I want to do as well." Buck says

"Like what?" Eddie questions.

"Well, I saw a big Lego set a while ago. I was tempted to buy and have Chris help build it, I also need you know - time to sort things out." Buck says as he rubs Eddie's hand while Chris isn't looking.

"What Lego set? And I understand Abuela and Bobby explained you might be sad sometimes, but I'm here to give you hugs Bucky." Chris says

"Well, I was thinking the Hogwarts Castle set. That one should take a while don't you think? And thank you Superman, you know I love your hugs. They're better than everyone else's." Buck says

"Oi, my hugs are good too, you know." Eddie says

"There not as good as Chris's though. Sorry, but you're a good second don't you agree Chris?" Buck says.

"Yup. Sorry, Dad. Buck's right." Chris says, and they all laugh.

Maddie and Abuela come back with drinks for all of them and they turn to talking about other things that have happened trying to keep the talk away from what exactly happened, they notice that Chris is starting to nod off to sleep.

"Right mijo, time for you head back to your room and sleep. I'll see you later." Eddie says

"I want stay here with you two." Chris replies stubbornly and sleepy.

"I know you do, but we all have our own rooms for good reasons, so the nurses know what to do to make us all feel better, we will see you later and maybe arrange to have our dinner here in this room." Buck says

"Okay then as long as we get something nice, I don't like hospital food." Chris says.

"Well I tell you what, how about if I ask Bobby when he comes in later if he can cook you some of his famous meatloaf?" Maddie asks.

"Yes please." Chris says with a smile.

"Okay, then let's get you back to your room." Abuela says

"I'll help and I can call Bobby on the way back, you two won't cause any trouble while I'm gone will you?" Maddie asks, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Like we could, if we wanted to." Buck replies, looking around pointedly.

"Another group hug before I go." Chris says as he grabs Buck and Eddie.

As they hug, they see a flash and Buck looks at Maddie who is standing there holding her phone and smiling, she turns to show him and he smiles back, Maddie and Abuela gently lift Chris off the bed and in to his wheelchair and head out of the room.

"Bye Dad, Bye Buck see you later" Chris shouts as he leaves.

Once the door is closed the room falls silent and the sound of the hospital life outside the door can be heard.

"So, I get a kiss on the cheek now?" Eddie says breaking the silence.

"Yeah, well… I wanted give you a return kiss for last night but it felt awkward with Chris been there so I made do with that." Buck replies.

"How did you sleep?" Eddie says changing the subject.

"Not good" Buck replies turning his head.

"Don't turn away, I don't care if you cry, I'm guessing it was a bad dream, tell me about it?" Eddie asks, reaching out a hand.

"I don't know if I can." Buck responds

"That's okay then, I had a bad dream last night too." Eddie says, and Buck looks back at him surprised by the admission.

"What about?" Buck quizzed

"Losing you, that I didn't manage get you out the water, Lena wasn't there to help and I had to watch you drown." Eddie explains as tears form.

"But I didn't, and you got me out with Lena's help." Buck says.

He raises his hand and wipes away the tears from Eddie's cheek, Buck took hold of Eddie's hand.

"Mine was about everything I went through." Buck started and took a minute to breath before he started again "Then I watched you die after you took that bullet for me, no matter how much I tried you died." Buck says

"Well I'm here aren't I, feel." Eddie says He takes Buck's hand and moves it over his chest so Buck can feel the beats of his heart, Buck smiled at him.

"I know you want sort yourself out and I fully understand that. I just need to say it to you again I love you Evan Buckley." Eddie says

"I know Eddie." Buck starts

"But if I had said it to you sooner, none of this would have happened." Eddie interrupts

"No, I mean yes but not just you, it was me too, I could have said something to you first." Buck states

"If only we had talked instead of bottling it up, then you wouldn't have met him, and I wouldn't have gotten into street fighting but no point dwelling on the what ifs is there?" Eddie finishes.

"Very true." Maddie says as she comes in and Buck moves his hand so Abuela does not see.

"Who is with Chris?" Eddie asks

"Your sister Sophia, she is watching him then heading back too yours to tidy up ready for when you leave in the next few days." Abuela explains.

"Oh, right she got here quick." Eddie says

"Not really it is Monday after all, time is weird in this place." Buck says laughing

"It is. Speaking of which, I need get you back to your room, the doctor wants check you over as I maybe able take you out of here tomorrow." Maddie says

"Cool" Buck says looking at her and then looks at Eddie and gives him a sad look.

"Its fine, you need get out of here." Eddie says smiling

"I know just going be weird. Last time I left here was with you. Now we are both in here and I get to go, and you don't, you stayed with me till I could leave." Buck says

"But he wasn't hurt last time. This time you are both hurt, you both need to heal. So, get some sleep Eddie, we will be back later. Bobby is bringing a feast apparently for us all later." Maddie explains

"Okay, will do. See you later" Eddie says with a smile.

"See ya, Eddie. Make sure he sleeps, Abuela." Buck says as he climbs into the wheelchair with Maddie's help.

"Oh, I will, just make sure you nap too." Abuela says, wagging a finger at him.

"I'll make sure he does too." Maddie chuckles.

They leave and head down to his room it really was not far. as they enter and Buck settles down on to the bed, the doctor comes in.

"Mr Buckley, for someone who is meant be resting its hard find you in your room." The doctor says

"I know, I'm sorry but I've been incredibly careful don't have much choice. She would beat me if I did anything." Buck says pointing to Maddie

"Yes, and I should expect so. So how are you feeling, Mr. Buckley?" The doctor asks.

"I'm okay it's just dull aches and the cast is itchy." Buck admits.

"Well the pain could become worse because at the moment you are on strong painkillers and from now we will be lowering them to a standard level which you can take when you leave, the itchy cast I cant do anything about that, sorry. Now I want check the burn are you aware it will scar?" The doctor says

"So, it will show the letters for ever?" Buck says.

"I'm sorry to say but yes, I mean once healed you can see a plastic surgeon to get it covered maybe?" The doctor asks.

"Or you can get it covered by a tattoo." Maddie buts in noticing it was hitting Buck

"I'll know its there though" Buck says with tears forming.

"I know this is hard and we have people trained to talk to you about this." The doctor says.

"He knows and I'll make sure he talks" Maddie says pointedly.

"Can I leave tomorrow?" Buck asks curiously.

"Well, as long as you rest and as we lower the pain medicine, and nothing goes wrong overnight then yes, you can go." The doctor says

"What if I want stay?" Buck asks worriedly.

"Well we can't have you staying. if you do not need to, other people do need the beds." The doctor says.

"I know I'm sorry I'm just been selfish aren't I" Buck says

"No, you're not, look you went through something traumatic. You need to process and heal it isn't an overnight fix, but you have support of family and friends to help you." the doctor says.

"She's right Buck, I can take you to mine and go from there and if you don't feel okay there, we will find somewhere else for you. I promise." Maddie says.

"Thank you. I just want to sleep now." Buck says as he rolls over and closes his eyes.

"I'm sorry about that." Maddie says to the doctor

The doctor signals to Maddie to go outside.

"I'll be back in a minute Buck" Maddie says but no answer.

They walk outside and Maddie closes the door.

"I'm concerned about Evan; he doesn't seem to be processing what's happened he seems to be holding it down and saying all the right things. I'm concerned where that could lead to." The doctor explains.

"Yeah, I have had the same thoughts, he has explained to me he needs process everything but seems to be only focusing on certain things he needs to understand he needs to process it all, how can I help him if he doesn't want help himself." Maddie asks

"It's a waiting game. Just be there for him and make sure he is not alone because when it happens, he will need the support." The doctor says

"Thank you, I have already set up a rota, so he is not alone, and we have contacted the therapist." Maddie explains.

"I have other patients to see, I'll check on him later" The doctor explains.

Maddie heads back into the room and see's Buck is laying on his back now staring up at the ceiling, she takes a seat in the chair next to him and looks at him hoping he will talk but he doesn't.

"Buck, we need talk." Maddie says breaking the silence

"I don't want to talk, just leave me alone. Please Maddie, I just want to be alone." Buck says not even looking at her.

"Not until you tell me what's on your mind." Maddie says

"There's nothing on my mind I just want be alone, I want to sleep and then see Eddie later." Buck said.

"Well, maybe it be best if you do sleep as your in no fit state to see anyone, I'm going go to the canteen I'll be back later." Maddie says.

Buck does not say anything just rolled over. Maddie grabs her bag and heads out down the hall to relax and take some time away.

After a few hours she heads back and looks through the window and see he is asleep.

"How is he?" Bobby asks as he walks behind her making her jump

"Bobby, its you. You just startled me. He was doing ok this morning but then the doctor spoke to him and he turned around and now doesn't want to speak." She says.

"What did the doctor say?" he replies.

"Just that she thinks he is not processing what has happened and just saying all the right things to us and keeping everything else in, he will eventually crack. I don't know how that will go; we both know what he can be like. When he is with Eddie and Chris, he is different like the old Buck but when I take him away from them, he reverts." Maddie explains

"He could be using Eddie and Chris as an anchor where he knows he is safe and he doesn't have think about everything that has happened as there both hurt so he wants get them better but then when he is away from them its like he's out at sea and lost in a storm, he has the time to think about everything and we know he overthinks things." Bobby says, hitting on the right idea.

"Yeah, you could be right. Okay, we better head in. You got the food?" She asks.

"All here." Bobby said, showing the Tupperware food boxes,

"Great. You head to Eddie's room and I'll meet you there. I'll message Abuela to so she can bring up Chris." Maddie explains.

"Okay, see you in a minute." Bobby says.

Bobby heads down the hall towards Eddie room and Maddie walks into the room to Buck, she looks at him and he is asleep she gently taps his shoulder.

"What?" He responds sleepily.

"Bobby is here, time go to Eddie's room to eat." Maddie says

"Okay, has he brought the meatloaf?" Buck says smiling as he sits up.

Maddie could not believe how quick he changed.

"Yes, he brought it. Let us get you out the bed and into the wheelchair." Maddie says.

She helps him out the bed and into the chair and they head out down the hall to Eddies room and he is all smiles as they enter the room.

"Hey Buck, how are you feeling?" Bobby says

"I'm feeling good, can't wait for some decent food though." Buck says with a grin

As they watch Bobby get the food out the bag and place it on the table Buck takes a seat next to Eddie on the chair and they wait for Chris to arrive after a few minutes Chris arrives with his Abuela.

"Dad, Buck! I missed you both." Chris says as he enters

"Missed you to Buddy." Buck says.

"Hey mijo, how are you feeling?" Eddie asks

"Good, Aunty Sophia has been reading to me." Chris says

"Good to hear, now let's eat." Eddie says

"Well here it is all. I'll leave you to eat and I'll see you later." Bobby says

"Can't you stay?" Buck says.

"I can't, I have things to sort out at the station, but I'll come see you soon though." Bobby says

Bobby leaves and they all settle down to eat the food that has been brought in for them and they enjoy talking mainly asking Sophia to tell stories of Eddie as a child as it rare to get the info after they ate.

"Right time you went and go to sleep Chris it is getting late" Eddie says as he noticed the time.

"Do I have to?" Chris says sulking.

"Come on, you know you need the rest." Sophia says

"Okay, let me give you a hug, though Dad." Chris says

Sophia lifts him up so he can give Eddie a hug and then signals that he wants Buck to join so Buck stands and they all hug and they break the hug and Sophia and Abuela take Chris away, Maddie starts to clean up.

"What's wrong, Buck?" Eddie asks

"Nothing, I'm okay." Buck replies untruthfully.

Maddie keeps cleaning up, hoping Eddie can get him to open up.

"Buck, don't you know I know you better than that." Eddie says staring at Buck, giving him that expression.

"It's ok Eddie, I'm going sort it out. I just need time." Buck says

"Okay, but don't hold anything in." Eddie says.

"I won't, it's getting late I better head to bed as I'm leaving tomorrow by the look of it." Buck says

"Are you? That's good at least you can get time to process everything." Eddie says smiling.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." Buck says.

He stands up and leans down to give Eddie a hug.

"Can I sneak in later and sleep in the chair? I don't want be alone." Buck whispers to Eddie.

Eddie looks over to Maddie who is still cleaning.

"Ok" Eddie whispers back, smiling.

They hug a bit more and then break, Maddie stands by his wheelchair as he climbs in and they head off.

"See ya, Eddie." Buck says.

"Bye." Eddie says

"Sleep well Eddie." Maddie says.

"I will just get him back to his room." Eddie says with a smile

She smiles at him and heads out and to his room, as they get in the room and Buck lays down he looks at Maddie who was getting comfy on the chair.

"Why don't you head home, I'll be fine, and I'll see you tomorrow." Buck says.

"I'm not leaving you on your own." She says

"Maddie, I have nurses coming in all night. I'll be fine I promise ill be here waiting for you to take me home." He says

"Are you sure?" She asks nervously.

"Maddie, just do it please. Go home and get some sleep in your own bed." Buck says.

"Okay, I'll be here for you in the morning." Maddie says.

"Okay, see you later." Buck says as he rolls over to sleep

Maddie waits a bit and sees he is going sleep she grabs her bags and heads out, she says to the nurse to check in on him and goes, Buck waits a good ten minutes before he sits up and looks round, no sign of Maddie he smiles the lights are dimmed, he slowly climbs out the bed and in to his wheelchair, he slowly rolls him self to the door and out and down the hall as he reaches the door to Eddie's room he is stopped he turns and sees a nurse.

"Where do you think you are going Mr Buckley?" She asks

"Just checking on Eddie I promise I'll leave soon can I just have some time with him, its hard talk to him when people are around." Buck says giving her sad eyes

"Fine but not to long" She says as she holds the door open and he rolls in.

As he enters the room, he waits till the door closes and heads closer, once he gets to the bed, he pulls himself up and smiles at Eddie.

"Took you long enough" Eddie says with a smile.

"Well I got caught by the nurse she said she gives us some time talk." Buck says as he turns to take a seat.

"You can't sleep in the seat, here." Eddie says as he shifts in the bed making room and lifting the blanket up.

"You're crazy" Buck says.

"No, I'm just making sure you get a goodnight's sleep." Eddie says smiling

Buck climbs up and gets in the bed laying his head on Eddies chest and smiling, Eddie pulls the blanket over them.

"So, want to really tell me what wrong." Eddie says.

"Can we not talk, I just want enjoy the moment, after tonight I won't see you for a while." Buck say

"Why is that?" Eddie asks

"I need sort myself out and I know it will be hard, I mean I will talk over the phone but I need a few days to sort myself out, and you will be in here for a bit longer so it gives me the time sort myself out." Buck explains

"As long as you make sure you do and you're not just saying it thinking that's what I want hear." Eddie says stroking Buck's hair.

"It's not. I really want sort myself out; I want to be happy." Buck explains

"Okay then I believe you. Now let us sleep." Eddie says

Buck nods and puts his hand over Eddies chest so he can feel the heartbeat, Eddie has his hand on Buck's back and the other covers Buck hand on his chest. They both lay there smiling and Buck drifts off and after about twenty minutes, Eddie was still awake but could see Buck was out and the door opens up and the nurse looks over and smiles and leaves, after she leaves Eddie looks down he feels complete but knows it could be a while before he has time like this with Buck again, he drifts off to sleep smiling.


	15. Chapter 15

Eddie wakes after an hour as the nurse has come back to check his vitals, she looks at him and then down to a sleeping Buck.

"He does really need to head back to his room, you need to recover, and I don't think him lying there will help you recover as well." The nurse whispers in a slightly stern tone.

"It's fine, just leave him here, he needs the sleep and if that means staying here then it's fine, when he wakes you can take him back, I promise." Eddie replies

"Well as he is asleep, and I know he hasn't had much. I will talk to my supervisor, but he will wake up and he will hurt as his pain medicine has been lowered and he hasn't had any in a while." She explains.

"Well, when he wakes, I'll press the button so you can come and help him." Eddie says as he smiles at her

"Ok, I'll hold you to that." she says as she takes her leave

As Eddie watches her leave, he feels the sleep catching up to him and he starts to nod off. As he does, he moves a hand onto Buck's hand and smiles as he drifts off. At the same time, Buck wakes and he can feel his body is aching a lot but he doesn't want let out a whimper as he knew that Eddie will wake back up, and he doesn't want that to happen because Eddie needed his sleep since the worry of the whole situation had caught up to him. He looks over at the corner of the room, trying to make out what exactly the time it is. He does not want move and wake Eddie. He worked out that it was only five-am. He looks down at his hand and sees Eddie's hand on top and smiles. as he does the door opens and a male nurse walks in.

"Ah your awake Mr. Buckley. Come on, it's time to get you back to your room, I bet you're hurting as you haven't had any pain medicine in ages." he says looking at Buck pointedly.

Buck doesn't answer just looks at him, he starts to move close and Buck moves quickly and sits up, his body letting him know it hates him for it but he was scared, Eddie wakes straight away as soon as he feels Buck move.

"Buck what's up?" Eddie asks struggling to sit up.

"They're here, they came for me, look there." Buck says tears in his eyes pointing at the nurse.

"I'm sorry, I should have turned on the light, I have come check Mr Diaz's vitals but the nurse I took over when her shift finished that Mr Buckley was also asleep in here and that if he was awake to get him back to his room and give him some pain medicine." The nurse explains

"LIAR, you work for him don't you" Buck shouts, still stuck in his panic.

The nurse takes a step back and looks at Eddie worriedly.

"Buck, look it's ok, he is a nurse he is here to look after you. They have gone, I promise." Eddie says taking hold of Bucks cheek and slowly turning his head towards him.

"But we thought the same about these police officers who ended up working for him, so how do we know he's got nurses to help him finish me off?" Buck says sobbing.

Eddie could not believe how panicked Buck was. He pulled him in and held him close to his chest, it pained him so much due to the injury, but he needed Buck to feel completely safe, he looked at the nurse and mouthed 'call his sister or someone from the 118' and the nurse nodded solemnly and quietly walked out.

"There he has gone; it is just us." Eddie says, and he feels Buck just pull him closer.

"I'm so broken, I don't even know where to start to fix me." Buck says, and Eddie tries not to let out a sob of his own.

"You're not alone, we will do it one piece at a time." Eddie says he lets out a whim he could not hold it any longer.

"Oh god I'm sorry, I forgot you're hurt. Oh, I am so stupid you were right I am selfish. I've ruined everything." Buck starts, but Eddie interrupts

"Shhhh its fine, and you are not selfish you are far from it. Remember we spoke about this I said things as I was angry over the lawsuit and we both agreed to leave it in the past, I should have said something, but I wanted you feel safe, but let me move a bit so I can get comfy." Eddie says and looks at Buck who nods.

Eddie shifts so he is sat up and not twisted up like a pretzel and takes hold of Buck's hand.

"I know we spoke but like I said, I had him in my ear saying things to make me think you were just saying you forgave me to play with my head." Buck says as he starts looking down.

Before Eddie says anything, the door opens and in comes Hen.

"I'm here, what happened?" She asks worriedly.

"That was quick. Okay, the male nurse came in to check my vitals, but Buck was awake, so he wanted take him back to him room and give him his pain medicine." Eddie starts

"He works for him, please don't let them take me again." Buck blurts out and puts his hands over his face and starts to cry.

Eddie puts an arm round him, he looks at Hen who looks shocked at the state Buck was and Eddie nods, encouraging Hen to explain.

"I was sitting with Chris, Chim was turning up to take over, when Maddie called him, she is on her way here, Buck. So, I told her that I would come up and stay with you until she got here. It did throw me when the nurse said Buck was in here, but I'm not surprised." She says looking at Eddie she turns to Buck "Hey Buck, how about I take you to your room and sit with you, you need your medication I'm guessing you are in pain." Hen says taking hold of Bucks hand.

"I don't want leave Eddie." Buck says in a soft tone looking at her.

"Hey, I'll be here, go back and have your medication and take a nap and come back before you leave." Eddie says holding Bucks other hand.

"You promise?" Buck says looking at Eddie.

"I promise that I will still be here. Now go." Eddie says and Buck nods

Hen helps Buck into the wheelchair and wheels him out, as she goes the nurse walks in and sees to Eddie, Hen pulls the wheelchair up next to the bed and helps Buck into it.

"I'll go get the nurse so you can have your medication okay?" She says looking at him

"Please don't, I don't know who is working for him." Buck says

Hen knows she cannot push him so comes up with an idea.

"Well you know I'm not one of his thugs, don't you?" She asks taking hold of his hand and he looks and nods.

"So, how about I go get the medication off the nurse and I give it you, would that be a better idea?" She asks and he just nods again

"Ok, I'll be right back" She says, and he watches as she walks out the room.

He watches the window; he can see Hen talking to the nurse and talking.

**_'She must think I'm exhausting and pathetic.'_**

As he watches the nurse disappear and return handing over something to Hen who then walks back into the room and smiles at him.

"Here you are." she passes the little cup which had the pills and a glass of water, Buck takes them and passes the glass and cup back to Hen.

"How about you lay down and get some sleep?" She says.

Buck does not answer he just slowly lowers into bed and rolls over and pretends to sleep, he hears Hen just take a seat and then silence takes over the room, eventually he hears taps of a phone screen.

**_'must be telling them all how weak I am, having a right laugh at stupid Buck'_**

He fights the sleep trying to take him, he knows if he goes to sleep he will have a nightmare, he wished he was back with Eddie he seemed to sleep so much better there, with him. He knew he couldn't, it wasn't fair on Eddie and he knew everyone would say he is been selfish not letting Eddie recover, he continues to fight his sleep and after a while he hears the door open and Hen make a shh sound.

"How is he?" Maddie whispers.

"He didn't want to talk, I had given him his pills he wouldn't let the nurse in he took his pills and rolled over, I'm sure it must be uncomfortable, but I didn't want push him, he completely shut down when we got back from Eddie's room." Hen replies

"What you mean Eddies room? I left him here." Maddie whispers frantically.

"Well ,after you said to Chim you were on way I came up and he wasn't in here, I asked the nurse and they explained he was in bed with Eddie and that he had been for a few hours, something happened and that's why you got called." Hen explains

Buck lays there listening to what they say, holding his eyes shut and trying not cry

"Can you stay with him for a tiny bit more I'm just going to nip out I'll be about ten minutes." Maddie says

Hen must have answered but nodded and not spoke, he heard the door open and close and the sound of Hen sitting back down.

Maddie started walking from Buck's room to Eddie's as she got close, she saw a nurse leaving his room and guessed he might be awake, so heads in without the nurse seeing her.

"Maddie, why are you in here? You should be with Buck, is he okay?" Eddie says worried and trying to sit up.

"Don't sit up, I'm only here for a quick minute. I just need know why Buck was here and not in his room and what exactly happened." She said looking at him.

"Did he not explain?" Eddie asked confused.

"No, he seems fine when he is around you or Chris but the second, we get him back to his room he shuts down and won't talk, please just explain to me what happened." Maddie says

"I didn't know he was that bad, he is pushing it down how did I not notice." Eddie starts and feels tears forming "he said he is broken and he doesn't know where to start to fix himself, I explained we will help, he said he knew he needed sort himself out I even asked if he was saying it because he knew that's what I wanted to hear and he said it's what he wants, how could I have been stupid." Eddie says, not realising tears had started rolling down his face.

"It's not your fault, he's has had to lie to protect himself, when I spoke to the doctor, they said the same thing about him just pushing it down and not wanting talk about it. Bobby and I agree that he is using you and Chris as a tether he knows your hurt and wants look after you as it takes his mind away from what has happened." Maddie explains

"That would explain why he slept for a good few hours and didn't move, but he freaked when the nurse came in thinking they worked for Chase like the cops did, I had get him leave and call you and then Hen turned up." Eddie explains

"Oh right, well Hen said she had given him his pills I understand he is worried, but he should know that he is safe now." Maddie says as she starts to cry.

"Come here. Eddie says, stretching out his arms.

Maddie walks over and he sits up and pulls her in to a hug.

"It will be okay; we just need be there. When is he due to speak to someone about what happened?" Eddie asks

"Well I was hoping in a day or two after I got him settled but now, I'm thinking maybe he needs to chat to someone today before we leave. At least when he is here, I can bring him to you, and he settles down. I don't know what will happen if I get him back to my place." Maddie says as she sobs into his shoulder.

"Talk to the doctor and see if they can get him to speak to someone before he leaves, and I'll get someone bring my phone in and when he is at yours and he's struggling, get him to call me or you could call me and I'll talk to him and hopefully that will work, but I'm sorry but I don't have the answers why he's like this." Eddie says

"I know and I don't expect you to, you need to recover too. You have already done enough by saving him. I need to step up and be the big sister he needs." She says as they break the hug.

"You are already there for him. You just have to be patient." Eddie says.

"Well I better head back; Hen will want be heading back to Chim to sort out what to do next and I'll sit with him till he wakes up." Maddie says and smiles as she leaves.

Buck lays there still fighting the sleep wondering what was going on, he hears footsteps coming down the hall he closes his eyes and hears Hen move and head out the door he can hear muffled talking but cant make out what there saying, he can see daylight is starting to appear and as he can feel he is loosing the fight to the sleep and finally succumbs and falls asleep.

As he sleeps, he starts to dream and the memories of what has happened start to haunt him.

_Aaron looks at Buck and grins "Oh, don't worry we won't be disturbed. Chase is outside so this time there be no escape, just you and me now." Aaron says as he strokes Bucks face and puts a hand over Bucks mouth then slaps him across the already swollen side so that Bucks screams are muffled, he looks down and sees Buck connected to the IV feed and smiles Aaron positions himself so he has a knee on Bucks arm and keeps his hand on Bucks mouth and then roughly pulls out the needle from Bucks hand which was feeding the IV in to, Buck feels the blood run between this fingers as he screams but there muffled no one is going to hear him._

_Aaron starts scraping the needle up Bucks arm making sure he presses it in to puncture the skin leaving a trial of cuts that start to bleed, Aaron starts to laugh as Buck just has tears coming down, and he says "I'm always going be with you."_

Buck sits up sweat dripping down his face and Maddie instantly jumps out the seat .

"What is it?" She asks

Buck does not answer he just looks down at his arms, there no new cuts he lets out a sign and looks at Maddie.

"It was just a dream." he says and lays back down

"Buck, you need talk about it, you can't bury it down. You do know that don't you?" She asks

He doesn't answer he just turns his head and blanks her, eventually he hears her sit back down, he looks towards the window the hospital is busier now, people walking past he then see's the door open and his doctor walk in, he sits up and smiles at her.

"Hi Mr Buckley, first off I wasn't impressed that you sneaked out, but I understand you got some sleep which is good, how is the pain?" The doctor asks

"It's okay, it's just dull aches but nothing I can't handle, sorry about last night I just knew I could sleep better there." Buck responds.

"Well I'm happy you're not in too much pain, so I am willing to let you go home but after you have spoken to the therapist." The doctor explains.

"What why, you never said anything about that yesterday." Buck says shocked

"Buck, I think it will be good to speak to them" Maddie says standing up .

"You will have to speak to them soon Mr Buckley, this way they have somewhere to start, I promise it won't be a long session just a few questions." The doctor says

"Liar." Buck says.

"Buck!" Maddie says shocked "I'm sorry Doctor." She says looking at the doctor

"Its fine, I understand with everything you have been through, so how about you get dressed ready to go, we will get all the pain medication you need, then you can go to the therapist and once you're done in there your free to go how about that?" The doctor says looking at Buck

Buck sits there for a minute thinking it over; he looks at Maddie and she smiles at him.

"Okay." Buck says carefully.

"Right, I'll go get the discharge forms all set up you get ready and I'll go see when one of the therapist are free to chat with you." The Doctor explains

Buck watches as the doctor leaves and he looks at Maddie, she stands and smiles at him.

"I'm proud of you little bro. Here I got some clothes for you, I'll go out and you can change." She says with a smile.

Buck nods, she turns and heads out and Buck starts to get dressed. Luckily, Maddie had brought his sweatpants that were baggy from when he had the ladder truck crushed his leg and it was during the cast time period. Once he was dressed, he sat on the bed and waited for Maddie to return as she did the doctor was with her and holding a pair of crutches.

"So, Mr Buckley, the therapist is ready I've explained to your sister where to go, and here you will need these to get around." The doctor explains as she passes the crutches over.

"Thank you, Doctor." Buck says as he hopes up using them.

"Come back down here when your done and we will give you your medication and you can go." The doctor says with a smile.

"Thank you, Doctor," Maddie says, and she holds the door open as Buck walks through.

They head to the lift and head to the therapist room, the whole way their Buck did not talk. He just followed Maddie on auto pilot he did not realise he was there till she stopped

"I'll be out here; remember they just want ask a few questions for when you come back to see them properly." Maddie says

"Okay, see you soon." Buck says

Maddie opens the door and Buck heads inside, as he enters the room, he hears the door close, he looks round the room there is a sofa and a chair where the therapist is sat and some plants.

"Hi, you must be Evan. I'm Doctor Rogers, I'm going ask some questions, why don't you please take a seat" She says.

Buck wanders over to the sofa and sits down, he continues to look round trying not look at the doctor.

"It's okay to be nervous, I know this can be a daunting thing, but there is no rush we will go at your own pace and will stop when you want, do you understand what I've said so far?" She asks

Buck finally looks at her and smiles and nods.

"Ok, so your doctor has given me a brief run down of what has happened, so my first question Evan is how are you feeling right now?" She asks

It takes a minute for the question to register with Buck.

"I feel I don't know how I feel if I'm honest." Buck manages to get out

"That's fine, we all deal with trauma differently its finding away that suits you to cope with it and help you through it." she explains "Why don't you go through what has happened, remember there's no rush" she says

Buck sits there looking at her then starts looking round the room his thoughts start playing up.

**_'She just wants laugh at how weak you are, if you don't give them something, they will keep you in, you need say something she is judging you.'_**

"What do you want me say? I'm broken I know that, I spent the last few weeks been beaten and told how useless I am, that no one wants me, that all I'm worth is been used, even when I do tell people all I get is used and tossed to the side." Buck takes a breath he can feel the tears falling "I know I brought it on myself as I was been selfish by going through with the lawsuit I drove everyone I cared for away which lead me to meeting someone who showed me some attention and because I was lonely I took what I could." Buck finishes

"Good, you're not broken though, you were beaten and abused not just physically but emotionally as well, your mind thinks what you have been told is true, but it isn't Evan far from it." She says firmly as she passes a tissue over to him.

"But if I just spoke up earlier about it, nothing bad would have happened and Eddie and Chris would be safe. it's my fault there both in here." Buck explains

"You don't know that, Evan. We can't predict what can and won't happen, we can only focus on what has happened, how did you sleep last night?" She asks

"I slept okay when I was-" Buck starts but stops "But when I went back to my room the nightmares started and it felt so real." He continues

"So where exactly did you sleep okay? I'm not hear to judge I'm here to help." She asks.

Buck took his time he did not know how to answer it, his thoughts creeped in

**_'If you tell her she will laugh at you.'_**

"Evan, what was exactly different to when you slept okay to when you had your nightmare?" she asks again in soft tone.

"Eddie." Is all Buck managed get out

"What about him?" She asks.

"When I'm with him, it's like everything disappears and when I'm taken away its like a wave of emotions hit me all at once and I just want be alone until I can go back to him, I fell asleep on him and for the first time I got a few hours sleep without a nightmare but then I woke and freaked out because the male nurse was in there." Buck says.

"Eddie is your safety net then, where you know you will be safe and he will look after you, is that because he saved you? Or is there more to him?" She asks.

"Yes." Buck answers he takes a deep breath "I am in love with him and I had to bury it deep down because if _he_ found out he would hurt me more, it was bad enough if Eddie texted me or _he_ saw him talking to me, I would be beat up. So I pushed my love so far down but now I don't know how to unbury it back up, he saved me and took a bullet to save me and all I can do is break down on him and not say how much I love him." Buck explains

"We can talk about that, but please explain what you mean when you said you freaked out when you saw the nurse?" she asks

"When I was last in here, I had two cops in asking questions but then found out they were there for Chase as they worked for him so I thought the nurse worked for him and he was there to get me, I know it sounds silly." Buck says as he wipes the tears away.

"Nothing you say is silly, anything you say helps us reach the best way for you to deal with your trauma." She explains.

"All I want do, is get out of here heal and get back to work and tell-" Buck stops again his thoughts start playing on his mind

**_'remember they only pretend to want you to get help, they will just use you and toss you to the side.'_**

"Go on Evan, tell what?" she enquires softly.

"Tell Eddie that I love him, but then my thoughts start telling me that no one wants me and I can't make them be silent." Buck says

"Like I said, you have had it driven in to you through your abuse that it will take time for your thoughts to stop been like that but I have to tell you, they will never go away you have to be prepared something could trigger them and you need be ready for that, we can focus on that in our proper session I think we have covered enough don't you?" She says with a smile to him.

"Yes, thank you." Buck says.

"It is okay to be sad, just lean on your friends and family they are here to support you, I will arrange an appointment for your next session and be in contact with you, and here this is my number if you need to talk in between." She says as she hands him a card.

He smiles and gets up picking the crutches as he did, she opens the door and Maddie stands up from where she was sitting and walks over to him and gives him a hug.

"See you soon, Evan." The therapist says.

"Okay, thank you again." Buck says.

"Come on, let's go get your pills and go." Maddie says.

"Can I see Chris and Eddie before I go please?" He asks

"Of course, you can. Come on let's go." She says

They head towards the lift and go to Chris's level as they walk to the door Buck looks through the window and see's Bobby in there with Chris and he is reading him a book, they make there way through the door.

"BUCKY!" Chris shouts.

"Hey buddy." Buck says.

Bobby stands up and offers the chair to Buck and as Buck walks towards it he stops and hugs Bobby tight.

"You have crutches now?" Chris asks

"Yeah just till my ankle is better. How are you today?" Buck asks.

"I'm fine. I'll be going home soon, but Dad's got to stay a bit longer." Chris says pulling a sad face.

"I know buddy. It sucks but remember that you have people looking after you like I do too, so soon we will be all healed and able spend time together." Buck explains.

"I know. It's just going to suck." Chris says with a laugh.

"It does, tell you what. How about I read you a story before I go?" Buck says

"You're going home today?" Chris asks

"I am, but you can call me whenever." Buck says with a smile.

"Okay, lets read this one." Chris says showing Buck a book.

He spends the next fifteen minutes reading to Chris. Once he is done, he gets up and gives him a big hug.

"I'll see you soon buddy. I promise." Buck says

"Okay Bucky." Chris says with a smile.

"See ya later." Buck says as he starts heading out

"I'll pop round soon, Buck." Bobby says as he stood up.

"Thank you." Buck replies and gives Bobby another hug.

"You ready for the next stop?" Maddie asks.

"Yeah." Buck replies

They head out and down to the lift again, Buck kept quiet as he focused on moving with the crutches soon enough, they were in the lift and heading down the hall towards Eddie's room when they got there Buck looked through and saw Chim in there talking to Eddie, Buck smiled as he entered the room.

"Oh, look who it is." Chim teased with a grin.

"Nice to see you too, Chim." Buck says as he gives him a hug.

"Come on Howie, lets give them so space. Buck I'll go get your pills." Maddie says.

He watches as they leave the room and the door closes, he turns to Eddie and smiles as he sits on the bed.

"So, you are breaking out today then?" Eddie asks, with a teasing grin.

"Yeah, I wanted stay, but they said I had to go home with the warden." Buck grins

"Its nice to see you happy, did you speak to the therapist?" Eddie asked seriously.

Buck stayed quiet a minute and then felt a hand on his he looked down and smiled.

"Yeah, she asked some questions I answered and I'm going to arrange my next one." Buck explains then starts to tear up.

"Good to hear, what's up don't be sad." Eddie says slowly moving to sit up better.

"It's just-" Buck stutters, but he takes a deep breath in and out "I'm scared." He says trying not look at Eddie.

"What has you scared?" Eddie questions.

"I don't want be out there alone." Buck says

"You won't be alone, you have Maddie and from Chim has said, you're having your own personal guard 24/7." Eddie says

"But none are you, I mean I slept so well with you and then when I was in my own room I had a nightmare, the therapist explained I see you as a safety net and that's why I feel safe round you." Buck explains looking at Eddie.

Eddie holds his arms up and signals Buck in for a hug, he leans forward and lets Eddie wrap his arms round him as he wraps his round Eddie.

"If you struggle to sleep or your having a bad time call me, I have my phone now so I'm on the other end whenever." Eddie explains.

"I know but I need be strong and sort myself out I can't always rely on you." Buck says seriously.

"I understand that, but don't think you can't call because you want to try and power through it by yourself, you need to remember its okay to ask for help and no one, and I mean no one will judge you for asking for it either." Eddie explains as he rubs his hand up and down Bucks back gently.

"Thank you for being there, I promise I will call when I need or want to." Buck responds.

Then Eddie catches sight of Maddie in the doorway.

"Right, it looks like the warden is waiting for you to go, I'll let you leave, and I'll talk to you soon." Eddie says and with that he gives Buck a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll message you later." Buck replies as he gets up and Eddie lays back down.

As he stands up, he turns and smiles at Eddie and then he bends down and kisses him on the forehead. He follows Maddie who has his pills and they start to head out as he gets to the entrance he stops.

"Want to do it together?" She asks.

"Please." Buck responds, nodding.

She takes hold of his hand and they walk out and to her car, he gets in as she places his bag in the boot and they drive to hers. Once they arrive at her place, she has him all set up in the guest bedroom, he heads in to the living room where Maddie is and sits next to her she flicks on the tv and they settle down to watch tv. He switches his phone on he has not seen it since the docks. As it turns on his face drops his background had changed and it showed Aaron just staring at him with a caption under saying 'I'm always going be with you'. With that image burning into his eyes, Buck lets out a massive sob and Maddie looks and sees what's on his phone just as he chucks his phone across the room and it lands on the other side after hitting the wall, Maddie jumps up and holds him close.

"It will be alright Buck. I am sorry I should have checked your phone. it's going be okay." She says as he sobs his heart out on her shoulder.


	16. Chapter 16

Maddie spends the night in and out of Buck's temporary room. He struggles to sleep, due to the nightmares. They finally settle on the sofa again watching TV. Buck looks over and sees that Maddie has fallen asleep. He slowly gets up, trying not to disturb her. He moves the blanket, so it is fully over her, then he glances at the coffee table where his phone now sits the screen cracked. He reaches out to attempt to pick it up, but he stops and shook his head and heads to the kitchen hobbling, using the crutch as best as he can. but as quiet as he can and gets a drink of water. As he drinks, he looks back into the living room. The tv has some silly shopping show on asking to buy the latest crap for Christmas.

**_'No one will want me round for Christmas, Maddie will leave me to go off and enjoy it and ill be alone like I always am.'_**

Buck decides he needs some fresh air. He slowly heads to his room. Thankfully, he is on the lower floor so he would not need to climb any stairs. He grabs a fluffy gown that his sister had got him. He looks at the picture of stitch (from Lilo and Stitch) on the front and smiles. He looks at the time on his bedside clock its five-am. He slips his trainer on and heads back down the hall, quietly lifting the crutches up and down. He opens the front door slowly and takes the keys that were nearby.

As he closes the front door slowly making sure it was locked, he turns around and as the brisk cold December early morning air hits him, he rubs his hands as he looks round the enclosed courtyard, Buck liked the fact that Maddie lived in a enclosed complex. He made his way across the courtyard trying to manoeuvre the crutches on the cold ground and saw a bench nearby and sat down. As he sits there, he looks up and can see the stars above him it is a clear night he could see that dawn was close, but dark enough that he still could see the stars. He just sits there looking up wishing he could be up there where he would have no worries whereas down where he is there is problems all over. He looks over at the fence and watches the odd car and jogger pass by.

**_'I'm broken and weak, maybe it be better off for everyone if I just vanish.'_**

He sits there for a while longer not knowing how much time has passes as he just watches people go by there business, the morning sky still dark but the tell-tale signs of morning is in the air, he is broken out his thought when he hears a voice.

"Now, I know you aren't sitting out here all alone, now are you?" Athena says as she opens the gate.

"I've not been out here long." Buck replies truthfully as he turns round to look at Athena walking to him.

"Well, come on. Let us get you back in the warmth, put some coffee on and we can chat" She says with a smile.

They head over to the front door, Athena watches and offers to help him as he struggles with his crutches and trying to use the key to open the door. They quietly enter and walk pass the still sleeping Maddie and into the kitchen. Buck starts to walk over to the kettle, but he feels a hand on his shoulder he tenses up.

"Sorry, Buck." Athena says, "You sit at the island, I'll make the drinks." She continues

"It's okay, I'm sorr-" He starts but Athena gently interrupts.

"Baby, you don't need to say anything. I understand completely." She says with a smile

He nods back and watches as she fills the kettle and starts making the drinks.

"Hey Athena, is it six am already?" Maddie says

Buck looks at her and when he glances over to the clock on the microwave. sure enough, it was nearly six am. he had been outside for nearly an hour.

"Yeah, I found this one outside watching the world go by, so I brought him back in." Athena says as she sets a third cup.

"Buck, what, when?" Maddie asked a bit shocked

"Sorry, you fell asleep and I couldn't do the same, I wanted to get some fresh air, so I went out." Buck said looking at his sister.

She walked over and held her arms up signalling for a hug and she waited till Buck leaned in and held him close.

"You should have woken me up, we could have gone out together." She says

"I know but you have work, and needed the rest, I'm fine." He says

The sound of mugs being placed on the table made Buck turn and break the hug, he turns round and sees the mugs and looks at Athena and smiles as he picks up his crutches and wanders over to the living room. Maddie walks over and places his coffee mug down and smiles as she heads back into the kitchen. Buck positions himself and looks at the TV which is now turned off he just sits there looking at the black screen and tries to listen into what is been said in the kitchen.

"Rough night then?" Athena asks.

"Yeah, it did not help when he turned his phone on and the first thing he saw was Aaron, he threw his phone across the room, I left it on the table. I'm going take it with me to work and I'll see if I can get the screen fixed and then change the background etc, he then had nightmares so we came to the Livingroom but I must have nodded off." Maddie explains.

"We knew it would be hard, it's his first day. How was he at the hospital, Bobby mentioned something about not processing everything?" Athena asks

"Well, I got called in as he thought the male nurse had come to take him back to his own room, he had somehow gotten it in to his head that they worked for Chase you know like the police officers. Anyway, Hen went to him to be there until I got there as Chim took over watching Chris, she got to his room and he was not there. He was in Eddie's, when I got there I spoke to Eddie, it turns out Buck had gone to his room after I left and slept in his bed, Eddie asked the nurse to leave him as he was asleep, he broke down shortly after that with the nurse, but then when he got back to his room his attitude changed and wouldn't talk to anyone." Maddie explains

"So, Eddie is like a safety net?" Athena asks but notices Buck is listening in and walks into the living room and Maddie follows looking abit confused.

"Hey Buckaroo, I don't want you thinking were talking behind your back we aren't we are just trying figure out what's best for you." Athena says and sits next to him and Maddie sits on the other chair.

"I know, I guessed people would talk about me, and to answer you yes he is." Buck says looking down.

"Hey, don't you worry. No one thinks less of you for feeling that way. I would rather know you have someone that can do that for you and make you feel calm than no one at all." Maddie says looking at him.

"Yeah, but now I won't see him for a while, and I can't even text or call him or Chris because I broke my phone." Buck says as he starts to cry again.

"Don't you worry baby; we can use mine to call them later. Why don't you settle on the sofa and I will sit with you and Maddie can get ready for work, what you say?" Athena finishes with a question, rubbing Bucks arm slowly to assure him.

Buck does not give an answer. He just places his cup down and turns to lay on his side, pulling the blanket further up to cover his face, he can feel the tiredness seeping in and nods off. He doesn't know what time it is, but the loud crash of a glass be smashed makes him jump up, he looks round and swears he see's someone in the corner of his eye at the window and jumps up and runs best he can with his crutches in to the kitchen.

"Woah, slow down Buck, I'm sorry I dropped a glass." Athena says stopping Buck in his tracks.

"There someone by the window." Is all Buck can say as he looks over still shaking and tears dropping

"I'll go look you sit here and don't move." Athena says.

He watches as she walks over and looks through the window after looking, she grabs the tv remote and puts the CCTV on watches the screen, she turns round and heads back.

"There's no one their baby, come look." She says.

She walks him back over to the sofa and they watch the CCTV, Buck looks at the screen watching and after five minutes there is no movement of any kind.

"I'm sorry, I could have sworn there was." Buck says holding his hands to his face.

"I know, but your safe I promise. Do you think I would let anyone we didn't know anywhere near you?" Athena states questionly.

"No, you would kick their asses." Buck says, "Why can't I be strong like you?" He continues in a self-pitying tone.

"Baby, you are strong, after everything you are here and yes there is going be dark days but there is also beautiful days to come. I promise you that you will be back at the firehouse enjoying life and we will have a big party."

"At yours?" Buck asks

"Wherever you want." She replies with a smile.

They sit there watching the TV and Athena changes the channel to some day time crap, they sit together for a while in silence, Buck feels comfort that he knows no one would mess with Athena Grant, and that she wouldn't let anyone hurt him.

"You must be hungry, its eleven am. Shall I make us some food." Athena says

"Yeah, I'll help if that's okay." Buck responds

"Tell you what, you sit at the island and we call Eddie how about that?" Athena says with a smile.

"I'd like that." Buck replies with a smile.

They wander over to the kitchen taking it slowly, so Buck didn't put any strain on his cast. Once he was sitting down he watched as Athena messed with her phone and then he heard the ringing as she passed Buck the phone, half expecting it be a voice call he was surprised when he saw Eddies face appear on the screen, Buck let a smile out.

"Well, you're not Athena." Eddie jokes.

"Yeah, sorry to disappoint." Buck says looking a bit sad.

"Hey, don't be. To be honest I prefer you over her any day." Eddie says with a grin.

"If you want come out of that hospital and end up back in there within the day, I'd be careful what you say." Athena says teasingly, appearing next to Buck and Buck just let out a laugh and Athena hugged him and walked off.

"Well now that's you told off, how is Chris?" Buck asks.

"He is fine. He should be out by Sunday." Eddie starts and looks a bit grim

"What is it Eddie?" Buck asks noticing the look.

"I don't want to worry you, everything be okay, but they took another scan of his head and the swelling hasn't fully gone like they hoped. It's dramatically smaller but they want keep him in until it goes away fully." Eddie says looking at Buck.

Buck does not say anything he can feel the tears forming.

**_'It's my fault, I said he would be okay. He is going hate me for lying to him.'_**

"Buck don't think anything bad. You could not of know this would happen, and he will be fine. I promise." Eddie says firmly.

"I know, thank you." Buck says

"How did the first night go." Eddie asks

"Could have gone better, but I'll get there." Buck replies

"I'm proud of you-" Eddie starts and then he looks up. Buck wonders what's going on "Yeah, can you come back in a minute? I'm just on the phone." Eddie can he heard saying and then looks at the phone "Sorry, the doctor wants me go for an ultrasound." Eddie says.

"Why? you are ok aren't you?" Buck asks starting to panic

"Yeah, it's just routine to make sure all the work they did inside is holding and there's no problems nothing more. So, do not worry, I better go. I don't want upset them too much." Eddie says

"Ok, I'll call back later." Buck says

"Tell you what, call about seven pm." Eddie says with a grin.

"Why then?" Buck asks curiously.

"Just do it okay. I promise you will enjoy it." Eddie says grin still on his face.

"Fine, talk later." Buck says, shaking his head.

"See ya later." Eddie says as the call ends.

Buck looks up at Athena, who smiles at him and slides over the plate with a sandwich on it and he passes her phone back to her. She joins him and they sit in silence as they eat the food once done she passes Buck his pain pills and Buck takes them and then moves back on to the sofa and starts watching random stuff on TV and Athena joins him, the show on TV is on about Christmas and spending time with people. Buck turns it over to another channel and again it is about Christmas and he huffs as he turns off the tv and Athena looks at him.

"You okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, just all this Christmas stuff." He says looking down

"Go on what about it? I thought you loved Christmas." She asks with an enquiring tone

"Yeah, normally I have somewhere to go but this year I don't, who's gong want a broken mess like me round for Christmas bringing the atmosphere down?" He sarcastically says as he gets up and starts hobbling off.

"Buck, wait." Athena says standing up.

"Just leave me, I'm going to my room to rest." Buck says not even looking back he hobbles off to his room and sits on the bed, eventually he lays down and starts to cry and nods off.

Buck wakes up, sweat dripping down him he had yet another nightmare. He shook it off and looked at the clock it was 6:30pm he had managed get a few hours before the nightmare had started, as he get's his senses back he can hear shouting from down the hall. He stands up and starts hobbling down the hall with his crutches and the sound of Maddie arguing could be heard once he got near the end of the hall he stopped so he could listen in to what was been said.

"You don't understand what he's been through." Maddie says.

"But you can't do that, its nearly Christmas and you are being unfair." She says again sounding frustrated.

"Fine, you get your way I'll speak to him and sort out a date." She says and then the sound of the phone been tossed down indicated the call had finished Buck waited a minute before he started walking into the living room.

"Sorry, did I wake you" She asks.

"No, I had a nightmare, who were you shouting at?" Buck asks

"It is okay, we can talk about it later, Athena made us food for either now or later, she explained Eddie said to call at seven so up to you." She says

"Later please not hungry, guessing she said I walked off? And Maddie, tell me if whatever happened concerns me, I need know." Buck says looking at her

"Athena explained but she understands, she came to check on you and you were asleep so she left you to it, and that was the lease people for your apartment they have apparently been trying get in touch with you for a while I explained everything, Buck I really did but they were having none of it." She says

"Shit, I forgot it was up at the end of this month, with everything going on I forgot, what am I going do?" Buck says as he sits and starts sobbing.

"It's okay, you can move in with me till your back on your feet understand, we will sort a date to go get your things" Maddie says

"I don't know if I can face going in there it's too soon though." Buck replies

"Its fine, I can arrange with the 118 to go and get everything out so you wouldn't need to go there. At least that way, you won't have to deal with seeing anything of _his_ again." Maddie says as she strokes his arm.

"True, but I can't stay here forever, ugh. So, I will be alone and homeless for Christmas. Great." Buck voice changes as he turns and looks away from Maddie.

"First you aren't homeless. You can live here and second what makes you think you will be alone for Christmas? I am here plus Athena has asked, well not asked more like demanded that we turn up at hers on Christmas Day and if we do not, she's coming here to drag us there. I promise you I'll be next to you." She says but can see his attitude has changed she knows its to be expected just when he thinks he is getting somewhere something else happens.

"Well, you will have move and talk to me or have you forgot you're due to call Eddie hasn't he got something for you?" Maddie says

She watches as Buck reluctantly turns round and smiles at her.

"See not so hard smile at me is it? Oh, you got an appointment with the therapist in two days. The appointment's time is on Friday 6th December at 11am but I'm working and can't get it off so Bobby and Chim both offered to go with you. So, I'll let you decide which one you go with." She says as she wanders into the kitchen.

Buck sits up and looks round he had not noticed Maddie had brought all the Christmas decorations down he smiled. Even though he felt like the whole world was out to get him, Christmas still made him smile. he turned to see Maddie coming back with her laptop and setting it down, once she had set it up and was about to leave, he grabbed her and pulled her in to a hug.

"Thank you" He says and breaks the hug.

"Anytime brother, now let's call Eddie see what he has planned." Maddie says taking a seat next to him.

They click call on Eddie's contact and watch as it says connecting video, Buck has the biggest grin when he see is the cheery face in front of him.

"BUCKY!" Chris shouts.

"Hey Superman, what you doing there? Shouldn't you be in bed resting?" Buck asks with such a big smile.

"Dad promised I could talk to you, he said you were feeling sad and that I would cheer you up and I have! Look at how much your smiling." Chris explains

"That you did, let me say hi to your Dad." Buck asks.

They watch as Chris moves a bit so both Eddie and Chris fit in to the picture, Buck smiles as he sees both Diaz boys there on the screen. He watches as Maddie does something and smiles to him.

"Hey, looking a lot happier, now aren't you?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah thanks to you, thanks for letting him come on." Buck says

"You are joking. I would have never heard the end of it if I hadn't, how did the rest of your day go, Athena make you do anything silly?" Eddie questions

"You are only asking that because you know once your out she going hit you after your comment earlier, to be honest it kind of went bad not long after that and not long I woke up but hey, guess what my bad luck continues I'll be homeless after Christmas." Buck says sarcastically

"Buck you won't, I've told you." Maddie says

"What's Bucky on about?" Chris asks looking confused.

"It's okay he got a bit confused; he is going be staying with me a bit longer his lease was up and the company won't extend or let him apply again." Maddie says

"Why not, did you explain everything?" Eddie asks.

"Of course, they just wouldn't have any of it." She replies

"Are you surprised, after all I brought to the building, I bet the neighbours said not to, its fine like you said I'll stay with you." Buck says disheartened to Maddie.

"Its okay, Bucky me and Dad will come to you and we can make slime." Chris says chuckling

"Yeah, okay." Buck says

"Not in my kitchen you won't" Maddie jokes.

"Well, if I'm staying it's ours." Buck responds smartly.

They continue to talk for the next half hour and eventually they can see Chris is finally nodding off so they say their goodbyes and arrange the next call, as they hang up Maddie takes hold of the laptop and does something when she places it down there's a picture of Chris and Eddie set as the background and Buck starts to tear up.

"So, if you can't talk to them at least you can see them" She says as she rubs his arm.

"Thank you, it means a lot" Buck says wiping his eyes "So are you putting the decorations up?" Buck says pointing to the pile of boxes.

"Yeah, only if your ok for me to put them up I didn't know weather you would want to" She replies

"Go for it but we will need a tree, it would be best to get Chim looking for the perfect one, but before we do that, can you help me do some Christmas shopping I need order a load of things?" Buck asks.

"Of course, But first I'll make a hot chocolate for us both." Maddie replies.

She goes over and makes the hot chocolates and they sit there as Buck says what he wants to buy, and Maddie finds the products and she smiles as she sees Buck is so happy as he orders the presents.

"Buck, I can't believe how much we have spent." Maddie says

"Well I feel like I need to make it up to people." He replies. "But I had saved up all year to spend loads at Christmas, it called saving" He continues to say

"They are happy you are back and safe; you didn't need get them anything, but I'm sure with the amount you have spent on Chris he will be so happy. I can't moan at you I know you really do love him; I'll have to tell Eddie to up his game." Maddie jokes.

"Oh yeah he will." Buck laughs.

After finishing there drinks they settle down and end up going bed, again Buck struggles to sleep. Over the next two days they seem to go past as a blur. Different people staying with Buck as Maddie works. He has his off moments with them, but they stay around. Chim turned up Thursday night with a tree and helped decorate as Buck instructed where it should all go. In between it all, parcels kept arriving from wherever Buck had ordered them. It finally got to Friday, and Buck asked Bobby go with him they first went to the nurse to get his dressings changed then in the session Buck broke down and walked out after just thirty minutes, the therapist explained she understood and scheduled him in again for Tuesday. but she asked if someone would come in with him, Bobby explained he would arrange it. When they got back to Maddie's, Bobby made some coffee and they were sat there just watching TV he was waiting for Buck to talk, he did not want to push it.

Buck sat there watching tv not wanting to talk. Today had taken its toll, but he looked round and smiled at the sight of boxes he needed go through and wrap he was looking forward to doing that, he jumps when there was a load knock at the door and he looked at Bobby who looked at him.

"There's no one due, everything I ordered is here and Maddie wouldn't knock." Buck said with a tone of panic.

"Don't worry you're okay. I'm here, you put the CCTV on, and I'll go answer." Bobby says

Buck fiddles with the remote trying make it work and he struggles trying to figure it out.

"Its okay, Buck you will like who's at the door." Bobby shouts and Buck looks over.

"BUCKY!" Chris says as he wanders over to Buck.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were staying in hospital till Sunday." Buck says

"The doctor said the swelling had gone so he was free to leave, I said I'd take him to mine until his aunt could get him. But he said he would only leave if I brought him here. I hope its okay, I know it's after eight so it might have been too late." Abuela says

"Of course, it's never too late to bring him round. Come here buddy." Buck says as he opens his arms and pulls Chris in for a hug.

"Come on I'll make you a coffee so they can spend some time together." Bobby says and walks with Abuela into the kitchen

"I told them I wanted see you and give you a hug plus I have one from Dad too." Chris says as he hugs Buck tighter.

"Thank you, so your free at last. Now we focus on Christmas." Buck says with a grin

"Yeah, I asked my aunt to have the decorations out so I can help put them up before Dad gets home." Chris says

"I'm sure he will love that." Buck says

"He will, it be more fun if you came to help, but I know you have to stay and get better." Chris says with a yawn.

"Come on hop up, I'll put a movie on, and we can watch it." Buck says he looks over to Abuela and she nods.

As they watch the film half way through Buck see's Chris has nodded and fallen asleep on Bucks chest he could feel a dull ache as Chris was on his wounds but he didn't mind, he reaches over to get the blanket which was down the side of the sofa and pulls it over the both of them and he feels himself nod off to, happy he had Chris with him.


	17. Chapter 17

Buck has a nightmare that he is in the boot of the car again, his panic and terror wakes him up as he gets his bearings, he can tell he is in the living room. The glow off the Christmas lights dimly lit the room he could feel a weight on his chest he starts to panic again wondering what it could be, he felt movement and he instantly froze.

"It's ok Bucky, it is only a nightmare" Chris says in a soothing tone as he rubs his hand over Buck's chest.

"Chris? What are you doing here? I thought you would have gone home?" Buck asked totally confused he thought Abuela would have taken him home.

"I'll explain later, go back to sleep." Chris says.

"Okay." Buck says agreeably.

He is totally confused with what is going on, but he will not ruin it. He will just enjoy what he has right now, he looks round the room again the room is more vivid now. His eyes have adjusted the decorations of the room shine and he looks down at Chris who is snuggled into his side now, but his arm was on Buck's chest. Buck feels a tear form and roll down his cheek he is so happy, he closes his eyes and nods off again.

"Good morning." a soft voice says as Buck wakes he does not recognise it.

"Stay away" Buck says as he moves his aching body in front of Chris to protect him.

"Bucky, its fine." Chris says as he rubs his hand on Buck's back.

Buck just stares at the woman in front of him, he knows he has seen her before but not sure where

"You won't take him away and hurt him, I won't let you." Buck says moving his hands

"It's my Aunty Sophia remember?" Chris says taking hold of one of Buck's hand.

**_'I must look like a right fool, I bet I scared Chris I'm such a fool'_**

"I'm sorry, you just took me by surprise." Buck says looking down.

"It is fine I understand. I am sorry, I should have got Maddie to wake you both. Breakfast is ready though; I will go in the kitchen. Bring Chris with you when you are ready, okay?" She finishes as she walks off.

"I'm sorry buddy, I didn't scare you, did I?" Buck asks as he turns to Chris.

"No, daddy explained there maybe be some days you wake and are scared and to rub your back until you're calm again so that what I did, and it worked." Chris smiles at Buck.

"That it did, thank you. Come on, let us go and see what silly healthy breakfast Maddie has made for us." Buck says with a grin

They slowly get up, Buck passes Chris his crutches and then grabs his own as they make their way over to the kitchen. As they approach, they can see the table is filled with pancakes and fruit juice, Buck looks at Maddie and she smiles at him.

"Pancakes! Buck it's not a silly healthy breakfast." Chris says and quickly puts his hand over his mouth.

"Oh, you don't want pancakes then" Maddie jokes

"Oh no we do; I hope they're just as good as Bucky's though." Chris says as Sophia picks him up and places him on the seat at the table.

"Want know a secret Chris?" Maddie says in a not-so-secret tone and Chris nods "Who do you think taught him to make pancakes?" She asks with a smile.

"You did!" He says with a smile.

Maddie nods at him and moves round to help Buck sit.

"For the record, you may have taught me how to make them, but I improved them." Buck jokes

He looks over the table there is a plate full of pancakes and juice he pulls some over and starts to eat as Maddie and Sophia join in and they eat quietly, Buck looking up enjoying the scene in front of him, he still couldn't believe it was happening.

**_'I'm going wake up and its going be me alone I just know it, I'm always alone.'_**

"Hey, what's on your mind?" Maddie asks

"Nothing. I am just enjoying the breakfast, but why is Chris still here? I thought Abuela would have taken him back." Buck asks

"Well, when she saw both of you out cold on the sofa, Bobby convinced her to let him stay, she called me and I came round and Maddie said it would be okay, you hadn't woken up in hours neither had Chris and Maddie explained you hadn't slept much. So, I said I'd leave him here and come back in the morning." Sophia said with a smile

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me." Buck says gratefully.

"Well, seeing how you went to instinctually defend him, I can see why my brother trusts you with him." she says.

"He told you that?" Buck could not believe what he was hearing

"Oh, he told me, he argued with our parents over the matter when they did their 'we know better' routine but seeing it for myself, I know he made a good choice. Didn't he Chris?" Sophia explains.

"He did, my Bucky keeps me safe." Chris says before he takes another mouthful of pancakes.

Buck nods and continues to eat the food on his plate, Maddie passes him some pain pills and he has them with his juice, he smiles at her.

"So, I see someone has been busy." Sophia asks pointing to the pile of boxes in the corner

"Yeah, he has. I told him he didn't need to, but he loves Christmas." Maddie jokes

"It keeps me busy, though I must admit will be fun wrapping them." Buck says with a laugh.

"I can help." Chris says, and Maddie looks at Buck.

"It's okay, buddy. I have the Grinch here to help. Anyway, you need help your aunty to get your house decorated before your dad gets out remember?" Buck says deflecting the question

"You are right, I wish you could come and help though." Chris says

"I wish I could, but I wouldn't be any help, I had Chim and Maddie do the ones here as I couldn't really do much." Buck says and see's Chris face drop "Tell you what, okay I'm down for coming and I'll sort some way of getting the house decorated and we will make it super Christmassy okay?" Buck says and notes the look off Maddie.

"You promise?" Chris asks.

"Pinkie promise." Buck says holding his pinkie up and Chris links it.

"Well, eat up and we will head off and then Buck can get ready if he is sure into coming with us." Sophia says looking at Maddie.

"Yeah, don't worry we will sort something out." Maddie says in an annoyed tone.

They all finish up and Sophia and Chris leave and once the door closes and Buck starts heading to the kitchen, he grabs a black bin bag out the cupboard.

"Buck what are you playing at?" she questions.

"Going put the bag round my leg so I can shower like I have been doing these last few days can't go round Eddie's house smelling like crap." Buck says.

"I know that but promising Chris you will help, don't you think you should focus on other things." Maddie says.

Buck knows exactly what she is on about

"Maddie I just want enjoy one day just one day where I can focus on something else and enjoy the time. Yes, I need sort myself out, but this is something I can enjoy, why would you want take it away?" Buck says and starts to cry.

"Buck I'm sorry. I didn't think, I just want to help you, I didn't mean upset you." Maddie says as she walks over and hugs him.

"I know I'm broken; I just want one day to forget all the bad things and what I'm going have to do in the future to get myself sorted, yesterday at the therapy session I couldn't cope and I walked out but I just need time I promise." he says holding her tight.

"You are not broken, Buck. We will get through this; do you really want to go?" She questions.

"I made a pinkie swear, you know that I take these ones seriously." Buck says.

"Okay, go get showered then we will dress the wounds again. While you shower, I will round up the troops asking if they have any spare decorations and bring them to Eddies, I'm going prove to Chris I'm not the Grinch." Maddie says putting her tongue out at him.

"Thank you." Buck says gratefully as he hugs her.

As Buck hobbles to the shower and showers he enjoys the water running down his back and can hear the water hitting the bag on his leg. Once he's done he towels himself dry and pulls a pair of boxers on and looks in the mirror, it had been round a week since he was saved but the bruises were still there not fully faded but they were still there. He looked at some of the cuts on his chest they were not deep but still they were there. He ran a finger over one and flinched at the pain but then continued to push on it tears forming from the pain.

**_'I can actually feel something or than fear and its good.'_**

"Buck, you decent enough for me come in?" Maddie asks.

Buck jumps and quickly wipes his finger from the blood that had started to come out

"Yeah" Buck says and watches as Maddie opens the door.

"Oh, your bleeding how that happen?" She asks worriedly.

"I caught it while I was drying." He lies to her.

**_'I can't say I deserve it she will talk me out of it I know I do.'_**

"Okay, well… I'll sort that one then the rest of them." She says with a smile and continues "Oh, we have pretty much a full team, Bobby and Athena are coming with Harry and May, Michael, Carla, Chim. Karen and Hen can't unfortunately, but that's enough I think, I told Chim get hot chocolates and cookies." She says

"Okay, cool. Christmas is coming." Buck says painting a false smile to her

He stands there as Maddie applies cream and fresh dressings to his wounds once done, she hands him some pain pills and a glass of water once he is done she leaves him to get dressed, once he is done he hobbles down the hall and picks up his fixed phone, he lets a small smile as the lock screen appears and it's a picture of him, Eddie and Chris he looks up and see's Maddie there smiling at him.

"I guess you like the new lock screen?" She asks

"Yeah, thank you." He replies.

"Don't worry I went through it and anything to do with you know who is gone, now the car is loaded so let's go." She says

Buck nods and hobbles on his crutches as they head to the car, once in they start their drive and Maddie starts searching on the radio.

"What are you doing?" Buck asks

"Looking for this." She says as she finds the radio station that just plays Christmas songs. "I told you I'm going prove you wrong, that I'm not the Grinch." She says smiling.

They listen to Christmas music all the way to Eddies, Buck keeps to himself just watching the streets go by, he felt his stomach turning as they get closer the memory of what happened last time start to reappear his hand starts gripping the chair tightly, as they pull up to the front of the house it's pretty much bang on where exactly the car that took him away was parked his nerves are on edge even more now.

"We're here." Maddie says as she opens her door.

Buck jumps and looks round to see her leave, when he turns back round, he sees her at his door, and she tries to open it and he holds it close.

"Hey, want open the door for me?" She says

All Buck can do is look at the front of Eddie's house the memory of Chris laying on the floor hits him and tears start to fall.

"It's okay, it's just a memory." Maddie says as she enters the car in the driver's side to comfort him.

Buck cannot shake it; all he sees is Chris. He is stuck in a loop that keeps playing in his mind. He closes his eyes and puts his hands over his face and lets out a cry, he jumps as he feels a hand on his back.

"I'm here Buck." Maddie says softly.

They stay like that for a few minutes

"Hey, why don't you look up now, it will be all better." Maddie says, as he hears the smile in her voice.

"I'm scared to." Buck says.

"It will be okay, I promise." She replies.

Buck moves one finger slightly over so he can look and is greeted by a cheesy grin waving at him on the path.

"Chris." Buck says as he opens the door and hobbles over and grabs hold of him.

"It's okay Bucky, I understand. I was scared the first time when I came back too." Chris says holding tight to Buck "Everyone is here to look after us and they brought so many decorations." He says with a giggle

"I should hope so, and I'm sorry that I freaked." Buck says as he breaks the hug.

"It's okay, I got you Bucky." Chris says as he holds a handout.

Buck takes hold of it and Maddie passes him one of his crutches. Chris and he slowly head into the house as he enters, he see's people all over smiling at him and so many boxes of decorations waiting to put up.

"You know he is going be so moody when he sees all this." Chimney jokes as he approaches Buck slowly.

"I know, but this Christmas has got be extra good to cancel out the bad. Isn't that right, Superman?" Buck says looking at Chris.

"It does. I can't wait see Dad's face; we will have record it for everyone!" Chris chuckles.

"That we will, especially as we most likely won't get see the live reaction due to work, but to have it on video to tease him will be brilliant." Chimney adds as he walks out and heads to Maddie.

Buck looks round and watches as Chimney gets loaded with boxes from Maddie's car, as he turns, he sees Carla walking up.

"Hey Buckaroo, let's go get a drink and we can talk plan of action with the rest of the team." She says

They wander through the house and Buck says hello to people as he walks past them, and he finally sits down and puts his leg on another chair to rest it a bit. Carla walks over and places a hot chocolate and a cookie in front of him and smiles, he sees Athena and Booby approach.

"Well, look who gets the easy job." She teases him

"Sorry, I would help but under orders to just do a Bobby and boss people about today." Buck says and Chris laughs loudly.

"Oh, like that is it?" Bobby says smiling

"Yeah, so let's get started, I know he will go all moody about it, but it's fun isn't it Chris?" Buck jokes

"It is." Chris says

"Well, you don't have live with him" Sophia says as she walks over

"True but still it be funny, even if it stays up for a day but it will stay up longer especially when we say most of it is other people's so they want it back he won't want rip it down as he knows what will happen wont he, Athena?" Buck says with a smirk.

"That he does, so shall we start?" Athena says, "Troops rally up." She shouts and gives Buck a wink

"Hey everyone, first thanks for coming I know it most likely the last thing you were expecting today." Buck starts and stops to breathe he feels Maddie's hand behind him and smiles "It's been hard as most of you know, but today isn't about me or how broken I am, today is officially classed as Operation Christmas Overkill. My deputy has a simple request and we will do our best to complete the task." Buck says holding back the tears he knows our in his eyes he nudges Chris.

"I want every inch of the house covered in Christmas." He says, and everyone laughs, and they all set off splitting up and going into separate rooms so they can start.

"Sophia, I just want say sorry about you know this morning." Buck says looking sheepishly

"I told you its ok, after everything you've been through to defend Chris like that, I understand why Eddie had you as a best friend." She says smiling "Do you both want to see something funny?" She says with a grin.

"Yes." Chris says with a giggle.

"Okay what is it?" Buck asks

Sophia then pulls out a box and opens it and it is filled with pictures.

"No way, is that-?" Buck starts before Sophia finishes with a gleeful grin

"Eddie, yes when he was ten." Sophia says, "They are all the Christmas ones from when we were kids I brought them to show Chris but thought it may cheer you up too." She says.

"Oh, they have, I've got to wind him up." Buck says gleefully as he takes his phone and takes a photo of it and sends it Eddie with the text 'Haha, don't you look like a moody kid :P'

"He will be so moody when he knows we've seen these." Chris jokes.

"Seen what?" Maddie asks and then bursts out laughing as she sees it "Is that Eddie?" she asks

"Yup." Sophia replies

"I'll need to find out where's Buck's I think it's only fair, what do you say Chris?" Maddie says grinning

"No, you won't." Buck interjects.

"Yes!" Chris shouts

Just then Buck's phone starts ringing and it's Eddie he looks at Maddie, who holds her hand up and helps Buck up and heads to the back door and signals Chris and Sophia to follow, he answers the phone as they walk out.

"Where on earth did you get that?" Eddie says down the phone

"One second, let me put you on video." Buck says.

"There, now you can see us." Buck says

"Chris, hey buddy what are you, er- hang on, that's my backyard." Eddie says and looks confused

"Isn't your Dad clever? He can tell we are at his." Buck jokes.

"Well, yeah but I thought it might be hard to be there you know after." Eddie says seriously.

"It was, but this one here helped me through it, didn't you?" Buck says hugging Chris.

"I did dad, Bucky looked sad when he got here and I knew it was because of what happened, so I went out and hugged him like you said to and he would be okay." Chris says with a smile

"That's good but why are you there, you're both meant be resting." Eddie says in an annoyed tone.

"My fault brother, I brought these pictures up to show Chris, and he wanted Buck to see so I asked Maddie if he could come over." Sophia says

"Oh great, how many have you seen?" Eddie groans.

"Just a few but trust me I can't wait see the rest of them, neither can Chris." Buck jokes

"Don't worry Eddie, I'll get some of Buck for you." Maddie jokes.

"Thank you." Eddie replies.

"So, what you got planned now you're at mine?" Eddie asks

They all look each other and smile.

"What?" Eddie asked.

"Were going make cakes for when you get out, you will be out soon won't you?" Buck says

"Yeah, and you don't need make cakes." Eddie says.

"We do that, or cookies." Chris says thoughtfully.

"Also, we need to discuss the lack of Christmas in this house, Edmundo." Buck jokes.

"Well I'm in no fit state, I'll get them up when I'm out and able to move, you know I like it basic and simple, I can't stand the glitter and tinsel falling everywhere." Eddie complains and Maddie tries not laugh to loud.

"I know, well when you're out we will come round and help decorate." Buck responds with a grin

"Anyway, we better go, I need get him home soon." Maddie says.

"Okay, look after each other." Eddie says.  
"Look after yourself." Buck responds seriously.

"Bye Dad." Chris says

"Bye" Maddie and Sophia say, and they hang up and the second they do all four of them start laughing.

"What are you four laughing at?" Athena asks curiously.

"Eddie just called, I asked how he is going to decorate when he comes back, and he said, and I quote him verbatim: _basic and simple._" Buck says as he and Chris start laughing again.

"Well, he is going be in for a big shock, then isn't he? Right, I think we need up the Christmas come on; you need make sure were doing okay." Athena says.

They all head back in and sit at the table and watch as people move round decorating everywhere after a few hours it looks like the people have finished so Chris and Buck look round at exactly how much had been put up there was decorations everywhere, Buck looks at Chris who has the biggest grin on his face that's when Buck knows they have done good. They continue to walk round and see that the living room is covered top to bottom, the Christmas tree is up, lights everywhere. The kitchen is the same, they investigate Chris's room and its filled as well. They checked the guest room and like Chris's room, it is filled with Christmas decorations. They then investigated the bathroom, which had decorations everywhere. The shower was the only place there was not any. They then in peeked into Eddies room, they had covered everything in tinsel it was wrapped round the lamps, the bed posts, door handles. Basically, everything was all Christmassy. Chris started laughing, so did Buck and then they followed Athena to the front and the front was also covered up. Once they were happy, they thanked people and they started to leave, Buck said goodbye to Chris and Sophia and made their own way home as it was getting late.

"It was a good day." Maddie says, smiling.

"Yeah it was." Buck agrees with a smile.

"Fancy a film and pizza when we get in." Maddie asks

"Maybe, I'm feeling a bit tired so might have a nap." Buck replies

"Ok, maybe after the nap." Maddie says agreeably.

They arrive back at Maddie's and Buck hobbles into his room and sits down on the bed.

**_'so useless, couldn't even help today.'_**

The thoughts in his head started to bug him, so he moves his hand on his chest and starts to press down hard on to the wound like he did earlier. he continued to press against it until the voice stopped, once it did, he stops adding pressure. He lets out a sigh and lays down pulls the cover over him and falls asleep.

"Hey sleepy, it's time for some pills" Maddie calls out as she comes in with the medication and water in tow.

Buck slowly moves and sits up and he can feel a twinge on his chest.

"Oh, it looks like it bled again. I'll go get the kit from the bathroom and clean it for you." Maddie says.

Buck then remembers something Aaron had said to him.

**_'Remember, you're a first responder. Aren't you trained to do this stuff?' _**

"It's okay, ill sort it out myself." Buck says abruptly as he stands.

"Buck let me; it will be easier." Maddie starts.

"Maddie, no I can do it myself." Buck says

He starts to hobble off into the bathroom, he closes the door and locks it. He pulls his shirt off and the dressing and looks at the wound. His mind starts to wander, and thoughts appear.

**_'She thinks I'm useless, I got to prove her wrong, but I am useless.'_**

Buck instantly starts pressing down on the wound trying to make the thoughts go away and when they would not, he really pushed down and trying not let a moan of pain leave his lips. eventually the voice went and he released the pressure, he grabs the kit and cleans the wound up and redresses the it up and hobbles out the room and in to his to get a fresh shirt and sees Maddie sat on his bed.

"See, I can do it." Buck says as he picks a shirt

"I never said you couldn't, I was just trying help" She replies

"Well if I need it, I'll ask. Won't I?" Buck snaps and Maddie storms out.

Buck looks up to the ceiling and sighs, he quickly pulls the shirt on and hobbles down after her.

"Maddie wait, I'm sorry" Buck shouts.

As he gets to the kitchen, she is standing at the island and looks at him.

"I know, I'm sorry for pushing you. I should give you some space sometimes. I'm just worried about you." She says

"Maddie, I'm, here aren't I?" Buck says looking at her.

"I know, it just…it could have easily gone the other way." She says with a tear rolling down her face.

"Come here." Buck says holding his arms open.

They hug for a bit, the both crying, Maddie being worse off, as Buck was taller, so his tears fell on her head.

"Pizza." Buck says.

"Okay." Maddie replies, wiping her eyes.

They order pizza and watch a film and sure enough, it made them tired and knowing that it is time for bed, they prepared separately for bed. As Buck lays down into the bed, ready for a night of sleep, he can sense the awful thoughts in his mind and before they would form, he starts pressing down again on the wound which makes them disappear and he smiles as he nods off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Buck spends Sunday and most of the day Monday just going through the motions, he was getting frustrated that he could not seem to get a break away from people. It only when he was in bed or the bathroom, other than that people were always around him. It was Monday night and he and Maddie were sitting in the living room, Chimney had not long gone but left them with snacks.

"Do you want any of the chips?" Maddie asks.

"I'm okay." Buck responds.

"Well, what have you eaten today? I know it's not much." Maddie says.

"I'm not hungry." Buck says.

"Buck, you need to talk to me. I can help you, you know." Maddie says.

"I know." He replies.

"Who is going with you tomorrow?" Maddie asks.

"No one, I can do it on my own you know." Buck says turning around on the sofa to avoid the look his sister is most likely giving him.

"Evan, they want you take someone in with you, so you will have to." Maddie says

"I don't want to Maddie; I'm fine going do it on my own." Buck responds

"You didn't even do the full session last time, look I know you want to show people you can do this on your own but we don't want you to, so please for me say you will take someone." Maddie begs.

"Maybe, can I get some rest now." Buck says as he pulls a blanket up.

"You want to sleep on the sofa?" She asks.

"Yeah just for a bit. I'll move to my bed later." Buck replies.

He does not hear Maddie's response drowns her out as he can't be bothered listen, he just closes his eyes and nods off, as he sleeps he starts to dream.

'Buck stands mainly because he's tired but doesn't make a sound and then a few more hits he sees Aaron walk over smiling, holding a rod in one hand which is glowing and he can see letters AJ and in the other hand a blow torch which he uses to heat up the metal more.

"You will never forget me after this, I'll always be a part of you always." Aaron says as he kisses Buck on the cheek.

Buck starts to move but can't move much Chase smacks Buck again, Chase grabs Bucks phone and starts recording as Aaron places the stamp on his skin, a blood curdling scream is let out of Bucks mouth and tears role down his cheeks and passes out from the pain, and Aaron pulls it away and laughs.'

Buck wakes with a jolt, sweat coating his face and he reaches for his leg where the bandage that covers the mark he can feel the dull ache coming from it, the memories reminding him what had happened, he looked round there was just a lamp on and he looked at his phone, smiled at the lock screen and saw it was realised he must have nodded off. He looked over to the other seat and did not see Maddie, she must have gone to bed. He rolls over and sits up, he slowly lifts himself up grabbing his crutch and heads over to the kitchen, he looks through the cupboard looking for some pain killers he finds them and takes two with a glass of water and heads back to the sofa taking the pills with him so he had them just in case, he puts the TV on and puts a random film on and starts to watch his eyes drooping but he wills his mind to stay awake as he watches the film and it comes to the end he can feel the pain in his leg so he takes another two he knows he shouldn't, but the pain was really getting to him, after he takes them he picks another film to watch and starts watching.

"Hey babe, what are you watching?" A man's voice comes from behind.

Buck jumps and turns his head round and see's someone he did not expect

"What, what are you doing here your dead?" Buck asks

"No, I'm right here see feel." Aaron says as he takes hold of Bucks hand.

"It's not real your dead I saw your body" Buck says as he snatches his hand back and tried to get up.

"Sit back down" Aaron says pushing Buck in his chest.

Buck looks up and is frozen it cannot be real but at the same time he felt the hands push on his chest, he tries to get up again and he feels a tug on his arm.

"You are going nowhere babe; remember I'm going be with you forever." Aaron says smirking at Buck.

Buck throws his hands out breaking the hold and falls to the floor he starts crawling across the living room floor dragging his leg in the cast the best he can he looks behind to see Aaron was walking behind him, Buck sees a vase on the side table and grabs it chucking it at Aaron, he misses and the vase falls somewhere behind, Aaron then presses his foot on Bucks cast and Buck cant move, Aaron bends down grabbing Bucks arms pinning them to the floor as he kisses Bucks cheek.

"I told you, I will always be with you, no matter where you go ill be right here." Aaron says as he places a kiss on his lips.

"You're not real, you are dead it's my mind playing tricks." Buck repeats.

"Really if I'm just a trick you won't mind when I do this" Aaron says

He leans back and grabs a shard of glass from the broken vase, he mauves himself above Buck so that he is straddles over Bucks torso a knee holding one arm as he uses the free hand to hold down Bucks left arm, he leans down kissing Bucks cheek and he starts to run the shard down the arm making sure it punctures the skin

"Please stop, PLEASE." Buck shouts.

"EVAN, oh my god what are you doing." Maddie screams.

Buck looks over to her and then down to his body there is no sign of Aaron, his right hand has hold of the shard and his left arm is bleeding from where he is cut, he chucks the shard across the room and breaks down, tears falling as Maddie wraps a towel from the kitchen round his arm.

"What happened?" She asked

"He was here Maddie, Aaron was here he and me pinned and then he wouldn't let me go" Buck sobs and takes a breath "He said he was always going be with me, it felt so real. But I did this I'm going crazy aren't I." Buck says

"No, you just had a bad dream, I'm not trained in this, Buck so I don't know what say." Maddie says.

"I know, I just want it stop, I just want move on, I wish I wish…" Buck starts but can't finish the sentence.

"You wish what?" Maddie asks.

"That they killed me at least then I wouldn't be living like this a broken mess." Buck blurts out.

He turns from Maddie, but she will not let go of him and holds him tighter, he just falls into her embrace, after ten minutes she starts to move a bit.

"Come on let's get this looked at and see if we need go to hospital. Then we will have a coffee and talk." Maddie says

Buck nods and gets up with the help of Maddie they walk to the kitchen and she gets the first aid kit, she cleans it up and looks at it.

"You're lucky it didn't go deep. It just needs a bandage on it, but we will keep an eye on it." She says.

Buck doesn't reply he just watches as his sister clean the wound more and applies the bandage on to it, once done he watches her clean herself from his blood and make a coffee and pass it to him as she heads in to the living room armed with a dust pan and brush and cleans up the mess.

"I'm sorry." Buck whispers out.

"Buck its fine I never liked it anyway." She says smiling

"But didn't Chimney get you it?" He asks.

"Yeah, but I didn't have the heart to say to him how ugly it was. If he asks, I'll just say you had a bad dream and knocked it over. He will understand." She says as she finishes up picking the pieces.

"You can't use me as your excuse to get rid of the vase you could have easily told him the truth." Buck responds, with a faint smile.

Maddie just looks at him and they both chuckle, Buck continues to watch as she surveys the flor making sure there are no more shards laying round, once done she empty's the dust pan in to the bin and sits next to Buck on the stool.

"How are you feeling?" She asks

"Silly. I'm sorry I went crazy." Buck says looking down

"Don't be, look Evan I can relate to some of what happened as I lived it with Doug, and you know what got me through it?" She says looking at Buck "You, you showed me that there was a new life for me all I had to do was take a leap and move on from the horror that is my past. Therapy helped me so much and I know it can be scary at first, but it does get easier and you have the support of everyone." She says smiling.

"I know and I can't thank you enough, I guess it's just a time thing isn't it?" Buck says.

"It is fine, look its 6am and your appointment is at 9am so what do you fancy doing as I'm guessing sleep is off the table." Maddie asks

"Can we go out? I know you have to be at work at 8am, who is even taking me to the therapy?" Buck asks he did not know the last few days were a blur.

"Bobby is taking you; he has offered to sit in with you if you want." Maddie explains.

"But isn't he working the night shift till 8 am, he will be tired." Buck says.

"He is and he doesn't mind." Maddie explains.

"How about you drop me off at the station I can sit with them until he finishes at 8am then we can head straight over that way you don't have worry about me." Buck says.

"Ok, I'll message them and say we are coming but you really do need someone in there with you." Maddie explains.

"I don't know who to ask, I understand everyone would but it's hard you know, means I have open up about everything that happened and process it but I'll feel like I'm been judged if someone was there. I wish Eddie was better, and I know that sounds so selfish, but I know I would be at ease if he was." Buck says

"I know, but he needs be in the hospital where he can get the right treatment for his injuries, speak to Bobby when we get there and see what he suggests." Maddie says

"Ok then, I'll quickly get changed." Buck says.

He gets off the stool and Maddie hands him his crutches he heads down to his room and listens to Maddie stomp up the stairs once he is in the room he starts to get changed and notices the gauze on his chest he goes to press it but stops. Instead, he picks up a shirt and pulls it on, followed by a baggy pair of shorts. He heads out and down to the living room where Maddie was already sitting in her work uniform, with one trainer in her hand and holds it out to Buck, he sits and takes the trainer and slips it on.

"I messaged Bobby they are in the fire house, they have had a quiet night, I mentioned your cut, don't worry I didn't explain the ins and outs I just said you had a bad dream and knocked the vase over, Hen says she will give it a good look at when you get there." Maddie smiles.

"Thank you." He replies.

They get up and slowly head out to Maddie's car, once they were in the car, the drive to the firehouse was done in silence and when they pull up, Buck starts to panic it's been a long time since he was here and the last time he was, he wasn't on best of terms with everyone just kept it all formal. He is broken out his trance by a knock on the window and there stood Hen. She opened the door and he climbed out falling in to a hug from her, he didn't embrace straight away but eventually did, Maddie came round with his crutches and they headed in, and they helped him up the stairs, as he got to the top he could smell food and knew Bobby was cooking as he reached the top he saw Bobby smiling at him, Chimney on the side helping and a few others who must be covering him and Eddie.

"Glad you could come; I'm making omelettes for us all." Bobby says as he quickly walks over and holds his arms open and waits for Buck to accept the hug.

Buck nods and Bobby pulls him in close, they break the hug and walk to the table where Bobby sits Buck in a chair next to where he knew Booby would be sitting, Hen sat next to him and Maddie and Chimney sat opposite the rest of the team joined them as Bobby came back with plates full of food, Buck looked at the food and knew he missed this so much and grabbed food and started eating he listened to the team go through the calls of the night and nodded along as he ate and caught Maddie watching him and gave him a smile as he continued to eat, once he was done he tried get up.

"What are you doing?" Hen asked placing a hand on his arm.

"Going to do the dishes" Buck replies.

"Nah, its Chim's job you sit and relax." Hen says

"So is Maddie starving you?" Bobby asks with a smile.

"No, why?" Buck asks confused.

"Well, you just put away like four omelettes and your normally done after just two." Bobby says smiling.

"I think he prefers your cooking Bobby; I may need you to cook extras so I can collect." Maddie jokes.

"Her cooking is okay, but nothing like yours Bobby's and I missed your food and been-" Buck starts but stops.

"Its fine, kid we understand," Bobby says as he pats Bucks arm,

He watches as Chimney collects the dishes and Maddie helps make some coffee and wonders who she is texting as everyone is sitting with them, but he figures it could be Josh as she is due into work soon. They sit back down with their coffees and they start talking about the fire from the factory the other day and eventually it is time for Maddie to head to work.

"If you need me, call me okay?" Maddie says.

"I'll be with Bobby I'll be safe" Buck says

"I know, just try today and I'll be proud with whatever happens, okay?" She says

Buck nods and hugs her, he stands up and watches her leave and she does, he heads back in and sits in the locker room as he doesn't feel like the climb up the stairs he can hear Bobby talking to someone in the changing section and Buck just relaxes and looks at his phone and just stares at the lock screen and smiles.

"So, you ready?" Bobby asks.

"Yeah, it's going be a long day." Buck sighs

"But hopefully worth it." Bobby states, "Can you hang on? Here, I just need talk to the shift changeover and explain some things." Bobby says.

"Yeah that's fine." Buck says and looks at his phone it was now eight-fifteen. They really need go as the therapist was a good forty minutes' drive, as it got to eight-twenty Buck got up and headed out to find Bobby he saw him talking to someone so continued to Bobby's car hoping it would make him move, it eventually did and they got in to the truck and Buck looked at the time it way eight-twenty-five am he knew they be late as traffic at this time was always bad.

"Don't worry, I already explained we would be ten minutes late so don't worry." Bobby explains as they pull off.

"What, how?" Buck asks confused

"I messaged Maddie explained I was running late, and she replied stating she had contacted them and explained you be late." Bobby starts "Plus I know how you get, I know today was going be hard so wanted take the worry away, so sit back listen to music and we will get there." Bobby finishes.

"Thank you, Bobby." Buck replies.

The drive there was long, and they managed to miss the traffic, Buck listened to the music and it helped, keep him focused on his surroundings and nothing else. They finally arrived at the therapists building at nine-ten am Buck knew they were late but with Bobby explaining they knew he did not feel worry, he climbed out the car and headed in.

"I have an appointment, it was meant be nine am, but we ran late, I'm Evan Buckley." Buck explains

"It is ok, we were told just take a seat and your therapist will be out in a minute, you have a new one as the one you had previously seen is off sick and will be for a while your new one is called Alice." The receptionist explains

Buck nods and starts to move when the door opens.

"Mr Buckley?" Alice calls out.

"Yeah, that's me." Buck says turning around.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Alice." She says and shakes Bucks hand.

"Nice to meet you." He replies.

"I'm Bobby, his firehouse captain and friend." Bobby says.

"Oh, the person you wanted to sit with you is already in there we were just having a chat." Alice said, and Buck was confused.

"I didn't arrange anyone, I wanted do it on my own" Buck explained

"Well let's go in and if you don't want them there, we can ask them to leave okay?" She says

Buck nods and follows her in, he turns to Bobby who just shrugs. as he enters the room, he keeps his eyes down he did not want to look up.

"Buck, can you look up please?" Alice says.

Buck looks up and when he sees who is in front of him, his heart stops.

"Eddie." Buck mange's to get out.

"Yup, Maddie explained you didn't want anyone, but I guessed you won't mind me." Eddie says smiling.

Buck walks over to him and wraps his arms around Eddie and feels Eddie wrap his around him and he holds on tighter and let's go when Eddie lets a hiss.

"I'm still a bit tender, but I got discharged today, I wanted to be here for you." Eddie says as he points to his seat.

"Yes, Eddie explained some bits to me. This session is to help you Evan and we will go at any speed you want and discuss things you ready to talk about, no one here is to judge do you understand?" Alice says.

Buck has not paid any attention to her he is fixed upon Eddie, staring at him, who smiles and turns his head towards Alice to hint to answer.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, just in shock." Buck says smiling.

"I understand, Eddie is here to listen and offer support, he won't talk unless needed. It's not all on you, okay?" Alice ask

"Yeah, I understand." Buck replies.

"How are you feeling?" She asks.

"I feel great right now, but the last few days have been tough, I had an episode last night where I thought Aaron was here and it all felt real, his lips on my cheeks, his weight on my torso him pinning my arms down it all felt real." Buck starts and has stop as tears start to fall.

Alice hands him a tissue and Eddie grabs hold of his hand acting like an anchor.

"In this episode, what did Aaron say?" She asks.

"He was saying he would be always with me, before that I had a nightmare where I relived something from the docks." Buck starts and his hand squeezes Eddies hand.

"Ok, would you like to explain what it was?" she asks.

After five minutes of Buck been quiet, neither Alice or Eddie pushing Buck to answer they were letting him go at his own pace, Buck kept looking down at the hand that had hold of his and he eventually smiled and looked up at Alice.

"It was when he had an iron rod with his initials and he basically branded me like a cow." Buck says pointing to his leg to where the burn was "His words as he did it were I'll always be with you now and kissed my cheek." Buck says trying hold back the sob.

He feels his hand get a gentle squeeze and he glances at Eddie who is smiling at him.

"In the episode, did you do anything?" She asks.

Buck looked down, he knew the answer and she to obviously knew it too but he didn't want to admit it.

**_'_****_They will both think you are going crazy and need be locked up.'_**

As he starts thinking these things, he feels another squeeze and a thumb rubbing over his hand.

"It's okay, Buck." Eddie says seemingly knowing Buck is lost in his own thoughts.

"I-" Buck starts "I cut myself." He says and tears start to fall "I thought it was Aaron doing it and when Maddie snapped me out I was holding the shard that had cut me." Buck bent his head down and started sobbing he felt the embrace of Eddie straight away and he rubbed his back letting Bucks tear fall on his shirt.

"When people have these episodes, the mind plays a trick on you and you think it is someone or something else whilst you do this, if you feel like it's happening you need to talk to someone to distract you, as we progress in further sessions we will hopefully heal some of the trauma and it will become easier." Alice explains.

Buck just holds tighter to Eddie.

"I can see you feel safer when you're with Eddie, what is it that makes you feel safe around Eddie?" She asks.

Again a few minutes go by and then eventually he raises his head from Eddie's neck and wipes his tears away.

"He is always there, I know I messed up with the lawsuit but he has always had my back and these last few weeks when I was recovering before the whole docks thing Eddie was there through the breakdowns and meltdowns, he knows I care for him but he has said he will wait, I know he would never hurt me but will protect me." Buck rambles "Sorry, if it didn't make sense." he finishes.

"No, that's fine, let's go through some more things we have twenty minutes left." She says.

Over the next twenty minutes Alice spends the time going through what they will go through the next session and its agreed that Eddie will attend to help Buck, they head out and Bobby smiles as he sees Eddie wander out Buck linked to him.

"I should have guessed it be you." Bobby joked.

"Yeah, I couldn't let him do it alone, knowing he needed someone." Eddie smiled.

"Right, I'm under orders to take you to mine and feed you and relax." Bobby says

"Okay." Buck replies.

"You too, Eddie, I'll take you home later when Christopher is back from school for now, both of you are coming with me." Bobby says

"Oh, I was hoping get a rest and relax before I surprise him" Eddie says

Buck looks at Bobby and realises why he's saying to come to Bobby's with Buck.

"Eddie come with him, I'll come with you when you go home see Chris and we can have a movie night maybe?" Buck says sheepishly.

"You know what, yes that sounds just right." Eddie smiles.

"Right, let's head back to mine." Bobby says.

They all head to Bobby's car and climb in and head off to Bobby's. Buck sits in the back and listens to Eddie and Bobby chat away, he messages Maddie.

Buck: 'thanks for getting Eddie to come, it helped loads. We are going Bobby's and will be there till Christopher finishes then go surprise him and then having a movie night hope that's okay.'

After five minutes he got a reply.

Maddie: 'It's fine I knew he would help and that's fine. Just let me know when you want a lift home.'

For the rest of the journey he just listened to the two men in front chat away about anything, as they pull into the drive he sees Athena's car parked and smiles. They all climb out and Bobby heads in whilst Buck and Eddie slowly wander through taking their time.

"Hey boys." Athena greets them both with a hug each.

"Hi." Eddie says.

"Hey." Buck says.

"Well, come on settle down. I was doing some stew for dinner, so I hope your both hungry." Athena says.

"Yeah, I need wash out the taste of hospital food." Eddie chuckles.

Buck sits at one side of the sofa and expects Eddie to sit the other side and is taken by surprise when he sits next to him.

"If you want to nap rest your head on me and I'll be here if you have a bad dream okay?" Eddie whispers.

Buck looks at Eddie and smiles as he shifts so his head rests on his shoulder and he feels himself nod off, knowing for once he is perfectly safe.

He woke and he felt the warmness of Eddie straight away and when he lifted his head he saw Eddie who had his head lent back on the sofa and asleep himself, he smiled up and slowly moved to try get up without waking Eddie but this didn't work as the second Buck moved Eddie's eyes opened wide looking at Buck.

"Is everything ok?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, I was going get up and let you rest a bit more, sorry I woke you." Buc replies.

"Don't be its fine, I suppose we better eat." Eddie says

"Ah, your both awake" Athena says walking past.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep." Buck says

"Me too." Eddie adds

"It's fine, the good thing with a stew is it can stay in the pot, we thought it was best to let you both rest and you looked so peaceful." She replied.

"Thank you, how long were we out?" Eddie quizzes.

"About an hour, so don't worry. I'll get the bowls ready. Just come through when you're ready to eat and then Bobby will drop you off at Eddie's, Sophia left your Abuela's a while ago and Maddie will pick you up from Eddie's Buck, to give you some time with Christopher." Athena explains.

"Okay, thank you." Eddie says.

"Cool." Buck says smiling at her.

They slowly move, helping each other through to the dining table where they see the bowls of food and they smile, they sat down and started to eat, enjoying the food. Once they were finished, they start getting ready to head off and they all head to the car.

"You are coming too, Athena?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, we're calling into the shop on the way back." She explains.

They climb in and Buck relaxes into the back seat, his head on the window as he watches the world pass by and he feels something on his hand and he looks down and see's Eddies hand on his. He looks up at Eddie and smiles and they stay like that all the way. as they get close to Eddie's, Buck starts to smile more.

"Athena, do you have it?" Buck asks.

"I do indeed." Athena says and passes Buck the item.

"What is that?" Eddie questions curiously.

"Do you trust me?" Buck questions and watches as Eddie scrunches his face in a thoughtful expression until it cleared.

"Always." He replies seriously.

"Put this on, I have a surprise for you." Buck says.

"Do I have to?" Eddie questions, smiling.

"Boy, just do it." Athena says.

Eddie slides the blindfold on, and Buck starts laughing, as the car pulls up Buck climbs out and sees Christopher and Sophia along with Abuela. He waves over to them and walks round to the side where Eddie's door is and opens it. He takes hold of his hand and helps him out, once out, he hobbles along as Eddie slowly walks and when they are standing on the front lawn, he signals to Sophia who has her phone out.

"Okay, before you take off the blindfold you got to promise you won't get mad." Buck says.

"Buck, I can never be mad at you." Eddie says, then continued to question "Can I take it off yet?"

"Okay, you can." Buck says.

He watches as Eddie pulled off the blindfold and can see the second the shock hits him of his house covered in Christmas decorations, Eddie starts smiling and turns to Buck.

"You did this?" he asks.

"Well, I didn't, Christopher and I roped everyone in, we decided the house needed be extra Christmassy this year with everything that happened and I know you like simple but once we started, well we couldn't stop." Buck chuckles.

They slowly walk up, and Christopher hugs his Dad gently, they open the door and Eddie's jaw falls and everyone else stars giggling as Buck watches as Eddie slowly checks the whole house shaking his head as he finishes the tour.

"I can't believe how much there is, you're all helping take it down." Eddie says.

"Not till after Christmas though." Christopher says.

"Yeah, after Christmas." Eddie replies as he hugs him.

They spend twenty minutes talking. after that, Athena and Bobby leave and Buck is sitting on the sofa, Christopher next to him and Eddie sitting near them both, while Sophia was in the kitchen.

"So, the other day when I called and you were here, you were doing this; is that why you were in the garden?" Eddie asks, quickly putting the pieces together.

"I think we're busted Superman." Buck says and Christopher giggles.

"You didn't need do this though Buck, you had so much going on." Eddie says smiling at him.

"I know, but I wanted to do it plus when will I ever be able do this again?" Buck replies.

"Never." Eddie chuckles

"Right, Mister. Its bedtime say goodnight to your Dad and Buck." Sophia says as she walks into the living room.

"Do I have to?" Christopher pouts.

"Yes, now go. We have plenty more of time together." Eddie says.

"Ok, night Buck. Night Dad." Christopher says as he hugs both before heading off to his bed.

"I guess I better make a move and get Maddie to come get me." Buck explains.

"You could do that, or you could stay if you want to." Eddie says looking sheepish.

"Well, no offence the sofa isn't the best when I'm not recovering, and your sister is in the guest room." Buck replies.

"So, stay in my bed. I mean not for anything adulty, I can just be there if you have a bad dream again." Eddie says rubbing his neck.

"Nothing adulty, Eddie. It's fine, I get what you mean, and I would love to stay but no funny business." Buck jokes.

"Okay, plus it will help me." Eddie admits and goes red.

"What do you mean by that? Come on, I know you struggle to express yourself, but you can't leave it at that." Buck questions.

"It's silly really. I just have been having nightmares where I couldn't save you, so having you stay means if I have one so I know when I wake up from it and that you're here and safe, it will make me feel better…see it's silly." Eddie explains.

"No, it isn't, but maybe you need see someone too, and talk about it. But I will stay tonight. I would stay more but Maddie would not be happy." Buck chuckles.

"I know and thank you." Eddie says.

Buck gets his phone out and texts Maddie saying he was staying the night and would be back tomorrow and not to worry he was safe. After that, he slowly stood up grabbing his crutches and starts walking past Eddie and rubs his hand on his shoulder.

"Shall we, then?" Buck asks.

Eddie nods and follows Buck to his bedroom. Once they're in they change in the bathroom and climb into bed. Eddie lays down, facing the wall and jumps when he feels a hand on his side.

"I'm right here, Eddie," Buck says,

"I'm here for you too Buck and thank you." Eddie says.

Buck smiles and slowly drifts off knowing if he has a bad dream, Eddie would be there to help him and he knew he was there to help Eddie if he had one too.


	19. Chapter 19

Over the course of nearly two weeks, Buck had gotten all his stuff from his now former apartment. Well, he hadn't gone but Athena, Hen and Maddie had and emptied it, taking pictures of furniture if he wanted which he said no they can have it, all his stuff was boxed and put in Maddie's now full attic, bar the boxes of clothes. Buck had stayed at Maddie's and visited Eddie's but never stayed over they had both decided it was a good idea for Buck to stay with his sister, but Eddie would pop over to see him and keep him company. Buck attended his meetings accompanied by Eddie but the last two he had gone in on his own, but Eddie was right outside just in case. In these two sessions, Buck wanted discuss how he could move forward and hopefully build a relationship with Eddie which is why he kept Eddie outside explaining to Eddie he wanted try talk things through to prove to himself he could do it, his nightmares were less frequent and having the support of not just his sister and Eddie but everyone else was helping him through it all, his wounds were healing bar one hidden on the inside of his upper arm, he still had a boot on his ankle and his burn on his leg was still sore but it was healing good.

Buck was starting to move on and enjoy his life again he was even going into the firehouse not to work but to sit and be with his team mainly. So he had more than one person to talk to, on his bad days, Eddie would be there sitting with him talking to him and helping him through it, but on the days where he found himself on his own in his room alone with his thoughts his only way to stop the bad thoughts coming was pressing down on the cut he made on his arm, it helped him cope.

"Buck, are you up?" Maddie asks.

"Ugh, I am now. What's up?" Buck asks as he looks over at the clock to see that it was nine-fifteen am.

"It's Monday you know what that means." Maddie reminded.

It took Buck a while to realise what she was on about, with being rudely woken up. It hit him and he shot straight up and looked at his phone which should have gone off, but he must have forgot set his alarm.

"Oh, shit. I'm behind schedule, why didn't you wake me I was meant be up at eight am" He shouts.

"Well, I thought you wanted an extra hour I mean you're not going until later." She says as she enters his room with a mug of coffee, Buck was thankful he fell asleep with a shirt on.

"I know, but Eddie wanted to pop into town and get some last-minute things before we went out later, so I said I would look after Christopher." Buck explains as he grabs the cup off her.

"Well, that you were meant to but-" She starts saying,

"I knew you would have either forgotten to set your alarm or slept in." Eddie's voice came as he walked into his room.

"What are you doing here?" Buck says going red and Maddie smiles at him as she leaves

"Well when it got to eight-thirty and I hadn't heard from you, I rang Maddie. She said you were still out cold, so Christopher and I made a decision, that we would come here, and you can look after him here." Eddie says. "If that's okay?" He added.

"Of course, it makes sense considering I was late getting up. It just means I'll have distract him a lot better as Maddie and Chim offered to wrap all my presents." Buck says smiling.

"So, you're making them wrap their own presents?" Eddie chuckles.

"No, I've wrapped theirs and yours already, its mainly everyone else's." Buck says.

"Oh, so you wrapped mine already?" Eddie quizzes.

"Of course, you think I didn't see you peeking through the piles." Buck sticks his tongue out.

"Ah busted. Well I did wonder why the piece of paper had no presents next to it makes sense now." Eddie laughs.

"Bucky, where are you?" Chris can be heard shouting.

"Well, I guess that's the call to move." Eddie says holding his hand out to Buck.

"True." Buck says, taking his hand,

Eddie helps Buck to his feet and their eyes meet and they both smile. Buck wants to lean in and kiss him, but he does not know if he is ready or if Eddie won't see him as broken still, so he leans to the side and pulls Eddie into a hug.

"What's that for?" Eddie asks curiously.

"Just wanted to." Buck says smiling as he tucks his head in to Eddies shoulder.

"You know anytime you want a hug, I'm up for it." Eddie says and Buck feels Eddies hands rub his back.

"Thank you, now you better go, I'll be out in a second. Do tell Christopher I'm on my way." Buck says smiling.

"Okay, I'll see you later. I brought a change of clothes for him too, as I know you both will get messy and I don't think Santa will be happy if he is a state." Eddie chuckles.

"I promise he will be clean and ready when you come back round later." Buck says.

"You better clean up too." Eddie says.

"Yes, sir." Buck chuckles giving him a salute.

Eddie shakes his head as he leaves but turns to give Buck one last smile before he closes the door, Buck smiles and quickly throws on some sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt and hobbles out and down to the kitchen where Chris was sitting with pancakes.

"Where did they come from?" Buck questions.

"Dad stopped at the diner and picked them up on the way." Chris says

"He left a note for you." Maddie says handing it to him smiling.

Buck looks down at the note, his name on the front and smiles as he sees Eddie's scruffy writing he opens it up.

'Buck, I guessed you wouldn't have eaten breakfast so I got you some of these pancakes you love from the diner and your favourite coffee, can't wait to spend time with you and Christopher later. Eddie xx'

Buck could feel the smile was big and he didn't care that Maddie was giving him the _look_, he shook his head at her as he picked up the Styrofoam takeout box with his name on the side and instantly could smell that it was his favourite. He couldn't believe Eddie had remembered his favourite pancake place and more to the point went out of his way and had specifically got some for him, he sat at the table and started eating them as he listened to Christopher explain what he has been doing as school was closed for Christmas and how he been helping make cookies for the firehouse. Buck smiled and heard the door and Maddie wandered off.

As they finished up Maddie walked in with Chimney.

"Well, wasn't expecting you to both be here today." Chim said.

"Yeah, it's a change of plan, don't worry I have already set up a space for us to work, so eyes won't see." Maddie explains

"Yeah, sorry. Thanks for today both of you, I can do it if you want though it is my stuff after all." Buck explains

"No, we got a bet who is the better..." Chimney starts and looks over at Christopher make sure he isn't listening "wrapper." Chim winked

"Well, I suppose I can't get in the way of the bet as long as I get to judge." Buck winks.

"No chance of that. It'll wouldn't be fair considering Christopher is here he can judge." Chim says loud enough so Christopher hears.

"I'll be the judge, then." Chris says smiling.

"Well, that is sorted out." Chimney says smirking at both Buck and Maddie.

"So, what does the loser have to do?" Buck asks wondering if it would be an appropriate answer with Christopher would be been present.

"Loser has to cook the winner a meal of their choice." Maddie explains.

"So basically, pretend to cook by ordering takeout and place it on the plates and hide the actual cartons." Buck smiles

"You may have done that Buck, but no, the winner will watch." Chimney says smiling.

"Game on." Maddie says challengingly to Chimney.

Buck laughs as he watches them disappear into the living room, Buck turns and finishes his coffee and puts the rubbish in the bin, he goes into a cupboard and pulls some boxes out.

"So, Superman I have these ingredients and was going bring it to yours, but what you say we make some?" Buck says with a grin.

"Is that…" Chris looks behind him to check then leans closer and whispers "Slime?" Buck nods.

Christopher lets out a loud giggle and they both start laughing as Buck cleans the table top and places a plastic sheet on ready for the mess they were about to unleash, after about thirty minutes Maddie walks in to the kitchen and Buck looks up, he knows there is a mess he is covered yet Chris has managed to avoid getting any on him bar his hands the table is a mess of slime and glitter, he is going be finding the glitter for weeks to come.

"Oh no, Buck it's the Grinch." Christopher chuckles and Buck smirks.

"Don't worry if she comes too close, we will fling the slime at her to protect us," Buck says.

"Well, the Grinch came to get this bottle of wine and glasses, just clean up properly after, okay?" Maddie says with a rueful smile.

"We will." Christopher promises, as he smiles back.

"He really means I will do the actual clean up, but yes, we will." Buck smiles.

"Good, so now I've let you do slime, do you think you can do me a favour Christopher?" Maddie asks.

"Okay." He says looking at Buck who shrugs.

"Let me win the wrapping competition." She says smiling and Buck lets out a laugh.

"Deal." Chris says, and Maddie gives him a high five.

Buck shakes his head as his sister leaves and Buck and Christopher continue to play with the slime, eventually the novelty had worn off so Buck got some tubs and placed what slime he could in them and binned the rest, once the table and Christopher himself were clean he took Christopher in to the living room noticing the sheet to which sounds of wrapping and giggling could be heard, he placed Christopher on to the sofa and put the TV on.

"Find something good to watch, I'm just going get changed and showered quickly considering I ended up messier than you." Buck says ruffling Christopher's hair.

"Okay, please be quick." Chris says smiling.

Buck walks over to the sheet and peers behind it and see's Maddie and Chim wrapping and smiling.

"I have put Chris on the sofa I'm just going to shower quick can you keep an eye on him please?" Buck asks.

"Of course, Chim was going head out get some food from the sandwich shop, do you want something?" Maddie asks

"Yeah, get me a chicken and salad one and you have asked Chris what he wants but be prepared to be asked for the full menu before he decides. Thanks for the offer. Now I'm off for a shower now." Buck says as he turns and hobbles off quickly.

"Buck!" he hears Chimney shout in mock rage, but he continues to hobble into the direction of his room.

As he gets in his room, he grabs a change of clothes and heads in for a shower. After a quick shower, he is fully dressed in clean clothing and heading back in to the living room, he sees Maddie sitting with Chris as they search for a movie but there was no sign of Chimney, so Buck presumes he has gone to get the lunches.

"I guess Chim got a list of what Christopher wanted?" Buck laughs as he settles on the sofa next to Christopher.

"Yeah, this one decided on a chicken and mayo sandwich and a bag of chips to go with it." Maddie says.

"Ah, chips. I forgot about them." Buck says.

"Don't worry, Bucky. I told Chim what your favourites were and to get you some." Chris explains.

"Thanks Superman, what are we watching then? We have time for about two films, depending what they are then we have to get ready for your Dad." Buck explains.

"Finding Nemo and Dory." Chris says smiling and Buck grins and shakes his head to Maddie.

"Okay buddy, let's get it started." Maddie says.

Thirty minutes in and Chimney arrives back with the food they all eat the food and watch the film when they finish eating, Chimney and Maddie return to the wrapping challenge as Buck and Chris watched the films, as the closing credits of Dory rolled on the screen, Buck realises that Eddie would be on his way soon and they were not ready.

"Right, buddy it's time to get ready. Grab your bag that your Dad brought with your clothes and we will get changed so we both would be ready." Buck says.

"Okay." Christopher says.

"You got your Christmas wish for Santa all sorted?" Chimney asks coming round the corner

"Yeah, I'm hoping he gives me what I want." Christopher says.

"I am sure he will." Maddie says

Buck takes Christopher's hand and heads down to his room and lets Christopher go in to change.

"If you need help, just call me okay?" Buck says.

Christopher nods and goes in and after a while the door opens, and Chris is ready, dressed in the clean outfit.

"Okay, head to the living room and I'll get changed okay?" Buck says.

"Please be quick." Christopher says as he wanders down the hall.

Buck heads in and his phone goes off he looks at the message.

Eddie: 'On my way, you better be ready. The traffic is crazy today. xx'

Buck smiled at the message and quickly changed out of the clothes he was wearing and then decided to swap out the shirt. He sprayed on some aftershave and checked himself in the mirror and smiled he felt happy for the first time in a long time looking at his reflection. He grabs his wallet and phone and placed them in his pocket and hobbles down the hall to the living room.

"So, Christopher who is better?" Chimney asks, with a pile of presents wrapped in front of them.

"Hmmm…" Christopher considers as he looks at the presents and how they looked, he then made a decision "Maddie." Christopher says.

"In your face, Howie." Maddie says, pumping her fists 'Rocky' style.

Buck lets out a laugh and Christopher walks up to him and hugs him.

"It was rigged, I demand a recheck." Chimney says.

"I vote Maddie too." Buck says.

"I give up." Chim says, throwing his hands in the air.

"You two ready for a fun night out then?" Maddie asks.

"Yes." Chris says excitedly.

"Yeah." Buck says sheepishly.

"Howie, why don't you have Christopher a minute while Buck helps me in the kitchen." Maddie says.

Chim nods and takes Christopher and Maddie and Buck head into the kitchen.

"I know your nervous about going out in the public, but you will be fine. You will be with Eddie." Maddie says.

"Yeah, but I've only really gone to the firehouse or Eddie's or to Athena's. I've not really gone out in public itself, so I'm kind of nervous." Buck admits.

"It is fine to feel like that. If it gets too much just explain it to Eddie and he will sort it out for you, you know that or call me, and I'll come to get you." Maddie says as she rubs his arm.

There is a knock at the door and Buck knew it was Eddie. As the door opened Christopher went running to him, Buck, and Maddie head to greet him.

"Hey, you both look ready for a fun night. So, shall we go?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah." Chris said giggling.

"Yeah." Buck says.

Eddie leads them to the truck and gets Christopher in as Buck climbs in the passenger side, Eddie gets in the driver's side and they head off. It is quiet in the truck but eventually Eddie speaks up.

"You sure you are ready for this? I mean we can leave it." Eddie asks

"No, I'm ready plus I can' t let Chris down, just promise to be close by me just in case I break down or have an episode." Buck says and looks away.

"If you do, I'll be there to support you." Eddie says, and he rubs his hand over Buck's before continuing to drive.

As they arrive at the Christmas village, Buck can see all the people walking round and the shops that were really busy, he feels the panic build up but then a warm feeling on his leg breaks him out of it and he looks down to see Eddies hand.

"You ready?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, let us do this. What you say Superman?" Buck says.

"Yeah, let's see Santa and get hot chocolate." Chris says.

"Cheeky, but okay." Eddie says.

They all get out and slowly walk into the village. Buck watching everyone that goes past and keeping his head down, he feels a nudge in his shoulder and turns to see Eddie is right next to him and then a small hand grab his and looks sideways to see Christopher which makes Buck smile and they walk together and straight to the Santa line. As they stand and slowly move down the line Buck watches people passing and has turn away he can feel the tension in his chest getting heavier he turns to face the wall of Christmas displays and see's Eddie reach an arm over his shoulders and pull him close.

"It's okay, you are doing so well Buck. I'm proud of you, but if it is getting to much we can leave." Eddie says.

"Yeah, Bucky. I can miss seeing Santa if it helps you." Chris says tugging at Buck's sleeve.

"No, we can't let you miss seeing him, I tell you what though. Would you mind me holding you until we get to the front?" Buck asks and then looks at Eddie who smiles at him.

"Yeah, that's fine I can keep your eyes busy." Chris giggles.

Buck gently picks up Chris and holds him close and Eddie shifts so that Buck is closer to the wall and Eddie is closer to the public walking past. As they move forward, Eddie helps Buck who struggles because of his awkward boot but he did not care as he had Christopher in his arms, eventually they got to the front and it was Christopher's turn.

"Go wait at the fountain and I'll come to you after I have spoken to Santa." Christopher orders.

"You got it, buddy." Eddie says with a smile.

"Okay Superman, see you in a minute," Buck smiles,

Buck and Eddie slowly walk over to the fountain and sit down, and Buck feels Eddie shift next to him so he can feel his presence and Buck leans his head on to Eddies shoulder and jumps up,

**_'Shit, why did I do that; we are out in public. Oh god I have messed this up.'_**

"Buck, I don't mind. I mean if you want to do that, I am not against it." Eddie says, and Buck turns and meets Eddies eyes.

Buck just nods and leans back down and rest his head on to Eddie's shoulder again. He felt all the tension leave when he feels Eddie hand rub over his head. He closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling.

"All done, buddy?" Eddie says, and Buck opens his eyes and sits up straight as he sees Christopher in front of them.

"Yeah, he said he would try and bring me what I want, can we get hot chocolate and go home?" Christopher asks as he moves to sit on Bucks good leg.

"I thought you would want to stay and see some of the other Christmas things, Superman?" Buck asks.

"I do, but I know this is hard for you so we have done what I wanted, so I think we should go back home and watch a Christmas movie." Christopher says.

"That is what we will do, you two stay here and I'll get the hot chocolate and then we will head out. I just need call into the shop we first went past as we came in okay?" Eddie says.

"That's fine." Buck says smiling as he holds Christopher close.

Buck watches as Eddie walks to the stand that was selling hot chocolates and notices that Eddie always keeps looking over giving Buck a smile, he turns to Christopher who was watching the world go by, he loves the feeling of being in this little family and a promise of more - maybe, when he will be ready. He knows a part of him is ready, but there is a part he knows he's not right now and he doesn't want to go into any relationship where a part of him wasn't ready, which would drive Eddie away. He was so far in his thoughts he had not noticed that Eddie had come back and was in front of him, he looked up and smiled.

"You ok? You seemed deep in thought." Eddie asks as he passes Christopher his hot chocolate.

"Yeah, just thinking that how much I've enjoyed today - this, I know it's been hard, but it has definitely helped by being here with you two." Buck says smiling.

"Well, that's what we do best." Eddie says smiling "Come on, let's go" Eddie says.

"Shouldn't we have gotten your sister something? I feel guilty that we are going turn up with drinks and not got her one." Buck questions as they get up and start walking to the shop Eddie wanted to go in.

"Oh no, it is fine she went back to Texas the other day, I thought I mentioned it to you. She wanted us to go but I said I had stuff I wanted to do here this year." Eddie says smiling.

"Sorry, I must have missed it when you said that, so are you going Abuela's then?" Buck asks

"Nope, Christopher and I are spending it with Athena and Bobby. They offered and I couldn't say no to her. She gave me that look, you know the one where if you say anything but yes she will beat you." Eddie chuckles, remembering the Athena's look on her face.

"Yeah, I have had that look directed at me so many times, at least that means I can see you open your present." Buck explains

"Oh, right. I don't get open it at home like the monster pile someone else has." Eddie grins.

"Well, like I said I want be there when you open it okay?" Buck says.

"Well, how about you spend tomorrow night with us, I mean the spare room is free if you want to sleep in there or-" Eddie starts.

"I could sleep in your bed." Buck finishes.

"If you want to, then we can meet Maddie at Athena's. Maybe she could have Chim over while you're out." Eddie says smiling and Buck makes a puke gesture

"Can I too?" Chris pipes up, as he was listening to the whole conversation.

"Maybe. Anyway, let me pop into the shop here." Eddie ducks in the shop

Buck looks at the shop and sees that it mainly was filled with gift wrap and bags and other Christmas stationery, he laughs, and so does Christopher as Eddie come out and has a brown bag, but his hair has glitter in it.

"What are you both laughing at?" Eddie asks puzzled.

"Well, someone is very sparkly aint they Superman?" Buck says still laughing.

"Yup, Dad you have glitter in your hair." Christopher says chuckling.

"What, how ughh…" Eddie says as he rolls his eyes, as he shook his head, trying to dislodge the glitter and failing.

They walk off Buck and Chris still laughing at Eddie's hair and get in the truck and head off back to Eddie's. Once back in, Eddie heads straight in to his bedroom as Christopher and Buck settle on the sofa and trying to decide and pick out a movie, Buck looks round and see's that Eddie kept to his word and hasn't touched any of the decorations there all up. Eddie comes back and hands Buck a beer and sits next to them as they watch the chosen movie, Buck does not really pay much attention to it. He just enjoys the gentle warmth coming from Christopher who was falling asleep on his side and Eddies shoulder next to his.

"I think you should take him bed; he is pretty much out of it and I'll get Maddie to come and get me." Buck says.

"Or stay, I mean you don't have to, but if you want you can." Eddie says and Buck can see the flush in Eddies cheeks.

"Ermm… yeah, but I don't have anything to wear." Buck says.

"Well, it's a good thing I still have some spare clothes of in my drawers." Eddie says smiling,

"Okay, cool. Well, you take him, and I'll let Maddie know." Buck says

Eddie gently picks up Christopher and walks down the hall to take him to bed, Buck sends a message to Maddie explaining it was too late for her to come and get him, so he will stay here and that he was staying the night tomorrow so that she and Chimney could see in their first Christmas as a couple without Buck being in the way. Once the task was done, he gets up and heads down towards Eddie's room he can hear Eddie's voice coming from Christopher's room. From what he heard; Eddie was reading a book out loud to Chris. He continues to listen for a minute and slightly laughs as he hears Eddie trying do the different voices of the characters. He walks in to Eddies room and goes to the drawers and hunts up for the spare clothes Eddie mentioned. Sure enough, there was a couple changes of clothes that were Buck's in there. He blindly chose a random change of clothes and gingerly gets changed and heads back down to the living room, noting that Eddie was still reading out loud from Christopher's bedroom. As he gets to the sofa, he searches the movies, looking for a certain one - he has a movie he wanted to watch. It was a guilty pleasure, so he had it ready to play when Eddie came out.

"He is out for the count. Oh, you got changed great minds and all that, eh?" Eddie says.

Buck turns from the TV and sees that Eddie has changed too and is sitting next to Buck again.

"What are we watching then?" Eddie asks, nodding towards the TV.

"Nightmare Before Christmas." Buck replies with a smile.

"Okay, why?" Eddie asks curiously.

"I just love it." Buck says.

"That will do for me." Eddie says as he rubs Bucks shoulder.

They watch the movie and Buck laughs and turns to Eddie to see him smiling at the bits as the movie winds down they start to clean up and start walking into the kitchen.

"What's that?" Buck asks pointing to something in the ceiling.

"It looks like mistletoe; I didn't see that when you put everything up. It was most likely my sister; she was messing in some boxes before sh…" Eddie doesn't get to finish as Buck has leaned in and kissed him.

**_'What the fuck did I just do, I wasn't thinking omg he is going to hate me.'_**

"Sorry, I didn't mean I mean I wanted to but - oh my god, I'm sorry I'll go" Buck rambles.

"Don't be, it is what mistletoe is for, but I wouldn't have pushed you for it, unless you wanted to, but I'm glad you did and you haven't messed it up. I said I would wait, Buck that hasn't changed." Eddie says as he reaches his hand and cups Buck's cheek.

"Thank you, can I maybe kiss you again without feeling guilty." Buck asks knowing he is going red.

"Sure, but just a peck. I normally don't give kisses away unless I get a date you know." Eddie smirks teasingly.

"it didn't stop you before though." Buck responds.

"If I remember we were both hurt and I was pretty sure I was dying so I was delirious and out of it, so it doesn't count." Eddie says and Buck ducks his head he knows Eddie nearly dying was his fault "Don't. It was not your fault okay? Anyway, I'm waiting." Eddie continues.

Buck raises his head and smiles as he leans in and kisses Eddie on the lips it is a quick one, but it felt so right.

"I think I'll have to thank your sister the next time I see her." Buck says smiling.

"Me too but let us get to bed. It will be a long day tomorrow and now you're staying; Christopher will be over excited." Eddie smiles

"Okay and I wouldn't mind Christopher being overjoyed but I wouldn't miss it, whatever happens tomorrow." Buck replies.

They clean up the kitchen and head to Eddie's room, Buck gets in and faces the wall and starts to settle as a warmth pressed against his back.

"Is this okay? I mean if it is too much, I can move back." Eddie asks

"No, its fine." Buck says, smiling to himself.

"Night, Buck." Eddie says.

"Night, Eddie." Buck replies.

Buck nods off into a deep sleep, knowing that the man he feels the love for is slowly coming back from deep down is here holding him safe and sound.


	20. Chapter 20

Buck awakes to an empty bed, as he rolls over on to his back, he can hear sounds from inside the house. He was not alone. He slowly sits up and takes in the view of Eddie's bedroom which was still covered in Christmas decorations. He smiled to himself as he looked at his phone, it was nine AM and he had slept right through the night with no nightmares. He knew it was because he was with Eddie and he wished he could stay forever just so he did not have face a nightmare again. He noticed he had a text and looked at it.

_Maddie: 'Chim and I will pop round with all the presents later.'_

_Buck: 'Thank you, Eddie's hidden in my bedside drawer. He was looking through the presents the other day, so I hid it there.'_

He placed his phone down and slowly got out the bed and made his way out the door. Slowly walking down the hall, taking it easy on his ankle. As he got closer to the kitchen, the smell of food filled the air and through Buck. He wondered why the smell was pleasant and inviting where normally when Eddie cooked, it usually was a burning smell. When he was about a corner away, he heard a woman's voice. When he turned around the corner he was greeted by the sight of Chris who was sitting at the table his back to Buck. Eddie and Abuela was standing on the opposite side of Chris, which was the kitchen side of the room. Buck smiled at Eddie who walked over and handed him a cup of coffee and gestured to sit.

"Morning, Bucky." Chris says smiling as he takes a bite of the pile of pancakes in front of him.

"Morning, Superman. Are you excited?" Buck asked.

"I am, Santa is coming." Chris said with a chuckle, Buck looks over to Abuela who is smiling as he starts flipping more pancakes.

"You should have woken me, I would have helped cook breakfast." Buck says.

"Nonsense, you were asleep and if he had woken you up, he knows I would beat him." Abuela chuckles, raising her spatula in mock threat towards Eddie who pretends to duck away.

"And she would, Dad is scared of her." Christopher adds.

"That I am and so should you, kiddo." Eddie says as he puts a plate of pancakes down in front of Buck.

"Okay, I won't argue with that. Maddie is coming round later to drop some stuff off. Is that okay?" Buck says to Eddie with a wink and he nods back smiling, catching on Buck's meaning.

"Yeah, I'm sure he can show Abuela his new books in his room when she comes around." Eddie says. looking at Abuela and Buck chuckles as Abuela realises what they are on about.

"I would love to see what new books Christopher has now." She says smiling.

She finishes up plating the last of breakfast for her and Eddie and they join Buck and Christopher at the table. They sit, eating, talking about what plans they had for later. Abuela said she would go home and come back later with some food and Eddie's aunt Pepa and relax at Eddie's to save them from moving round too much. Once they were done eating, Christopher went to watch TV while Eddie started washing the dishes.

"So, what do you have planned for tomorrow Buck?" Abuela asks curiously.

"I am going to Athena's and Bobby's. Well, it was more ordered to turn up, and Maddie is going as well, and I think Chim will turn up too. What about you?" Buck asks.

"Well, I will be round here cooking for the family, so I will make sure there is leftovers." She says.

"Leftovers for what?" Buck asks confusedly.

"Well, you know how Edmundo can't cook and I doubt that there would be many takeout places will be open during the holidays. So I am making sure Christopher has something to eat." She says smiling and Buck sees Eddie mock glaring.

"Yeah, Edmundo. Everyone knows you rely on takeout's way too much." Buck chuckles.

"Well Evan, what can I say? I just never had the time learn, plus Abuela's food is divine." Eddie says smirking.

"That is a fair point. You will have to start making your food taste horrible and force him to learn." Buck joked, grinning.

"You two are a pain. Anyway, what time is your sister coming, Buck?" She asks.

"I'll give her a message, but I'm hoping it would be soon so we can get them hidden and ready to put out later." Buck says smiling.

"You all deserve a good Christmas, so make the most of it." She says as she gets up and heads into the living room.

"How are you feeling? I noticed you didn't have a nightmare last night." Eddie asks as he sits down.

"Yeah, I feel refreshed. It's actually the first night in a while that I slept all the way through, it must be you. I just wish it was every night, but I will get through it. I have people supporting me, that, I can see..." Buck says.

"You do. If it gets too much, you better tell someone." Eddie says.

"I will I promise. Oh, I better text Maddie and see what time she will come." Buck says as he gets his phone out his pocket.

"Okay, do you want another coffee?" Eddie asks.

Buck nods without looking up from his phone as he sends a text.

_Buck: 'What time are you coming, Abulea has agreed to distract Christopher when we get the presents in.'_

_Maddie: 'We'll leave in 30 minutes. Is that okay?'_

_Buck: 'Yeah that's fine.'_

"She's leaving in 30 minutes, so we got time to make sure Christopher is locked in his room." Buck says.

"Good. Poor Abuela won't be leaving the room for a long time once she gets in there." Eddie chuckles.

"True. Are we just putting them all in your room till later, or shall we put them in the guest room?" Buck asks.

"My room. That way we can sort them out, as I will let him open a few with us in the morning and the rest when the rest of the family arrive." Eddie explains.

"That's fine. I am going to get some clothes on. I don't to want look like a slob, Maddie will beat me up." Buck chuckles and heads down the hall.

As he gets back in Eddie's room, he picks up his clothes and heads into the bathroom, he freshens up. Luckily, he kept a supply of his toiletries at Eddie's and once he is done, he changes in to the clean set of clothes and heads back to the kitchen where Eddie is standing. He hands him a fresh cup as he wanders past Buck and down the hall.

Buck stands there, taking in how easy everything is now, after everything he has gone through, he can finally feel happy about where his life is going.

**_'I'm always here, no one will love you like I do, they only care as you're injured.'_**

Buck freezes in place as he places the cup down and quietly falls to the floor, head in his hands as he cries. He knows it is just in his head but at the same time, it was true. No one else cared for him and always left him. He sat there, tears falling down his cheeks onto the kitchen floor. His vision suddenly growing dark as the memories come rushing back.

**_'They're just helping out because they pity you. You are nothing to them afterwards. Just an inconvenience to their time.'_**

The voice kept on growing louder and louder. He kept quiet, hoping not to alert Christopher or Abuela to his state. The last thing he wants is more pity.

"Buck?" Eddies voice cuts through the thoughts in Bucks head "It's okay I'm here." Eddie says, and Buck feels a presence wrap round his back and gently tug at him to lean forward.

As Buck glances up, he sees that Eddie is positioned on the floor, his legs spread out across the floor and his other arm grasping at Buck to come in for a hug. Buck's vision gradually lighting up, Buck spots the opening in Eddie's neck and buries his head straight into it, wrapping his arms round Eddie. He feels Eddie pull him in tighter, Buck could tell that he was positioned funny as his legs hurt, but he did not care he just wanted stay where he was.

"I'm sorry." Buck sobs out barely containing it.

"What do you have to be sorry for? You have done nothing wrong." Eddie says firmly.

"It's just my thoughts messing with me again and making me think…" Buck starts but does not want to finish he will sound silly.

"Go on, tell me." Eddie says realising that Buck was hesitant, and he feels relaxed as Eddie runs his hand through Bucks hair.

"It's a silly thing, don't worry about it okay." Buck says enjoying the feeling of the hug. He didn't want to trouble Eddie any more than he already had.

"Buck, you know what the therapist said, you have to speak up. I promise nothing you say will be silly. I'm here to listen, always and never to judge." Eddie says.

Buck knew he would not be able to hold off opening up to Eddie. He sighed and sat up, he wanted to look at Eddie as he explained. It was mainly to see if he would look at him like a stupid idiot or if he was really listening, so he wiped his tears away and looked in to Eddies big brown eyes.

"It's just my thoughts keep re-playing stuff you know… _He_ said to me." Buck says looking at Eddie who hadn't changed his expression, just kept looking at Buck, so he continued "It was stuff like saying he will always be with me," And Buck points to the bandage where the burn is," and that no one will love me like he did and that everyone only cares because I'm injured… And that I'm just a pathetic loser." Buck says knowing he has tears forming again as one falls. Each word he had just said stung him deeply, with each description flashbacks happen in his mind.

He feel's Eddie gently running his thumb across Buck's cheek, taking the tears and fears away.

"Buck, you are loved by so many. Everyone does care, they would not have done everything they have done if they did not. And this…" Eddie places his hand gently over the bandage and continues, "Means nothing and in time it will heal, and we can look at options to help you through deciding what to do." Eddie says as he lifts his hand to cup Buck's cheek "But I promise you, I will never leave you again, you're stuck with me." Eddie says.

That is all it takes and Buck breaks again. He falls into Eddie's arms crying and Eddie holds him and rubs his hand up and down Buck's back. As they sit there, he hears a knock at the door and he moves and pulls Eddie close, he does not want to move, he just wants to stay.

"Can someone get the door please?" Eddie shouts as his hold gets tighter round Buck.

Buck, with his head into Eddie's chest can hear footsteps and feels Eddie nod gently and the footsteps disappear and then the door been opened, and the sound of Maddie's voice could be heard.

"If you want, we can go to my room and get out the way for a bit." Eddie says still rubbing Buck's back.

"No, I'm fine. Just give me a minute." Buck says his voice sounded tired.

"Ok, we are fine to stay here." Eddie says.

As they continue to sit there, he hears people moving round and then the sound of crutches walking past.

"Is Bucky okay, Dad?" Christopher asks.

"Yeah, he is just a bit sad, you go to your room and show Abuela your new books." Eddie says his hand constantly rubbing Buck's back.

"Okay." Chris says and Buck listens as they head down the hall once the door is closed, he hears the rustle of bags.

"Where would you like us put these?" Maddie's voice could be heard; he could tell it was a worried tone without seeing her.

"Just drop them in my room and we will sort them out later." Eddie says.

"Always finding a way out of helping, eh?" Chimney said with a chuckle, but the sound of a slap came through the air and Eddie chuckled.

"What was that for?" Chimney asks in a mock injured tone.

"You know what for, Howie. Now, come on." Maddie said sounding annoyed.

He hears them wander down the hall, the bags making more noise than they should be making. He feels Eddie starting to move, so he looks up.

"Hey, what do you say to us getting off the floor and actually helping a tiny bit?" Eddie says smiling.

"Okay, and I'm-" Buck starts but Eddie places a finger on Buck's lips cutting him off.

"There is no need to be sorry for how you are feeling, now our contribution to helping is making hot chocolate and what do you say we put some chilli in Chim's as a prank?" Eddie says with a cheeky grin.

"Yes." Buck said smiling.

They slowly got off the floor and Buck rubbed his leg as it was stiff, and Eddie helped him up the rest of the way up and they moved over to the stove. Eddie moved round getting what was needed as Buck stood there at the stove emptying the ingredients in to the saucepan and started stirring. Eddie got six mugs out and some marshmallows, as Buck stirred the mixture in the saucepan, he heard sounds behind him. He turned his neck and saw Maddie and Chimney standing there.

"Hey." Buck said before quickly turning back to keep stirring. He couldn't look at his sister for some reason.

"Hey, they're all in the room." Maddie explains.

"Thank you for bringing them over." Eddie says.

"Our pleasure, and thanks for having Buck tonight." Maddie says

"Well, I think Chris is happier than anyone." Eddie chuckles as he places some marshmallows in each cup.

"At least I don't have to sit there watching you two swoon over each other all night." Buck chuckles still looking at the saucepan making sure the chocolaty mixture was not burning.

"It's okay, we made a deal to do it here just so you get a daily dose." Chimney chuckles.

"Sorry, no swooning in this house." Eddie says as he takes the pan from Buck.

Buck watches as Eddie pours the mixture in to each cup.

"Oh yeah, forgot it was only… Ow, what was that for?" Chimney said and Buck looks over where Maddie is grinning.

"You okay, Chim?" Buck asks.

"Yeah, you Buckley's are all the same, no sense of fun." Chimney says pouting.

"We know how to have fun, don't we Maddie?" Buck says smiling.

"That we do." She replies.

"Go and sit down, I'll bring them to you." Eddie says.

Buck watches as Maddie and Chimney disappear into the living room and hears the door to Christopher's room open.

"Buck, Abuela likes the book you got me about space." Christopher says

"That's good." He says kneeling down.

"Are you feeling better now?" Christopher asks.

"I am, thank you, why don't you go sit with Maddie and Chim, your Dad made hot chocolate." Buck says smiling.

Christopher nods and hugs Buck and wanders into the same room where Maddie and Chimney were in, Abuela pats him on the shoulder before she follows Christopher. Buck walks back to where Eddie was and sees the chilli pot on the side of one mug and Eddie smiling evilly as he stirs the chosen mug that was meant for Chimney.

"You are so naughty." Buck says teasingly, bumping Eddie shoulder.

"Hang on, you agreed to it as well." Eddie says.

"I did, but put extra in, let's not forget its Christmas the time for giving and been generous" Buck smirks

"Now who's naughty?" Eddie chuckles as he adds more.

Once the mugs were all done, they headed into the living room making sure Chimney got the right cup and Buck watched as Eddie went to sit on the floor and he signalled for Buck to sit next to him. Everyone else had taken up the sofas and they started watching a movie on TV.

"I can ask them to move if you're not comfortable on the floor." Eddie whispers to Buck.

"I'm okay, if I need something soft to lean on, I got you. Plus, we have a perfect view of Chim." Buck quietly chuckled.

"Very true, why is he taking so long to try it?" Eddie asks curiously.

Buck watched as time went passed and Chimney just kept blowing on the drink but never drinking any, finally after what felt like ages he took a drink and then another and his face started to scrunch up and he looked straight over at Buck and Eddie who both burst out laughing.

"What's funny?" Chris asked

"Howie, are you okay?" Maddie asks as Chimney starts coughing.

"Yeah. Real funny boys." Chimney says as he put the drink down.

"Well, if you can't stand the heat, Chim…" Buck says, and more laughter comes from them.

"What did you do?" Maddie asks curiously while patting Chim's back.

"Well, in my defence I did nothing, but there may be a slight spicy factor to Chim's hot chocolate, I personally heard chilli and Chocolate was nice." Buck laughs trying hard not to spill his own cup.

"The pair of you are like mischievous monkeys." Abuela says shaking her head but she looked dubiously on her own cup.

"Can't help if the chilli jumps in the mug, can we?" Eddie says trying keep a straight face.

"Children, the both of you." Maddie says, "Well, I will take that as our cue to leave." She says.

Chim and Maddie get up and Buck does too and follows them to the kitchen when he gets there he sees Maddie rummaging in her bag.

"Here," She whispers and passes Buck a box wrapped in Christmas paper. He recognised it as Eddie's Christmas present.

"Thank you." He says smiling.

"If you need anything, give me a call okay?" She says as she gives him a hug.

"Or don't but have a good time and we will see you tomorrow." Chim says still red from the chili.

They head out and Buck waves them off and as he turns and heads down the hall he was going hide the present in the guest room. As he approached it, Eddie comes out the room.

"Where are you going?" Eddie asks and Buck hides the present behind him.

"Just want to put something in there." Buck says.

"Well, you can't go in there sorry. Out of bounds." Eddie says while crossing his arms.

"Since when is the guest room out of bounds?" Buck questions raising his eyebrows.

"Since I said so. Whatever it is, you will have to put it somewhere else." Eddie says smirking.

"Ughh. Christopher, you got a second?" Buck shouts.

"He won't tell you anything." Eddie smiles.

"Yeah, Buck. What is up Bucky?" Christopher asks.

"What's going on in there?" Buck asks.

Christopher looks between Eddie and Buck and then Christopher shrugs his shoulders earning a laugh from Eddie.

"Fine, can I put something in your room, Christopher?" Buck asks.

"Okay." Christopher say's and leads the way, Buck turns and sticks his tongue out at Eddie.

"What did you want to hide?" Christopher asks as Buck closes the door.

"It's a special present for your Dad and you know how he gets." Buck says.

"True, hide it in there." Chris says pointing to his toy chest.

Buck opens it and places the box inside and closes it and moves some of the toys round so he would know if Eddie had been in. They leave the room laughing. Eddie is sitting with Abuela and watching the TV, so they join them and watch movies. Eventually Abuela leaves and the three of the cuddle on the sofa, watching movies and they order pizza in as it was Christmas Eve and Eddie had said, no one cooks Christmas Eve. They chowed down on the pizza and Eddie said he needed the loo and disappeared. Buck quietly creeped into Christopher's room and sat on the bed and waited and sure enough the door opened.

"Busted." Buck says laughing.

"I just… erm wanted to get…" Eddie started.

"Get what? He has everything he needs, go on, back to the living room you go." Buck says pushing Eddie out the room.

They sit and watch more movies eventually it's time for Chris to head to bed. Eddie carries him, and Buck follows. Buck offers to read the story, mainly so Eddie can't be nosy and that he could carry all the presents out as Buck reads, as he reads he can hear Eddie walking back and to some huffs are also heard and Buck laughs to himself. Eventually after twenty minutes of reading Christopher is out cold. Buck heads back into the living room where Eddie has paused a movie, but he cannot see which one it is, as it was a black screen at the moment. He does notice all the gifts that are sitting on the side and chuckles. It looked like a mountain.

"I think he may have been spoiled this year." Eddie says as he noticed Buck's look as he passes a cup of coffee to him who takes a seat.

"Yeah, just a tiny bit. But he deserves it." Buck says.

"He does. So, where is mine?" Eddie asks and jokingly glared at Buck.

"Well, its hidden and you will get it tomorrow night okay?" Buck explains raising his arms is if to stop him.

"Tomorrow night? That is a bit harsh, but does that mean you're coming back after Athena's and Bobby's?" Eddie asks

"I'll get Maddie stop by, so will be a flying visit but it will have to do." Buck says.

"That's fine. I can give you your present at the same time." Eddie explains

"Guessing I'm on the couch, considering the guest room out of bounds." Buck chuckled.

"No, you can sleep with me again." Eddie says and Buck looked at him, "If you're ok with that" Eddie says quickly.

"I am, but maybe not all the time. I don't want confuse Chris and I want to make sure that I'm - you know." Buck starts.

"I do and I told you I would wait, but come here and watch the movie and we will head then bed after it finishes." Eddie says.

Buck nuzzles closer to Eddie as he starts the movie and Buck smiles when he sees what comes on.

"How did you know I liked Lilo and Stitch?" Buck asks.

"Well, I saw the robe at Maddie's, and I asked her, and she explained how much you love Stitch." Eddie says smiling

"Thank you." Buck says, smiling back.

They sit there watching the movie and once it finished, they turned the TV off and head to Eddie's room and slowly drift off to sleep.

As morning arrives, Buck and Eddie are awoken by a hyperactive and overexcited Christopher.

"Daaad! Buucck! Wake up! It's Christmas!"

"We'll get up in a bit. Let us have another hour's sleep" Eddie still groggy.

"I can't! I'm so excited!" Christopher says shaking the bed.

"Superman hop in have a snooze with us and then we will get up. Promise." Buck says

"Ugh okay. Are you and Daddy boyfriends?" Christopher quizzes.

This made Eddie's grogginess vanish as panic takes over.

"What? No, why would you say that?" Eddie asks and Buck notices Christopher's sad look.

"It's just… he stays in your bed like couples do." Chris says, pointing it out.

"No, buddy. It is like not like that. You know when you have nightmares?" Buck says.

"Yeah?" Chris replies.

"Your Dad brings you to his bed to sleep and you sleep better right?" Buck says.

"Yeah, I would sleep better because I know Daddy is there." Chris says, and he smiles at Buck as he understands. "Does he help your nightmares go away too?" He asks.

"Yeah, that is why I stay here with him, your Dad is the nightmare's worse enemy. He makes them go away." Buck says as Chris hugs him and Eddie mouths _thank you_.

Christopher settles down and they do get another hour's sleep. Eventually they get up and while Buck makes pancakes, Christopher explains which ones he is going to open first right after they eat. Once they finish, Christopher makes a beeline for the Christmas tree. Buck laughs as Christopher attacks the first present, thanking him for what Santa had got him and Buck loved every second. Eventually, it was time to go. He had gotten changed and was now in the car on the way to the Grant-Nash house. As they entered, they were greeted by smiley faces and it was a feast, with so much food and drink. They had really gone all out, Buck avoided the wine and just enjoyed all the chocolate he could eat. The sight of his adopted family playing games and taking in what he could have missed out on, as the night winded down it was time to head back home dropping by at Eddie's.

The car journey felt like it was taking ages. He was worried Eddie might not like the present he had gotten him, or it would ruin everything that he had built up recently.

"Buck are you ok? You look distant." Maddie asks gently.

"Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind." He says smiling at her.

"It will be all okay, trust me." She says smiling.

As the car pulled up outside Eddie's the nerves hit him. He slowly walked to the door and before he could knock on the door, Abuela opened the door.

"There you are! I hope you have room for more food." She says and waves her hand towards Chimney and Maddie.

"You're all staying a while, it's Christmas." She jokes as she guides Buck to the kitchen where Eddie was with Christopher.

"Buck, you came back." Christopher say's and makes his way to him.

"Of course, I did." He says kneeling down to hug him.

"It's been so fun, and I've got so much stuff, don't worry I kept Dad out my room. I told Abuela if she sees him go near my room to smack him." Christopher chuckles.

"Yes, and he has had a fair few smack." Abuela laughs.

Buck stands up and looks at Eddie who pulls him in for a hug and Buck sinks into it.

"Put him down!" Chimney shouts.

"Maddie, come meet some of the family you too Chimney and Christopher." Abuela says.

Buck turns as everyone disappears and it's just him and Eddie, he turns back to Eddie who is smiling.

"So, do I get the present now." Eddie asks.

"I suppose." Buck says, and they head to Christopher's room.

As they enter the room Eddie closes the door and takes a seat as Buck digs through the chest to get the box and then sits down looking at Eddie.

"If you don't like it, I can sort something different out…." Buck explains but he was cut off by Eddie.

"Shh! I'm sure it will be perfect." Eddie says smiling at him.

Buck hands over the box and watches as Eddie studies it closely and then slowly opens the wrapping paper, so it was just the box lying in the paper. He slowly opens it and Buck watches as Eddie stares at what is inside, and then Eddie looks up and he has tears in his eyes and Buck is concerned. Were they happy or sad tears?

"It's beautiful Buck. You didn't have to." Eddie says.

"I did because your last watch got damaged from when you saved me. So I got a new one to replace it. It's the upgraded model to the one you had before." Buck says and he sees Eddie take it out the box and study it and then Eddie pulls his face in surprise as his finger runs along the back.

"Did you get it engraved?" Eddie asks and Buck nods.

_"I will always have your back, love Evan."_ Eddie reads aloud.

"If it's too much I can get it the engraving changed…" Buck says not knowing if he crossed the line when Buck feels himself been pulled into a hug.

"It's perfect. Thank you, Evan. I love it." Eddie says and Buck hugs tighter.

They spend a while holding each other and then Eddie breaks the hug and his hand disappears under Christopher's pillow and pulls out a bag, and hands it to Buck as he places his new watch on.

"This one is for you, go on." Eddie says smiling.

Buck slowly digs in the bag moving the tissue paper and pulling out a small box he looks at Eddie confused. He slowly opens it up and there is a key and Buck is totally confused he already had a key to Eddie's.

"Follow me." Eddie says holding his hand out as he got up.

Buck held his hand out and let Eddie lead him they end up at the guest room and Buck noticed that there was a lock on it which was never there before, and Eddie turns to him.

"Use the key." Eddie explains.

Buck slowly inserted the key into the lock and opened the door as it opens he is greeted to a room that was defiantly not the same. He looked round and he saw things that were his and the room was set up as he walked in he saw a piece of paper on the bed and he picks it up.

_"Evan, I could give you all the different gifts in the world I could think of, but in the end I settled on this. This room is yours and your own space, I know you lost your place and I know you worry you will be alone but now you will not. You will always have me and Christopher around, so I'm asking you to move in I just hope you say yes."_

Buck turned round and he could feel the tears falling and he pulled Eddie into a hug and held him tight.

"Yes." Buck says with emotion.

"Good. I don't know what I would have done if you said no." Eddie chuckled.

"It's brilliant. I get to be close to Christopher, and you and I won't be alone." Buck smiles.

"Plus, if you have a nightmare, I'm close by." Eddie says.

"Thank you, but how did you pull this off?" Buck asks curiously.

"Maddie helped and Athena as well, when I said I wanted to offer you the room, they both agreed it would be the best thing for you and your recovery." Eddie explains and Buck hugs him tighter.

After a while, they break the hug and head out. He hugs Maddie when he sees her.

"Guess that means you like it?" Maddie chuckles as she holds her brother close.

"Yeah, it is going help so much." He says.

"Well, you are always welcome back at mine, okay?" Maddie says.

"I know and thank you." Buck says.

They spend the next few hours enjoying the last bit of Christmas, laughing, and joking and once everyone was gone and Christopher was in bed. Buck settled down on his new bed and looked at the door as Eddie stood there.

"Night, Buck." Eddie says.

"Night, Eddie." Buck says, and Eddie disappears from the doorway.

Buck settles down. Everything was falling into place and he couldn't wait till the New Year. He had one more surprise for Eddie.


	21. Chapter 21

Buck wakes up on boxing day the next morning refreshed. Everything felt right, the pain of the last few months was now slowly fading and he could look onwards without worries. He knew the trial would be soon and that Chase was due to go to his plea hearing in the next few days but, Athena had explained to Buck that he didn't have to attend because they had the evidence they needed and his video statement would be shown. Still, Buck sat up and looked around everything he had thought he couldn't have plus, he has the one thing he wanted the most. The one asleep down the hall in his bed, probably still sleeping.

Buck knew he had a date waiting with Eddie, but Eddie had made it clear he would wait till Buck was ready. Buck also did not want to rush anything, he was enjoying everything as it was, but with new year's so close Buck thought back to the other gift he promised himself he would surprise Eddie with but now he was unsure. He got his phone out and sent a quick text.

_Buck: 'Hey sis, I need talk are you free? I know its boxing day and you might have plans so it can wait if you do.'_

Buck placed the phone down and got up. He grabbed a change of clothes from the draws and had another look at the room. He still couldn't believe Eddie had done this for him, he took his key and as he left the room he locked it then went for a shower. As he showered he felt the stress flow away along with the water rinsing him down. Once he was clean, dried, and changed - he headed back to his room. He normally would panic out of fear but he knew it was locked and no one could get in. Another thing he had to thank Eddie for, the room itself would have been fine, but Eddie had gone out the way to put a lock on so he knew he would be safe and it made Buck smile at how thoughtful Eddie was. He unlocked the door walked in, placed his dirty clothes down grabbed his phone, and left locking the door and heading to the kitchen. He wanted to surprise Eddie and Chris with pancakes.

He quietly gets the pan and bowls out as he places them down on the table and he rummages through the cupboards for the ingredients he knew they would still be there because Eddie rarely cooked. Once everything was on the table he set the coffee machine and made himself a quick coffee and took a sip before placing an apron on. As he picks up a bowl and measuring cup his phone goes off, he places down the bowl and looks at the message.

_Maddie: 'I'm free this afternoon I will pop round and we can nip to the shops if you want to talk in private.'_

_Buck: 'Yeah, that be good don't want anyone here to hear what I say, see you later.'_

_Maddie: 'I'll be there around 1 pm.'_

Buck places his phone on the side and starts making the batter mix ready to make pancakes. Once ready he finishes his coffee and looks at the time, it's half past 8 and he smiles. Buck knew that normally both him and Eddie would be at work right about now. But due to their injuries, they were both on a day off. So he decided to give them both another half hour to let them sleep. He places plates on the table with glasses of orange juice and syrup, as it gets to 9 am he makes a quick stack of pancakes and puts them on the table and turns off the cooker. He walks down the hall and enters Chris' room.

"Morning superman," Buck says.

"Hey Bucky," Chris says as he yawns.

"Breakfast is on the table, its pancakes," Buck says smiling.

"Yay! Did you make loads?" Chris asks as he slowly starts sitting upright.

"Of course. Now, you get up and head to the table and start while I take on the challenge of moving your dad out his pit." Buck chuckles and he ruffles Chis' touseled hair.

"Good luck Bucky, you're gonna need it." Chris smiles.

"Thanks, if I need help I'll call for you ok?" Buck smiles back.

"Deal." Chris smiles.

Buck leaves Chris' room and wanders down to Eddie's, the door is slightly ajar and the soft sound of soft snores can be heard. Buck smiles and shakes his head as knocks gently on the door.

"Eddie, time wake up," Buck says softly but no answer.

Buck lets a sigh out and knocks a bit louder but still nothing. So he bites the bullet and enters the room. It's dark but thankfully the light from the hall helps Buck see where he is going. As he gets close to Eddie he stands next to him and runs his hand over Eddies' exposed arm.

"Moring sleepy, are you going to get up?" Buck says.

"Five more minutes babe," Eddie says, and Buck tries to hold back a smile.

"Ok, five minutes. But I'll stay here with you." Buck says softly.

There is a shift and Eddie lifts the covers upwards and Buck looks at him funny, but Eddie has not opened his eyes.

"Get in then, I can cuddle you for five minutes if that's ok?" Eddie says with a smile.

Buck sighs and as much as he knows he should not do it, he could not resist. So he climbs in and once in, he feels Eddie's chest firmly pressed against his back and been enveloped in an Eddie hug.

"So, you were awake when I came in." Buck asks.

"Yeah, sorry if saying babe was to forward my mind was still asleep." Eddie says.

"It's fine, now only five minutes because Chris is eating at the table and he will eat all the pancakes if we fall asleep." Buck explains letting the heat sink in on him.

"Ok," Eddie says as he nuzzles into Buck's back.

Buck laid there and he could not believe how safe and warm he felt when he was being held by Eddie. He could not wait for this to be a permanent thing and hopefully, it could be over the next few months. The plans he wanted to do start swirling round in his head, he needed to talk to his sister.

"Bucky?" Chris' voice wakes Buck up.

"Hey, Superman, what's up?" Buck questions he feels Eddie still holding him close.

"I came looking for you because you were taking so long, and the pancakes have gone cold. Did dad trick you into bed like he does to me so he can sleep longer?" Chris says smiling.

"I guess he did," Buck said and looks behind him and sees Eddie's hair while he still feels' his arms around him, "Well I'm up and this time your dad is coming, good thing I made extra mix isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Chris says.

"Now, looks like your dad doesn't want to move so what do you say we play something I know will get him up?" Buck grins at Chris.

"Ok." Chris says.

"Go get my phone from the kitchen side," Buck says.

Chris wanders off and Buck sits up and looks at Eddie who rolls over on to his other side.

"Now, Diaz, you either get up or I will be forced to annoy you," Buck says trying to break free from Eddies' arms.

"You can never annoy me." Eddie softly says as he tries to hold on to Buck.

Buck holds his smile down and looks at Chris as he enters, he looks at his phone its nearly 10 am. Buck, shakes his head as Eddie was able to con him into nearly another hour's sleep. He loads up YouTube and finds the song and shows it Chris who smiles and nods.

"Eddie, last chance," Buck says smiling at Chris.

After a minute and no moving Buck smiles as he presses play and the song starts.

_'Baby Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo Baby Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo  
Baby Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo Baby Shark Mummy Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo  
Mummy Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo Mummy Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo  
Mummy Shark Daddy Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo Daddy Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo  
Daddy Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo Daddy Shark Grandma Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo  
Grandma Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo Grandma Shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo'_

Chris bursts into laughter and Eddie sits up with a grunt and looks at Buck and Buck just smiles at him. Still, even after being mocked into waking up Eddie lets a smile slip.

"So, are you getting out, or do I have to play it again?" Buck says sticking his tongue out.

"Hey, I didn't see you complaining when you climbed in." Eddie replies rubbing his eyes.

"Can we play it again?" Chris says smiling.

"No! I'm up let's eat," Eddie says as he clambers out the bed.

Buck turns to Chris and holds his hand up and they high five.

Buck gets up and follows Chris to the kitchen and Buck starts making more pancakes with the leftover mix. He turns the coffee machine on again so Eddie can get a coffee when he wanders through. Eventually, Eddie appears looking a bit fresh and smiles at Buck and kisses Chris on top of his head and grabs a coffee.

"So, what you got planned today?" Eddie asks.

"I'm going out with Maddie at around 1 if that's ok," Buck asks and notices the funny look Eddie gives him. Buck's mind suddenly attacks him.

**_'Shit I should have asked before doing it, I'm such a fool'_**

"Buck you don't need to ask you can do what you want, what time will you be back, and I'll heat up some left-over Christmas dinner," Eddie says smiling.

Buck was taken back. He was expecting to be met with anger, he knew it's something he should work on that not everyone would have a go at him. He simply nods at Eddie and continues to make pancakes, as he tries to let his panic rescind.

By the time he has finished the first lot, Chris is all done eating and was in the front room watching cartoons. Buck moves the empty plate to the sink and piles Eddie's plate up and some for him then takes a seat opposite him as they eat and drink. Not much was said but looks were shared and Buck enjoys being able to do it without any awkward talks. The glances, the smiles when they were caught staring, and the laugh that comes after it. He knew that they need to 'talk' eventually, but they can wait. He just wants to enjoy this moment between them.

"You off to anywhere nice?" Eddie breaks the silence.

"Just the shops. I think she wants to get some sales and I think she just wants to try and get me out in crowds a bit more." Buck says looking down he felt so guilty for lying but it was mostly true.

"That's fine but if you feel overwhelmed or just need extra support, call me ok?" Eddie says placing a hand on Buck's hand and giving him a smile, which sets Buck to ease.

"I don't want to put you out, Eddie. I will be fine, I have Maddie and you know how she can get, I think if anyone gets close to me she will be swinging those arms." Buck chuckles.

"That is true but still I'm here. I and Chris don't have much planned, but I did want to speak to you about New year's." Eddie says.

Buck panics was Eddie going to ruin what Buck had planned? Well, not planned but in planning, he looks at Eddie and nods.

"What about new year's?" Buck asks trying to sound neutral.

"Well, we are both off and was wondering what you fancied doing. I know the team is working and so is Maddie and Athena." Eddie says.

"True, I mean I hadn't thought that far, maybe we can discuss it later?" Buck says hoping to put Eddie off. He could read Eddie and he knew the man in front of him, was going to say something about having all the kids around. So the team didn't have to worry. Especially, as they were picking up the void Eddie and himself had left been off injured.

"Yeah, ok." Eddie says as he moves his hand back and finishes his last bite of pancake.

"Well, I'm going to go get something decent on. Can't walk around looking like this," Buck says getting up and gesturing to his attire of joggers and baggy shirt.

"I don't know, I wouldn't mind walking around with you like that." Eddie says with a smirk and winks.

Buck smiles and rolls his eyes on Eddie being flirty, but he didn't mind it. Buck actually blushed at it. He picks up his empty plate, cup, and places them in the sink and starts filling the sink with water and soap. Thinking about the comment Eddie just said and he knew he needed to move on but did not know if he should. His thoughts are taken away when Eddie moves closer to him but slow enough that Buck saw him, it made Buck smile even more because Eddie was putting Buck first.

"Nope, you were the one who cooked. Least I can do is clean so you go get yourself ready." Eddie says as he slides in front of Buck.

Buck huffs but gives in and walks to his room unlocking it and spending the next thirty minutes looking at what to wear. Everything seemed to be so much harder now when it came to picking things on his own approval. He had jeans on but he couldn't pick a shirt out, he currently had four on the bed and each one he looked at he liked but didn't like at the same time. Buck was holding one of the shirts when he caught movement.

Then at the corner of his eye, he sees a familiar figure. There he was. Standing beside the mirror was Aaron, blood dripping from his mouth as he opens it.

**_'This is why you need me; I would help you pick one. It would be sooooo much easier.' _****Aaron said and slowly makes his way towards Buck.**

"GO AWAY!" Buck shouts and throws the shirt towards Aaron. He hears footsteps coming through the door as tears start to fall.

"It's ok, Buck. I'm here," Eddie says as he pulls Buck into a hug.

"I'm…" Buck starts but couldn't seem to say it.

"Shhhh, it's ok, what happened? Do you want to tell me?" Eddie asks while rubbing Buck's back.

"I couldn't pick a shirt and then I saw him… He said he would have helped me pick one." Buck explains not moving from Eddie's neck.

"Its fine Buck, you don't need him to pick one he is not here anymore. You wear what you want, you deserve to choose and whichever you do pick will suit you." Eddie explains.

Buck slowly moves from Eddie's neck and smiles at Eddie as he looks at the shirt and closes his eyes. For a while they just sat there, Eddie comforting Buck. Eventually he decides to blind choose as he liked all the shirts.

"Could you mix the shirts around for me and I'll choose that way as I like them all?" Buck asks wiping his eyes.

"Ok," Eddie says, and Buck hears him moving, "Done." Eddie says.

Buck moves forward, his eyes still closed, and feels Eddie hand on him as he gets close to the bed. He bends down and picks a shirt up. As he stands he opens his eyes and he has picked up a pale green shirt and smiles as he puts it on. Once the shirt is on nicely he turns and hugs Eddie.

"Thank you," Buck says.

"It's fine, anything else I can help with?" Eddie asks.

"No, I'm good, thank you," Buck says giving Eddie a final squeeze.

Eddie nods and leaves Buck on his own. Buck finishes getting ready spraying deodorant and aftershave. He picks his jacket up and leaves the room locking it. He heads to the living room to sit and watch whatever Chris was watching because he has time to kill before Maddie arrives.

As they sit there watching the film, Buck looks around seeing Chirs tucked into Eddie, cuddling him close. As they watched the film Buck thought that this is what he wanted the most: Him, Eddie, and Chris all together in one room. Being a family. But then the lawsuit happened, and now? He was back to where he felt the safest, he is disturbed by his phone going off.

_Maddie: 'On the way, be there soon.'_

He smiles and puts his phone back, just as he turns his attention there's a knock at the door. He shoots straight up. Trepidation bearing over his mind. He knew it wasn't Maddie. It couldn't be. He looked at the door and saw Eddie already on his way over to the door giving Buck a reassuring smile while holding out his arm, trying to calm him down. Buck tried to smile back but the fear still being dominant. Buck watched as Eddie opened the door and his fear dissipated because in walked Athena along with Harry.

"Athena, Harry, what are you doing here?" Buck questions trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

"Harry," Athena says and Harry looks up at her, "Can you be a darling and take Chris and go play in his room?" Athena says.

"Do I have to dad?" Chris asks obviously confused.

"Chris, buddy. Yes, please? And while you're there you can show Harry the new lego set Buck bought you." Eddie says and smiles at Chris.

"Oh cool, you have a new lego set?" Harry asked stepping inside the room and made a beeline towards Chris.

"Yeah, Buck bought them for me." Chris smiled.

"Can you show me?" Harry asked and Chris looked at Eddie, but Eddie just nods and smiles.

"Follow me!" Chris said excitedly as Harry also help Chris walk with his crutches. When they heard Christopher's door close, a moment of silence passes by them. And it all went down to business.

"So, can you explain why you're here?" Buck asks again.

"Yeah, I came to inform you that Chase has been brought before the judge for his plea." Athena stars and eyes Buck, "It's earlier than we expected. I just wanted to warn you in advance because people will find out sooner or later. The press will be hovering once they find out a lawyer trying screw the system has been arrested, and will want the full story." Athena explains and she holds Buck's hands.

"I understand, but they won't know to look here. As far as people are concerned me and Eddie aren't friends so I'm all good." Buck says and looks at Eddie and longingly smiles. Eddie does the same, and Buck feels safe "I'm just glad I don't have to face him in court," Buck says.

"That you don't, but will he get to bail?" Eddie questions.

"No chance," Buck says terrified of its implications when Chase got out of jail.

"No, when I spoke to the DA; they said there's no chance they would grant him bail because he is dangerous," Athena says just then there was another knock at the door.

Eddie wanders over as Buck watches with intent and sees Eddie smile as he opens it and is embraced in a hug and Maddie comes into view.

"Athena, what are you doing here?" Maddie questions.

"Just explaining that Chase is going before the judge later on." She explains and hugs Maddie as well.

"It's boxing day though." Maddie quizzes.

"Yeah, but they don't stop at the court. So hopefully we will get his trial date soon and it all be over," Athena says smiling at Buck.

"Yes, can't wait. Can we go, Maddie?" Buck says shifting a bit as he was getting uncomfortable with this topic. Chase getting his plea today, the court, another trial.

He hopes his sister picks up on the feelings Buck has as he looks at her and she smiles.

"Yeah let's go," Quickly grabbing his hand," There's a lot of shopping to be done." Maddie says and smiles at Eddie and Athena.

"Hang on, doesn't this take priority over some shopping?" Eddie says stepping close with Buck.

"No, it doesn't." Buck says, "We knew what was going happen eventually, Eddie. I just want to go and enjoy the rest of my day."

"Buck..."Eddie starts but he was cut off by Athena's hand.

"Its ok Buckaroo. You go enjoy the day and I'll see you later, Eddie you can make me a brew?" Athena says smiling at Buck.

"Thank you." Buck says.

"I'll see you later Eddie," Buck says, and Eddie moves to give him a hug and Buck melts into it.

They break the hug and head off jumping into Maddie's car and head to the shops. The whole ride there Buck didn't say a thing he just kept thinking how he was going explain to his sister what he wanted to do but didn't know if he should. Eventually, they park up and Buck goes on autopilot as they go in and out each shop. Later on, they go for coffee and pick a quiet corner in the coffee shop.

"So, what was so important you needed me to break you out? Even though you haven't spoken at all." Maddie asks as she takes a sip from her coffee.

Buck looks up and smiles at her.

"It's just, ugh… It's going sound lame." Buck says taking a sip of his drink

"It won't." Maddie says reassuring him

"Well, I was thinking on New Year's eve, when it hits midnight that I should maybe ask Eddie out? But I don't know if its too soon or if its right to burden him with my troubles. I just don't know what to do." Buck says.

"Ok, let me try to understand your rambling. You want to ask Eddie out on new year's eve and day, but you don't know if it's too soon or to burden him with your troubles, that right?" She asks and Buck nods "Evan, Eddie has you living with him and he gave you a room."

"Yeah, he did, because I had no where else to go to" Buck admitted thinking about the effort Eddie must have gone through to do that, and hide it from him.

"In his own house!" Maddie said exasperated. But Buck knew she was just being sarcastic. "He has already said that he will wait till you are ready, and anyone can see he wants to be with you. He is just waiting for you to make the decision. I mean if you are thinking it I'm guessing you want to." Maddie says.

"I do, I do…" Buck says, but he just wasn't sure if it was right in his mind, "He has been there and supported me this whole time, he helps no matter how tired he is and I want to do this."

"But?" Maddie interjected him.

"I know he said he would take me out but I want to take him out? Am I crazy?" Buck asks.

"No, you are in love. I know it's been hard for you to bring up your feelings for Eddie, but they were there the whole time. It's a leap of faith, Evan. You just have to jump and see if it works, but we all know it will." Maddie says smirking.

"Thank you." Buck says smiling.

"So now we sorted that out. Give me deets!" Maddie says, maybe a little bit overexcited which made Buck chuckle at his sister's enthusiasm.

"I haven't thought about anything." Buck admits.

"Well, me and Chim will have Chris… So there's one thing sorted and we can discuss other details later." Maddie smiles.

"Yeah, lets hit some more shops and head back. Eddie will be pacing around the house like a mad man and you know that." Buck chuckles.

"He will be, thank God for Athena." Maddie chuckles.

They head back into the shops and buy some more things and make there way back to the car, heading back to the Diaz house. Once there, they pull up in the driveway. Maddie chuckles and points out the window and Buck sees Eddie standing there with a smile.

"See, he is keen." Maddie chuckles.

"Maybe, too keen." Buck smirks.

"Can never be too keen" Maddie jokes as she gets out.

Buck gets out and waves to Eddie as he grabs the bags from the car. Buck hugs Maddie and waves her off. He looks down the street, the sound of Christmas carollers could be heard around the block and he smiled then headed towards Eddie; who held his hand out to take the bags.

"More stuff?" Eddie chuckles.

"Yeah more, has Athena gone?" Buck asks.

"About 30 mins ago, she got a call. Said she'd be back later for Harry." Eddie explains as he leads Buck inside.

"Oh ok, so cooking for three kids?" Buck smirks at Eddie.

"Rude, I was thinking of pizza though." Eddie smiles.

"Yeah maybe, best get them in as the singers will be here soon by the sound of it, and I promised Chris he could watch them." Buck smiles.

"Ok, I'll go get them. You go put your shopping away." Eddie says.

Buck smiles and opens his lock and heads in. He tidies his room then looks at his new stuff, smiling at what he brought. He hears Chris and Harry as they walk past and there's a knock at the door. Buck places the stuff down and heads out, joining Eddie and the kids at the door as they listen to the singing. Eventually, they finish and Buck hands them some money and they close the door.

"Lets order pizza," Buck says.

"Everyone to the kitchen." Eddie says.

They start walking and there's a knock and Buck turns

"Must be after more money. I'll get rid of them" Buck says.

"Ok, shout if you need me," Eddie says and Buck smiles as he turns the doorknob and opens the door his smile disappears.

There was no one on the front porch. Across the yard, however, was something Buck hadn't thought to see. A man stood just behind a white car, clad in a full blue suit. The man smiled and raised his hands as if to greet him. Buck could feel his blood turning cold on him.

_'No, he's not there…. I'm just imagining things…'_ Buck thought to himself and he wipes his eyes, in hopes that he is just seeing things. Just like with Aaron earlier. But no. It really was him.

Chase stood behind his white car and raises a sign up. The letterings were in red and Buck felt the fear crushing his lungs, forcing out the remaining air he has.

**_'Miss me, Princess?' _**The first sign read, then Chase lowers it and lifts another.

**_'_****_I'm still alive. But the next time, you won't be.'_** He lowers it again and raises the third sign.

**_'And I'll make sure to bury you next to Aaron.'_**

Buck just stood there, His face turning white as he gets a flashback on that night at the pier. The marking on Buck's leg, gunshots, and Eddie's face as he felt the blood coming out of him. His thoughts were then crashed by the sound of an engine revving.

Chase had already speeded away.

"Buck," It was Eddie. "Is everything okay?" He asks him as he looks out across the yard and sees nothing.

He couldn't take it anymore. Buck needed to end this. Permanently.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Buck said in response and went inside to wait with the kids for the pizza.


	22. Chapter 22

"So, what pizza do you all fancy?" Eddie asks looking at the kids, but his eyes were mostly trained on Buck. Buck on the other hand tried to avoid his gaze.

He stared at the menu unsure he would be able to eat. His mind still racing to what just happened earlier.

**_Chase was out._**

**_Chase was out. _**

**_Chase was out. _**

How did he do it Buck thinks, or was it yet again another vision like Aaron? We're they were getting more real? Buck thought he was getting over it, on what happened to him. But obviously not, he needed to do something. He thinks back to his prior thought, haunting him. The thought hangs above his head like the blade of a guillotine, waiting to drop on to his head.

"Earth to Buck, you ok?" Eddie questions and throws Buck from his train of thought.

"Yeah, sorry. Just thinking." Buck says and plasters on a smile. He notices Eddie give him that look.

_'Need to act normal. Need to act normal. **I need to fucking act normal!'**_ Buck repeatedly thinks to himself, jabbing the thoughts in his head.

He sits up and smiles then he started looking at the menu, smiling at Eddie who smiles back. Buck randomly picks a pizza and shows it to Eddie who looks and smiles again, before adding it to the order. Once the kids have ordered they charge into the living room where discussion can be heard about what film to put on. Buck turns then starts to walk away to his room, to hide his tears from everyone - when he feels a hand on his arm which makes him jump.

"Sorry, Buck," Eddie says straight away, "It's me, Eddie." His voice calms Buck's quickly rising anxiety.

"It's ok, just having a bad day," Buck says not wanting to look at Eddie. Because he knows the second he talks to Eddie about what he's feeling, he will break down.

"What happened? At the door and don't say nothing I know you; I can tell when something is bothering you." Eddie says, and Buck can feel Eddie's presence next to him now. So he turns looking at the shirt Eddie is wearing. He couldn't bear to say it in front of Eddie. The shame of being weak, the shame of being needy, the shame of being useless – engulfs Buck's mind. Buck knows that he needs to say it, he can trust Eddie. Right?

"I…" Buck starts but his mind thinks that maybe Eddie too is just an illusion? Was he just imagining Eddie being here? Was it really Chase? Is this really Eddie?

But he could feel Eddie's gentle grip on Buck's wrist.

_'He's real?'_

Without looking up, he admitted what he saw.

"I… saw Chase standing outside in his suit and he held signs up," Buck said and waited for a comment saying that he's hallucinating or that he's going mad, but Eddie didn't say anything.  
"The signs were saying that next time we meet, I will be dead and he was going bury me with Aaron," Buck says holding back the tears, "I know it's my imagination but it felt so real like it did with Aaron earlier. Eddie, I feel like I'm having a breakdown or psychotic break." Buck finally got that out and tears started to fall again. He felt so useless. Doing nothing, but crying. Over and over and over and over.

**_'That's because you're useless.' _**Says a familiar voice but Buck pushes it aside.

Buck is pulled into Eddie's chest and he wraps his hand round him. Any other time he would feel safe and everything would feel right when he hugs Eddie. But now? He didn't feel anything. Just terror and that scared Buck more.

He didn't feel safe anymore, even with Eddie.

_'I don't feel safe. I don't… **I don't feel safe..?'**_

Buck broke the hug and walked off, not able to look at Eddie. He headed to his room and closed the door locking it. He moved to the window and locked it as well then closed the curtains. After looking around to make sure that it was dark and it was only him, he sat on his bed in the dark, crying his heart out.

"Buck, can I come in. Please?" It was Eddie's voice at the door.

"I just want to be alone. Please…" Buck says.

"Ok, but I'll be sitting right outside the door so I'm here when you are ready, ok?" Eddie says.

Buck doesn't say anything, he knows Eddie won't move. But he wanders over to the door and places his back against it and slides down, so he too is sat on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Buck says.

"No need to be sorry Buck. I know it must be difficult seeing two people that did such horrible things to you, but you know they're not real, and I am here to protect you." Eddie says through the door.

Buck kept quiet. The flashback of the last time he thought he was safe and then he was taken, Chris getting injured, and then Eddie got shot, twice. Buck shakes his head trying to get the image of Eddie dying on the floor out his head.

**_'Because of you. They both got hurt. Because. Of. YOU.'_** Buck reminds himself.

"Last time, you both got hurt because of me though." Buck lets out.

"I know, we got hurt but that was not your fault. No one could have predicted that to happen, Buck. You don't need to take the blame for something you had no control of." Eddie calmly explains to Buck.

"But if I hadn't had gone to Chase and started the lawsuit none, of this would be happening in the first place." Buck says looking around his darkroom.

"I know Buck, but then could you predict a kid blowing up the fire truck with you in it? Or the tsunami hitting the pier while you and Chris were there? No. You couldn't have. So don't make this complicated because it's not. You were taken advantage of because me and the team dropped the ball. If we…" Eddie paused for a moment before Buck heard him continue, "I mean if I was the proper best friend to you, we could have talked it out. Properly. And I would have had your back with Bobby benching you. I'm sorry I didn't and I took it all out on you when all you wanted was to be with us." Eddie says and Buck can hear the sadness in his voice, which made Buck even push through his thought.

**_'See? You're only a bother to them. He's only helping you because you're injured. He's just sympathizing with you so that the next time he has the chance… He'll drop you and ignore you.' _**Aaron's voice echos in his mind.

"Eddie, It wasn't you, it was me. I should have thought about what I was doing, but I just wanted to be with the team like you said. To be close to you again, but I pushed you all and went the wrong way about it. And all it did was make everyone angrier." Buck says he knew it was all his doing no matter how Eddie sugar-coated it.

There was a knock at the door, it wasn't at Buck's door, but from the front door.

"I will be back in a min, please come out that will be the pizza." Eddie says.

Buck then heard the sound of Eddie getting up and footsteps. Seconds on the eventual sound of the door opening and chatter happening, then the door closes.

"Pizzas up! Come and get it while it's hot." Eddie shouts towards Buck who still sits at the door, not wanting to move.

"Where is Buck?" Harry asks.

"Yeah, I wanted him to show Harry that trick he does with pizza." Chris questions.

If there is one thing Buck does know; he would never let the kids down if they were there. So he wipes his face and stands up.

"He is just sorting something in his room, he will join soon. I'm sure." Buck can hear Eddie explaining to the kids.

Buck turns the light on and looks at his face in the mirror. The redness from when he's been crying still strong. So he gives them another quick rub and heads out walking down the hall, where he can hear the sound of laughter from the kids. As he gets to the kitchen he sees the kid's backs facing him and Eddie standing on the other side of the table, looking at him and lets out a sad smile to Buck who returns a smile.

"So, who wants to see a trick?" Buck says, and the kids turn and look at him and smile.

Buck thinks if they noticed the redness in his eyes they are not letting on. Most likely they have been warned by Eddie or Athena to not question too much, and Buck was thankful. He can just be him for a bit.

"Me, what's the trick?" Harry says tilting his head to the side a bit.

"Simple one that involves a slice disappearing only using one hand." Buck says smiling and he sees Eddie smirk.

"Show us!" Chris says smiling.

"Ok." Buck smiles.

He moves one slice with one hand his other behind his back, and rolls the slice up into a roll picks the roll, and eats it.

"That's cheating!" Harry says but he still smiles and giggles.

"Why is it? I said I would make it disappear with one hand! I never said how it would disappear." Buck chuckles.

"Let me try," Chris says.

"Me too" Harry joins in.

Buck moves around the table and stands next to Eddie. They both watch the boys roll the pizza trying to do it with one hand and both failing and making a mess.

"You know they're going to be covered in pizza sauce?" Eddie chuckles.

"Yup, but worth watching." Buck smiles and appreciates Eddie not pushing him to talk about what they were talking about earlier.

"Does that mean your offering to; A. explain to Athena why Harry is covered in ketchup and toppings and, B. going clean the mess?" Eddie says looking at Buck.

"I'll explain to Athena, but I think that means you can clean as explaining to Athena will be worth four days of cleaning." Buck chuckles.

"Four days? You are being too kind." Eddie laughs.

"True, let's eat, and then we can watch a film." Buck says.

"Yeah, that's fine with me, as long as you promise me one thing." Eddie asks.

"Go on…" Buck enquires worried where this was going.

"Call your therapist. Explain what happened and maybe they can suggest something to help you, I mean if you don't want to I won't push. I just think it will help." Eddie says intentionally looking away from him.

"I know, but I don't want to bother them. They're most likely having a nice few days off." Buck says.

"Buck, they are there, whenever you need them. Remember what she said? Call her anytime, she will pick up." Eddie explains.

"I will call tomorrow, it's late and I'm fine but if it happens again during the night I'll call ok?" Buck gives in. He knew Eddie was right and he did need the help.

They all eat and make their way to watch the film. As they watch it Buck starts to get tired. The emotional drain catching up and he subconsciously leans on Eddies' shoulder and nods off.

"WHAT!" Buck wakes to Eddie shouting. Which prompts Buck to keep his eyes close because he's scared of what's happening.

_"Eddie be quiet!"_ Athena hissed.

Buck can tell his head is on a pillow and can feel a blanket, he keeps quiet and listens in.

"You said he would not get bail… Fuck then that means…" Eddie says.

Buck recalls Chase's smirking face from earlier. And the sign's he was raising…

**_'So he's really out.'_** Buck thought. Which made his decision even more compelling.

"What are you on about?" Athena asks.

"Buck said he saw Chase earlier today standing outside and that he held signs up." Eddie says.

"Why didn't you report it?" Athena asks her tone sounded pissed.

"Well, he saw Aaron earlier in the day so he thought it must have been his imagination playing up again. Especially when we thought he wouldn't get bail. Buck thinks he is having a psychotic break, I don't know what he will do if he finds out Chase is out, or if he just turns up here again." Eddie explains.

"We can't tell Buck; I will get someone to watch this place but if Buck finds out it may push him too far." Athena says her tone worried.

"I can't lie to him, and I won't. He needs to know." Eddie says.

"Eddie, no." Athena says.

Buck feels the sofa dip and a gentle brush of something down his arm, a hand running through his curls. Buck felt guilty. He knows what has been said, but at the same time glad that Eddie is being honest with him. He slowly turns pretending to wake up rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, did I fall asleep?" Buck says and yawns.

"It's fine, you needed it. But I need you to sit up, I need to tell you something." Eddie says.

Buck sits up and see's Athena stood there, and she lets a smile out.

"What's going on? You got me worried now." Buck says trying to play it cool.

"It's Chase." Eddie starts.

"What about him? He's locked up, I know I imagined him earlier but I'll talk to my therapist. I promise." Buck felt bad lying but he didn't want them to shout at him for listening in when he shouldn't have.

"No, Buck. He is out he got bail." Eddie says taking hold of Buck's hand.

"You mean…" Buck says looking at Eddie.

"Yes. When you saw him earlier it was really him." Eddie says his hand getting tighter around Bucks.

"But why did no one contact me or come here to tell me?" Buck questions.

"I just found out; seems like someone didn't pass the message on to me." Athena says partly irritated.

"Chase using his favors then? He's going to get away with it isn't he?" Buck says.

"No, he won't. Remember we have loads of evidence piled against him." Athena says and gives him a reassuring look.

"He will not hurt you again I promise." Eddie says.

"But what if he hurts you again or Chris, he already got bail. When we were told he wouldn't. So what's to stop him from getting off?" Buck says as he stands.

"Buck wait." Eddie says as he tried to grab hold of Buck but shuns him off and charges to his room, locking it. He collapses on the bed and looks up at the ceiling.

He looks for his phone and dials his sister.

"Hey, miss me already?" She jokes.

"He got bail Mads. He is going to get away with it and nothing is stopping him from coming after me or anyone I love." Buck breaks.

"What how? Do you want me to come over?" She asks.

"No, I just needed to tell you, make sure you lock everything and be safe please?" Buck says.

"I will, I'm just worried about you that's all," Maddie says.

"I know, but I will be fine. I have Eddie here and Athena said someone will be outside at all times to watch for us." Buck says.

"Ok, I'm here if you need anything." Maddie explains.

"Thank you, love you, sis." Buck says. He chocked the last three words out.

"Love you too, night." Maddie says.

Buck hangs up and sits up looking around the lovely room made just for him. He can feel the love but at the same time, he feels guilt. It all could be taken away, and it was his fault. He needed to do something to stop Chase once and for all, but what? He started getting tired and decided he would make a plan in the morning and end this, permanently. He knew what had to be done and Chase wouldn't bother him anymore. He strips down and falls asleep hoping he gets a good night's sleep at least.

Buck awakens by the light coming from the windows. He spent most of the night up, lying there in bed - Figuring out the next step in his plan. He knew where the things he needed were at. He just had to get them out of the house without been seen as well as past the guard detail outside Athena had set up. He looks at his phone its 9:00 am plenty of time sort things out. He gets up and grabs a bag placing two bottles in and heads out locking the door

"Morning Bucky." Chris says as Buck turns.

"Morning buddy, how are you today?" Buck says as he bends down and hugs him.

"Good, I'm going Abuela's later." Chris says.

"Oh, right. I didn't think you were going anywhere today?" Buck questions last he remembered they were going watch films and he would get Eddie nip shop. So, Buck had a reason to stay and grab what he needed from Eddies' room.

"He wants to spend the day with you…" Chris says.

"Chris food is ready, oh your up." Eddie says and Buck turns around down the hall and sees Eddie, "I'll put the coffee on." Eddie smiles.

"Ok, thanks." Buck smiles and notices Eddie looking out the window.

"You ok to Make it yourself, I need to go drop this off at the neighbors. it was delivered by mistake and they just got back I will be back in a minute." Eddie says.

"Ok, go it's fine. You will be next door." Buck asks giving Eddie a look.

"Yeah, 5 minutes at most." Eddie says smiling.

"Ok, superman lets get you eating." Buck says as they move to the kitchen.

Chris jumps on the chair and starts eating and Buck starts making coffee. He watches as Eddie gets some stuff and heads out, once the door is closed Buck takes the opportunity.

"Just getting my phone, I'll be back in a min ok?" Buck says to Chris.

"Ok." Chris says and hums a song.

Buck quickly walks down the hall unlocks his room and carries on to Eddie's room. He heads in knowing he had to be quick and opened up the wardrobe and looks inside. There he sees the box he was looking for and opens it; Buck looks at the item inside and closes the lid and takes the box out. Buck turns around and see's the hoodie he loves to wear as it smelt of Eddie and took it along too. He quickly closes the door and heads down the hall going in his room and places the box in the bag with the bottles and lays the hoodie over it. After securing and hiding it he heads out locking the door. He makes it back into the kitchen just as Eddie walks through.

"You still haven't made the coffee." Eddie chuckles.

"Yeah sorry had to go get my phone. Maddie said she would call, you know, after last night." Buck said not to alert Chris.

"Ah ok, was she ok?" Eddie asks raising an eyebrow.

Buck nods and starts on making them both coffee.

"Is the officer still out there?" Buck questions.

"Yeah, looks knackered though." Eddie replies as he takes Chris empty bowl.

"I'll make him one then." Buck says.

"Ok be quick, Chris is going to Abuela's in a bit." Eddie says.

"Oh right why? I thought we were having a film day?" Buck questions knowing already about why Chris was going.

"I thought we could spend some time alone… Talking." Eddie says rocking on his heels.

"Eddie, we talked already. I will call my therapist later." Buck says painting a smile on his face, he just wanted to enjoy the day with his two favorite people. "Cancel Abuela please, I was looking forward to just the three of us and a film marathon." Buck says as he finishes the coffees.

"Ok," Eddie says

"Cool, you call her as I take this outside." Buck says and grabs the mug of coffee.

Buck walks out with the coffee in hand looking around before he steps out the door and heads towards the squad car and knocks on the window.

"Hey, made you a coffee. I'm sorry that you're out here." Buck says apologetically.

"No problem, to be honest, makes life easy for me. Maybe uneventful but no rushing round in the post Christmas traffic." The officer replies.

"What time do you swap shifts?" Buck asks.

"Around 3 pm," The office says, and that works fine. It's close to sunset when Buck gets where he wants to be.

"Cool, well I'll pop out with another cup later for you." Buck says smiling.

Buck heads back in and starts making something light to eat for breakfast for him and Eddie. Chris' in his room playing, as Buck plates the food and places it down he turns and sees Eddie standing there.

"She's annoyed, but she understands." Eddie says and Buck pulls Eddie into a hug.

"Thank you," Buck says and he tries to melt into the hug.

"It's fine, I get it from her even on a normal day." Eddie smiles.

They sit and eat and laugh about anything they could think of. It feels like the good old times, which he will very much miss. Once they are done, Eddie cleans and Buck gets up.

"Just need to sort some stuff out. I'll be out in about 30 minutes then we can start on the films." Buck says.

"Ok, need any help?" Eddie asks.

"No, all good." Buck smiles and heads to his room.

Once inside, he locks the room and turns the light on then he heads over to the bag where he takes the box out and looks at the item. He swore he would never use one. He places it down and goes into his draw's and gets some paper and a pen and envelopes. He sits down looking at the item, he wanted to make sure he was prepared. He writes letters to Maddie and the rest of the team but he leaves out Eddie's. Thinking he will come later to write it when he knew what to say and spends a while writing Chris's and reads it again to make sure it's ok.

**_'_****_Dear Christopher,  
I know you may not understand why I had to leave but one day you will. I know I promised I would not leave you and I'm sorry that I had to go but trust me no matter where I end up I will be looking out for you and your dad. Every time you see the wind blow across your face, and it feels warm that will be me.  
Be good and look after your dad I know he will need your magical hugs to keep him happy.  
Love, your Bucky.  
Xx'_**

As he looks at the letter he writes a few more and seals them in separate envelopes and dates them for each occasion before sealing them with the main letter.

He wipes the tears away while he was writing. Buck knew he may not be back for a while or at all even. He gets up places the letters on his draw side and pops his head out and looks around and sees Eddie in the living room with Chris. He goes back in and grabs the bag and places the item back in and the hoodie too then walks out.

"Forgot something from my jeep, be back in two minutes." Buck says as he power walks past.

"Oh, ok." Eddie says.

Buck is out quick and heads to his car placing the items on the passenger seat and heads back in, he sits down with Eddie and Chris.

"Found it?" Eddie asks.

"Oh no, couldn't see it, so what are we watching?" Buck asks.

"Star Wars trilogy." Chris says.

"Good choice." Buck smiles.

As they sit there watching the films, Buck was running through all the emotions and his plan. He finally decided he couldn't do it: taking the high road? No. Which left only one choice open for him.

He looked at the time and it was 2:35. The cops would change shift soon, he looked down and saw both Eddie and Chris had fallen asleep. Buck gently gets up making sure not to make any sounds and heads to his room. Where he gets a paper and a pen and writes a letter to Eddie. Once he is done the time has just reached 3 pm. He walks out of his room and places the letter on the kitchen side to make sure that Eddie would see it first. Buck looks out the window surely enough the first cop leaves and buck takes the chance and guns for his jeep. He gets in his jeep and starts driving. Once far enough away he sets the destination and he would get there around 3:30 depending on traffic and starts driving.

***Eddie***

Back in the house Eddie wakes to a bang outside and jumps up. Eddie looks around and he doesn't see Buck. He looks at the time it's 3:15 he gets up and heads to the window and sees a new cop sitting there. His immediate panic vanishing only to be replaced by another.

_'Where is he!?'_

As he turns he sees an envelope on the table and walks to it and knows its Bucks writing so he opens it.

**_'My dearest Edmundo,  
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to write and I'm sorry it has come to this. I wish there was a way I could be there with you but, the longer I am around the more I put you and Christopher in danger and I can't do that. I don't feel safe anywhere and there's only one thing I can think of doing and I know it's a coward's move, but it's the only thing I have left which I can control. Remember that time we were on a cliff for the ghost call and found that cove? Overlooking the ocean? I can't explain it but I felt a peace there. I don't want you rushing to try to stop me. Just know that I have loved you for so long and I wished it had all worked out. I'm sorry I won't be there to wipe away the tears I know you're crying but, raise your chin, will you? You Diaz's wouldn't look so dashing when you cry.  
I'm also sorry I have left Chris, I have written a letter to him, and then there's more for his birthdays and Christmas as well as for his graduation. I just wish I could be there to watch him march on the stage and accept his medals, as he looks on with his life, with us. But just know where ever I end up in the next life, I will be looking down on the both of you. I love you so much Edmundo and don't let anyone ever tell you anything else. And I'm sorry I could not be the man who stuck around but I'm too damaged for you and too much of a risk of you both getting hurt again because of me. If something were to happen to you or Chris again, I wouldn't be able to live with it. This is not goodbye, I will see you in the next life and I'll be waiting.  
Always yours, Evan  
Xx'_**

Eddie has tears rolling down his face. He distinctly recalls Buck saying something about a certain place where he would go to run away from everything. He has a strong feeling that's where he is going. Eddie rushes to Chris and wakes him. If what he just read was implying what he was thinking, then Buck would probably be nearing there already.

"We've got to go, Buddy." Eddie says as he picks up Chris.

He knew Abuela's house was on the way as he ran out and put Chris in the car. The kid is still obviously shaken up by what's happening. But he didn't protest, and Eddie thanked God for that. He rang Abuela explaining that Chris will be there in a min but he had to explain that it was Buck.

Thankfully, his Abuela understood. Eddie got in the car and sped off, he started panicking.

_'What were you thinking Buck!?' _Eddie screamed at his mind.

Not knowing what to do when he got to Abuela's it was 3:29 and he dropped him off, kissed him, and jumped back hoping that he gets there in time.

_'Hold on Evan. I'm coming.'_

Buck arrived at the point. It was cold up there. He could feel tears streaming down his face.

**_'Here I go again… Crying. Being useless…'_** Buck thought to himself.

He grabbed the bottle of pills and whiskey as he walked down. Buck looked at the time; 3:45 PM. He knew if Eddie woke up when he left, he's most likely to be on the way. He wanted to hold on for a while, just for a few more minutes. But he knows that if he were to stay alive Eddie or Chris might get hurt again. So he needed to be quick. Buck moved down found a spot that looked over the rocks where he watched the ocean rock back and forth.

Eddie calls 9-1-1. He needs an ambulance on the scene and he waits for the answer.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?" the man said from the other side. Eddie could somehow recognize the voice but he pushed it away. His sole focus was on Buck.

"My name is Eddie Diaz, I'm a firefighter from the 118…" But before he could continue the man on the phone spoke up.

"Eddie? Wha... What's going on?" It was Josh, he knew it should be.

"Josh? Is that you?"

"Yeah…"

_'Ah shit. Maddie.'_

"Josh, can you no call Maddie over?" Eddie said as he tries to maneuver along with the traffic. "Josh, I need medical teams to Vista Point, Abalone. Buck may be attempting suicide." Eddie balls down the phone.

There was silence for a bit, but he knew somehow that Maddie was there. Listening in.

"Ok, I'm on it." Josh says but he stays on the line.

**** 118 team ****

"All units, we need medical units near Vista Point, Abalone. We just received a call stating that there might be a suicide attempt near there. The person is believed to be Evan Buckley." Maddie relayed it over the radio.

"Maddie?" She hears a familiar voice on the radio, "This is Captain Nash of the 118 responding, we are just in West Carson."

Maddie try's to hold back her tears but it comes anyway.

"Bobby! Buck is…" Maddie cracked and she could feel someone holding her shoulders. She turned around and sees Sue. Josh was looking at her from across tables.

"I heard, Maddie. We're just wrapping up in an accident over here. We're going already."

****Eddie****

"We've got someone on the way already." Josh said spooking Eddie for a bit.

"Ok, I'll call Bobby." Eddie says and hangs up calling Bobby.

"Eddie?" Bobby questions.

"It's Buck" Eddie starst and stops as he hears a woman's voice over the radio.

"All units, we need medical units near Vista Point, Abalone. We just received a call stating that there might be a suicide attempt near there. The person is believed to be Evan Buckley." The woman says.

"Maddie?" Eddie hears Bobby question, "This is Captain Nash of the 118 responding, we are just in West Carson."

"Bobby! Buck is…" Eddie could barely hear her mostly because he was focusing on driving. He was already near.

"I heard, Maddie. We're just wrapping up in an accident over here. We're going already." Bobby said.

"I'm already on the way, I'll be there soon. I know you're a while out, just be ready please, Bobby." Eddie pleads.

"We will." Bobby replies and Eddie hangs up. He then continues to drive on.

****Buck****

Buck watches as the sunsets. He looks down at the ocean and smiles.

He finally felt at peace, as he takes the pills and chugs them down with the bottle of whiskey.

The low glow of the setting sun filling his vision, as he looks on with hooded eyes.

They were becoming heavier by the minute. It was getting colder now, even with Buck wearing Eddie's hoodie, that wasn't enough though for LA's winter season.

With each minute passing, Buck feels his life withdrawing out of him.

He could feel his heartbeat slowing and as he moved a hand to place over a pulse point he could feel the steady but declining pulse as each one took longer to come.

He smiled one last time. Although it was a sad smile and all he could remember was his bitter tears streaming down his face and him saying: "I'm useless." And with that, everything went black.

****Eddie****

Eddie arrives near the end of the trail. He looks around and sees no one.

"BUCK!" He screams, hoping for a response. But none came.

Eddie then ran along the edge of the cliff's hoping to see a figure somewhere as he keeps on screaming Buck's name.

After what nearly felt like an eternity he saw a familiar figure, he looked closely and recognizes his hoodie.

"EVAN!"

Eddie looked around and spotted a small trail leading down near the rocky area where Buck was lying in. He runs down the trail, his heart pounding and his breath hitching in between his tears.

He finally got near to him and he tumbles down, rolling in the sand and rocks near him. It hurts. But that didn't matter.

He shakes Buck hoping for him to open his eyes. And he does.

"I'm sorry…" Buck murmured and with one final breath, his body goes limp.


End file.
